Seductive Elegance
by Vintage Vixxin
Summary: Struggling in the void between madness and greatness, Rhaella Targaryen must face the bloody and brutal path set before her. Will she stand strong, or will she crumble into the chaos of fire and blood?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Welcome to the new story, I hope you enjoy! There's a couple of things I'd like to point out - This is an AU story, Jon Snow isn't going to be born, there's lots of death, violence, mature language, descriptive smut and some not very nice things. It's a Game of Thrones fanfic. What can I say? So, if the list of things doesn't float your boat, please don't read it. However, if you don't mind it and you do read ahead, let me know what you think :) Cheers!**

 **(If your curious) The Rhaegar I'm portraying is the one depicted by Karla Ortiz in The World of Ice and Fire.**

* * *

Feeling my chest heave up and down, a smile had etched itself onto my face as I pressed my back up against the garden hedge. Feeling the branches and leaves scratch along the fabric of my dress and skin, I was as silent and still as I could possibly be. The sky was clear and it was a perfect day in Kingslanding – a perfect day for a game of chase.

Listening, I could hear the others as they ran with muffled giggles – trying not to get caught. Peaking my head around the corner, I watched with a careful eye. I could see Penny just a little distance away, hiding behind another hedge. Gasping, the boy named Brendon had stepped out to take a long look around – he was the one who was supposed to catch us.

"Found you" I heard him call out after Penny let out a little scream at being caught. Scrunching a fistful of my dress I took off down the other way. Feeling my heart thump under my chest like a series of galloping horses, I quickly glanced behind me to see that Brendon had just turned the corner I was recently hiding behind.

"You're getting slow" I teased out as I giggled, my silver white hair blowing in the wind as I ran.

Not hearing a reply back, I had turned down several pathways before coming to a halt. Taking laboured breaths, I glanced around and noticed it was deathly quiet. Peaking around here and there, I went to turn around again when a pair of strong arms wrapped around me causing me to squeal "I may be slow, but I'm smart" grinned Brandon as he looked down at me with a cheeky look on his face.

A head taller than me, Brandon was two years my senior with short brown hair and chocolate coloured eyes. Charming and intelligent, I had known him for several years and over that span of time we had slowly but surely become rather close – a little _too_ close some would say.

"Smart" I agreed with a nod of my head and a smile "But also cunning"

"And you love it" he winked "You wouldn't have me any other way" chuckling, I gave a light smack to his chest before shaking my head playfully. Always the tease. Resting my hand on his chest, I noticed that his heart was beating a tad bit faster. I thought it might have been from all the running, but as I looked up at him – a _moment_ had clicked.

Gazing into his brown orbs, my site slowly leveled down to his lips and despite being out in the open, the air around us had suddenly turned thick. Feeling a heated blush crawl onto my cheeks, I wasn't quite sure what to think as I felt butterflies in my stomach. Hearing the sudden clicking sound of shoes along the garden pavement, I quickly detached myself as Penny rounded the corner with a smile.

" _There_ you two are" she said with a somewhat relieved tone "I thought you might have gotten lost. Come one" she said with a nod of her head "The others are waiting"

Glancing at Brendon, I noticed the slight shift in his demeanour as his eyes were still trained on me. Linking my arm with Penny's, I tried to make it seem as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened – the last thing I needed was everyone teasing and asking questions. Following close behind, all three of us made out way over to the patch of lawn near a waterfall that had been set up with a picnic lunch; the few other girls and boys already partaking in freshly baked goods and fruit.

Finding an empty spot, I sat down in the circle we had formed; my dress skirt puffing out around me. Reaching over I grabbed a lemon cake and took a bite. Conversing with the girl beside me, Penny touched my leg to grab my attention "What's wrong?" I asked.

She leant in to whisper to me "There's something wrong with Brandon. He keeps staring at you" snapping my eyes over to man sitting across the circle. With one of his legs angled up, his arm rested on his knee as he fiddled with a blade of grass.

Brandon was indeed staring at me, and rather _intently_.

Swallowing the lump in the back of my throat, I turned back to Penny "It's nothing. He's probably trying to annoy me again" I said with an easy tone. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it or make it something to worry about. I'll talk to him later when there's not so many people around.

There was a pause until Penny asked "Are you sure there's nothing going on between you two?" looking at her, I gave a firm nod and decent smile.

"There's nothing going on…I promise"

Finishing the rest of lunch with small bits of conversation and food, Brendon had thankfully stopped staring after a while. Finding my way through the maze of the Royal Gardens, I was walking down a narrow hallway that looked over a court yard below when I was suddenly pulled aside by a pair of strong hands. Gasping, I went to squeal and kick at my attacker when I heard his voice "It's just me" said Brendon as my back pressed against his chest.

Whirling around in his arms, I glared up at him "I thought you were going to hurt me" pulled up against a shadowed curve in the wall, there was no one around but us. I huffed "You should be more careful at who you stare at" I said referring to earlier on today. I might as well bring it up now that were away from everyone else.

"Am I not allowed to look at a beautiful woman?" he questioned with a teasing smirk on his lips.

I looked down with a sigh "If someone were to see us like this" I gestured to our close bodies "I don't want anything to happen to you because of me" feeling a pang in my chest, I glanced up to Brendon. For the time being we've managed to keep our 'extra' time together a secret. So far it wasn't anything too physical, just a few heated kisses here and there. But still, what we're doing isn't safe. It's dangerous. After all, I am royalty and he is not.

"No one's going to catch us" he tried to reassure me as he tucked a piece of my silver hair behind my ear "No one's going to know"

I frowned "But what if they do?" I was sad just thinking about "They'd send you away and I'd never see you again, and…my birthday – it's a week from now. I'll be turning sixteen. What would we do then?" What will happen when soon after I'll be married to my brother – Rhaegar?

He gave me a series look "We'll run away together, just you and me. We'll go tomorrow night if you want" I scoffed, as if that were possible "What? We could do it. We could be happy together"

Looking into his eyes I wanted to believe him. I wanted to agree, but is that really what I want – to leave my family for him instead. I don't know if I could handle it. Not forever. As it is, it hurts to have Rhaegar gone for so long. He'd been sent by father to fight in some campaign in the South and he'd yet to return. I think his absence is the reason as to why Brendon and I had suddenly grown to be so close over the last month. Eventually though Rhaegar will return home, and I'm not sure what will happen when he does. Leaning up on my tippy toes, I pressed my lips against his. What was I to do?

I could only pray that no one would ever discover our tragic secret.

* * *

Sitting down at the dinner table, I ate the slice of beef I had cut from my plate. For the rest of the day I couldn't stop thinking about Brendon – how his hands felt on my body and how he looked at me as if I were his everything. I wish it would stay that way forever.

Staring at the empty seat in front of me, my mother had called my name "Rhaella, you seem rather happy. Did something happen?" it took me a moment to respond as I slipped from my daydream.

"I had a good day that's all. We played chase and had lunch in the garden" I replied with a smile on my lips. Looking into my mother's deep eyes, her hair was just like mine; long and silvery white. A hereditary trait of the Targaryen family. Sitting in the seat just beside me, her left hand rested on the swollen expanse of her stomach and I gleamed at the site.

A few months ago we had received news that my mother had once again fallen pregnant. We, and especially my father, were more than ecstatic to find out. Although there was a gloomy shadow that followed close behind the joy. Unfortunately after the birth of my brother Rhaegar, our mother was unable to conceive another that wasn't stillborn. It had taken many tries and heartaches until I was born, but when I _was_ brought into this world, I was told the celebration lasted a month.

"You're going to be a woman soon" grumbled my father as he sat at the head of the table; his hair wispy under his heavy crown and his skin blemished with age spots. My father was far from the man he once was "You should act like it. Playing those childish games of yours is a waste of time. You should be focusing on your studies and etiquette"

"She's only a child" defended mother with a slight scolding tone "Let her play"

Father faced my mother with a sour look "She's not just _any_ girl out on those shit filled streets" he said with a low tone "She's _my_ daughter and the future Queen…do you want her to rule with dignity or prance around like a fool?" looking away at his harsh words, I stared down at my food.

My father is _far_ from kind.

For as long as I've lived I've never known him to be anything _but_ the cruel and controlling man that he is today, and as much as I tried to ignore it, his words always managed to hit a sore part of my heart – like a searing dagger.

"I _said_ leave her be" snapped mother. I wanted to smile but he'd see. I found it somewhat funny at times. Men thrice her size would cower at the presence of Aegon: The Mad King, but not her. She held the fire in her blood and she used it, no matter who it was directed towards. I've wished many times that I could be like her – fierce and enduring, but unfortunately I was no such thing.

Father bit into a chicken leg with a tear of its flesh and I grimaced at the way he ate "We should thank the Gods your brother has a sense to follow my instruction – to learn. To do more than just play in the dirt. If he was as stubborn as you are, we'd all be doomed" he grumbled as he dropped the chicken leg.

Glancing over to the empty seat beside my fathers and across mothers, a sadness had washed over. I missed his so much. Beside my mother, he's all I've ever had. The only other person who knew what it was like to live under the scornful ways of my father. Not saying a word, I continued to eat my meal in a dull quietness. When I had finished and I could no longer stomach my father's crass muttering, I swiftly got up from my seat with a drag of my chair.

"Please excuse me" I said before turning and leaving the dining room.

Striding down the hallway I ignored the curious glances from passing nobles before entering my room and closing the door behind me with a thud. Leaning against the wood, I sighed at the solitary freedom of my room. Gasping, a knock had sounded from the door a few minutes later and the familiar voice of Septa Agatha called out "My lady, are you alright?" she was both my tutor and handmaiden.

Mother must have sent her to make sure I was alright "I'm fine" I replied while opening the door. Standing in her usual pale blue and grey clothing, her entire body was covered except for her aged face "I just needed some time to be alone"

There was a hesitant pause before Septa replied "I see…" she was well aware of the _strained_ relationship between me and my father "…I filled the bath while you were at dinner. If there's nothing else you'd like me to do my lady, I'll leave you in peace for the night if it pleases you" I gave her a smile.

"Thank you Septa, that would be much appreciated" nodding her head, I closed the door and turned around.

Heading over to large tiled room, I walked through the small archway and was met with the hexagon shaped bath; a somewhat thick layer of steam coming off of the water's surface to cloud the room. Glancing around, I slowly started to take off my clothes one piece at a time. Feeling my dress slide down the length of my body to pool onto the ground, I unlaced my corset and took of my shoes and stockings.

Walking over I stepped in one foot at a time, not caring that the water was scalding hot; it never hurt me like it would a 'normal' person. It was like that way with all of my family. When I had first discovered it and asked, mother said it was because we Targaryen's have dragon blood running through our veins. That, like a true dragon, fire could not hurt us. I believed it – even though I'd never seen a real dragon, just the bones they'd left behind.

Settling down in the milky white water, I curled my legs up to my chest as I closed my eyes; the steam and water caressing my skin lulling me into calm state of mind. When I was little, I remember my mother used to sing me an old song from the place of Summerhall; before it was destroyed by the great fire. Humming the same familiar tune, I combed my fingers through my hair and over my gentle skin.

Drifting off into thought, my head rested in my knees as one arm wrapped around my legs and the other played with the water around me. Sitting in the bathtub, I wasn't quite sure why a wave of sadness had suddenly washed over me. Perhaps it was because of many things but as I started to think about it all, the loom of sadness made me deaf to the person standing at the entrance of the bathroom.

"You still remember the song…" gasping, my head snapped up to see a man I wasn't at all expecting standing right in front of me – Rhaegar. Pausing, I felt as if time has slowed down. Was this really happening? Is he really here, right in front of me? I couldn't believe it, but as I looked up and down as he stood dressed in his black clothing with not a mark on his flesh – time had caught up with me again.

"You're here…" my voice was barely a whisper. I was still so shocked. There was no warning for his arrival or letter from a raven. It's like he just appeared out of nowhere – but I'm glad, because it means that he's safe "When did you arrive?"

"An hour ago" and nobody told me I thought with a frown "I wanted to surprise you" he added.

Feeling my throat tighten, I swallowed "I was worried…you were gone for so long. I didn't know if something had happened to you" still sitting in the bathtub with my knees curled upwards I watched made his way over to me. Crouching down beside the bath, I wasn't at all worried that Rhaegar might see me. It didn't matter. It felt good to have him right beside me again, the warm of his body hotter and more comforting that that of the steaming water and Brendon's arms.

"I know" he replied while running the back of his finger over my cheek in a single caress "But you don't have to worry about that anymore…I'm home" closing my eyes, I savoured his touch and the sound of his voice.

Grabbing Rhaegar's hand I kissed the back as I clung to his arm. I didn't want him to ever leave me again. Breathing in his familiar and intoxicating scent, I want to be just like – right by side.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I'm a little slow with updating but here's the new chapter. If any of you guys have some ideas at all, please review or PM. I'm a bit stuck on what to write so just shout out what you want me to do (even if it's smut). I am mostly writing this for YOU guys. As always thanks for reading and let me know what you think :) Oh and sorry to have to make you go back, but I've re-written the first chapter. A few people requested that I change the fact Rhaella's not a virgin, so I have and I also changed the ending as well. I thought it was weird o.O**

An open spaced room with a few large windows, the room is decorated with a few maps and there were a couple of book shelves with scrolls lining the walls. A quiet place, this is where I would study for a few hours a day with Septa. Sitting at a large wooden desk, she pointed with her finger to several locations on the map of Westeros she had rolled out. It was rather simple, I'm supposed to tell her the name of the house that occupied the area as well as their house words.

Pointing down up to the Riverland's, this one was easy "House Tully. Their words are family, duty, honour" I answered.

"Good" she replied with a nod. Pointing to another, my focus was placed to the South.

"House Martell. Their words are unbowed, unbent, unbroken" sighing, it had been a few days since Rhaegar had returned and I was still trying to decide on my feelings. But a rather odd thought had suddenly popped up into my mind "Septa…" I was hesitant, but she waited "What would happen if I weren't here?"

She gave me a confused look like I knew she would "I don't understand. What do you mean _not here_?" looking back at the map, my eyes lingered on the cursive writing that spelt 'Dorne'.

"What I mean to say is, if I were never born or if I died – what would happen?" I sighed "I know it's an odd question, but I'm curious. Mother had so many stillborns and they said it was a miracle I was conceived…but what if I hadn't? What if I wasn't here?"

Septa looked at me a second longer before answering "Well, if you weren't born or if you were to die…your brother would be left without a wife. And, I assume he'd have to marry into one of the other great houses…most likely the Martell's"

"The Martell's? Why them?" I asked with a tilt of my head as I turned to face her.

"I suppose it's the best match in terms of blood" she said with a nod of her head before explaining further "A few generations ago, the Targaryen's and Martell's joined houses when Daenerys married Maron Martell instead of her brother Darion"

Feeling my throat tighten, I tried to push back the feeling in my stomach. Is that what's happening now? Am I repeating history by falling for Brendon? "Why didn't they marry each other, like they were supposed to?"

She shrugged "I'm not quite sure as to why. Perhaps it was because they loved another" pausing, Septa had a look as if she were contemplating on whether or not to say it "…contrary to popular belief, you don't have to marry your brother if you don't wish to. It's simply a…tradition"

I know many of the people didn't agree with the ways of my family – that we were meant to wed within our own, but it was something I had been brought up with. If it weren't for it, I wouldn't be here and neither would my brother. I realise it's a touchy subject because of its taboo nature, which is why I understand if Septa doesn't particularly agree "I know it's hardly a secret. We've done it for generations to keep our blood lines pure, but…it isn't just that – I've been promised"

Since the second I was born I was supposed to be Rhaegars, and I guess that made it more difficult for me to make my decision. If we'd had another sister, it would've of been easier. I wouldn't have to marry him. I could be with Brendon just like he wanted.

"I know…" she gave me a ghost of a smile "I suppose what I'm trying to say is, follow your heart. Do what you think is right, regardless of who you've been promised to" turning to look back at the map, I frowned. How am I supposed to follow my heart when it's being torn between two very different people?

* * *

Walking down the hallway I was heading for one of the many court yards in the Keep when a sudden flurry of footsteps rushed up from behind me. Linking my arms with hers, I turned to look at Penny as she had a rather large smile on her face "And what are you smiling about?" I asked with a squint of my eyes.

"I'm smiling because your about to turn sixteen in three days" she gleamed with a shrug of her shoulders "Just think about all the high lords and ladies gathering to celebrate your name day. They'll spare no expense, with more music and food that all the Capitol can muster. It's going to be so grand!"

"Somehow I have a tingling suspicion that you're only happy because of all the young boys that will be attending. Am I right?" I asked with a smirk on my lips. Penny could be so transparent some times. She always had her sites out for the most beautiful boy she could get her hands on, but unfortunately for Penny, her family were looking for just more than looks.

"But there not silly little boys anymore. They don't have chubby cheeks or missing teeth, the ones I'll be longing at will be men… _real_ men" she confirmed with a giggle "with strong muscles and a jawline like a god" I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Well, you can look as long as you like. It's your parents who'll have the final say, so I wouldn't get too caught up in their flattering words and dazzling looks"

Penny sighed in agreement "I know, I know. If he had a higher standing I would've been married to that handsome brunette from the North. Oh he was so beautiful! I envy the girl that marries him" she groaned "could you just imagine…all of that, ravishing you – "

"That's _more_ than I need to hear" I quickly interrupted. I didn't want her going into any more detail like she's done countless times in the past. Even just the mere mention of the subject made me flush a cherry red. It was terrible really and I found that the older I became, the more frequent I'd hear about it. For instance some of the younger woman here in the Keep, whether they be servants or ladies, would talk; sharing their no doubt stomach tingling experiences. So really it was no wonder Penny knew all about it.

"Oh come on. You're going to have to stop blushing about it sooner or later. Why not talk about it now? Wouldn't you like to know what happens _before_ it happens?" I sighed. When I think about it Penny is right, but still, it's rather awkward for me.

"No, I think I'll just find out myself when the times arrives. It'll be better that way" I said with a nod of my head "Natural…"

"If you say so…" walking through the archway door and out into the open court yard, there were a few servants maintaining the gardens as we walked along the dirt pathway. Breathing in the fresh air, it was a relatively nice day today with no signs of miserable rain "Now, back to your birthday. What are the plans?"

"Father said there's going to be a tourney and a feast afterwards. All the high lords and ladies are invited of course…it's going to be quite large by the sounds of it"

"And so it should be. It marks you coming of age and it'll be good for you to meet all the important people. They are going to be under your ruling when you become Queen" she replied.

Walking along the pathway we were suddenly stopped as a middle aged woman stepped out with a smile on her face. Holding out a vibrant purple looking flower with exotic leafs, she gestured "For you your grace. There in season"

Smiling, I accepted it "Thank you. It's beautiful" nodding her head the woman turned back to the bush she was pruning and we continued along.

"See, you're going to be a great Queen. Everyone here loves and adores you" said Penny. I however was no so sure "You have to agree. You're smart, kind and you're beautiful in your own right. I don't think they could ask for more" she tried to reason and I thanked her for it.

"I know, but I don't think I'll ever be ready…to have that much power and responsibility resting on my shoulders. I'm trying not to worry about it too much but father's not getting any younger, and if he were to die any time soon. Rhaegars old enough to rule"

"Don't be worried Rhaella. Everything will be alright. Your brother, he's intelligent and good with the people. He'll be a great King I'm sure" nodding, Penny didn't understand what I was really trying to say but I nodded any way. After all, the real reason as to why I was so afraid was not for me to be speaking about so freely, so I'll keep it to myself – even if Penny is my closest friend.

Making our way back into the castle halls, Penny had departed for the evening and I found myself passing the council chambers. Hearing muffled voices, I looked around but found no one. It couldn't hurt to have a quick listen. Feeling my heart beat beneath my chest at the small act of defiance, I pressed my ear softy against the wooden door. Their voices were much clearer now.

" – they realised they were outnumbered and pulled back their forces" it was Rhaegar. They must be talking about the campaign in the South "We won many of the battles with a manageable amount of casualties, but this won't be the last we see of them"

"We'll send reinforcement. They'll be there in a week if they leave now, we can only hope they'll hold off on attack until then" spoke another man. Pressing my ear firmer against the door, I felt my heart sink as he spoke up again "Perhaps you should return to help co-ordinate the fight your grace. We'll have much more success with your expertise in play..."

Feeling my heart sink at the man's suggestion, I wanted to barrel my way through the door and demand that he take it back. Rhaegar only just returned and this man wanted to send him away again. I won't have it. He won't be going anywhere. Not if I have any say in it. Becoming too caught up in my own thoughts, I almost fell through the doorway when someone on the other side opened it in order to leave.

Stumbling a step inward, I caught myself and immediately I felt their boring eyes. Blushing as I stood shameful of my actions, I turned my eyes to stare down at the stone floor. Hearing movement, all the council members started to leave the chamber until it was just me and Rhaegar "Listening in on private conversations isn't lady like, nor polite" he spoke firmly once they were gone.

"I know, and I'm sorry" I replied loud enough so that he could hear. Taking a glance up, Rhaegar stood a few steps in front of me with his arms crossed as he looked down at me.

"What did you hear?"

Not being able to keep it in anymore, I looked straight into his eyes "I don't want you to leave"

Uncrossing his arms he sighed "Rhaella – "

I cut him off with a shake of my head "They can't take you away again. It's nearly my birthday and I want you here, not there… _fighting_ " I said with an almost whine in my voice "I feel as if that's all you ever do now is fight those stupid battles"

"I do it to protect the people" he replied.

"But what about me?" I asked "Do you ever think about me while you're off _protecting the people_? Do you know how worried I get when you're gone? How sad I am" I could feel the sting of tears form behind my eyes as I continued to let my emotions pour out along with my words "It hurts…to think that maybe you won't come back – "

Making his way over to me, Rhaegar pulled me into his warm arms. Holding onto him tight, my cheek pressed against his chest and I tried to muffle my small sobs as I listened to his heartbeat "I'll always come back. I'd never leave you"

"Then don't go. Promise me" falling still and silent, I could tell he was thinking.

"Okay" he said after a few more seconds, and then giving me a gentle squeeze "I promise I won't go…but you have to promise me something as well" I nodded my head for him to continue "No more listening in on other people's conversations…and no more crying" pulling away from me, I looked up before Rhaegar wiped the tears from under my eyes.

"Okay. I promise" I said with small sniffle.

"Good, now I have something to give you" my mood changed at the notion.

"A present?" unwrapping my arms from around his waist, Rhaegar held out a small velvet pouch. Taking it, I opened it up to tip the contents out onto my palm. Looking at it, I found the object to be a necklace. A silver chain, it held a medium sizes blood red stone. Smiling, the jewel was so memorizing I wanted to look at it forever. I'd never seen anything so rich and deep in colour "Where did you get it?"

"From Dorne. I visited the city before coming home. I thought you might like it"

"I love it" I replied with another big smile "Thank you...but why did you give it to me now? You could have made it a birthday present" that way he didn't have to get me something else for the day.

"Don't worry. I already have something for the big occasion. This is just a small gift from me to you" reaching out, Rhaegars hand brushed against my cheek before touching a lock of my silver hair. Leaning into his touch, I kissed the inside of his wrist before looking up at him. He was frowning.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he replied with a small puff "You're just growing up"

"I'm only turning sixteen…I'm not that old" I teased trying to lighten to mood that had suddenly gone low, but I don't think it worked.

Pressing a kiss to my forehead he nodded to the door "Go on…I still have a bit of work to do" looking at him, I didn't argue as I made my way out of the council chambers. Closing the door behind me, I looked down at the necklace in my hands before I clipped it around my neck. Resting at the perfect length on my chest, the metal that surrounded the jewel was cold against my skin.

Wandering around the castle in an aimless fashion, I wasn't sure what to do with my free time and I still have a few hours left before dinner. Heading out into the main open courtyard of the Keep, I crossed through a small tunnel like archway that lead into the Godswood. A vast area filled with tree's, it spanned a little under a mile each way and the area often became one of solitude for me and many others.

Wandering across the grassy area and by the small ponds here and there, I had eventually made my way to the very centre where the Weirwood tree stood; its bark a pale white shade and its leaves a light red. Following along the top branches, my eyes lowered further down until it landed on the crying face that had been carved into the trunk. I sighed.

It's so quiet here. I hadn't seen anyone since I walked in. Kneeling down, I sat by the grand tree and closed my eyes. I prayed for an answer. That the Gods would be kind enough to give me at least a small sign as to what to do. I'm so lost.

Jumping as a pair of hands suddenly rested themselves on my shoulders, I quickly stood up to turn around. Holding his hands up in mock surrender, Brendon had a small smirk on the corner of his lips "What are you doing?" I said looking him up and down with a huff "You need to stop sneaking up on me"

Instead of answering, his chocolate eyes landed on my chest with a slight frown "Who gave you that?" he asked with a gesture to the necklace.

I looked down at the blood red jewel "My brother" I replied but quickly changed the subject "Now what do you want, since you scared me half to death"

Taking a step forward Brendon took my hands in his as he made small soothing motions with his thumb "I just wanted to see you…I miss your company" looking away, I had been somewhat avoiding Brendon since Rhaegar returned home. I needed some time to myself and to think. But it seems even when I go to the Godswood I'm still disturbed, and by him of all people "I know that look. What's wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be alone Brendon" slipping my hands from his, I proceeded to walk past him. Making it ten paces, I realised that he was following me and I spun around "What do you want?" I snapped lowly.

"I want you to tell me what's wrong" he said as if it were obvious, while coming to stand right in front of me again "I know somethings not right…you've been avoiding me ever since he came back. Did he say something to you?" I could tell by the tone in Brendon's voice that he was getting defensive.

"No, he didn't tell me anything" I replied "I said it before – I just want to be by myself for a little while so that I can think"

"About what?" he crossed his arms. What is it about men and crossing their arms? "To think about us?" he asked with a somewhat narrowed look.

"Yes to think about us" I hissed lowly. If he's going to get so _vicious_ about it then so am I. Looking around, there was no one in sight but I still didn't want to take the chance of anyone overhearing our conversation. Grabbing Brendon's arm, I pulled him behind one of the thick trees nearby so that we at least have a little cover "Things are changing now and we both have to realise it" I tried to explain "We can't be seen like this anymore"

"And why not? Why can't we be together like we _both_ want? What's the harm?" he scowled "Why does it have to be so difficult when all you have to do it choose, and we could be far away" he said with a gesture of his arms "We could live a happy peaceful life. We wouldn't have to worry about anything but ourselves"

"And how far do you think we would get?" I asked with a serious tone "We can't just ride off into the night and think that they won't come chasing after us…it's not how it works Brendon. Not for me. As soon as we're caught they'd accuse you of kidnapping, and they'd throw you in the cellars or worse"

"So you'd rather stay here and do what they want. Marry your brother. Have his kids. Is that what you want?"

"I don't know" I almost yelled. Why did he have to be this frustrating? Why couldn't he understand how hard this is for me? How many things weighed in the balance? "I don't know what I want Brendon, not right now"

"But I do…" he replied, his voice changing from its previous angry tone "I know what I want Rhaella, and she's right in front of me" reaching out, his hands rested on the sides of my face and I sighed at his gentle touch. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I leant up to press my lips against his. Holding me in his arms, he pulled me flush against his body and we stayed like that – kissing, until we ran out of breathe.

Pulling away, I hugged him for a little while longer "I just need time…"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Late update I know, but I know you'll all forgive me because it's super long. Cheers for the reviews on last chapter, much appreciated. As always I hope you enjoy and if you have idea's on what you might want to read next or you have a question, just review or PM :)**

Lying on a patch of grass in the Royal Garden, it was well into the night as I starred up at the stars. Speckling the sky, they were like glinting diamonds in a dark abyss. Beautiful but so far away. An occasional thing, me and Brandon would sometimes sneak out so that we could spend time together, just the two of us. In moment's like this it's peaceful and cool, and we could talk to each other without the added fear of someone overhearing.

"Are you nervous?" asked Brendon as he laid beside me, his hands clasped behind his head.

"Of course I am…there's so many people" I replied with a shaky breath. Already, a various amount of guests had started to arrive for my birthday celebration as its tomorrow, and I dreaded having to socialise "They'll all be expecting the very best of me…and I don't exactly know what that is"

"You'll be fine…just be yourself"

I snickered "That's easy for you to say. If I do or say one little thing they don't like, then that's it. No more seconds chances. They'll think nothing of me" grimacing, I could just imagine their snotty faces staring at me for every waking second. I could already feel their judgement drilling itself into my brain, telling me I'm no good. That I'm a sad and weak little thing who's only real hope in making it in this world is due to the blood running through my veins.

"Don't think like that. You're more than anyone could ever ask for, and who cares if they don't like you. They don't have to" he replied while still staring up at the starry light above us, the half-moon not far away; creating a pale glow of light.

"It's rather difficult being Queen when the people that _matter_ , hate you"

"But they won't…" he quickly interjected "It's impossible to hate you Rhaella" turning to face me, I tilted my head to look at him. Brendon stared at me with the same intensity he had while we were all in the gardens. Even with the little light, I could still see his brown doe eyes roaming over my face to land on my lips. I could see the bob in his throat as he swallowed.

Watching as he stared, I slowly leant in until my lips touched his. Feeling a blush rise to my cheeks and a warmth start in my belly, the kiss became more passionate by the second as Brendon pulled me closer. Yelping in surprise, he had wrapped his arms around my waist to tug me on top of him. With my mind off in another world, I didn't mind the new position as the heat of our bodies mingled with the cool air that flowed through the trees.

Continuing to kiss for minutes on end, my breaths were laboured and I moaned as Brendon grounded his hips up into mine. Caressing, his hands found their way under my dress to run up and down the smooth expanse of my thighs. Shuddering as my skin tingled from the ticklish sensation, I wasn't all too worried about his hand until I felt his fingers brush against my private area. Suddenly, as if cold water had suddenly been thrown onto me, I grabbed his hands and pulled away from the kiss.

"No" I said firmly while looking down into his eyes.

"Why not?" his chest slightly heaved as he frowned.

"Because they'll know if I do" I shook my head "I can't…" getting off of him, I stood and brushed myself off. It wasn't the first time we had touched to the point of getting carried away, but I still stopped when it got too far. I'd never let _that_ happen, not until the time was right and it was meant to be – but that moment isn't now.

Straightening my dress, Brendon had also stood up "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you" he tried to apologise.

"It's getting late" I stated, ignoring his words "I should be getting back to bed…goodnight" turning away I didn't give him a quick kiss like I normally would, I just kept walking until I found my way back to my room.

I'm glad he didn't try to follow me this time.

* * *

Tossing and turning during the night, the morning sun had risen seemingly slower than ever before. But eventually it was time to get ready and face the no doubt exhausting day ahead. I'm just hoping nothing awful will happen and everyone, including myself, can have an enjoyable time while celebrating.

Wearing one of my more elegant dresses, Penny walked beside me with her arm entwined with mine as we followed the path with a few other nobles. Finished with lunch a couple of hours ago, we were currently making our way towards the jousting arena. With a few Targaryen flags flapping high in the wind, a crowd of seated people had formed on either side of the long jousting runway. Bickering and betting amongst each other, I could tell they were all eagerly awaiting for the games to begin.

I on the other hand am more scared than excited. Jousting tournaments aren't always the nicest things to watch when things go wrong, and with the knowledge that Rhaegar would be competing – I'm a little nervous. Peering straight down the middle toward the opposite end of the runway, I could see there were a few horses tied up along a post and a handful of knights stood just outside a large tent; already dressed in their expensive armour. Despite the fair distance I tried to find the familiar head of hair, but found nothing. He must be inside.

Heading up the stair angled seats, I took my place beside mother while Penny sat a step below me with a few other girls. Waiting until everyone was situated, the trumpets sounded before a round bellied man with a thinly curled moustache made his way onto the sandy ground of the runway "Your graces" he bowed to us before gesturing to the others "Lords and ladies. Please allow me to announce the commencement of today's entertainment in celebration of Princess Rhaella"

Clapping, the crowd slowly died down so that the round man could continue "First match, we have Lord Ryle of house Umber versus Lord Merit of house Dayne!" he announced with a deep voice as the crowd cheered. Heading off of the runway I watched as two knights positioned themselves at either end.

Pushing down their face shields, they held the heavy lances and waited for the green flag to be waved before charging ahead at full speed. Watching as the horses hooves kicked up dirt and the men became increasingly closer to each other, a loud crash sounded out with the splintering of wood as they collided. Feeling my heart begin to race, Lord Ryle had dismounted his opponent with a single blow; leaving Lord Merit practically kissing the sand beneath his unmoving body.

Fearing for the man's safety, I was relieved once they had turned him over to see he was awake and just shook from impact. Carting him away on a stretcher, the matches continued. Each one both nerve raking and exciting. But that was until I saw him, and the whole world had seemingly stopped – at least for me.

Sitting atop his towering beast of a horse, Rhaegars armour was as black as his stallion; the three headed dragon of our house carved into its breastplate. Watching as he gripped the lance, my breath hitched at the site of him, as did a few of the others around me.

"Sir Byorn of Tallheart versus our Prince, Rhaegar of house Targaryen!" boomed the stout man, but despite his loud voice it was if the man's words were a distance echo. All my attention was instead focused on my brother and before I knew it, the flag had been waved and they had taken off. Hearing the powering thud of the horse's hooves along the sand, they both reached the middle with a thunderous crash.

Sitting on the edge of my seat, I let out a relieved breath that it wasn't Rhaegar who was hit. Leaning with anticipation as I watched the rest of the match, it had ended quicker than I thought – with my brother being announced victor. Sitting back in my seat, I applauded along with the rest of the nobles. I was relieved and glad, and as I continued to watch the rest of the tournament, the sun had moved along in the sky above and the knights fell with as much honour as they could.

Soon it was time.

Time for the last match that would announce the winner of today's tourney. Watching the last two knights' halt at either end of the runway, Lord Warrick of Tyrell had been positioned on the left; dressed in his glinting armour etched with vines. While my brother, the silver prince, waited ready on the right; his black horse and armour almost presenting as a dark shadow.

A menacing shadow.

Feeling the touch of skin from my right, mother had reached out her hand to take mine. I hadn't realised I was squeezing the sides of my seat so tightly "You're worried" she stated, barely above a whisper so the others wouldn't hear.

"I am" there's no point in hiding it.

"Don't be" the thin servant walked out onto the runway holding the green flag paused, and then he waved it "No one has ever defeated him" spoke mother, referring to Rhaegar as he now charged. Watching as the tip of his black lance splintered upon impact of Lord Tyrells chest, the man had been dismounted off of his horse with the vicious blow "And no one ever will"

Listening to the crowd erupt in applause, a few servants went to aid Lord Tyrell as he wiggled on the ground in obvious pain, but my sites were quickly diverted. Dropping the broken lance, Rhaegar took off his helmet and his silvery white hair fell into place; the small plait dangling just over his shoulder. Hearing a few hushed whispers, girls awed at his handsomeness and men at his talent.

Coming out onto the runway, the round bellied man spoke "It is my pleasure to announce Prince Rhaegar Targaryen, victor of today's tournament! And if you will…" holding out a small box he opened the lid back "Your reward, your grace" looking at it, Rhaegar gave a small smile before nodding his head.

"Give it to my sister, in honour of her name day" he said while looking at me. Watching several people hand it over, Penny eventually held it out for me and I took it. Opening the box, I peeked inside to see it was a small dragon statue made out of gold.

Smiling in gratitude, Rhaegar then departed back to the large tent. With the sun starting to set in the sky, everyone would be able to go back to their quarters and rest for a little while before the big feast tonight. Watching my mother and father get up, I followed behind them as other nobles also started to leave.

Walking up the pathway, we made it all the way back to the Keep and I headed straight for my room. Sighing as I closed the door behind me, I looked around at all the gifts that had been brought up. There were so many and I didn't know what to do with them all. Rubbing the back of my neck, I felt the chain of my necklace graze against my skin and my fingers trailed down before landing on the blood red pendant. I always wore it, no matter where I went or what I did. I never wanted to take it off in fear of losing it.

Looking down at the box in my other hand, I walked over to the small table before placing it down and opening the lid. Watching as the dragon statue glinted, I took it out and looked it all over. There were scales, wings, a tail and its eyes were fierce looking. Jolting a knock tapped at the door "Who is it?" I called out while looking over my shoulder. Opening up, Rhaegar stepped in and closed the door.

"Just me…" turning back around, I gave one more glance at the golden dragon before placing it back inside the box. Clipping the lid into place, I felt a slight shift in warmth from behind me "Do you like it?" he asked from behind.

I nodded "Of course I do. It's beautiful…but you didn't have to give it to me. It was yours to keep"

"Another gift?" he questioned and I chuckled before gesturing.

"I have so many already" turning around I went to go show him something, but before I could get three steps he had grabbed my hand to tug me back. I frowned as I looked up at him "What's wrong?" not replying, he continued to stare as if he were trying to see right through me. Wedged back between the table and Rhaegars body, his thumb ran along my cheek before he bent down to press his lips against mine.

It all happened too fast and I wasn't expecting it. He's never done this before. Placing my hands on his chest, I wasn't quite sure how to react so my lips were unmoving. Trying to lean away, Rhaegars hands instantly cupped my blushing cheeks to hold me still. Trying again, his lips moved and I was slow to become receptive, but soon I was kissing back as best I could. His mouth was warm and wet – incredibly inviting, and the feeling he stirred inside my belly almost made me moan.

Pressing his body into mine, my backside dug into the edge of the table. He'd never touched me like he is now. Moving his hands from my cheeks they brushed along my arms before venturing further down along my waist. Hearing him push away items on the table, I gasped when his hands hooked under my thighs before setting me down on the wooden surface. Pulling away from the kiss, Rhaegar looked down at me with his deep eyes as his chest panted.

Glancing up at him, my already rosy cheeks became hotter under his gaze. Wiping the saliva from my lips I didn't know what to say or do and Rhaegar wasn't speaking. Sitting with my legs wedged open, he stood right in-between; the palm of his hands planted on either side of me. A twisting and aching feeling gnawed at my stomach. Leaning in I thought he might kiss me again but his lips pressed at my forehead in a light peck before wandering down to do the same to my cheek.

My breath hitched and my eyes fluttered. Staring at the double wooden door over his shoulder in front of me, Rhaegars mouth speckled my face with little pecks before I turned and kissed him before he could do it again. Wedging a finger into the gap between two of his vest clips, I tugged so that he'd come closer – and he did. His groin pressing into mine, sending small tingles of pleasure into my belly.

I didn't know why I did it. Why I wanted more. I'd never done anything like this before, but somehow I could _feel_ what to do – it was like extinct I suppose. The only thing that really confused me was why I would push Brendon away and not Rhaegar. Is this the sign? Does this mean I want him more, or is this all wrong? Is this just a test of self-control? I didn't know but if it was, than I'm failing – terribly.

Brendon never made me feel like this.

With his hands still on my waist, they rubbed and gripped with a certain gentleness. Acting on my pleasure drunken state, my hips grounded against his. And straight after, Rhaegar pulled away quicker than I could comprehend. Why did he suddenly stop? Did I do something wrong?

"Careful…" he said while looking straight at me, and I lowered my head in embarrassment. Letting out a gentle sigh at my actions, Rhaegar brushed away a strand of my hair while glancing over my features "Are you enjoying yourself?" normally I would of thought he was talking about my birthday celebration, but I wasn't so sure after all of _this_. Sensing my train of thought he added "Your birthday"

I nodded "Yes" my voice was squeaky for some reason and I cleared my throat "It's better than I thought it would be" glancing into his eyes, I watched as they gave a knowing squint at my reply.

"Good" he simply replied after a moment. Standing straight up he took a step back and adjusted his shirt with a quick tug. With room to move, I slowly slid off of the table and fixed my own dishelmed clothing. Still glancing to the ground, I was now too shy to look at him – any of him. The little confidence I had before was now gone along with the tingling in my stomach "Rest for a while. I'll see you again at dinner" kissing my forehead like he usually does, Rhaegar departed without another word and I was left alone in my room – flustered and confused.

It had all ended as quickly as it had started.

* * *

Resting by the fireplace in my room, I read a few chapter of my book before changing into another dress and getting ready for the feast. Already a waft of roasted meats and wine flowed through from my balcony and my mouth watered at the delicious scent. I couldn't wait. Turning at the sound of knocking, it was light and quick "You can come in" I called out.

I knew who it was.

Bounding in with a large smile on her face, Penny made her way over to me "You look beautiful!" she gleamed while looking me up and down "Now" she said while taking my arm "Are you ready?" I looked myself over in the mirror.

Taking a deep breath in, I nodded with a smile "Let's go"

Making our way down the hallways and out onto the main courtyard of the Keep, we crossed over to the great hall where two Kingsguard stood beside the large door. Following behind many of the nobles as they too made their way inside, Penny and I stepped off to the side once we were in past the door "Make no mistake, you'll be dancing tonight" she teased "I'll be back when the music starts"

Walking off, Penny found her own seat beside her family while I stepped up onto the raised platform of the head table; the place where royalty and council members sat. Heading toward the middle, I took my seat in the second empty chair from my father's left. Rhaegars not here yet. I wonder where he could be.

Pushing the thought to the back of my mind, the servants had started to come out by the dozen; each holding trays of food and placing them in the middle. Scanning my eyes over the various foods as they were placed down, a small smirk tugged at the corner of my lips when I found the sweets; freshly baked tarts and handmade chocolates. Drawn from my almost salivating moment, the empty chair between me and father had been pulled out and Rhaegar had sat down.

My back instantly went straighter at his presence and I could feel a small amount of warmth flow up to my cheeks. I tried hard to supress it. The last thing I needed was someone asking me why I was so red. How embarrassing. So instead I focused my attention on the food instead of the man sitting next to me, but it was rather hard. I couldn't help but remember the ghost feeling of his lips against mine. The way his hands felt.

Reaching for a few things here and there from the serving trays, everyone started to eat and I occasionally listened in on the conversation on my left between two council members. They were talking about politics and personal accounts, rather boring. Turning my eyes back to the sea of people sitting below us in neat rows, they were all gossiping; the entire hall filled with their echoing voices.

Finding the familiar face of Penny, she had moved from her previous position by her parents in order to sit by a young looking man with short blond hair. I think I knew him, Jaime Lannister, the golden lion. From here I could see she was smiling, nodding her head and twirling a strand of her mousy brown hair. I suppose the Lannister was handsome in his own way, and his family is certainly rich.

Picking at my food and the few sweet treats I had gathered, the sudden sound of violin's and cello's had begun to play down at the far end; where a medium sized space had been left for those that wanted to dance. Smiling, I wished that the Lannister boy would keep Penny distracted so that she doesn't drag me over to dance. It wasn't that I couldn't, I've just never liked it. I'm always hot afterwards and sometimes I'd get a partner that had two left feet.

But despite my small little prayer for mercy, Rhaegar had stood up from beside me. Looking up to see where he was going, he reached down and took my hand "Dance with me" I didn't know if it was supposed to be a question but it didn't sound like it, and I don't think I was being given much of choice either way. Tugging me up from my chair, he walked me in the direction of the dance floor.

Partying through the small crowd of people that had formed around the dancefloor to watch, we stepped right out into the open and got into position; facing each other. Waiting for the next song to begin, I took the time to look up into Rhaegars eyes as they bore down at me. Then the violin started and I pressed the palm of my hand against his as we slowly circled each other, our other hand behind our backs.

Circling three times, the women twirled and I was picked up by my waist and spun around. Resting my hands on Rhaegars shoulders as he did, a flash of memory cross my mind; the way his hands held me so gently, yet firm. Putting me down, the men kneeled as the women looped around. With the deep cello's in the background, the air grew warm, my heart pounded and my lips were parted. Standing back up again, all the steps fell into place with an angelic flow and I found myself getting lost.

Curtsying at the end of the dance, the music faded to clapping as the crowd applauded. Slowly looking up, my chest heaved up and down. Watching the edge of Rhaegars lips pull upwards into a ghost of a smile, he held out his arm and I took it. Leading us back up to our seats, more couples filtered to replace us on the dancefloor.

Relieved that I was now sitting down, I cooled myself down with a glass of water. Taking small sips here and there so that I didn't get sick, a warm hand had rested on my thigh. Looking down at it, I followed the appendage all the way up to see Rhaegar as he watched the dancing. He made it all seem so casual and yet I felt so conflicted inside. I wanted to do something. I wanted to say something. I wanted to return the gesture and yet I couldn't find myself to do so. It frustrated me.

Today had changed more than just my age. I was edging upon the line that crossed from sister to lover, and as enticing as it was to push myself over – a name still remained firmly on my conscience. Brendon. My feelings for him were holding me back. They were whispering in my ear, telling me I still cared for him. That I couldn't just let him go, and yet I hadn't seen him all day long.

Maybe he was avoiding me because of last night's incident.

Sighing, I looked back down at Rhaegars hand; my eyes roaming over the smooth skin. Strong and masculine, his fingers were perfectly sized. Everything about him is so handsome and I was confident that every woman in this room would agree. I never failed to catch their eager glances when they walked by him. How they giggled and blushed behind their hands. Some were even brave enough to try and catch his attention, and it made me wonder if anyone was ever successful.

Thinking about it, I frowned at the notion. That Rhaegar might have been with a woman or women other than me, but then who was I to really hold it against him. He's nearly twenty-two years old, I'd be silly to think he'd wait. Glancing over, he sat taking a drink from a cup of wine. Placing it down, his hand squeezed my thigh before he looked at me "You're staring" he said.

"I'm thinking" leaning over, I rested the side of my head against his arm. The feast had gone for a few hours now "I'm getting tired" feeling my eyes begin to flutter closed, I quickly woke myself up "I think I should retire for the night" I muttered. Getting up from my seat, I could tell a few other nobles had already done the same as the hall was a little less crowded than before. I'm sure the others won't mind, they'll probably party on until the sun rises.

Kissing my mother on the cheek, I said my goodnights before leaving the hall. Feeling the cool breeze against my skin, the night was dark. Following along the courtyard I made my way into the door and halfway down a corridor when someone swooped from behind to pick me up into their arms. Gasping, I squealed before realising who it was – Rhaegar.

"What are you doing?" with the scare he gave me, my heart raced and I was now a little more awake.

"I don't want you walking alone" he replied while I wrapped my arms around his neck to support myself.

With an arm around my back and one under my knees, he continued to carry me and I sighed "I'm only going to bed, and I'm sure I can walk on my own"

"I don't doubt that…" he replied. Ignoring my subtle hint to put me down, I didn't bother arguing with about him. No doubt by the time he agreed we'd have made it to my room anyway and I was still fatigued from today's festivities. I don't have the energy.

With the silence of the air, I glanced at him before speaking "You've changed" he didn't reply "You've never done that before…kissed me. What happened?" I asked with a tilt of my head, curious as to what the answer might be.

"The only one that's changed is you" he replied.

"How so?" I was confused and then somewhat frightened at the same time. Did he somehow know about me and Brendon, or is he talking about something else?

"You grew up" he simply answered. Turning down another corridor, there was no one around and it was a little dark "You should understand, you're not a little girl anymore" he added "Things are going to keep changing from now on"

Squeezing my arms around his neck, I rested my head on his shoulder as a crease formed in my brow. I didn't know what to say as Rhaegar carried on walking with me nestled in his arms. Making it to the familiar doors, he nudged it open before closing them behind him. Gently setting me on my feet, I unwrapped my arms from his neck to have a look around. Septa wasn't here but the candles had been lit for when I returned.

Standing over by the mirror with my back facing the reflection, I looked over my shoulder to try and find where the laces of my dress were tied. Trying to reach up, my fingertips touched the edge of the ribbon but it wasn't enough to grab and I admit – I looked ridiculous in this awkward position. Too busy fiddling, Rhaegar had walked over to spin me around and face the mirror.

Tugging the strings free, he loosened the back before running his hands up over the skin of my shoulders to pull the sleeves down. I didn't stop him. With the top half of my dress falling down around my hips, the flesh coloured corset became exposed. Turning around to face him, we were close together with only an inch of space between us as; his arms circling around to pull at the strings of the corset. Feeling it loosen, it fell down the length of my body and his fingers hooked into the fabric at my hips to tug the rest of my dress and underclothes down to drop on the floor.

Wrapping my arms over my chest, I was conscious of my naked state and shy. Running his fingertips down the length of my spine, I shuddered at the ticklish feeling it left behind. The hairs on my body standing up as my skin prickled with goose-bumps "Thank you" I muttered, trying to slice through the tension and silence in the room.

Running his hand pass the small dimples on my lower back, he stopped before taking a step back and grabbing the nightgown Septa had left folded on the end of the bed "Up" he instructed. I knew he meant my arms, but I was hesitating as they were all that covered my chest from his view. I was blushing again.

I crossed my legs as I looked away, trying to hide it "You don't have to help me. I can do it" I said quietly.

"I know you can" he gestured "Up, or you'll get cold" doing as he says, I slowly unwound my arms and raised them enough for Rhaegar to put the gown over my head. Putting my arms through the holes, the rest just fell down to cover my body.

Brushing his knuckles along my cheek, his thumb gently ran over my bottom lip. Bending down to kiss me on the lips, he tasted sweet and nice but it was quickly over. Turning me around by my shoulders he gave a light nudge "Go on" he said before kissing the top of my head "It's getting late…"

Stepping over, I pulled back the covers of and slipped in. Watching Rhaegar, he blew out the candles on his way to the door. Laying down with my head on the pillow and the blanket tucked up to my neck, the door slowly closed behind him as he left. My eyes closing to let the dreams in.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Another update. Gotta warn you though it's a little dark and intense, but I've gotta get the ball rolling somehow. So let me know what you think and as always if you have any idea's or questions, just leave it in the review box or PM :) Cheers!**

Taking in the precious scents of baked goods and hot pies, Penny walked beside me as we made our way down the paved bricked road. Filled with merchants, nobles and common people all looking for good bargains, it was rather busy today as this was the time the ships docked from overseas; their cargo holds packed with exotic spices, animals and materials.

"Have you tried talking to him?" asked Penny from beside me.

"Of course I've tried, but I can never find him and when I do he walks away from me. I don't know what's going on" I replied with a huff. It's been two weeks since my birthday celebration and I'd yet to hear a single word from Brendon's lips. It was clear that he's avoiding me but for what reason, I have no idea.

"He's a boy" Penny justified "Boy's do stupid things sometimes" I know she was only trying to relieve the situation, but I knew it was something more than that "Maybe he's going through a stage. Give it a few more days, he might come around by then" giving a ghost of a smile, I however, wasn't so sure.

Heading through a narrow alleyway that led onto a neighbouring street, the two Kingsguard walked close behind us as we made our way to the orphanage. Located on the West side of the Capitol, it wasn't the most pleasant of places as it was close to the brothels, but every now and then I'd still visit. I admit though, I have a sympathetic heart when it comes to their 'condition' and I try to help them as much as possible.

"Stay close your grace" instructed Barristan Selmy, one of the guards walking with us "There not very friendly when it comes to royalty"

"I'm sure I'll be fine" I said with encouraging smile "I've been here many times and nothing's happened yet"

"That's what I'm afraid of your grace…" glancing up at him, his cloudy brown eyes were warry as they looked around; several of the people emptying buckets of slime or washing their clothes in dirty tubs. The smell in the air was definitely unpleasant, and I felt sorry for the way these people had to live.

Finding the cement arch entry way of the orphanage, I walked on through and instantly a rush of children ran up to tug and hug at my legs and waist. Not worried about their somewhat dirtied hands, it was only a dress and I'm sure the smudges could be washed out "Look at all of you, you've all grown so much" I said with a wide smile. Walking to the middle of the courtyard, small weeds grew through the cracked pavement below and you could easily tell the buildings is old by the faded look it gave off.

Crouching down, I opened up a satchel that held bits of square chocolate I had bought on my way here. Giving them out one by one, greedy little hands reach from every angle. Watching them savour the delicious coco, I stood up once everyone had a piece. By that time the Septa of the orphanage had approached me and curtsied. A nice old woman, she's devoted many of her years to looking after the children and making sure that there provided for.

"It's a pleasure to see you again your grace" she said with a smile, her hands folded in her lap.

"And it's good to see you" I took a quick look around. I was trying to find a little familiar face, but I hadn't seen any sign of her since I walked in "Lyra, I don't see her. Do you know where she is?" I asked with a tilt of my head. A little girl the age of nine, she has short brown hair and hazel eyes. Her and I have a little history together.

A year ago, I was walking around the markets when I found Lyra trying to steal a wheel of cheese, when the owner caught her red handed. Threatening her with all sorts of nasty things, I quickly paid the man for his troubles and took her to the orphanage. Over time we'd gotten to know one another and since then we've been rather attached.

"She hasn't been herself lately" replied Septa while taking a step forward "She's doesn't like to play with the other children anymore, and she hardly eats at meals times" I frowned, that wasn't like Lyra at all "She's inside if you'd like to see her"

I nodded "I will" turning to face Penny I told them to "Wait here" while I went and made my way inside. Navigating myself around, I found the large room filled with rows of tattered beds. An easy spotting, I could see Lyra was laying on her side; her back facing me "Lyra" she didn't move. Walking close, I stopped at her bed "Lyra, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to be here anymore" she muttered, her voice like a mouse.

I was worried "What do you mean? Did something happen?" sitting just on the edge, she slowly rolled over to hug up against me. Brushing her short hair away, she stared into the distance over my lap.

"The others…they tease me. They pull my hair and call me names. One of the boys spat in my hair the other day" that wasn't really what I was expecting, but then again I wasn't surprised. Teasing is child's play and everyone goes through it at some stage – even me, but that's no excuse. I'm still angered.

"Did you tell Septa?"

She nodded "She said boys tease girls they like" I held back my scoff "And the others won't admit it. They lie and say they didn't do anything – that I fell over by myself"

"I'll talk to her" I said while giving Lyra's small shoulders a comforting squeeze "No one's going to tease you anymore. I promise" holding out the small satchel, I opened it up "Here, I brought you a treat. It's chocolate" looking at it, she dipped her tiny hand inside and took out a small square. Putting the whole thing in her mouth, she sat up and gave me a large squishy smile.

"Thank you" I chuckled at her little round cheeks.

Getting up off the bed, I held my hand out "Come on. You can't stay in here, you'll miss the day" taking my hand, we made our way out to the court yard and Lyra went off to play with the other children. I spoke to Septa "She was being teased. I'd appreciate it if the boys responsible would stop" I was a little firmer in tone than usual, but I hated when things like this happened.

"Of course your grace. I'll see to it" she said with a curt nod.

"Good" I smiled "Then I best be going, it's getting rather late" I said while glancing up at the evening toned sky "I'll visit again in another month" turning, Penny was by my side as we left the orphanage. Walking up along the street, I could smell roast pork and wine mixing in the air with the stale scent of sex from the nearby brothels.

Coming up by a tavern, there were a few benches just outside where drunken men sat with their wine, while giggling half dressed women draped themselves over them. Ignoring it, we minded our own business until a loud yell echoed out "Oi, you fuck…I'm talking to you!" his speech was loud and I stopped to see if they were calling at us. Finding the person, he was average with short black hair and blue eyes.

"Please your grace, ignore him" spoke Selmy "We should go home before it gets too late" he was right. The sun had set and the sky was a pale blue, slowly turning darker as the minutes ticked by. Not having the chance to turn and keep walking, the blue eyed man stood up with a wobble.

"Oh come on. Where you going?" he bellowed with a cackle as he took a dribbled gulp of his wine. What I assumed to be his group of friends at the table all laughed along with him. The man's eyed locked with mine "Why don't you bring your pretty little cunt over here and I'll show you what a real man can do. How bout that?" he said while staggering a few stops over to us.

"Come any closer and you'll die where you stand" threatened Selmy as took a step forward to shield me from the brute.

" _Die where I stand_ , that's a good one" the man chuckled as his friends stood up from their seats. Feeling my heart pound as they gathered, I was definitely frightened of what they might do next. Clutching onto Penny who shook right next to me, the man spoke "Why don't you just pass them over and give us a go, then you can be on your merry little way – I promise I'll be _gentle_ " he grinned at me. It made me want to be sick.

Squeezing Penny's hand as she squeezed mine, I didn't take my eyes off of _him_ in particular "I suggest you all go back to your seats. We'll be taking our leave" hissed Barristan. It was clear he was angry and disgusted, but he tried to act civil in our company.

Upholstering his dagger, the man pointed it at me "There not going anywhere, least of all her. Not until I've finished tearing up that pretty little thing between those legs" he looked over his shoulder at his group of friends "And I'd say you're well outnumbered. But you know what, I'm a decent man. So me and my men will let you live if you turn around now and fuck off…How about that?"

He grinned, as if all of this is funny. A sick joke. Looking at Barristan who stood in front of me, his hand on the hilt of his sword, I knew he wouldn't leave us. I've known him for years, and he'd rather die that let those savages put their hands on us "Your grace…" he was talking to me "…Run…"

Drawing his sword, Selmy and the other Kingsguard stepped forth and before I knew it, swords were clashing and Penny was pulling on my hand to run – and run we did. Keeping my eyes ahead of us, we had enough light to see where we were going. But with the noises of steel and grunts coming from behind us, I foolishly looking over my shoulder. I could see a few men were battling a little way back, but what made my eyes go wide and the air hitch in my throat, were the three men chasing after us – including the one with the icy blue eyes. Ones filled with lust and determination.

I wanted to cry but I forced my tears back. I needed to focus. I needed to run. Get to safety. Where ever that may be "We need to hide" Penny said from beside me, her hand still interlocked with mine. Looking around there weren't many options, but we quickly turned a corner and halfway we found a small storage area filled with barrels and hay "Grab the doors!" shouted Penny.

Doing as she said, we closed the wooden double doors and pressed our weight against it. Hopping they wouldn't get through, the men outside kicked and banged at the door while growling insults "Open the fucking door you bitch!"

With only the two of us managing to keep it closed, they started to ram their bodies against it at the same time. Crashing against one after the other, the force at one point made us stumble enough for them to barrel their way in. Not having a chance to collect myself, a hand instantly swiped out to slap me across the face and I fell to the ground.

Wincing at the sting it left behind, my eyes went watery as someone climbed on top of me. Kicking and screaming, my arms bashed against his chest with as much strength as I could muster, but it barely affected him. In fact it just made him laugh as he pinned me to the ground, those cold eyes grinning down at me in victory "Must be my lucky day" he chuckled "You're even better up close"

"Get off of me!" I screamed.

"That's what they all say in the beginning, but just wait until you get a _load_ of me" he joked. Scratching and swiping at him, he gave an annoyed huff before slapping me again "Sit the fuck still" he growled. Closing my eyes, I continued to struggle as he wandered his hands down my body – but then it stopped.

A warm wet spray splashed along my neck and chest, and my eyes instantly snapped open to see the point of a sword pierced through the man's chest. Watching him let out a shaky breath he slowly slump to the side, and Barristan Selmy withdrew his sword. I was left speechless as he stood before me. He was here. Feeling the dead man's blood soak through my clothes and drip from my skin, Penny crossed my mind and I turned to see her unconscious form being carried in the other guard's arms.

I could barely find my voice "Is she…" I wanted to know if she was okay, but I was so shaken up I couldn't concentrate.

Barristan stepped forward "Let's get you home Princess" bending down, he picked me up into his arms and made his way out onto the street. He didn't stop walking until we arrived at the Keep where a rush of servants hurried to our side.

Zoning out on their flustering voices, we were now in my room and Barristan had set me down to sit on the edge of the bed. Looking up as he went to leave, I called out "Thank you" turning, he gave me a curt nod before leaving. He looked troubled though, but I was too busy being bombarded to be able to think of a reason as to why. He had saved us. Hadn't he?

* * *

Rhaegar was right when he said things were going to change – except they had done so in a way I hadn't thought about. It never crossed my mind that so soon after my birthday, a day of happiness, things would turn incredibly dreary and misfortunate. That afternoon had gone terribly wrong, but I'm not the one who's suffering for it.

Walking along the garden path, I twisted and mangled a flower I had plucked from one of the bushes. It's once beautiful petals now battered and bruised, just like I was when I arrived to the Keep. Everything that night had happened so fast. People rushed around me, servants wiping the dried blood away from my skin while a Maester looked me up and down – making sure I wasn't as ruined as the flower in my hands.

Listening to the clinging of chainmail and their heavy footsteps, two of the Kingsguard followed me everywhere I went now. I barely had a single ounce of space to myself, I was caged and confined in a time where I just wanted to be alone. Tossing the flower carelessly to the side, I continued to walk when a rather familiar figure just a few paces away stepped out.

It was Brendon.

Looking at me like a wounded dog, he didn't hold my eyes very long before he turned his attention to the ground. Not stopping, my eyes narrowed just a little as I approached him. What did he want? After all this time avoiding me, after two days since the incident, _now_ he decides to show his face. Standing a fair distance apart, I didn't get close to him like I usually do. I didn't hug or offer him smiles. I didn't want him here. Not now.

Instead of speaking, I waited. I wanted to see how long it would take for Brendon to work up the courage. He breathed a small sigh before looking up at me again "I heard what happened…" I wanted to scoff. That's his choice? The first thing he decided to say to me.

"So that's why you're here?" I spoke lowly "That's what finally drives you out. You finally have an excuse big enough to speak to me"

I felt angry. Angry because he avoided me for no good reason. Angry because of what happened. I needed someone to take my frustration out on. All that's happened is too much to handle. Too much to bottle up inside of me like I usually do, and even though I know it's wrong – Brendon is the person I chose.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright" he said quietly. His voice had lost its cocky nature "And Penny – "

"Penny's gone" I immediately snapped "Her parents took her to Highgarden and they won't be coming back" from the mere mention of her name, an unpleasant flash of images crossed my mind. I remembered the following day I had gone to see her, and it was then that they told me what happened. Her mother wouldn't stop crying and I didn't blame her. I understood now, why Barristan Selmy looked so troubled – it was because of Penny.

She was the one that had to suffer the misfortune I had barely escaped from.

"I didn't know"

"Of course you didn't" I hissed "You were too busy avoiding us – me" I huffed "Well now you know…and now you can slink back away to wherever it is you hide" going to walk around him, the conversation was over in my mind, but obviously not Brendon's. Clutching my arm, he stopped me.

"I'm sorry" he said before letting go "For everything" standing there, I could see the guard's just behind me had flexed a little had Brendon's abrupt action. But they settled once they knew it was fine "Please, let me explain"

"What makes you think I want to listen to your excuse?" I hissed "What makes you think I care?"

"Because…" Brendon glanced at the guards "Because it wasn't by choice" he said quietly "It wasn't for no reason at all. But I can't tell you here, not in front of them" he referred to the guards.

I was somewhat confused and a little interested. What did he mean he didn't have a choice? I was sceptical, but I agreed anyway "Then where _will_ you tell me?"

"At the green place" he whispered "Meet me there tomorrow night. I'll tell you everything. No lies"

Using the underground passages of the Keep, there was a particular pathway that led all the way out to the North-East edge of Kingslanding where the thick woods lay. After a little walk inwards, there's a small lake where we'd sometimes swim during the summer heat – we called it the green place.

It might've been a mistake, but I wouldn't know unless I went. I nodded "Tomorrow night…"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I know. I know. It's been ages since I've updated, but I'm alive and I'm back with another chapter. I've just had so many thoughts for other fanfiction bouncing around in my head so I've been a little occupied. For those that don't know I've rebooted my Divergent story called 'Affliction' it's Eric/OC and yes, there will be smut. So that's always good. But anyway, I hope you enjoy the long awaited chapter. Let me know what you think. If you have any idea's or questions, leave it in the review below or PM if it's suits you better. Cheers :)**

A large room filled with rows of shelves filled with ancient books and scrolls, the library is a suitable place of solitude. Nobody ever ventured here and when they did, it's usually only Maester's looking for history and medical books to study upon. Nice and quiet, I could be left unbothered for at least a few hours. Sitting at one of the wooden desks, I turned another page of my book and huffed as my eyes lazily wandered over the old crème coloured pages. It wasn't anything interesting.

Turning my head, I looked out the stained glass windows that peered out to the sea. It was a nice day and normally I'd be enjoying myself. But ever since Penny left I had no desire to go play in the gardens like we once did. Ever since my birthday and that incident, I felt I didn't have the same strength as I once did. The chipper mood that I once held had slowly left and I'd fallen under a gloomy cloud that I couldn't escape from. Instead I felt as if everything I once did was now exactly how my father had described it – childish. Unnecessary.

Closing the book shut with a thud, a small burst of dust escaped and filled the air. Wrinkling my nose as it almost made me sneeze, I got up from my seat and walked over to the book shelf I had gotten it from. Sliding it back into place, I ran my finger over the spines of the books; reading the title. Listening to the library door click open and then shut, I wasn't too bothered until I could hear the sound of boots.

Furrowing my brow, I peeked over my left shoulder to see if I could recognise the persons face, but there was no one in site. Facing the books again, I only just caught a glimpse of the figure standing by my right when he spoke "Reading again?" gasping, I clutched my chest and looked up to see those deep eyes.

It was Rhaegar.

"Why do you have to scare me like that?" I quickly said, trying to calm my racing heart. Turning back to the shelf, I grabbed a random book before walking away from him and back to the desk. Sitting down with a huff, I opened up the pages and Rhaegar was standing by me again "Did you need something?" I grumbled.

"People are worried about you, including me" he replied "You haven't been yourself lately"

I scoffed "Can you blame me? How am I supposed to be happy in a time like this? I just want to be alone and I can't even be allow that" I gestured to the door "They follow me everywhere I go. I can never get any peace or privacy. I feel like a prisoner"

"The guards are there for your protection Rhaella" he crossed his arms.

"I'm in a library" I stated while skimming my eyes over the pages, not really carrying what it said "What do I need _protecting_ from? Do they think a book's going to leap off the shelf and attack me while I read?"

"This isn't a joke" he reprimanded.

"And I'm not laughing" I quickly retorted. Listening to Rhaegar sigh, he crouched down beside me and turned my chair to face him. Crossing my own arms in in slight annoyance, I could see he was a little worried about my unusual state of emotion.

"I know there has to be another reason for why your acting the way you are. If you don't want to talk to Mother or you're Septa then at least talk to me. You know I'll do whatever I can to help" looking away from his gaze, I thought about his offer. I wanted to tell Rhaegar about the situation between me and Brendon but I couldn't. It would just make things worse. I didn't want it to get worse. I wanted things to get better.

"Its fine…there's nothing else" I sighed. Leaning forward, my head rested on his shoulder and I felt his hand rest on my thigh "I'm just lost. I don't feel like me anymore" breathing in the leathery scent of his clothes, I closed my eyes "And I don't know…I don't know if you love me" it was a sudden blurt of my thoughts, but it had been picking at my brain ever since he returned.

"Rhaella" he sighed gently, his hand brushing at the back of my head "I love you"

I shook my head "But not in the way I mean…not like before, when we were young" there's a big difference, and it made me afraid of his answer. What if Rhaegar only says it because that's what's expected of him? I don't want him to love me because he has to, or because there's nothing else. It wouldn't be right. There'd be no true connection. Without it, what would be the point? What would hold us together through to the end of our days?

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you" he replied "Even if I said yes, you'd think I was lying" not looking at him, I stared down as my head still rested on his shoulder. How could he know what I was thinking? I'm so transparent to him "But you should know I wouldn't lie to you. So trust me" he said while leaning away and tilting my chin to look into his deep eyes "I love you"

Leaning in, his warm lips pressed against mine and I closed my eyes to savour the moment and taste. Pulling away too soon I looked at him again and I could see a ghost of a smile on the edges of his mouth. Wandering my gaze over the soft skin of Rhaegars face, my sites landed back onto his lips and I leant forward to kiss him. Lacing my arms around his neck, I squeezed a little tighter to get closer to the warmth of his body.

Feeling Rhaegar slowly stand up from his crouched position, his strong arms wrapped around my waist to pick me up along the way. Setting me down on the reading desk, he pressed his body between my legs and memories from my birthday came rushing back to me; heating my core with a tingling feeling. Brushing his hands over my waist and down the outsides of my thighs, my skirt had ridden back up above my knees.

This time it felt different. I wanted it more. His touch.

"I love you" I said while taking a moment to breath. I had the need to say it back.

"I know" he replied before pressing feather light kisses against the side of my neck, trailing them down and around. Jolting my legs forward so that my backside rested on the edge, he moved his lips back onto my own and I could feel his hips grind against mine; causing a pleasurable spark to riddle me.

Feeling a moan threaten to spill from my lips, I held it back. I'm too afraid to let the sound out as Rhaegar stood before me. Pecking my cheek he suddenly stopped and took a step back. I frowned. Holding out his hand I was a little disappointed that it had ended so quickly, but I didn't complain. Hopping off the desk, I went to flatten out my attire when he gently twirled me around and took a step forward.

Pressing my pelvis back against the desk, Rhaegars hands rested at my waist as my brows furrowed with confusion "Do you trust me?" he whispered near my ear.

"What?" my voice was quiet and I was a little lost for words, but I nodded "Yes, I trust you. You know that"

Holding both of my hands he leant forward to place them down on the desk; my palms lying flat against the wood "Don't move" he instructed.

"Why? What are you doing?" trying to look over my shoulder to see, I didn't understand what was going on and I'm growing more nervous by the second. Feeling Rhaegars firm body press up against me from behind, I felt closed it and unable to escape. Rhaegars face was almost right next to mine and his warm breath fanned along my neck.

Sighing, I looked down when I felt his hand trailing down my hips and over my thighs. Watching, the edge of my dress skirt inched higher as he clutched a fist full to slowly drag it up. When it was passed my knees, his right hand slipped under the mass of material and out of site. His fingers were wandering up the insides of my heated thighs to skim over the thin material covering my private area.

Breathing through my parted lips, my legs trembled a little as a swell of butterflies erupted in my stomach. I could feel Rhaegars fingers slipping under the waistband of my undergarment to smooth over my skin. Although I wasn't quite sure what was happening, I did know that it felt good and I didn't want him to stop. Skimming his fingers along my clit to rub little circles, my eyes squeezed shut and my fingers clenched.

Listening, a small moan of satisfaction left my lips. The new intense sensation making me see speckled stars in my blackened vision. Moving my hips responsively, I could feel myself trying to grind to get better friction but there wasn't much space to do so. But soon, Rhaegars fingers slipped further down and I jolt with a gasp when he buried a finger deep into my warmth.

It hurt. But with the wet slick forming around, his slow gentle strokes made the pain disappear quickly. Moving forward, Rhaegars chest pressed against my back and I had to flatten myself down on the desk before he stopped. Pushing up into me, I gasped again when he added another finger. I could feel myself stretching as he prodded against my walls. It felt so strange. Almost invasive, but in a good way. A very good way.

"Shh" he hushed gently "Don't let them hear"

I wanted to speak but I couldn't. I wasn't confident enough that words would come out instead of moans, so I nodded instead. Placing his left hand near my side for support, the other one went to work; building up a faster rhythm than before. Moving my legs a little wider, his angle changed and he went a little deeper. Resting my forehead on my arm, I focused on the pleasure and tried to remember we weren't really alone. The guards are outside and the last thing I wanted is for them to hear something. I'd be too embarrassed to look at them afterwards.

Bitting my lip and gritting my teeth, my finger nails dug into the palm of my hand as the tension began to build in my stomach. It was tight like a coil and I could feel it was just about to snap. Sliding down the inside of my thigh, a small trail of liquid tickled my skin and I could feel the squelching sound Rhaegars fingers were making. Breathing heavy, my brows knitted together and I began to shuffle and twitch uncontrollably.

Clamping his left hand over my mouth, he thrusted his fingers a little harder and whine of a moan muffled out into the open air. Gushing, a wave of pleasure rocked my body and I could feel my walls clench around his fingers as they stilled for a moment. Slumping down a little, my entire body felt wobbly and my eyes fluttered with tiredness.

Moving his hand away, Rhaegar waited until the aftershocks wared off before removing his fingers and straightening up. Instantly I blushed a bright cherry red. What had just happened? I was oddy confused and embarrassed about the predicament, and too shy to even look at him as I stood up and adjusted my clothing. Brushing the wrinkles from my dress, my eyes stayed directly on the floor and I wasn't sure what to do next. Do I leave? Do I speak? What would I say?

"You're blushing" he said. Shifting at his words, I fiddled with a bit of my dress "Why are you so shy?" he took my face in his hands and I was forced to look into his deep gaze.

"I don't know" I whispered while swallowing "I don't know what happened" it wasn't really what I wanted to say, but I didn't know how else to put it. I didn't know how to make him understand.

Rhaegar sighed gently "But you liked it, didn't you?"

I nodded "Yes" trying to lower my eyes, Rhaegar dropped his hands to pull me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around his waist "Don't be embarrassed. It wasn't wrong…but now you know" he said while resting his chin on the top of my head "What love can feel like"

* * *

Sitting by the fireplace in my room, I continued to sow the golden phoenix clipped into my embroidery hoop. Since returning from the library I had yet to leave, and instead I thought it best that I stay here. Protected from the people's eyes. For some stupid reason, I felt as if everyone somehow knew about what had happened in the library. As I walked along the hallways to my room, the nobles and servants all looked at me with smiles; like they usually do. However, the whole situation had put be on edge and I blushed the entire way. But I knew deep down it wasn't possible, they couldn't know.

"I've brought you your supper" announced Septa as she entered my room and placed the silver tray onto the table.

Nodding, I set down my embroidery and got up with a slight wince. Between my thighs ached but I didn't say a word. Walking over to the table, I carefully sat in the chair before looking down at my meal. Freshly cooked beef and a side of vegetables. It look appetizing and my stomach growled at the delicious smell that wafted from the plate. Using my knife and fork I ate my dinner with small delicate bites until I was finished.

Sitting back in my chair with a cup of water, I remembered I still had to meet Brendon at the green place. Sighing, I turned to look at the open view of the balcony as the sky darkened by the minutes "Is there something that troubles you your grace? You don't seem all too pleased"

I shook my head "It's nothing. It's just been a rather exhausting day. I think I'll be going to bed early" I lied.

"Very well" she said with a curt nod.

Once I had bathed and dressed for bed, Septa blew out the candles and left me in piece. Sighing into the dark room, I waited a few hours until I thought it was safe enough for me to leave. Slipping from under the thick covers, I got redressed into something more suitable. Shrugging on a coat, I flipped up the hood and made sure to hide my silvery white hair.

Quietly opening the door to my room, I took a careful glance around to make sure there weren't any guards or servants wandering the halls. When I knew it was safe, I quick exited and hurried down to find the passage door. Opening it up, stairs led down to the cellars beneath the Keep and I could find my way through one of the many secret passages from there.

Making sure to keep quiet, I didn't want to make too much noise encase someone was also using the elaborate system. As far as I knew, there were only a handful of people that knew about the underground tunnels but I still needed to careful. You never know who might be lurking around the corner, and the last thing I needed it to be caught red handed.

Walking down the stone built trail, it was rather dark but I had picked up one of the oil lamps hanging from the cellar walls. Once I finished the long walk, I was at the very end and I unlatched the heavy and somewhat rusty lever that exited outside the North-West wall of Kingslanding. Breathing in the fresh night air as it rustled through the open door way, I left the oil lamp beside the door. I have enough moonlight to make my way to the green place.

Starting on the last stretch of the journey, I pushed past thick bushes and dense woods until I found the large boulder. When we were young, all of us children had carved out names into the stone surface. It was a somewhat 'claim' of ours, and it also allowed us to find the lake a little easier. From this point on I knew it was only a little distance ahead.

Crackling under my shoes, branches snapped and the tree's swayed with the wind. I could hear several sounds of insects along with a lone owl. Trudging through, I could see the lake just up a few meters away and when I stepped onto the bank I looked up at the night sky. The stars were gleaming and I could hear the water ripple "I didn't think you would come" I spun around at the sound of his voice.

Keeping my eyes on Brendon, he crept from the shadow of the trees and into the light "I'm giving you a chance to explain, so I wouldn't waste what little time you have of my company" I said while taking down my hood. My white locks almost glowing from the beams of moonlight shining down on us.

"I won't" he replied while stepping closer.

"Then what did you mean back in the garden? That your avoidance wasn't by choice" I tilted my head. I've been pondering its meaning since he said it to me the day before.

He looked down at his feet before sighing with a brief pause "Your brother. He approached me the morning of your birthday. He made it clear that I'm to stay away from you. That I didn't speak in your direction and if I saw you to turn around and walk the other way"

A frown crossed over my face before a flash of anger replaced it "You're accusing my brother?" I hissed "How dare you. Rhaegar would never say that to you. We've been friends for years. He wouldn't think anything of us. Not unless you told him" I accused.

"And you know I would never. I haven't uttered a single word. But it doesn't mean that someone else couldn't have. There's spies everywhere in the Keep. Any one of them could have seen us. Gained suspicion…Rhaella, he knows" added Brendon with a firm but soft tone.

Looking away, I stared out at the water of the lake. I couldn't believe it "Then why hasn't he said anything to me? Why would he keep it to himself all this time? It doesn't make sense"

"I don't know, but you know I would never lie to you. I care too much to hurt you in that way. I'm telling the truth" he said "You know I'd never avoid you for no reason. I'd never not want to be near your side. I love you"

I winced at his confession. Somehow, Brendon's words didn't feel the same as when Rhaegar had admitted it earlier on today. I didn't feel that tightening in my chest and pleasure of joy in my stomach. When Brendon spoke, it sounded so hollow to my ears. As if it didn't have any meaning to me.

Feeling the warmth of his body come up from behind, Brendon's hand reached out to cup my wrist gently. Turning me around, I looked up at him and I was swarmed with guilt "Tell me that you feel the same"

The hope in his green eyed crushed me. I could barely handle it. How he stood here before with faith that I'll accept and be his forever. How he wishes we'll live a happy long life with many children to come. But the truth is, I don't see that future. I'm not sure if I ever really have "I could tell you that" I said with a nod as tears welled in my eyes "But it would be a lie" pulling from Brendon's hold I took a step back. The pang of hurt struck me hard in my chest and yet at the same time I'm relieved.

Swallowing, Brendon stared with shock "I don't understand" he muttered. I could tell by his confused expression he was having trouble it taking it all in "What is it? Don't you believe me?"

I wish it were that simple, but the truth is much more painful "It doesn't matter if I do or I don't…this decision, it's my own. It has nothing to do with Rhaegar, regardless of his actions"

"But it has too. You were happy to be in my arms and by my side, and now with your bothers return it's all changed. This is all his fault" Brendon gestured with an angry tone.

"No it isn't" I said with a shake of my head "The fault is mine…I just didn't realise it until now. What I was doing to you – and I'm sorry" I bowed my head with shame as well to hide the tear that slipped from my eyes. I didn't know I could be so cruel.

"So this was all just an elaborate lie. All those words. All that time. It didn't mean anything to you?"

"I-I thought I did, at first. But I know now that it was all just a dream. I used your love to fill a void in me" stepping forward, Brendon took my face in his hands and pressed his lips against mine. Moving my mouth against his, I wasn't quite sure why I kissed back. I suppose I was making sure that what I feel is really true, and it is.

I feel nothing.

Gasping, shock rippled through my body along with fear as Brendon was suddenly pulled away from me. Snapping my eyes open with pure shock, I took in the golden armour of the Kingsguard. It was Barristan Selmy and he had tossed Brendon onto the ground; the tip of his sword pointed at his throat.

Lurching forward before I could think, another pair of strong armoured arms wrapped around from behind to stop me. But I still called out "Please, don't hurt him"

"Forgive me my lady, but my sword is not yours to command this night" replied Barristan. Struggling in the guard's arms, I squirmed and twisted to try and free myself but nothing was working.

"Then who's? Who sent you?" I questioned. Turning his head, Barristan's eyes looked towards the woods as a figure emerged from the darkness; like the familiar looming shadow at the tournament of my birthday. My brother.

Rhaegar.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I feel so terrible right now. I haven't updated in forever. But I've been taking some time off to get the chapter plans sorted, and if you haven't noticed I've got a lot of stories going at the same time. Don't ask me why, I don't know. I was just recently bombarded with a bunch of idea's I really wanted to get out (And I miss writing about Bucky) But anyway, this story is on the top of the list for priorities, so I haven't forgotten about it. But please, all the people who like Bucky/OC go check out my new story 'Devotion'. I'm really hoping on getting more viewers for it. *Cough* Smutchapterthree *Cough***

 **Oh by the way, what do you think about my portrayal of Rhaegar so far? And do you guys want more motions-of-the-ocean between Rhaegar and Rhaella (If you know what I mean) or is that not for you guys? I was kinda testing it out last chapter to see if was a green or red light. Let me know. Review or PM if your more comfortable about it that way. C** **heers for reading :)**

Stilling in the guards grip I watched as Rhaegar got off of his black horse to walk over to me. I could already see the sour expression on his face and it made me lower my eyes to the ground. For once, he didn't look pleased to see me and it made my stomach churn. He's never been like this before, or never around me at least. Listening to the crunch of the grass beneath Rhaegars boots, he stopped just a few steps away and I winced at the sound of his voice.

"Take him" ordered Rhaegar in a firm tone, and I went to take a step forward but the guard kept a good hold of me.

"Please, it wasn't what it looked like. He didn't mean anything by it" I said hoping it might help, but it didn't. Rhaegars expression never wavered and I continued to watch, helpless, as Barristan hauled Brendon to his feet. Carting him off, I listened as he called out.

"Wait. Please. Stop!" Brendon pleaded to the Kingsguard, but he didn't listen "Rhaella!" feeling my heart sink beneath my chest, I felt anxious about what was happening. How did they find us? How did they know we were going to be here? It's all going quickly and I can barely keep up. So many things have happened.

Watching Barristan as he dragged a reluctant Brendon back into the darkness of the woods, I looked to Rhaegar as he turned to face me "Please, don't hurt him. It was just a kiss" I pleaded. I didn't know what else to say. How do I make things right? Starting to panic, Rhaegar refused to answer me, and instead he remained silent with a glare in his deep eyes.

Stepping forward, Rhaegar grabbed me from the clutches of the guard and proceeded to drag me over towards his towering horse. Grabbing a hold of my waist, he wasn't gentle as he pushed me up onto the saddle before getting on behind me. Taking a quick look around, I could see the two guards were now sitting atop their horses and I could barely believe it. How did we not hear them coming? Surely we would have. But then again, they'd stopped a little ways back from the lake. Sneaking up on us like snakes in the grass, and neither me nor Brendon were prepared for the chaos that would follow.

Searching for the familiar and no doubt distraught face of Brendon, I found his hands to be bound and attached to a short length of rope secured to Barristan's saddle. My brows furrowed at the site. They were going to make him _walk_ all the way back to the main city gates, as if he were a prisoner. As if he'd done something terribly awful. Immediately I felt shame and regret. I thought tonight would have been it. I was going to do what was right and let Brendon go – but by that time it was too late.

Our secret wasn't a secret anymore, and it made me wonder how anyone had found out. Was Brendon telling me the truth about Rhaegar? Did he know everything, about us, about tonight? Was all of this some sort of trap to catch us seemingly red handed? I didn't know, and I didn't really want to believe it – that Rhaegar would do something like that to me. But then again, I never thought he would ever have _look_ at me the way he is tonight – with anger.

Looping his arm around my waist, Rhaegar grabbed the reigns "I suggest you don't speak" he said with a cold tone. It made me cower and I felt the familiar sting of tears brim at my eyes. I hate myself – for everything that's happened. Tonight's all because of me.

Not saying a word like Rhaegar said, I didn't want to defy him and I didn't know if I was capable of forming words with my current state. Riding back along the large wall of Kingslanding, we entered through one of the main city gates and I could feel the lingering eyes of the people as they stared at us. They were probably wondering what happened. They were probably coming up with a million and one ideas. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole capitol is talking about it tomorrow.

Once we made it through the city and up to the Keep, we stopped in the main courtyard and Rhaegar got down from the horse. Reaching up, he pulled me off and set me on my feet; his hand holding my shoulder. Watching the servant take the horses back to the stables, I found Brendon straggling and weary from the long walk. Barristan now held the rope and was pulling him away from us to another part of the Keep.

Turning to look at me as he left, Brendon's face was pained and he looked distraught. However, he didn't call my name and he didn't start to plead again. Why wasn't he fighting back? Not taking my eyes off of Brendon, my question was directed toward Rhaegar "Where are you taking him?" nudging me to move towards the large entrance door of the Keep, Rhaegar didn't answer me and I couldn't handle the silence anymore "Stop ignoring me!" I bellowed "I want to know where you're taking him?"

"They're taking him to where he belongs" replied Rhaegar before gripping my jaw to look upward "You'll never see him again. You'll never speak to him again. He's no longer apart of this life – of _your_ life. Do you understand me?" swallowing the lump in the back of my throat, my eyes were welling once again.

"He didn't do anything wrong" I whimpered out. The fierceness I had before now gone "We didn't do anything. I swear" what could I say to convince him? To tell him that we didn't _do_ anything?

"You don't have to _swear_ to me Rhaella. I already know – everything" he gently swiped his thumb over my bottom lip "And as for your current state of _body_ , I know you're not lying. I made sure of that this morning" furrowing my brows, I stared up into Rhaegar's deep eyes before my own narrowed with a glare. That's what _that_ was, in the library.

I couldn't believe it.

"You'd do that to me?" I hissed. The anger sparked up inside of me again "I'm your sister – "

" _And_ you're my bride" he interrupted with a snap "You should have known better Rhaella. You should have stayed away and so should've your _lover_. Now he'll pay for his mistake"

"And what are you going to do? Kill him? Leave him to rot in the cellars?" I questioned "If you do that, then you're no better than _him_ " taking an instant and intimidating step forward, a growl rumbled from Rhaegars chest and a spike of fear entered my heart at the look in his eye. I know I shouldn't have said that. It was wrong to compare Rhaegar to our father, but it had slipped from my lips before I could stop myself

Staring for a minute longer, he gestured the nearby guards over towards us "Take the Princess back to her room. She's not to leave until I say" turning around Rhaegar walked away and the guards ushered me inside the walls of the Keep. I didn't bother fighting or arguing any further – it's clear it's not going to get me anywhere.

* * *

Sitting in my room for hours, I waited for Rhaegar to come that night but he never did and I ended up falling asleep. Disturbed by a light shaking motion, I quickly jolted awake only to face Septa "Oh, it's you" I sighed with relief.

"Yes your grace, only me" she replied. Sitting up on my bed, I gently swung my legs over the bed. My whole body ached "Would you mind telling me as to why there are guards standing outside your room?" I glanced down at the floor. I didn't really want to tell her, but I couldn't _not_ tell her either.

"There was an _argument_ – last night"

"I see" taking a step back, Septa walked over to the table where a silver tray sat with fresh food "It's nearly mid-day, but I was instructed not to wake you until now. I brought you some food. I thought you might be hungry"

I nodded before getting up to sit at the table "Thank you" rubbing my neck as I ate, it was stiff and sore but I tried not to let it bother me "Has…has anyone said anything to you today? Anyone at all?"

Septa shook her head as she stood a little off to the side "No your grace" plucking a green grape from my plate, I took a bite and winced at the sour taste it left behind. Leaning back in my chair, I looked out through the open balcony. The sun is high in the sky and I could hear the faint echo of the city as it hustled and bustled.

Once I finished eating whatever food I could stomach, I got up from my chair and Septa helped me change into a fresh set of clothes. Finishing the small plait in my hair, I got up from the seat of my vanity table and walked to the doors. Opening them up, I was instantly met with a guard blocking my path "Apologies your grace, but you're not to leave your room"

"Until when?" I questioned a little sharply.

"Until the Prince commands it" biting my tongue I sighed before quickly pushing my way past the guards to head down the hall, but they quickly caught up to me "Please your grace, go back to your room"

"No" I replied firmly. I wasn't going to back down, not to them.

Continuing to walk down the hallway, I don't think the guards were too sure on which orders to follow – mine or Rhaegars. We're both royalty but I doubt the guards wanted to risk laying a hand on me, and so they let me walk free. Navigating my way through the Keep, I kept to the halls that had the least chance of encountering Rhaegar. There's no doubt one of the guards would be going to tell him the news of my ' _escape_ ', so I had to hurry.

Quickly walking, I made my way down the stairs, out of the doorway and across the open courtyard. I was heading to the cellars. A completely dark and damp place, it was far from nice to be in but I had to see him. I had to make sure they didn't do anything to Brendon. Even though I confessed the truth that my love didn't lie with him, it doesn't mean I still don't care.

Standing outside the cellar entrance, the single guard glanced at me but didn't say a word as I passed through the narrow door. With tight bricked passageways, I headed down a thin set of stairs until I reached the right level. On my right side, there were small sections divided by thick black iron bars. Everything about this place is dirty. The floor is moist and almost black, and the air smelt of mould and rot.

Walking down the long length of the corridor, I called out "Brendon! Where are you?" looking in each cell, some of them held prisoners and some didn't. I was starting become afraid Brendon wasn't here as I hadn't found his face yet and he didn't call back. Looking in each and every one, it was hard to see from the lack of light but then an arm pocked out just a few cells down and I knew in my stomach it was him.

Racing forward, I got down on my knees beside the cell despite the grimy floor. Brendon was sitting by the iron bars and his skin was covered in dirt and dried patches of blood. I felt tears bubble in my eyes at the site "What did they do to you?" my brows furrowed as I tried to see his face in the darkness "You're covered in blood"

Brendon didn't answer me. Instead he grabbed my hand in a light grip and laced his fingers with mine. I could feel a sticky substance on my fingers and I looked down to see it was more blood. Where is it all coming from? I tugged on his arm, pulling him closer to the light of the torches lining the wall behind me. Watching the yellow glint cross his face, Brendon's eyes met mine and my own found the trail of tried blood that had once gushed from his mouth.

I felt my stomach drop with dread. They didn't? Did they? I reached my hand out to cup his cheek and his other hand shot up to hold it there as his eyes closed. I could hear his hitched breaths. Still he didn't speak – and now I know why "I'm sorry Brendon" I kissed the back of his hand "I never meant for any of this to happen"

He squeezed my hand "H-hel me" his voice was a gurgle but I could understand what he was saying, and I nodded before giving a quick kiss to his hand again.

Sniffling, I got up from the floor and followed the narrow corridor up the stairs until I eventually found my way out of the dark abyss of the cellars. Wiping my eyes with the back of my sleeve, my chest was tight and I felt as if I couldn't breathe "Your grace?" questioned the guard beside me. I jumped. I forgot he was there.

Not answering him, I stilled my tears as I was brought back to reality – back to my anger. Turning around, I marched across the courtyard and back into the Keep. Passing a few servants, they all stared at my tear stained and rosy cheeks, but they said nothing toward it. Stalking up the concrete stairs, I found myself outside of Rhaegars room. Pushing through the thick double doors, the open plan is spacious and similar to my own room.

Standing near the dining table, a Kingsguard was interrupted as he was talking to the silver haired man I called my brother "Get out" I hissed at the guard. Giving a curt nod of his head, he left us and I quickly went up to Rhaegar and slapped him across the face "He didn't deserve to be mutilated!" I bellowed with anger. A fresh flood tears pooled into my eyes as I gave a weak hit to his chest "Why did you do it?!"

Rhaegar barely flinched at my assault and harsh words. Instead his face had set into a firm stare as he looked down at me "Have you ever once stopped to think that this is not _my_ doing, but yours?" my breath hitched "If you're going to blame anyone – blame yourself" he continued "You might as well have held the knife"

I shook my head in pure denial "No. I would _never_ do that to him. He's my friend"

"Did _he_ know that?" questioned Rhaegar mockingly "Between the brief touches and passionate kisses – I don't think so"

"I was going to make it right. I told him it wasn't real" I said more to myself than him "I was just confused. I never wanted to hurt him" sniffling as streams of tears fell from my faced, my arms wrapped around my waist as I slowly knelt to the floor.

Sobbing, I could barely see and so I closed my eyes – but it didn't help. All the memories hit me as hard as a battering ram and I've never felt more _hurt_ in my life. What did I do? Why has everyone gone from my life? How did everything fall apart so quickly?

Burying my face into my hands, tears soaked my sleeves in patches. I collected myself enough to speak coherently "Please, don't kill him" I pleaded "I promise, I'll do anything you ask. Just, don't it"

Rhaegar sighed "He won't die, but I meant what I said – You won't ever see him again. He leaves tomorrow and he's never to return" Rhaegar crouched down in front of me, his hand tilting my chin to look into his deep eyes "Be _thankful_ Rhaella, that I'm not our _father_ " his voice low, an almost growl. Immediately his words shot a pang of guilt and hurt into my heart – but I deserved it. _All_ of this pain.

Letting my chin go so that he could stand up, Rhaegar walked around me to the door and the sound of it closing with a thud made my stomach twist and my chest squeeze as I cried into the palm of my hands once again. I've never had to suffer until now. It made my insides crumble, and I briefly wondered how I was going to put myself back together again.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Here another update! As always please let me know what you think :) Cheers.**

Standing in one of the rooms over-looking the main courtyard, I had woken up early with the morning sun so that I could see _them_ all before they left. I know I was told never to see _him_ , but I had to take the chance – just this one last time. After this, it would be eternity. I want to remember their faces.

Peering out of one of the glass windows, Brendon's mother and father stood waiting for the horses and carriage to be prepared. Talking to each other, they didn't appear to be happy. In fact, they looked worried and upset and I couldn't blame them. They were probably terrified after no doubt hearing everything that had happened. I wish I could say something that would make it all better. But I know I'm the last person they'd ever want to see.

Continuing to watch for a few more minutes, my breath hitched when I caught site of the cellar doors opening. Escorted out by two guards, Brendon had been removed of all blood but he still had a ruined look about him. Slowly stumbling toward his parents, they gave him a warm embrace and my throat tightened as his mother started to cry. Glancing away for a brief moment, I turned back to see them getting inside of the carriage – Brendon being the last to enter.

But before he climbed the step, he took a look around and I pressed my hand against the glass. Would he see me? Roaming his brown eyes over the castle, my hopes died when he didn't indicate my presence. He'd never know I was here – saying goodbye. Turning, he ducked into the carriage and one of the guards closed the door before the horses started to pull them further away. My hand slipped from the glass window.

That's the last time I'll ever see him. He's gone forever now.

* * *

Sitting beside Mother at the large dining table in the hall, the usual banquet of breakfast had been served. Apart of me was thankful that Rhaegar hadn't joined us. I don't think I could see or talk to him yet. I didn't particularly want to be near anyone right now. Staring down at my plate, I hadn't eaten anything yet as I was too occupied with thoughts from earlier this morning.

"You've barely touched your food" spoke Mother quietly "Are you not hungry?"

"No" I said quietly with a small shake of my head.

"If she wants to starve then let her" grumbled Father a he bit into a piece of bacon "She's still sulking over that boy" my fingers curled to dig into the palm of my hands, but I didn't say anything. What would I say?

"You don't need to be so harsh" replied Mother in my defence.

"Harsh, am I?" he cocked a white eyebrow as he looked at her "After the shame? After the humiliation she's caused this family" Mother sighed in irritation "You don't you agree?" he questioned "You suppose our daughter _should_ prance around like a tavern wench? Sneaking off into the middle of the night, doing Gods know what?" Father paused to look at me, but I didn't meet his eyes "He should have _cut_ that boy in half instead of letting him walk free. Your brother is too soft on you"

Dragging my chair out, I rose from my seat. But as I went to leave, Fathers fist crashed down onto the dining table and I flinched as his booming voice echoed out into the air "Sit, down!" trying to calm my racing heart, I slowly did as he said "From now on you will _d_ o as your _told_ girl. You will not speak until spoken to and you will not leave this table until _I_ tell you – is that understood?"

I nodded "Yes"

Pausing, he leant back into his seat "Now, you will eat – before I have someone do it for you"

Swallowing the lump that had formed in the back of my throat, Mother didn't say anything this time. Instead, we both sat silent and I looked down at my plate. Forking a piece of cooked tomatoe, I ate until there was nothing left – even if it made me feel sick.

Once we were all finished, Father had let me leave the table and I immediately went straight to my room. As soon as the wooden doors closed behind me, I broke down in another wave of tears. All I do now is cry. My face constantly hurts, my eyes sting with tears and my lungs hurt from all the chocked breaths from sobbing. It's as if I'm in constant pain.

"Rhaella" it was the soft tone of my Mother's voice. I didn't hear her come in and I almost thought I might be hallucinating until she pulled me into her arms. Pressing me against her, the swollen belly she carried was the only space between us "Don't cry" she caressed my locks of white hair "Not for him. Not for anyone…You're strong"

"But I'm not" I sobbed "It hurts and I can't – I can't do it. I just want it to go away"

She hushed me "It's going to be alright" holding me tighter in her arms, I focused on the warmth of her body and comforting embrace. I tried to imagine a happy and safe place – somewhere I could escape to if only for a brief moment. Slowly my tears started to dry and my breaths became even. Pulling away, Mother looked at me "Even if he does not show it, your Father still loves you" she said promisingly "Rhaegar still loves you"

I wiped my cheeks "I don't think so – not anymore. They don't act as if they do. They've both become cold"

Mother shook her head lightly "Men, do and say what they must do. They bare many burdens so that you don't have to. They do it because they care – for love. You might not realise it now, I didn't for quite some time, but it's true"

"But how do you know the difference. How did _you_ know it was true?"

"Because one day when your least expecting it, he'll prove it to you, and you'll feel it" she replied " _That's_ when you know. That's when it all makes sense" glancing away from Mother, a crease had formed in my brow. I've always believed in my Mothers words, but right now I'm not quite sure.

* * *

After finishing my lessons with Septa, I wandered the halls of the Keep until I managed to find myself in the Gardens. Aimlessly walking through the maze like place, the tips of my fingers brushed against the hedges and I could feel the leaves and branches prickle my skin. Turning a corner, my shoes made small taps along the bricked pavement and I could soon hear the sound of trickling water.

Looking up ahead, the familiar waterfall gushed water and my eyes landed on the patch of green grass. The same place we'd all sit and laugh. The place many happy memories were created, and now – it was a morbid reminder. Stepping closer, there was no one around, but I swear I could hear giggles and laughter. I swear I could faintly see them, my friends – Brendon and Penny – sitting on the grass with smiles on their faces.

Kneeling on the grass, I laid down and looked up at the blue sky. When we were little, we used to try and see what kind of things we could come up with by using the shape of the clouds. Or when it was night time, like the night before my birthday, we'd look at the stars instead. Running my fingers through the blades of grass below, I could smell the earthy scent along with the flowers. It all mixed together with the sound of the waterfall nearby. Peaceful.

Closing my eyes, I felt the warm sun shine down on my skin and I breathed in the fresh air that had the slightest scent of salt from the sea. Enjoying the moments of silence, they were soon interrupted by a shadow further darkening my vision. I could no longer feel the sun and everything seemed cold now. As if the world had been suddenly shrouded. Opening my eyes, I peered straight into a familiar set. It was Rhaegar

I sat up "Are you going to yell at me?" I asked. Not being able to see him as he stood behind me, I looked out to the hedges.

"No" he replied.

Getting up from my spot, I dusted the few bits of grass from my dress and turned to look at him "Then how come you're here? I didn't think you'd want to see me so soon. I thought you'd still be angry about what I did – what I said. Everyone else seems to be" standing in his usual black attire, there were still a few steps separating us from being so close.

I looked down toward the ground and listened to the crunch of the grass as Rhaegar walked. I thought he might be leaving, but then his boots came into site and I felt his hand reach out to hold mine. Slowly pulling me toward him, I was hesitant as Rhaegar wrapped his arms around me; my cheek pressing against his leather vest "She told me what happened this morning – with Father" he replied.

I frowned "I don't want to talk about it" shrugging myself out of his hold, I took a step back and my arms wrapped around myself for comfort "I know now. It's all my fault. I'm a humiliation. You don't have to keep reminding me"

"Rhaella" started Rhaegar as he took a step forward. I took two back.

"No" I said while stretching out my arm to keep the distance "Just stay away. I don't want to listen to it anymore" reaching forward, Rhaegar grabbed my hand and tugged "No! Let go" I struggled in his hold as he wrapped his arms around me. Sinking to the grassy floor, my back was pressed against his chest as I squirmed.

"Rhaella, stop" he ordered.

"I don't want to hear it!" fidgeting, I tried to pull myself away from his arms but they were unmoving; as if I did nothing to affect him in the slightest. Feeling my anger and frustration slip away as I realised I wouldn't be able to free myself, my chest started to hiccup with small sobs. Giving up, I slumped back with my head resting against Rhaegars chest as we both sat on the soft bed of grass.

After a moment of silence, he spoke up "Tell me what's really wrong"

Sniffling, I wiped at my eyes before the tears could fall. Wasn't it obvious? "Everything" I answered "There all gone because of something I did. Now all I have is myself – I don't want to be alone"

"You're not alone Rhaella. You have your family" he said in a reassuring tone. I suppose he was right – for now. I'll have my family, up until the day that I don't.

"And what happens when there all gone too?" my voice was just above a whisper. I dreaded the thought – the day "They won't be here forever"

"Then it'll be me" he said.

"Just you?"

"Isn't that enough?" Rhaegar questioned while looking down at me, although I was peering out toward the distance. I'm not quite sure if Rhaegars enough. How could anyone live with just _one_ person for the rest of their lives? Wouldn't that drive you mad?

"It should be, shouldn't it? Because of love" I added. Taking one of his hands, I cradled it close to my chest "Promise you won't leave me. Not for anything. Not for anyone. I can't lose you too. Not when you're the only one I have left. The only one that really cares"

Adjusting me, Rhaegar held me closer; his chin rest on the top of my head "I won't leave if you don't push me away"

* * *

Staying with each other on the grass for hours, sometimes we talked and sometimes we didn't. It was nice to be away from everything for a moment – to have the afternoon to ourselves without no interruptions. But after the sun started to turn bright, we made our way back inside to the dining hall. It wasn't too bad that time, Father was too occupied with talking to Rhaegar to focus on me and dinner went quickly.

Now I was sitting in the bathtub as Septa sat behind me on a stool. Massaging my scalp and hair with scented soap, she scrubbed gently with the tips of her fingers and made sure to get everywhere with it. Looking down at the clouded water, my voice gave a slight echo off of the walls "Septa"

"Yes your grace?"

"You've been here since I was a little girl and I never asked how exactly you came to be here – taking care of me" I explained with curiosity "Do you know my family well?" I wondered. Feeling the hot water of the bath swish along my skin as ripples were made, I had sunk low in the tub so that the water level was at my neck.

"Well your grace, I was there the night you were born" she replied and I raised an eyebrow.

"You were?" I asked confused "How come I never knew?"

"I suppose it's never been brought up until now, but it's true. I was with you and your Mother through the entire ordeal. But because your Mother was very sick after your birth, I had to take care of you. I fed you every day and I changed your clothes. It seems like a long time ago. You were a fragile little thing, but you grew up to be beautiful none the less"

"And so you've been taking care of me ever since?" I finished.

"Yes, I have" she agreed "But to say I _know_ your family very well, I couldn't. Your Mother speaks to me on occasion to see how your studies are progressing, and as for your Father, I haven't spoken to him since you were a child"

"And what about Rhaegar?" I asked while rippling the water with the tips of my fingers. I could see the slight sheen of steam come off of the water's surface.

"He was six years old when I first arrived in Kingslanding. Since then I've watched him grow into a fine young man" she replied.

A ghost of a smile grace my lips at the thought "What was he like? When he was young. I always imagined him to be cheeky" I teased.

"Oddly enough your grace, he was not" she replied "He was a very quiet boy. An obsessive reader actually. He was always in the library with his nose in a book. I remember it got to a point where people use to jest about it"

I felt intrigued at the new information. That wasn't the Rhaegar I knew. Sitting a little straighter in the tub, I asked "And what happened?"

Septa's fingers disappeared from my hair to grab the water jug "One day he changed. He gained the sudden motivation to become a warrior and he trained for hours with the best swordsman money could buy. At the age of seventeen he was knighted and by then your brother had become a highly skilled and capable fighter, as he's proved on many occasions"

I frowned at the cause of what might have made Rhaegar change "Do you think it was because of my Father?" I wouldn't be surprised if it were.

"No one's quite sure. I suppose you'd have to ask your brother" tapping my shoulder, she gestured "Sit forward" doing as she said, I angled my head back so that she could wash the soap from my silver locks "I've always loved your hair" she complimented "There's nothing else like it in the world. Entirely unique to you and your family"

"I think it's boring" I replied with a light sigh "It's so bland and lifeless, no colour, just _white_ " I smiled "If I could have chosen I'd want it to be a fiery red, like the Tully's. It's so vibrant and beautiful"

Septa chuckled with a smile "Your right, and I think it would suit you. It would match with your light skin" looking down, I reached my arm up so that I could look along my pale and flawless skin. Even the hairs on my body are light, it almost seems as if there's nothing until you look close enough to see the faint wisps "Would you like to stay in here a little longer?" asked Septa as she stood up. I nodded "Alright"

Watching Septa walk away and out of the bathroom, I was left alone with my thoughts. Sighing, I slouched back down into the tub and turned my head. Set beside me on a small table are a few lit candles. Watching as the glow flickered with small puffs of smoke, my hand reached out to hover above the heated flame. It felt like nothing at first, but as I lowered my hand closer to the wick I felt the sting of a burn and drew my hand back with a wince.

Submerging my hand under the water, I rubbed the centre of my palm until the sting started to dissipate. Running my fingers over my leg it tickled the flesh of my thigh and small flashes of memory crossed my mind. The day in the library. I could feel a blush creep onto my cheeks and I'm glad no one is here to witness it.

Shaking my head of the thought, I wiped my hand over my face and focused back on the candle beside me. But as I watched the twitching glow, it's swaying had slowly lulled me to sleep and I had slipped into unconsciousness – and underwater.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N It's been ages but here's another update! Things are going to be kicked up a notch and I hope you enjoy. As always let me know what you think about this chapter in the review box down below or PM if it suits :) Cheers!**

 _Running my fingers along the smooth surface of one of the pillars, I watched from the sidelines as people cluttered the Great Hall for the grand celebration. I could feel the warmth of the atmosphere as candles shone bright to give the large space a soft glow. Men drank from their cups of wine as they watched the women dance in the centre of the Hall. Everyone is laughing and talking amongst themselves. But as I stood peering through small gaps to watch the dancing, I couldn't understand the words that left their mouths. It all sounded so strange._

 _"Rhaella, join us!" gleamed a tall blonde man as he appeared in front of me with a wide smile. I don't know who he is. I've never seen him before. Watching the circled crowd part to make a narrow pathway to the middle, a girl had stopped dancing to walk toward me._

 _"Join us" she said. I know those green eyes and mousy brown locks from anywhere. Penny._

 _Grabbing my hand with a giggle on her lips, she pulled me past the crowd until I was in the centre of the dancefloor. Looking left and right as we stood together for a moment, I listened to the music playing in the air and I could smell the different scents that surrounded me. Feeling something gentle tickle along the side of my face, I looked to see it was a white feather. Tilting my head back, I could see more of them. They seemed to be raining down from above to litter the floor like a blanket of soft snow._

 _Brought out of my daze, I looked back to Penny as she squeezed my hands. We were suddenly spinning in a circle and all the faces in the crowd surrounding us seemed to blur. Holding on tight, I didn't want to fall and for some reason I couldn't feel my feet as we moved "You don't have to hold on" she laughed "It's okay to let go" I didn't want to, I'd fall if I did "It's okay Rhaella, trust me. Just let go"_

 _Her hands slipped from mine and I lost my grip on the world as I fell backwards, but as I closed my eyes to brace for the pain of my landing – it never happened. Instead I felt soft grass beneath my fingertips. Opening my eyes, I was met with the night sky above; shining with glittering stars "I missed you" the voice was masculine and familiar._

 _Turning my head to the right, my heart skipped a beat to see it was Brendon laying down beside me; his attention on the sky "I miss being together, like we used to. Doing this" I replied with a nod to the stars "Without_ _you and Penny, it's not the same – it's gotten so quiet, so lonely"_

 _Brendon chuckled "You're not. You just don't know it yet. It'll get better" he turned on his side to look at me "Just open your eyes and see – trust me"_

 _I frowned "I am. I do" he shook his head._

 _"No Rhaella" moving to rest on top of me, I peered into Brendon's brown eyes as he hovered above; trailing a gentle finger to tuck a wisp of my hair away. Feeling his weight press on top of me, my chest felt heavy and it was uncomfortable to breathe "Stop holding on. You don't need to" leaning down, he pressed his warm lips against mine "Open your eyes"_

* * *

"Open your eyes"

Coughing, I turned to my side to splutter the water that had filled my lungs. Gasping, the air burnt my lungs and tears welled in my eyes as reality came crashing back down to me. Panting, the cold tiles against my wet naked skin made shiver and I could feel someone grabbing a hold of my arms to pull me into their lap.

Grabbing onto the black leather vest with a white knuckled grip, my cheek pressed against their chest as I hugged myself closer to the warmth and safety they were offering. Holding me in their arms, it took me a moment to realise the person was talking "What were you doing?" immediately I could tell that the voice belonged to Rhaegar. It was deep and filled with worry and slight anger.

"I was talking to them" I replied with a mouse like voice "It was only for a little while"

"Talking to who?" he sounded confused.

"Penny, and Brendon" I confirmed "They were telling me things. We were dancing for a little bit. In the Hall. And there were feathers coming from the sky. You should have seen it. It was like snow" I smiled "I've never seen snow before" I looked up at him "Will you take me? Please" I begged "I just want to see it, just once"

Peering down at me, Rhaegar had a frown on his face and I couldn't understand why he was looking at me the way he is – as if I'd said something completely absurd and unheard of. It was only snow. He slowly nodded "One day Rhaella, I'll take you to see the snow" I smiled.

Picking me up into his strong arms, Rhaegar carried me out of the bathroom and I shivered even more when the night breeze whirled in from the balcony "It's freezing" I chattered while trying to snuggle closer to him. Walking me over to my bed, he set me down onto my feet and I wrapped my arms around my body for warmth as Rhaegar grabbed one of my night gowns.

Almost completely air dried beside from my hair, Rhaegar slipped the thin crème coloured material over my head as I held my hands up. Feeling it drop down my body, I stepped forward and hugged his waist. Gently rubbing my back, I felt soothed with his touch but the moment wasn't lasting when the doors to my room busted open. Septa and a Maester had come charging in but soon stopped their flustering once they saw us.

"Thank the Gods" praised Septa "You're alright" turning to look at her, I could tell she was upset but relieved at the same time.

"Let the Maester look at you" said Rhaegar and I shook my head.

"No, I'm fine. I just want to go to bed. I'm tired" going to move, Rhaegar grabbed my arms and pushed me to sit on the edge of the mattress.

"I wasn't asking you" he replied firmly before taking a step back once he knew I wasn't going to move again. Sighing, the Maester stepped forward with his long white beard and cloudy blue eyes. He had a slight hunch in his back and he hobbled and rattled when he walked.

"How long was she underwater?" asked the Maester in an old croaked voice. Opening up the worn brown bag that he'd brought with him. He pulled out a few bottles and strange looking instruments.

"A couple of minutes" estimated Septa "I'm not quite sure. I went to check to see if she was alright and she'd already sunk down into the tub"

Stepping forward, the Maester held the back of his hand to my forehead before pulling away "She's rather cold, but she doesn't seem to be too disorientated. However, I'd keep a firm on her for the remainder of the night" he handed me a small blue bottle with liquid inside "Three drops tonight and two tomorrow" he instructed. Placing back his other vials and things back inside of his bag, he adjusted one of the chains that hung around his body "If anything should arise, see me immediately"

"Thank you Maester" Rhaegar spoke but his eyes never left me. Nodding, the old man hobbled to leave my room "Septa, would you bring a pot of tea from the kitchen"

"Yes your grace" she too left my room and there was no one now but me and him. Walking back over to me, Rhaegar held out his hand and I gave him the blue vial "Now that they're gone, tell me what happened"

"I was sitting in the bathtub, and I fell asleep" I replied simply. Didn't he already ask me this question before?

"You fell asleep?" he repeated and I nodded in agreement. There was a brief pause before he spoke again "From now on, you're not to be alone. No matter where you are, or what you're doing" standing up from the bed I gave him a slight shove against his firm chest. What was Rhaegar trying to say?

"No" I shook my head "I don't won't to be stalked and watched over. Not like last time. You're not going to keep controlling me because you're afraid" I bantered on "I didn't do it on purpose. It was accident"

"With you, _everything_ seems to be an accident" he replied sternly "You're not going to change my mind on the matter. You almost drowned tonight. Surely _you_ of all people should understand why I'm worried. Why I'm concerned"

"Why can't you trust me?" I whined.

"This isn't about _trust_ Rhaella. It's about your safety" he replied "I don't want you to do something you'll regret"

"So you'd rather I be miserable for the rest of my life?"

"You're doing that to yourself" he quickly retorted. Putting his hands on his hip, Rhaegar scoffed with light shake of his head "Ever since I returned you've been nothing but a sulking mess. Moping around the castle halls because _two_ people have left your life. I understood your pain in the beginning. I know it hurt and affected you. But you need to pick yourself up and move on. I'm not going to keep pushing you along because you can't muster the strength to do it yourself" he spoke firmly and honestly.

Turning away from his eyes, I looked down at the floor. Tugging and twisting a small piece of fabric of my nightgown, I felt a tightness form in the back of my throat. I felt my eyes start to sting again. Rhaegar sounds like Father right now – talking down at me, criticizing. Biting back the sobs, I focused on the soft fabric of my gown. Trying to block it all out. Trying to push through.

"It's time to stop crying. You're only hurting yourself more" hearing the door creak open, I could hear the small clink and rattle of a tea set as Septa walked in to set it on the dining table "Thank you Septa. That'll be all for tonight"

"Yes your grace" leaving back out the way she came. I felt the warmth of the Rhaegar's body leave me as he made his way over to the tea. Making up a cup, he dripped three drops into the steaming brew like the Maester had prescribed. Coming back over, he grabbed one of my hands and placed the saucer and cup in my hand.

"Drink. It'll make you feel better" moving without hesitation, I blew on the surface to cool the tea down before taking a sip. Finishing after a short while, Rhaegar took it from my hands and sat it on my bedside table.

Reaching past me, he pulled the blankets back on my bed and gestured with a nod of his head "It's time for bed" doing as he instructed, I climbed in underneath to lay in the middle.

After tucking me in, I thought Rhaegar might have left me for the night but instead he sat beside me; his back resting against the headboard. I remembered, he didn't want me alone. Shifting over, I rested my head on Rhaegars torso as his armed wrapped around me. Slowly the concoction in the tea had my eyes fluttering closed to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 _Summoned to the council chamber, Rhaegar sat at the head of the long wooden table along with the rest of the council members. Looking at a few sheets of parchment detailing in everything from expenses, design and a mile long list of names, it was time to make preparations for a rather big event – one that's been post-pone by a few weeks._

 _"Since you've been gone, we've planned as much as we could for the wedding. Particularly as of late, you're Father has been persistent that we start settling final decisions. It's nearing a month since the Princess's birthday" spoke Varys. A bald, round man and a eunuch, others liked to refer to him as The Spider. He's known for having many spies all throughout the Kingdom._

 _"I'm well aware of how long it's been" replied Rhaegar with sigh "There's been complications" he added._

 _"Regarding your sister and that boy, we know" spoke Tywin Lannister, the Hand of the King, as he sat on the chair to Rhaegars left. With golden hair and piercing blue eyes, he's the typical lion "And so does the rest of the Kingdom. I don't think it was wise to trail them through the streets like a parade. It aroused unnecessary attention when it could have been discreet – the people are gossiping and there are rumours circling the houses that your sister is no longer intact"_

 _"Then I'm sure they'll rest easy knowing the rumour is just that – a rumour" squeezing his hand into a light fist, Rhaegar felt angered about the idea of people whispering dirty and untrue things behind his sisters back – but it was to be expected giving the circumstances._

 _"I'd never call you a liar your grace, but how are they to know what you say is indeed true?" asked Varys with all the best intentions._

 _"What would you have me do? Hold up her skirt and let the whole world see for themselves?" Rhaegar asked with a slightly raised brow. He'd have their eyes gouged out and there tongue removed if they ever saw his sister like that. She was born for him and his eyes alone. No one else's. Dropping the parchment onto the table, Rhaegar leant back in his seat "The commoners and nobles have my word, they'll be wise not to question it"_

 _Varys nodded his head and the matter was quickly pushed aside. After all, no one wanted to flare the Targaryen's temper and in doing so, his madness. It was no hidden secret how cruel Rhaegars father Aegon had become over his many years of grief; using wildfire to perish his enemies. And like King Jaehaerys had once described, the two sided coin of greatness and madness had been tossed – and the world is still holding its breath to see how it will land._

 _"Finances" spoke Qarlton Chelsted, the Master of Coin "The wedding will be rather grand with enough entertainment and food for the hundreds of guests. I've spoken to the Iron Bank and they are more than willing to lend the crown the money required, as a good will gesture for the royal wedding"_

 _"Good" nodded Rhaegar. That was one less things to worry about "And who exactly is being invited?"_

 _"The Queen has gracefully gone to the trouble of arranging the guest list herself" Varys pointed to the parchment of listed names in elegant cursive writing "As far as I can tell, it consists of council members, a handful of nobles and all of the great houses – including the Martell's"_

 _Over the past few years there has been reasonable tension between the Martell's and Targaryen's over marriage. The ruling couple of Dorne swear their daughter, Elia Martell, to be a perfect match for the silver prince and the two were once betrothed in Rhaegars younger years. However, once the Queen gave birth to a healthy girl, the ties of betrothal had been cut. The Martell's were less than pleased with the fact and they often tried their hardest to persuade the royal family into reuniting their houses._

 _"They're more than welcome to join the celebration" spoke Rhaegar "As long as they don't cause a scene"_

 _"The entirety of the Kingsguard along with a few soldiers will be present on the day" spoke Tywin "And they've been firmly instructed on their duties. There shouldn't be any unnecessary complications"_

 _"Good. And what about other arrangements, have they been sorted?" asked Rhaegar as he skim read over a few pieces of information._

 _"Sleeping quarters have been arranged, the food is being delivered and the Martell's are bringing several barrels of their best Dornish wine as a wedding gift. It's plenty for the night and a few more" replied Varys "If things go according to plan, our guest will be arriving within the next couple of weeks"_

 _"Then pray to the Gods that all goes well" spoke Rhaegar "If it does, than this Kingdom will have a future King and Queen"_

 _With most of the arrangements finalised, it was now up to the King to give his final blessing on the matter. Once it was done, it wouldn't be long until the wedding reception is prepared and the castle walls are filled with even more men and woman than usual. Having such an extravagant event such as a royal wedding is most rare, but its times like these that houses form alliances. It'll be almost chaotic between the festivities and political chatter amongst the nobles._

 _Standing from his seat, the other council members did so as well with a bow of their heads in show of respect. But just as Rhaegar moved from his chair to exit the council chamber, he paused to listen to the blubbering voices coming from just outside the wooden door. Soon enough though, a flustered middle aged woman in servant clothing swung the door wide open. With wide eyes and pink tinged hands, the woman shockingly announced "The Queen has gone into labour"_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I'm back with another update! Just to let you know, I won't be posting for another couple of days since I'm going on a vacation. Also, I found a website recently where you can design your own dolls (childish I know, but meh) I though it would be fun for some of you. It's called Doll Divine and there's a Game of Thrones themed 'dress up' on there. It's not that bad, so I was thinking if you want to give it a go you could make your own version of what Rhaella or any other character might look like in your opinion (or make a character of your own). If you do, save it and send it to pandora10001 at outlook. com (had to type it that way for some reason) so I can have a look :) Cheers and as always, thanks for reading!**

My heart is almost beating out of my chest. I couldn't believe it when Septa told me the news – that my Mother is in labour. Ready to give birth to a third life. Gripping my skirt, I held it a little ways up from the ground so that I could walk faster. Rushing past a few people, I turned left down another corridor to the birthing room when I heard it – a vicious scream of pain. It echoed off of the walls and my throat tightened at the sound of it.

Mother.

Finding the large bedroom door just up ahead, I saw two guards standing posted on either side. Making it just in time, a servant girl stepped out. Her apron and hands are covered in sticky read as she held the blood soaked towels. I felt queasy at the sight of it. Not noticing my presence she went to rush away but I quickly stopped her "Wait" I called out. The servant girl turned to me a little wide eyed "My Mother. Is she alright?" I asked frantically.

She nodded "Yes my lady, the Queen is alright" her words gave me a sigh of relief "Please, your grace. I need to get fresh towels" she insisted.

I was about to speak when a deep voice from behind dismissed her "Go" almost jumping, the girl sped off and I turned around to see Rhaegar. Not hesitating, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed myself against his warm body. I needed the comfort.

"I'm worried" I confessed when another screech pierced our ears. Hugging him tighter I felt my whole body start to shake "Is it supposed to be like this? It sounds awful"

Wrapping his arms around me, Rhaegar held me tight "Mothers going to be fine Rhaella. It's painful for all woman" he replied "Try not to listen. It'll all be over soon" kissing the top of my head, Rhaegar continued to hold me in his arms.

I feel terribly and utterly afraid.

For hours on end our Mother continued to bellow screams and for all those hours, Father never once visited. I know men especially aren't allowed inside the room, but you'd think he would of have at least asked if she's alright – but of course, he never did "Has he always been like this?" I asked with a slight hiss in my voice as I paced up and down. Biting my edge of my nail, my eyes were void as I stared down at the ground.

"What would you have him do?" asked Rhaegar as he leant against the wall with his arms crossed "Stand here and listen to her scream? It's unpleasant, and it hasn't always been rewarding in the past" I know what he's trying to say. Mothers still births. Father probably didn't want to be disappointed again, but that was no excuse. He should be here anyway, just in case. It made me wonder if Father was absent for every birth except Rhaegars – even mine.

"And yet here you are, and here I am" I retorted.

Rhaegar sighed before take a couple steps over to me. Tugging me stop my no doubt irritating pacing, I looked up at him "You don't have to stay" he said "It would be better if you went and did something else with your time. When it's over I'll send someone to get you"

I shook my head "No, I'm not going to leave. I'll worry no matter where I am. I want to stay" I argued.

"Then stop pacing. You're giving us all a headache" shrugging myself from Rhaegars hold I walked to the nearby wall and leant against it. Twitching every now and then as mid-wives and servants exited and entered the room, the sight of their bloodied clothes and items had me swallowing dryly.

Is this what I have to look forward to?

Glancing over at Rhaegar, he had gone back to his previous position against the wall. So far he hasn't left even once since he arrived and I was comforted by the thought. It shows he cares enough to want to stay and that like me, he's at least a little worried; as we all should be. It's an intense time. It made me wonder how I'd _survive_ it all. All the pain. It looked gruesome to give birth, but I suppose the end result is worth it all.

Feeling a little tired as the night took hold of the sky, my eyes fluttered with fatigue every now and then. Yawning, I hadn't noticed the usual level of noise had quietened until the door opened and I looked up to see an older woman – the mid-wife. She has a smile on her face "Your Mother has given birth to a healthy baby boy"

Immediately I perked up at the announcement. A little shocked, it took me a moment to speak "Can we see her?" I asked hopeful. She nodded. Stepping forward, Rhaegar followed along behind me and I didn't realise I was holding my breath until my lungs started to burn. There were three other woman cleaning up the room and the air smelled coppery.

Feeling Rhaegars strong hands rest on my shoulders, I looked to finally see our Mother sitting up in the large bed. The linens had been changed and her silver hair platted to the side as she held the precious bundle in her arms. Looking up at us, she smiles and ushered us over to her bedside "He's beautiful, isn't he?" spoke Mother as she tucked back the fabric around the little babes face.

"He is" I replied with a smile so big my cheeks hurt "What are you going to name him?"

"Viserys" she answered, after our ancestor. It's a good name. A moment passed as we watched the babe breathe soft breaths, his tiny thin lips moving ever so slightly. His eyes didn't open. It looked as if he were sleeping "Would you like to hold him?" Mother then asked. Tearing my eyes away, I was a little stunned and hesitant. He's so small and fragile I didn't want to do anything that might harm him. I've never held a new born before.

Before I could reply, Mother held him out for me and I couldn't not accept. Cradling Viserys in my arms ever so gently, he was almost as light as a feather. Looking down at his face, his skin is the typical pale shade and I could already see small strains of the familiar silver hair.

A true born Targaryen.

* * *

After giving birth to Viserys, Mother was exhausted from the gruelling hours and hard work and so she spent the rest of the night and the following day asleep in her bed. And after hearing the news that he'd been blessed with yet another living son, Father had demanded we have a feast tonight in honour and celebration of Viserys' birth. Of course, all the nobles living in the castle and a little ways from the city walls had been invited to participate in the event.

It was just into the afternoon when I'd decided to visit my baby brother. Entering a medium sized room, there was a small balcony letting in the rays of warm light from outside and a grand cot had been pushed up against a nearby wall with a willowing canopy on top. There were also other pieces of furniture decorating the room such as draws, a changing bench and a small round table with two cushioned chairs.

Sitting on one of these chairs is Viserys wet-nurse, a middle aged woman with curly brown hair and green eyes. Nestled in her arms I could tell he was sleeping and as she looked up at me, I gestured with my hand "Don't get up" I whispered quietly. I didn't want to disturb the babe from his sleep.

Walking the rest of the way, I came to gaze down at his still form. His little noes flared a little as he breathed and his eyes were closed. I wondered if he'd ever open them for me as I had yet to see. I wanted to know what they look like. Would they be as deep as his older brothers, or would they be as light as his Mothers? Either way, I know they'll be beautiful.

A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I continued to watch. I didn't think such a common thing could be so fascinating, but it was. He's so calm, so unbothered by the world and everything that's going on. He's innocent and pure, the way we all start off and very few of us ever get to stay. After a few more minutes I thought it would be best if I left them, and I also needed to get ready for tonight's feast.

Exiting the nursery, I gently closed the door with a light click. For a brief moment I'd forgotten about the guards until they appeared in my line of sight; glinting gold. Rhaegar kept true to his word about me never being left alone and he had yet to order them away, so where ever I went so did the guards. Walking back down the hall, they were silent as they followed me. They never spoke or made casual talk, instead the only sound they made was the clanking of their chain mail and armour.

Eventually find my way back, the guards stopped outside to take up residence on either side of my bedroom door. Sighing as I went inside, Septa looked up from her place the wooden table "Is your brother doing well?" she asked curiously.

I nodded in response "Yes, he is" walking over to my bed I saw a dress had been lain out along with a corset, shoes and stockings "What's this?" I questioned with a raised brow.

"It's one of your news dresses your grace. I thought you might like to wear it to the celebration" reaching out to touch the fabric, it felt nice against my skin. An elegant type of gown, it was simple but still flattering with long sleeves and delicate embroidery.

I turned "Yes, I think I will. It's beautiful" it might even become one of my favourite to wear.

"Then I will help you dress. It's getting dark and we wouldn't want to be late for the occasion" replied Septa with a knowing tone and look on her aged face. Of course, the last thing I needed is Father causing a scene in front of everyone. Although, it wouldn't be the first time.

Getting out of my old dress and undergarments, I slipped on the new ones and Septa helped me with the lacing of the corset. Pulling on the rose coloured strings, I felt my waist being formed to become curvaceous and smooth "Does it have to be this tight?" I questioned with a slight frown, my lips parted.

Leaning against one of the bed posts, Septa continued to tug "It's proper for a young lady of your standing to be properly laced into her corset. If it isn't tight then it defeats the purpose of having one" she replied as my body jolted back and a small gasp left my lips.

"I understand it's purpose, but I'm sure it doesn't involve me being barely able to breathe" I retorted.

"I'm sure you'll be fine your grace. Woman have been wearing these for hundreds of years and I haven't heard of anyone dying from it" I didn't argue any further. I suppose it only had to be this tight for tonight.

When the tugging and pulling had eventually stopped, Septa tied the laces into a neat bow before helping me into my dress. Folding it over in the middle, she clipped it into place I turned to look at myself in the mirror "It looks better than I thought it would" I said while smoothing my hands down my stomach. I could feel the soft fabric and hard corset underneath.

"I'm sure anything you wear would look beautiful on you your grace" I smiled at Septa's comment. She always says things like that, ever since I was a little girl.

Heading over to sit on the edge of the bed, Septa slipped on my stockings and I hooked them onto my garter belt. After placing on my shoes I went and sat at my vanity table while Septa fixed my hair into a proper style of a few elegant braids, while leaving the rest to flow down against my back; a few strands hanging over my slender shoulders.

"Now, you are ready" spoke Septa as we both looked at our reflection in the mirror.

* * *

Filled with a warm glow and music, seats had been placed in the Great Hall so that our guests could sit and partake in the freshly cooked meat and endless flow of wine. Filling a cup of my own, I continued to sip on the ruby liquid and I found myself becoming more talkative than usual. Walking along through the crowds of people, everyone seemed rather happy as they mingled and enjoyed each other's company.

Walking up from my left, a middle aged woman with tight curly brown hair and hazel eyes curtsied before me alongside a girl near my age, if not a little younger. I could only assume they're mother and daughter as they look so much alike "Please accept our congratulations" the older woman spoke with a smile "Its joyous news to hear the safe delivery of your little brother"

"Thank you" I replied with a nod. Even though I've been bombarded with many of the same speeches, I still kept a warm and kind face. I was never once rude and I always engaged as much as I could. I thought if I was going to start making impressions, now is as a good a time as any to start, and besides, the wine also helped.

"Forgive us if we were interrupting, but I'd very much like to introduce ourselves. My name is Britta Thorne and this is my daughter, Annabeth" spoke the older woman with a gesture to the girl beside her. With the same curly hair and eyes as her mother, Annabeth is just a little shorter than me and I could see little freckles decorating her nose and apple round cheeks.

"Hello" I greeted. It wasn't uncommon for this to happen. I often always get one or two people introducing their sons and daughters, and it's always for the sheer reason of gaining higher social status.

Annabeth was a little quiet as she replied "Hello…your grace" she added. Watching as her hazel eyes kept flickering to the floor I could clearly see that she's a shy and nervous girl, not used to this particular type of crowed – royalty and high nobles.

I turned to look at Britta "I believe a man by the name of Allisa Thorne is a knight in my Fathers Kingsguard. Is there any relation?"

She nodded "Yes, Alliser is my older brother. We recently moved from our home to join him in court" she replied "We've been settling in rather well for the past few days, but as you can see my daughter is rather shy. She's having trouble adjusting and finding new friends"

"I'm sure you'll find plenty. We're not all as bad as we seem" I spoke towards Annabeth with a little jest in my voice. She gave me a hint of smile in return, clearly a little uncomfortable. I gestured to the dance floor "Why don't we go dance? It's a beautiful night for it" I suggested. Maybe it might make her happy.

Looking over to her mother, Britta nodded encouragingly with a slight nudge of her hand "Go on" I could tell Annabeth's mother is somewhat of a forceful woman and I felt a little sad at the fact. Setting my cup down on a nearby table, Annabeth stepped forward and we made our way down to the other end of the Great Hall.

"I know it can all be daunting" I started "It's a large and foreign place, but I promise you the girls here in the castle are very nice. If you'd like I could introduce you to them"

"That's very thoughtful of you your grace. I would appreciate it" she replied.

I nodded "Good. Then I'll make the arrangements for some time this week" making our way through the parted crowd hovering around the dancefloor, we waited for the current song to finish. Once it had, we moved in and got ourselves into position. This particular dance is one reserved for the females only as it's a show of elegance and positive light.

Holding each other's hands, Annabeth looked up at me "I'm not very good at dancing" she whispered "I'm nervous"

"Don't worry about them" I replied with a slight gesture to the people watching us "I just pretend that they aren't there and it's just me"

Hearing the violins and cello's begin to play we started off nice and slow, easy steps to here and there. But as the song progressed, the sound of the music became more upbeat and festive. Soon all of our hands were joined together as we danced in one big circle. Looking over to my left, I saw Annabeth was smiling just liked I'd hoped she would; her tight curly hair bouncing as she danced.

Coming down from the high after we finished, we'd both gone to stand off to the side to catch our breaths. I could feel my heart racing as the adrenaline ran its course "I want to thank you for tonight. I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would" spoke Annabeth as she stood in front of me "And I also feel the need to apologise"

"Apologise?" I questioned with a frown. What would she need to do that for?

"Yes" she said with a nod "My mother can be – _eager_. I don't want you to be offended in anyway about her straightforwardness tonight. I know it must be obvious about what she wants"

I placed my hand on her arm "I understand and I haven't been offended, so please don't worry yourself" breathing out a small sigh of relief, Annabeth nodded her head. But as she went to speak, her hazel eyes had wandered a little higher above my head and in a blink of an eye she'd gone straight back to the reclusive and shy girl from before.

Turning around to see who or what it is, I found the person responsible to be none other than Rhaegar. He'd come to stand right behind me and I wondered how I didn't feel his presence since he's so close. Flicking my gaze back to Annabeth, she had managed to disappear into the crowd "Is she a new friend of yours?" asked Rhaegar.

"No" I said with a shake of my head "But you frightened her away none the less" I turned to look up at him "Did you need something?"

"Mother would like to see you" he explained before holding out his arm for me to take. Linking mine with his, we walked back down to the other end of the Hall where Mother sat with the bundled infant in her arms. I noticed that the tall seat beside her is absent our Father.

"He demanded there be a celebration and then he leaves not even halfway through" I spoke as we walked "It makes me wonder why he bothered in the first place" I huffed. Some things my Father does never makes complete sense.

"It doesn't matter if he leaves" replied Rhaegar "He's still honouring his child. Another living son"

"And it doesn't make you jealous?" I questioned with a slight tease in my words.

"Why should it? Because he's a boy?" he asked and I nodded. It's not uncommon for brothers to have rivalry "Of course not. There's no reason for me to be jealous. I know what's mine – this kingdom and you. And when Viserys grows older he'll either learn his place in the world or I'll show him"

I looked away "Your right" I replied "I doubt you'll have to worry" after all Rhaegars always been Fathers favourite. His pride and joy. The perfect son. And the people love him as well. He doesn't have to worry about his throne, or me for that matter. As he mentioned before I am his, and I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

Making my way up the few raised steps, I had let go of Rhaegars arm so that I could walk over to Mother and she looked up at me with a smile on her face "There you are" she gleamed "I've barely seen you all night. Come. Come" she ushered and I stepped a little closer to her side "Here, hold him for a little while"

Holding my arms out, she placed the little babe and I cradled him firmly but still gently. A bit wigglier since he's now fully awake, Viserys looked up at me and for the first time, I saw his little round eyes. They weren't as dark as Rhaegars or as light as our Mothers like I'd thought, but they were a beautiful mix in-between; surrounded by thick black lashes.

"He likes you" commented Mother as she watched me.

"How can you tell?"

"He doesn't scream when you hold him. He's calm" she explained. A small, light chuckle left my lips "You'll do well as a mother, with children of your own" I was a little startled once her words sunk in. I felt as if children were a life time away, perhaps not.

Taking a brief glance around, Rhaegar wasn't by my side. He must've gone off to re-join the festivities "I don't think I'm ready quite yet"

"I don't think anyone woman ever is" replied Mother "It's a big responsibility. You're caring and raising a child. A human. A lot of energy and work goes into it, but it the end it'll all payoff – when you see what I see. Two of my children all grown up to be fine young adults" a pause hung in the air "You're worried, aren't you?"

I sighed from my obviousness "I don't want this life to repeat itself. I don't want Rhaegar to become distant and cruel because of the crown he'll one day wear – I don't want him to become like our Father" I admitted.

Mother nodded in understanding "Unfortunately we can't predict the future. But you know the reasons as to why your Father is the way he is" said Mother "Suffering can damage a man's mind. It can change you"

"Which is why I worry more every day. Who's to say it won't be the same for us?" peering down at Viserys as he sucked on his thumb, his eyes flickered here and there with interest; completely undisturbed by our conversation "I want to give Rhaegar everything he deserves without ruining him along the way"

Mother didn't say anything in return. She wasn't going to make me empty promises and tell everything will be alright. That I'll have plenty of healthy children with nothing to worry about. It wasn't like Mother to do that to me, and I thanked her for it. If your filled to the brim with high hopes, it only hurts that much more when everything around you comes crashing down.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N I'm back from holiday with another update! Hope you guys enjoy and as always, let me know what you think in the review section down below or PM if it suits you :) Cheers.**

Standing in front of the full length mirror, I swallowed back the yawn that threatened to leave my lips as it built in the back of my throat. Up bright and early this morning I've been standing in this one tiring position for hours on end with only a few bits of conversation to keep me going. Glancing up at my reflection, the middle aged Seamstress hovered around me with her measuring tape and books filled with designs and pencil sketches.

Discussing ideas for the wedding dress earlier on, she was quite enthusiastic but I found it hard to follow what she was saying as her Dornish accent is quite thick. But I admit, the woman has a good eye for detail and I like the way she's going with the dress so far. If only it didn't take so long.

Draped in thin white material, the Seamstress took a few pins and placed it along where she needed them to go. Eventually taking a step away, her brown eyes looked me up and down before she stepped forward again "You like the fit?" she questioned while running the palm of her hand over my stomach and up the length of my back.

I nodded "I do" it's not too tight, but form fitting and comfortable.

"Good" holding the book for me to see, she pointed at a column of numbers "Measurements of you" she flipped the page to reveal a sketch of the dress we'd designed together "To fit dress" I nodded again in understanding. Shutting the book, she sat it down on a nearby table before starting to take out all of the pins from the thin white material "I will make the dress for the wedding. Take it to here and help you. It will be ready by your day" she explained.

I smiled "Thank you" while shrugging off the thin white material. Now I was left in just my day dress. Curtsying, the Seamstress then grabbed her book and headed out of my bedroom door. Stepping down from the stool, I stretched my arms before sighing. My back and feet hurt from standing for so long but I couldn't rest now. I'd agreed earlier this week to join Mother in the garden for lunch once the Seamstress was done with me.

After checking to make sure I was presentable, I headed out of my bedroom. The guards Rhaegar had _provided_ where of course following me every step as I made my way down and across the large expanse of the Keep to reach the Royal Gardens. And once I was there, I stopped in the first beam of sunlight so that I could soak up its warm rays. The breath of fresh air is relaxing and I hummed in satisfaction before moving on down the brick pathway.

Wounding around one of the large fountains gushing with water, I headed for the undercover area that over looked the Ocean; it had been set up with a beaded cloth table and plenty of food. Watching Mother as she sat in on one of the seats, her attention was currently on the infant in her arms as she cooed down at him.

"Mother" I announced as I neared. Looking up, she smiled while gesturing for me to sit. The guards stopped a few steps away to give us _some_ amount of privacy and besides, there wasn't anywhere I could run off too.

"And how was your morning with the Seamstress?" she asked "Was she satisfactory?"

"Yes, she was. We discussed the designs and made a finale a decision. I think you'll like the dress when you see it" I replied while sitting down. Coming over to me with a jug of wine, I let the servant poor me a cup of the ruby liquid before picking it up and taking a sip of the strong sweet flavour.

"You're drinking wine?"

I admit, I don't drink the substance often "I've had a long and tiring morning" I explained and Mother laughed before glancing down at Viserys "Is he doing well? This is the first I've seen him outside" ever since he was born a week ago, Father hasn't approved of his new son being out in the open. Viserys is usually up in the nursery or with Mother in her room.

"I managed to convince your Father. It isn't healthy for Viserys to be locked away in the dark for so long. He needs the sun so he can grow strong and tall like his brother" she replied.

I agreed "And besides, all the clutter in his room couldn't be helping" I slightly jested. For days since the celebration, people from all over Westeros and Essos have been adorning my baby brother with gifts of all sorts – and there _still_ coming. Viserys has even been sent one of the finest horse's money could buy and he can't even walk yet, let alone ride.

"I wonder if there'll ever be a day where it'll all stop" replied Mother with a small sigh "But never the less, it's better to receive a gift than not, and accept it with a wide smile – no matter what it may be" pausing with silence, I continued to eat a few things here and there before I heard Mother "Leave us" she spoke to the servant and my escorts. The guards were hesitant at first but eventually left when my Mother gave them a firm look.

My brows knitted into confusion as I watched them walk away, the Kingsguard's armour clinking as they strode down the pathway to stop off in the far distance. Turning to Mother, I asked "Why did you do that?" while setting down the half remainder of my strawberry tart.

"I need to speak to you about something important, and I didn't think you'd want me to say it in front of them. You know how they like to gossip" she replied. A little tightness formed in my chest at all the bad thoughts that suddenly crossed my mind. Is there something wrong? Is someone sick? I felt a little dread and panic before an immediate deep flush of red flooded my cheeks "Your wedding night" she added.

Almost chocking on the few bits of left over crumbs and saliva in my mouth, I sat up right in my chair as the warmth of embarrassment coursed through my body. Surely there's a proper place and time for this sought of talk. I don't think the open garden is quite the place and especially while I'm eating. I already feel a little light headed and Mother's barely said anything yet.

"My – wedding night" I repeated in a whisper and slight stutter.

"Yes" she replied while gently patting Viserys back in a light rhythm "I know the subject is sensitive for you, it has been for years. But as your Mother I worry. I think it would be wise you knew"

"I know"

Mother raised an eyebrow in uncertainty "I don't think you do Rhaella. There's a difference between the little fantasy gossips of a girl, than the truth of reality"

"Just because I don't talk about it, it doesn't mean I'm naïve" I defended "I've heard all about it from the other woman in the castle. I know it's not the most glamorous of things at first and I know it's not painless – and as for the rest"

"You'll learn soon enough" finished Mother. Almost immediately I sighed before slouching in my seat, the jealousy conjured by my thoughts seeping into my veins. Mother's somewhat stern expression softened "I know what you're thinking, and there's no use in being angered by it. It's a simple fact all women must accept"

"That he's been with a woman or women other than me?" I almost scowled back "How are we supposed to accept the blatant acts of men, when _we_ ourselves must wait until marriage and then never touch anyone but him? It isn't fair"

"Life isn't fair" Mother replied and I scoffed. How many times has someone said that to me? Too many "But when you are married, it'll change"

"Or it won't" I retorted.

Mother look at me before glancing at the guards who are now stationed further away "He hasn't taken them from your side I see" I didn't reply "He's only trying to protect you. He worries" she justified.

"So everyone keeps telling me, but I don't understand why. There's no reason to. I'm fine. I didn't try to drown myself on purpose, but no matter what I say no one will listen to me" I replied "I can see it in their faces. They all think I'm this fragile girl that's breaking down when I'm not – I've accepted my past and I'm trying to move on"

"It's difficult I know" nodded Mother "But it's only for now. When he's comfortable, things will move back to the way they were – they may even be forgotten all together" I can only hope. I don't know what I'd do if this is the way I'd have to live the rest of my life; constantly being watched and criticized.

It would be complete torment.

* * *

After the lengthy conversation with Mother, we'd settled on more pleasant topics for the remainder of the lunch. With the afternoon soon fast approaching, I'd decided it was time to head back to the castle. Getting up from my seat, I rounded the table to kiss my Mother on the cheek "I had a good lunch. Thank you for inviting me"

"Your Father wants us to have dinner tonight" announced Mother "Try not to be late"

I nodded my head "I'll endeavour not to be" planting a gentle peck on Viserys' forehead, I then started my trek back to the Keep. Walking down the bricked path with green hedges either side speckled with an array of colourful flower, I'd approached the guards and they fell into step behind me once again. Not a word leaving their lips.

Crossing the fountain and the rest of the garden, I entered into the main large courtyard; my gaze to the ground when I heard the sound of horse hooves clicking along. Looking up, I found a young servant boy leading the giant beast I knew to be Rhaegars horse into the stables. Following closely behind, I watched the boy as he secured the horse inside his stall and when he saw me approach he turned to bow his head in respect.

"Your grace" he murmured in greeting.

"Did Rhaegar go riding today?" I asked while walking up to the horse and softly petting its forehead; its beady black eyes staring back at me.

"No your grace. I was exercising him for the day. The Prince likes to keep him active" he explained. Bending over, I picked up a small bundle of hay and fed the horse. Its snout nuzzled my hand as he greedily took the food with a grind of his teeth "Apologise, but did you need something your grace?"

"No" I said with a shake of my head. Dusting my hands, I turned and left the stables without another word. Heading across the courtyard to the double doors of the Keep, I entered inside and slowly made my way to my room. Feeling a little exhausted as I climbed the stairs, it wasn't fatigue as such but as if my energy had somehow been drained. I felt a sense of melancholy.

Walking the rest of the way, I entered into my room and the guards stayed outside as usual "Back already your grace" Septa got up from her spot by the fire place, an embroidery hoop in hand.

"Yes, I'm not feeling all too well" I explained "I think I'll lay down for a little while"

"Are you sure you don't need the Maester?" I shook my head. The last thing I need right now is an old man poking and prodding at me.

"No. I'll be alright" I said with a hint of a smile.

Setting down her embroidery, Septa flattened the skirt of her grey dress before departing toward the door "I'll leave you to your rest then" leaving the room, I was left alone in silence apart from the crackling wood in the fire place. Taking a deep breath, I went over to the balcony and slid closed the folding doors in order to block out the day light. And on my way to my vanity I unclipped the ruby red necklace from around my throat, but just as I was taking out my earing's the door opened again.

"Did you leave something behind?" I called over my shoulder as my back faced the door, but as Septa didn't answer and the door closed with a thud I turned around to see who it was. I sighed "What are you doing here?" it was Rhaegar.

Placing my jewellery into the bowel on my vanity table, Rhaegar approached me "I wanted to ask how your fitting was today"

"It went well" I replied "I found something I liked and she'll have it made and ready for next week" standing in front of me, Rhaegars deep eyes weren't focused on me exactly but rather on something in my hair "What's wrong?" I asked with a confused expression as he reached out to pluck something from my silver locks. Holding it up to me, it was revealed to be a straw of hay.

"Where else were you today?" his voice was solid with a hint of accusation.

I wanted to roll my eyes and slap him at the same time "I stopped to pet your horse in the stable on my way back from lunch with Mother" I answered firmly. I'm doubting what Mother said to me earlier, I don't think he'll ever really forget. The past will always be there to bite me like it is now "If you don't believe me, ask your guards – since there _still_ following me"

Making my way over to my bed, Rhaegar grabbed my arm to tug me into his chest. He held me in his arms as I looked up at his face "I'd prefer it if _you_ told me the truth"

"I _am_ telling you the truth"

"Then I believe you" he said. Eyeing him carefully, I was a little hesitant at his reply. I was expecting us to have an argument. I didn't expect him to ' _give in_ ' so soon. Pulling on my arm to try and free myself from his hold, Rhaegar didn't let me go. Instead he leant down to kiss me. His soft lips warm and inviting.

Returning the favour for a few moments, I felt Rhaegars firm hands wandering down to rest on my waist and I pushed my hand against his chest "What are you doing?" I asked sceptically. He didn't answer me. Instead, he picked me up from the ground and a small gasp left my lips as my hands rested on his shoulders for balance.

Opening my mouth to ask him again, I was cut from my words when Rhaegar dropped us down onto the feather stuffed mattress. Bouncing a little as his weight pressed down on top of me, his body rested between my legs; my dress riding up past my thighs. Looking down at me with his deep eyes, I felt the pad of his thumb tickle me as he gently brushed it over my bottom lip.

"Why aren't you answering me?" I questioned.

"Because I don't have to" he replied "Because I'd rather do something else with my mouth other than talk" an unexpected warm heat fluttered in my belly, however I was completely confused as to what Rhaegar is talking about. Pressing his lips back against mine, I'd soon forgotten for a short amount of time as we kissed.

Brushing the ends of his fingers up along my right thigh to slither underneath my dress, Rhaegar dipped his hand inside my undergarments and a hitched moan escaped me as he found my sensitive bundle of nerves. Kissing him more feverishly as he ran smooth, deep circles, I could feel my body tremble from nerves and excitement.

Pressing a small peck on the corner of my mouth, he wandered them down the side of my face and along my neck. My breaths were laboured as my eyes fluttered closed to feel the warmth of Rhaegars lips trailing further down to the top of my breasts. Hooking his arms under my knees he pushed me a little ways up the bed with a quick thrust of his strong arms. Leaning up on my elbows to peer down at him, I raised an arched brow as Rhaegar knelt on the floor at the edge of the bed.

"Kneeling before me already?" I jested at the site.

"Only for you" Rhaegar replied in a deep voice, his eyes locking with mine as he reached up my dress to hook his fingers in the waist band of my undergarment. Pulling them down my legs to discard them onto the floor, I watched curiously confused. What in the world is he doing? Pushing the skirt of my dress to rest at my hips, my knee's closed to touch together instinctively "Relax"

"I can't" I replied with a shiver. I suddenly felt cold and utterly exposed to his plain view.

"Lay back and close your eyes – trust me" looking at Rhaegar for a second longer, I decided to do what he said – to trust him. Laying back, I stared up at the canopy of my bed before closing my eyes to darkness. Wrapping his warm fingers around my ankles, he positioned them so that the backs of my knees rested on his strong, broad shoulders. I could feel it then as he lent closer – his warm breath fanning over my thighs and the tingling area in-between.

Fisting the sheets in my hands, the anticipation made my stomach flutter until a fiery desire suddenly took over. The wave of warmth worked its way up from the tips of my toes to settle into a tingle at the back of my throat. Dragging his wet, textured tongue from my entrance to the sensitive bundle at the top felt like a luscious gentle whip of pleasure.

Squeezing my eyes so tight I could almost see stars, he did it again and again – one lick at a time. It clicked then about what Rhaegar meant before, it made sense. I now know what he wanted to use his mouth for and if it weren't for the incredible twist I was feeling, I would have giggled. But instead the only noise I could make were moans.

Swirling and grinding his tongue, I could feel the ache begin to form in the pit of my belly and a trail of wet slick drip down to soak a spot into my bed covers. Plunging his tongue inside of me, my back arched a little as I opened my eyes to look down at the sight of Rhaegars face buried between my legs. The faint of echo of slippery wet sounds making me blush a no-doubt deep red. Focusing on the pleasure as it build higher and higher, I somehow felt the need for something _more_. I just wasn't quite sure what it was exactly.

Remaining unrelenting in his ministrations, Rhaegar never once stopped but instead he kept going and going until the walls of my internal damn started to crumble. Feeling a slight sheen of sweat form on my porcelain skin, the room became hot as my toes started to curl. Holding onto my thighs so that my legs didn't involuntarily close on his head, Rhaegar's slippery tongue left me to soon be replaced with two of his long, thick fingers.

Pushing them deeper and deeper inside of me, I felt my walls stretching a little uncomfortably as they did. Wincing a little, I bit my bottom lip as my head turned to the side; my brows knitted together. Placing his mouth back onto my bundle of nerves he licked and sucked while slowly driving his fingers in and out of me at a hypnotic pace. It felt better than before. I felt in a sense – _full_ , but not as much as I really craved.

Picking up the speed of his hand, it started to hit the right spot inside of me and I mewled and moaned embarrassing sounds that I was too _intoxicated_ to really care about. Getting up from the ground, Rhaegar didn't stop as he climbed back on top of me; my legs falling from his shoulders. Spreading them wider myself and a little higher angled, he kept going as he latched his mouth onto mine. I could smell and taste the sweet flavour on his mouth.

Wrapping my arms around his neck to keep him close to me and a little still, my legs started to tremble and twitch as the coil in my belly wound tighter by the second. Thrusting his fingers particularly deep, it was enough for the gush of pleasure take over me in almost paralysis. Gripping the leather of his black vest for something to hold onto, I muffled my loud moan into his shoulder.

Feeling my muscles spasm and clench around him in aftershocks, Rhaegar slowly pulled his fingers out as I still clung to his vest; my legs slouching on the bed either side of his waist. I feel exhausted and breathless as my chest heaved. Nuzzling my cheek on his shoulder as I tried to regain myself, I could feel his fingers massage along the slick folds between legs; smearing the sticky flow around and a little onto my thighs. But I involuntarily twitched when he ran over my clit, the sensitivity making me wince – and then he stopped and moved his hand away, letting me come down from my euphoric high.

Unlatching myself when Rhaegar pulled away from me, I watched as he stood up before making his way to the adjoining bathing room. Coming back a short moment later, he held a towel and was wiping his fingers dry. With my legs still wide open in a limp like state, he started wipe away at the wetness and grabbed his arm to sit up "Why do you do this? It can't be _just because you can_ "

He looked down at me "And what if it is?"

"Then I don't believe you" I replied "What's the real reason? Are you jealous?" I quirked an eyebrow "Lonely?"

He chuckled "It's for your own benefit" it was answer, but it could also mean a lot of things. Benefit for what exactly "Would you prefer it if I stop?"

"I wouldn't let you touch me if I didn't want you to" I answered "I'm just – curious"

"You're always looking for an answer. Maybe you should stop worrying as to _why_ and just enjoy _what_ happens and _when_ " leaning down, he gave me a brief kiss "Life is a lot more exciting that way" watching Rhaegar as he dropped the towel onto the nearby table, I tugged down my dress and stood up. I could feel the dull sore ache now present between my thighs – just like last time.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Another update! This is a bit of a filler chapter, but it's all to lead up for the grand event to follow (And for the people who've read a majority of my stories, you know I rarely ever make fillers. There's hype everywhere with me) But anyway, cheers for reading :) And shout out to lac3ykittens for saying you could believe this being in Game of Thrones, that seriously made my day so thanks :)**

With the days passing one after the other, noble men and woman from all over Westeros poured into the city gates to take residence inside the great Keep. I don't think I've ever had to greet so many people in my entire life, and almost all of them I've never personally met before. Even the Great Houses have ventured to the Capitol; everyone from the Tyrells of Highgarden to the Starks of Winterfell. I knew then that the wedding was going to be an event far bigger than I'd realised.

"I'd like to thank you again for taking the time to introduce me to your friends" spoke Annabeth Thorne as she walked beside me, my _personal_ guards trailing a little ways back "I know you've been rather busy with all the arrangements needed for your wedding tomorrow"

The fact is almost hard to believe. My nerves have already set in for the big occasion and I was trying to take my mind off of it as much as I could. Even at night I tossed and turned for hours trying to find sleep. Time seems to be going so fast all of sudden I wondered if I was really ready for it all to happen.

I smiled "It's no trouble. I'm glad that I can help you"

Walking along the hedged pathways of the Royal Garden, we were currently heading to the grassy patch of lawn where I used to picnic with the other noble children and once close friends. But ever since not-too-recent events, I hadn't found it in me to return to the people and place I'd once found happiness in, and so slowly I'd forgotten it all – until now.

Coming up near the familiar waterfall, I could hear the giggles and chatter coming from the group as we approached. Watching them, one of the boys caught our site and he nudged his friend with his shoulder and in doing so gained the whole groups attention. Quickly the noise had died to just the sound of rushing water as they all stood up "Your grace" they all bowed and curtsied.

There was a moment of silence until Evelyne spoke "It's been a long time. We didn't think you'd ever come back" I could see the look in all their faces; a mixture of sadness, surprise and happiness. They all know the reason why I didn't come back but despite my disappearance over the last couple of months, I came to realise that none of them had ever actually come to see or talk to me afterwards. Although I suppose I was never really _good_ friends with all of them "Are you going to join us for lunch? We just started" she added, trying to change the dull and somewhat hurtful topic.

"No unfortunately, but I would like to introduce you to someone" I gestured to Annabeth as she stood shy and awkward like "She and her mother recently moved from their home to join us here in the castle"

"Annabeth Thorne, isn't it?" A boy of fifteen took a step forward. With swept back blonde hair and green eyes, I knew him to be Harrison Cromwell. I used to play hide and seek with him. Wiping his hands off on his breeches, he introduced himself to the girl beside me "Harrison. It's a pleasure"

I felt an unknowing smile tug at the corner of my lip as he kissed the back of Annabeth's hand. Noticing her pinkish cheeks, he took her hand in his and Harrison was about to lead her over to the picnic area when she looked back at me with her hazel eyes "Would you please stay a little while?" she asked me with a hopeful look.

I considered the offer for a moment when I locked eyes with Evelyne, she too had a hopeful look. With an inaudible sigh, I nodded "For a little while" I agreed. Watching the others sit back down, Annabeth sat next to Harrison and I could tell they are already very smitten with each other. It gave me a slight tingle in my chest; the familiarity of the situation – it reminded me of the day I'd first met Brendon.

Catching the figure of Evelyne next to me, I turned to look at her "I want to apologise – " she started.

"There's nothing to apologise for" I interjected "I'd rather leave the past where it belongs – behind me" I added. I have no desire to talk about Brendon or Penny. It isn't necessary. Walking over to the rest of the group, I sat down on a vacant spot.

Offered a cup of tea, I sipped on the hot beverage and as the others talked, I never once joined in. Sitting here with all these familiar faces makes me feel more uncomfortable than anything, and the obvious tension in the air isn't helping. I could tell no one knows what to say to me or how to act. They're opening up to Annabeth better than they are me; a person they've known for years. I don't think it'll ever be the same.

I was right for not returning.

Peering off into the distance every once and a while, I didn't pay attention all that much but soon the lunch was over. Standing up from the ground, I dusted my dress from any stray blades of grass. Coming over to me with a bounce in her step, Annabeth smiled with her apple round cheeks "Thank you for staying as long as you did. I do appreciate it very much" she gestured behind her where I saw Harrison was also waiting "The others are going to teach me a game. Would you like to play?"

"I'm afraid I can't. I have a few things that need to be taken care of before tomorrow" it was a lie, but it was easier than voicing the real reason. That I didn't belong. That I didn't want to be here. And besides, she looks to have settled in with the others quite nicely "But I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun without me" I smiled convincingly "Enjoy the rest of your day lady Thorne"

"I will your grace" she curtsied.

Leaving back down the garden path, I passed guest couples here and there taking in the fine view of the flowers during their stay. Making my way out, I'd gone back inside the castle walls when I noticed a handful of people standing around in one of the larger open spaced courtyards located inside the Keep. The women and men all have impressed expressions on their faces and as I went to inspect what exactly it was they were looking at, I saw a man standing in the centre of the huddled circle.

With short black hair, brown eyes and tanned skin, he's dressed in yellow and orange clothing and I could only assume that he's from Dorne. Although I have no idea as to _who_ exactly he is. Holding one of his arms up at a level position with his chest, a medium sized bird sat perched; its eyes covered with a leather hood.

"Princess Rhaella" spoke the Dornish man with the somewhat thick accent of his homeland. The other nobles turned to see me once he announced my presence "How lovely for you to join us. I was just showing one of my prized possessions"

"A bird?" I replied.

"Indeed. But not just any. No, this is a Falcon. One of the fastest creatures in the world" he said while running his knuckles along the brown feathers on the bird's chest "Would you like to see?" I'd stopped to stand a few steps in front of him, the nobles giving me some space of my own.

"Yes, I would" I replied and the man nodded. Taking off the leather hood from the birds face, he jolted his arm up and the creature flapped its wings before taking off into the sky as fast as a clap of lightening. Watching as it sawed here and there, weaving around with such freedom, the man let his creature perform its show before giving a sharp whistle.

Flying down with a swoop, it halted with a series flaps before landing back onto the Dornish man's arm again. Replacing the leather hood, he looked at me "Are you impressed Princess?"

"Quite" I said with a nod of my head and a small smile "I've never seen a Falcon before. A rather _exotic_ creature"

"An exotic creature for an exotic woman than" I tilted my head a little at his reply "A wedding gift" he announced. The few surrounding people clapped their hands.

"It's a wonderful gift – " I paused as I didn't know his name.

"Prince Oberyn Martell" he finished.

I was a little surprised. I'm familiar with the name and I've heard and read many tales about him, although I haven't had the chance to meet the man until now. Although from the looks of things, he seems to fit the title of the _Red Viper_. Handing over the Flacon to one of the nearby servants, Oberyn walked over and held his arm out for me.

"Would you walk with me?" he asked. Nodding my head, I linked my arm with his and we made our way out of the courtyard and down the hall "I'm glad we've finally found each other. I've been wanting to meet you for quite some time"

I raised an eyebrow "You have?"

"Of course. I wanted to see for myself" he replied "To know if the beauty of the Targaryen Princess is as breath taking as they all say" I chuckled. I didn't know people gossiped about my looks.

"And now that you've met me in the flesh, what's the verdict?" I asked curiously. What does the Prince of Dorne have to say about me?

"I've seen many beautiful woman in my life, but a woman like you – _that_ I've never seen before. With your silver hair and porcelain skin, I know for a fact thousands of woman would trade lives for what you possess. The body and grace of Goddess"

"Somehow I don't believe you" I replied.

"Then if you don't believe me, believe them" he nodded. Rounding a corner we entered into a large foyer filled with a few people that wanted to socialise for the evening "Take a closer look. Watch how their eyes flicker to you. How the men's backs stiffen and the woman plump their chests. You can see, _feel_ , the jealousy and desire"

Doing as Oberyn had instructed I took more time in observing the people around me and he was right. I picked up on the small movements that I was too blind to see before. But still, even with the evidence I found it hard to believe it was all because of looks "I'm royalty. Who wouldn't be a little intimidated by the fact?" I spoke quietly so the others wouldn't hear.

Oberyn chuckled "You're hard to convince and modest. A rare trait considering the vanity that usually permeates the Capitol" he replied "I wonder if that's the reason you brother guards you so closely. To keep you away from the taint of the world"

I briefly looked back at the golden clad guards behind us "Yes" I replied "And no"

"Complicated" Oberyn added and I nodded "Life isn't always simple, is it?"

I shook my head "Unfortunately not. It's an endless riddle you have to keep solving and it becomes more difficult as each day passes" I took a deep breath in. And it isn't just _life_ itself, it's also the people. They're the ones that make it most difficult.

Sifting through the sea of faces, one person in particular caught my eyes. Dressed in the Dornish colours, the woman held a resemblance to the man walking beside me. And as we approached I could hear her gentle laughter and see the wide smile on her full lips. Oberyn caught the small group's attention as well as the woman's.

"I'd like to introduce you to my sister, Elia Martell" he said while gesturing.

The woman with her sun tanned skin and chocolate eyes had turned to me before curtsying "It is an honour to meet you Princess Rhaella" her accent is also lilted like her brothers "And I congratulate you for your wedding tomorrow. I look forward to the ceremony"

"I thank you for being able to join us" I replied with a friendly smile "I understand it's a long journey from Dorne. Did you travel well?"

"Yes your grace. Very pleasant and so is the Capitol. It's been many years since I last visited" Elia replied.

"Then I hope your able to enjoy what the city has to offer before you return home" catching the edge of my vision, an older couple walked over to us. The man has a head of grey hair and he wore an unpleasant look on his aged face. I knew him to be Lewyn Martell and the woman next to him his wife. Although I haven't seen them since I was a very young girl and when they'd left it wasn't on good terms.

They greeted me with a bow "Princess" Lewyn's tone of voice wasn't necessarily rude, but I could tell that he didn't particularly enjoy my company. A debacle between our houses has certainly unsettled the friendship between our two families, or at least with the reigning Lord of Sunspear "You've certainly grown into a fine young woman since last we met"

"Thank you my lord" I gave a forced but still acceptable smile in return.

"And you're new born brother. How is he fairing?" asked the lady Martell.

"Very well. He's grown tremendously these last few weeks" I replied "Your gifts were most kind and generous" I added. I could feel the tension slowly making the air heavy and I don't think I was only one to feel it "How long do you intend on staying in Kingslanding?"

"Not for long. We've entrusted our home with our oldest, Doran, but with the recent attacks we don't wish to be away for longer than we need to be" Lewyn spoke plainly. From what I know their son Doran also suffers from a crippling case of gout and has been restricted to a wheelchair, so I'm understanding as to why he wasn't able to join the wedding "Speaking of such affairs, I've wondered as to why your brother _refused_ to aid us personally these recent months"

Filtering what Lord Martell has said, I felt a little cornered and I didn't exactly know what to say in return. Even though I knew of what he was speaking of it's still hardly my place to answer his question, and by the sourness of his tone I felt offended. He was trying to accuse me. As I went to open my mouth to speak, a familiar voice from behind me came first.

"That's a conversation better left to be discussed in private" Rhaegars tone was firm as he stood behind me, the warmth of his body brushing up against me. Immediately I felt a wave of comfort and protectiveness.

Shying my eyes away, Lewyn hadn't replied and instead Rhaegar guided me away from the group of Martell's so that we walked side by side "He doesn't seem all too pleased to be here" I said.

"No, he doesn't" replied Rhaegar "How did you end up their company?"

"Oberyn. He was presenting one of his birds in the courtyard. He gave it to me as a wedding gift" playing with the tips of my fingers in my lap, I glanced up at Rhaegar. He held the ghost of a stern expression, as if he were a little unsettled or disrupted by something "Is something the matter?"

His expression immediately softened as he looked down at me "No. Nothing you need to worry about" I sighed, it was irritating at times when Rhaegar wouldn't tell me what's clearly bothering him. Continuing to walk in silence, I wondered if I should ask. Taking in a breath, I didn't look at him.

"Do you think I'm beautiful?" it was a rather odd question now that I've said it aloud, but I wanted to know after my brief conversation with Oberyn.

Taking a moment to reply, I wasn't sure if he'd heard me "What makes you ask?"

"Curiosity" I said before adding "I've been wondering as to why you have them following me still. Is it really because you want to make sure I'm safe from the world, or is it so you can keep me from it – scared someone might catch my eye again?" it wasn't a silly question, he _was_ rather defensive about a piece of _hay_ of all things.

"You're asking me if I'm jealous again"

"No, not jealous" I replied "I already know your not – but rather protective of what you think is yours and yours alone" walking a little ways away from the main crowd of people, we stood relatively alone and in private.

"I don't _think_ " he said "I _know_ , and yes – I think you're beautiful, and so does the rest of world" reaching out, Rhaegar tucked a lock of my hair out of the way "But if it bothers you that much, then I'll have them dismissed" he said with a nod to the guards.

"Why?" I've been pestering him about my escort for weeks and he's never once entertained the idea. What's making Rhaegar give in so easily this time? Is it because of what I said? Is he trying to prove a point?

"It'll make you happy, won't it?" I nodded hesitantly "Then that's my reason"

"But it isn't the truth" I retorted under my breath and he sighed before giving me a look. I'm doing it again, I'm searching for an answer. But I can't myself when it comes to Rhaegar. He's always weaving and diverting his way around things to point of it becoming jumbled and hard to focus "You never did answer my question" about why the guards are really there.

"They were there to make sure you didn't do anything you'll regret" he replied "But I admit, I shouldn't be so strict – I should be able to trust you, shouldn't I Rhaella?" looking down at me with his deep eyes, they pierced me and I felt my heart skip a beat before I shied away.

"Yes, you can trust me"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I'm back with the update you've all been waiting for! I'd really appreciate a review on this particular chapter - Did I do alright? What do you think about it? And as always thanks for reading and following, it means a bunch :) Cheers!**

 **Guest Review Chapter 11 (About the eye color) \- I completely understand where your coming from, but the reason why I don't specify the eye color is because it's different between the book (Purple) and T.V show (Blue). Since I don't want to ruin anyone's depiction of what they think Rhaegar or other characters might look like, I'm vague in my description and so I use words such as 'deep' or 'light'. If you understand what I mean? And for some, having purple eyes is a turn-off. **

Sitting on a wide balcony with an open view to the city, I was showered with a few weddings gifts as is customary during the wedding breakfast. Of course it was only Mother and I as we're the only women of our family left, but I found it comforting there wasn't a flock of others allowed as it eased my mind. I didn't have to fake a smile or maintain a conversation. It was peaceful.

Drinking my cup of warm tea, my eyes focused out on the waters horizon; the colourful pigments of the rising sun had faded away to the familiar sky blue and white clouds. Taking in a breath of the crisp air, I could smell the bakery's as they made fresh goods for the day and I could hear the sounds of the people as they woke. Wandering my sites over the cluttered buildings and chimneys, I came across the Great Sept. I've only been inside a handful of times as Father never favoured the Faith of the Seven.

"Why is it we don't follow our traditional ceremony of Valyria?" I asked curiously as I turned to look at her "Instead we abide by a faith that isn't our own"

Mother rested her cup and saucer onto her lap "When Aegon conquered Westeros and settled in Kingslanding the Faith of the Seven was and remains to be the predominant religion. To change it would have been an uproar and so we blended our own customs with theirs. We still wed brother to sister, uncle to niece as is tradition for us – even though _they_ do not agree with our ways"

"It still doesn't explain why we can't follow the old way. I would prefer it"

"And your Father would agree" replied Mother with a light chuckle "But we are not in our homeland, we are in theirs. To keep the piece of the people we must make sacrifices, a very small one in the grand scheme of things" I suppose she's right in that regard, but I would have liked to have said _our_ vows instead of _theirs_. I would have liked to have been in our colours.

Sitting back in my chair I ate a few pastries and made light conversation until Septa had come to tell us that the Seamstress had arrived. Getting up from our seats, we made our way to my room where the middle aged Dornish woman and her apprentice had prepared for our arrival. Positioned in the room is a set of full length mirrors folded out to capture different angles, a foot stool and a couple of other trunks full of things.

The Seamstress turned to me with a wide smile on her lips "It's finally here, at last. Your big day today Princess. Here" she gestured to her apprentice that held the wedding gown delicately in both of her arms. White as planned and floor length, I could see the faint but elegant pattern made with silver thread "One of a kind"

Reaching out, I touched the soft material with the pads of my fingers. It looks beautiful and better than I'd previously imagined. I only hope that it'll look that way once it's on my body "He'll be impressed with your choice" spoke Mother from beside me as she looked over the dress. I smiled at the compliment.

"When you're ready, we will begin" spoke the Seamstress.

"I will see you shortly, at the ceremony" I turned to my Mother and she touched the side of my face "Don't be afraid. They'll take good care of you" she encouraged. Planting a soft kiss on my forehead, Mother took one last look at me as she left. I won't be seeing anyone until mid-day, when the wedding begins.

Taking in a breath of air, I sat down at the vanity table. The apprentice had re-placed the gown so she could start on my appearance. Gently pulling out the pins from my white hair, she combed through my locks with a bristled brush "Have you seen the venue yet your grace? The entire city hasn't stopped talking about it" I was surprised by the girl's northern accent.

I shook my head "No, not yet. But I've been told it's very large and open near the seaside" I was internally glad that the apprentice had decided to spark a conversation with me. I don't think I could sit through hours of silence. At least now I have something to take my mind off of it all.

"Indeed. I heard there's entertainers from all across the world. No expense has been spared. The decorations alone I heard are breath taking" she said with a dreamy tone. If only I could be a little more enthusiastic about my own wedding day "Are you excited your grace?"

I nodded "And nervous"

"I can't blame you, with all those high lords and ladies being there" feeling her slender fingers work at my hair, I glanced at my reflection. I could see the thin plaits forming on the sides of my hair along with my pail skin and familiar eyes. It's all slowly coming together.

Finishing with my hair, the girl had gone on to powder my face and sharpen my features. Surprisingly the accentuation didn't make me appear older, but instead preserved my youthful face "A beautiful young woman" spoke the Seamstress as she looked over my shoulder and into the mirror "It's almost time. Are you ready?"

I blinked a few times before nodding "Yes" slowly rising from my chair, the apprentice helped me take off my dress and undergarments and I stepped into the new ones that are coloured a pure white. Holding the wedding gown for me she pulled it up the length of my body; immediately it felt like I'd slipped into a silky, form fitting glove. It hugged my waist to perfection. With a sharp 'V' neckline and no sleeves, an outline of beading and fabric cut flowers wrapped underneath my breasts and all the way around.

Delicate.

Buttoning the top of the open back, I stepped up onto the small foot stool and turned a little this way and that to see the final result. Feeling a large smile form on my lips, I ran the palm of my hands down the fabric covering my belly. Taking a small moment for myself to let it all sink in, I continued to gaze at myself in the mirrors "My best work" spoke the Seamstress proudly. I had to agree

"It's more than I could have asked for"

Continuing to stand on the stool, the Seamstress fluffed with the dress to make sure everything was in order before heading over to one of the trunks. Opening it with a click of the metal lock, I finally caught a glimpse of what was inside; an assortment of fine jewellery amongst other things. Placing on a pair of simple earing's and thin arm bands, I was soon complete with a pair of flat shoes.

And then the tower bell rang.

Echoing out to encompass the capitol, it signalled the moment I'd been anxiously waiting for. Feeling a shiver of nerves run down the length of my spine, the bedroom door opened as I stepped from the foot stool. Two of the Kingsguard had come to collect and take me to the Great Sept "Princess" they muttered in acknowledgement.

It's finally time.

Looking back at the Seamstress, I flickered my sites over the entirety of my room; the bed, the small dragon statue that glittered gold on my table, the open balcony, my dining table and my newest gift, the Falcon. It sat on a small horizontal rod; the leather hood covering his eyes. I'd asked for the animal to be placed in my room instead of the Rookery where the ravens are kept. I thought him too fine of creature to put him such a dreary place.

Finally, I turned back to the Kingsguard and swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of throat. In this moment I wished for my Mother, for the comfort of her warm embrace and soft words. But I know this is the length of the journey I must do alone. Making my way over to them, they began to lead me down the hallways and I couldn't help but notice how empty and quiet it is. Not a soul in site as everyone is all patiently waiting at the Sept.

Heading out through the large arched doorway of the Keep and into the large courtyard, a carriage pulled by two black horses waited for me to arrive. Grabbing a fist full of my dress, I carefully stepped up inside and sat down as the small door closed beside me. Peeking out the curtained square window, I jolted forward as the carriage started to move and travel its way out of the castle walls and into the city.

Waving their arms, I could hear the people as they crowded the streets to catch a glimpse of me " _Princess_!" they called " _Rhaella_!"

Pulling the curtain of the window further back, the crowd became louder as I waved my hand with a smile on my face. I couldn't be a recluse because of my overwhelming feelings, I needed to overcome them. Besides, they've made the effort to see me today – it would be rude to do nothing. Feeling the bumps in the road as the carriage proceeded to pull me toward the Great Sept, it wasn't long until we arrived.

Leaning away from the window, I'd caught a quick and brief glimpse of the outside. There's Kingsguard's and soldiers everywhere, forming a barrier between me and the others. Waiting, I could hear boots nearing outside before the door opened a moment later. Taking the man's outstretched hand I stepped out of the carriage and a small gasp left my lips as I took in the tall and almost monstrous site of the Great Sept of Baelor.

With a small slope of stone steps leading up to the large arched entrance, I could see my Father standing with a plain look on his face; neither happy nor sad. He was dressed in his finest clothing, a golden crown resting on his head. Carefully I walked up the steps to join him, my eyes downcast until I made it to the very top. I glanced upwards "Daughter" he spoke.

"Father" my voice was light like a feather.

Taking each other's arm as is custom, we waited as the carved wooden doors creaked open to present the hundreds of nobles waiting on the other side. Stepping through the entrance, the thick entrance closed behind us and we were suddenly all left in quiet. Swallowing, I found a sea of eyes pinned straight on me; roaming over my face and body. I've never felt so small in my entire life.

Trying to ignore their stalking gaze as much as I could, I focused my attention on the site of the narrow walkway ahead of us. It lead all the way to the other end of the Great Sept, where the Septon stood on the elevated level; the stained glass of the seven pointed star letting in a bright beam of the mid-day sun – and that's when I saw him. Rhaegar. Dressed in embroided black clothing with a blood red sash going over his shoulder, he stood strong and handsome.

Nearing closer, it felt as if we had walked for miles as my eyes shied back down to my feet. But soon we were walking up the couple of steps and Father had then let go of my arm so I could stand alone and across from Rhaegar. And with the crowd of nobles still standing, the Septon began the ceremony "My lords, my ladies, we stand here in the sight of gods and men to witness the union of man and wife. One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever" he started.

Reaching for each other's hands, Rhaegar and I held them out so that the Septon could tie the ribbon that symbolizes our union. While tying it he says "Let it be known that Rhaella and Rhaegar of house Targaryen are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder" he then added "In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity" before unravelling the ribbon.

Listening to the Septon speak and feeling the warmth of Rhaegar beside me, I began to feel calm. The nerves that once pinched at my stomach had started to dissipate "Look upon each other and say the words" said the Septon.

Turning to face Rhaegar, I looked into his deep eyes as I spoke my vows and he his – both simultaneously "Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger. I am his and he is mine. From this day, until the end of my days"

With the vowels completed, there was only one thing left "With this kiss, I pledge my love" spoke Rhaegar just before he leant in and pressed his lips firmly on mine. Warm and sweet. Pulling back at the sound of applause from the crowd, I couldn't help the blush that crept on my face. We are no longer just brother and sister, but also man and wife. Married forever.

* * *

With the marriage ceremony completed, the entirety of the guest and ourselves had moved to situate at the venue by the seaside. Hearing the distant sound of the waves crashing against the rocks not far away, an expanse of tent roofs had been posted over the rows of dining tables to shield everyone from the open sky. Strings of little lantern lights scalloped along to create a beautiful and somewhat festive appeal, and the horde of servants proceeded to bring out an array of food for the hungry and social guests.

So far, as I peered around, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves rather nicely. It was good to know. Taking a sip of my wine, I sat at the head table with Rhaegar seated beside me along with Mother, Father and few of the council members. And with the small bit of open space between the head table and the rest of the guests, it allowed for entertainers to perform their interesting skills and tricks; everything from so called magicians to fire breathers.

Of course, not long ago, a long line of nobles had come to congratulate us on our union and presented us with many exotic and expensive gifts. I had wondered along the way as to where exactly we were going to put all the items, but never the less, we accepted with humble thanks. Picking at my food, a small group of three musicians had begun to play some music and a few couples had gone on to dance one after the other.

"Would you do me the honour?" I looked over to my side to see Rhaegar holding out his hand.

I nodded as I took it and stood up. Leading us to the dance floor, we joined in with a twirl to the violins and cello. With one hand on Rhaegars shoulder, I felt one of his own land on my waist. I did well to ease my nerves throughout the day; to try and enjoy it all – the moment. It's the first and last time after all. But as we danced alongside other couples, a nudging thought I'd tried to supress had wormed its way from the back of my mind.

The bedding.

I felt a pang of fear at the notion "You look beautiful" spoke Rhaegar, his voice snapping me from my concerned thoughts.

"Thank you" I muttered. Feeling his eyes looking down at me, I couldn't find it in me now to meet his gaze. I think Rhaegar would know if there was something wrong if I did, and he'd be able to come to a firm conclusion about what it is. I don't particularly feel like the embarrassment, not with all these people around us.

Rhaegar pulled me closer "You don't seem very happy" he stated.

"I am" I smiled while looking up at him – but it wasn't for long. I soon found small things to focus on, like the man juggling a little in the distance and the servant girl carrying a tray of roast potatoes. Then it was the couple dancing beside us, a young woman and man; both happily staring into each other's eyes with love. I sighed. Rhaegar didn't say another word.

After finishing the dance, I had enough time to take a breath before a small commotion filled with awes and applause caused us to divert our attention to four servants carrying a massive pie – the pigeon pie. Setting it down on a table that had been quickly placed, the guests had flocked to catch a glimpse at the towering piece. Stacked three massive tiers high I myself felt a little shocked, but then again, there's quite a few people it needs to feed.

Clapping along with the others, Rhaegar stood behind me with his arm wrapped around my waist and his warm body pressed against the flat of my back. Slowly making our way over to the pie, a servant presented us with a knife and I took it. Clasping his warm hand over mine from behind, we both cut a slice out of the lower tier and the guests applauded when the knife met the bottom of the pie.

Returning back to our seats, we partook in the delicious foods once again and watched as the sun proceeded to lower in the sky. The scallop of lanterns appeared magical now as the night took over and a few fires had also been lit to fend away the cold that had settled in with the wind. The pungent odour of wine also became a prominent smell in the air as guests laughed and drank their way through the next couple of hours.

Sitting somewhat alone at the head table, Father had left back to his chambers a little while ago and soon after that Mother had also gone. And the council members that also sat with us had grouped down at one end of the table to gossip about some unknown subject, while gawking at a woman who could bend in ways I'd never seen before. I paid no mind. Instead I gazed up at the moon and stars every once and a while, and laughed under my hand when someone would fall over in their drunken stupor.

Lightly giggling, I stopped when I saw movement beside me. I wandered what was wrong when I saw Rhaegar had stood from his chair. He didn't say a word, but my throat tightened when he held out his hand for me to take. Did he want to leave already? It _is_ getting late, but it's too _early_ – I'm not ready. My heart thumped louder as I took his hand and stood on shaky legs.

Guiding me out and away from the head table, we started our way back to the Keep, but as we left I saw a handful of heads turn to follow our disappearing forms. I refused to look at them in fear they'd see my somewhat _fearful_ eyes and rose tinted cheeks. Clutching Rhaegars hand, he continued to tug me through the night until we reached the wooden doors to the entrance of the castle.

Passing a handful of stationed Kingsguard as we walked down the empty corridors lit with candles and torches, I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings as we walked up the stairs. Arriving just outside the entrance to Rhaegars room, my hands and stomach tightened when he opened the door and gently nudged me inside.

Standing in the centre, the room looks similar to mine except it has a more masculine appeal and several candelabras had also been lit to give the space a dim and warm glow. But somehow with all this _fire_ , I still felt a cold chill run down the length of my spine. Rubbing my arms for warmth and comfort, I flinched a little when I suddenly felt him press up against me from behind; his finger dragging a feather light trail down the side of my neck.

Pressing his warm lips on the soft skin of my shoulder, both of Rhaegars strong hands planted themselves on either side of my waist and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. It feels different for him to be touching me like this. Purposefully. Intimately. Even with those two encounters it's still incredibly foreign. Moving his hands, they briefly ghosted over my feminine shoulders before I felt his fingers pluck open the button on the back of my dress.

Running his hands under the shoulder straps of my gown, a breath hitched in my lungs as he slid them down the length of my arms. The dress dropped to form a white bundle on the floor and with my lips slightly parted, I stared out into the distance as he tugged on the silk strings of my corset. After a few more seconds, I was soon left naked and completely exposed to his deep eyes; my arms instinctively folding over to cover my chest.

Clasping his thick fingers around my delicate wrists, Rhaegar plucked my arms away and for a brief few moments I fought to keep myself hidden – although I soon gave in. With one hand caressing the soft flesh of my stomach, his other snaked up to kneed my breasts and I shuddered at the feeling; my back arching into him for more – and then he stopped.

"Get on the bed" he demanded. I almost jumped at the sound of his thick voice.

Blinking a few times to shake the haze that clouded my mind, I eventually moved from the pile of clothing on the floor. Wandering over to the canopy bed, I climbed to lay myself in the middle of the feather stuffed mattress to anxiously wait. The soft material of fabric tickling against my skin. His sheets dark in colour compared to mine. Coming to stand at the foot of the bed, my eyes roamed over Rhaegars tall, built form. Discarding the red sash that had hung over his shoulder, he moved to the metal clips of his black vest. Unhooking them one after the other, the black leather material was shrugged from his body.

Tugging the cream coloured undershirt over his head with one quick movement, a stirring feeling tingled in my lower belly and rippled to my groin when I saw the defined muscle of his torso. Watching as his hands reached down to the ties of his black breeches, it was then that I looked away. I was too shy, too reserved and it wasn't until Rhaegars hands pulled on my ankles to drag me a couple of inches down the bed that a gasp left my lips and I'd looked back to his face.

Spreading my thighs, Rhaegar nestled his body in-between and my hand had planted itself on his toned chest. Staring up into those piercing eyes of his, he too looked down at me; the short braid of his white hair dangling down over his shoulder. Leaning down, his lips met mine and we continued kiss while he ran smooth circles on the outside of my left thigh. The mix of sensations eased my racing heart and array of thoughts and I became far too distracted to realise what he was doing – until he slammed his hips forward.

A mix between a gasp and squeal left my mouth when I felt the instant tearing pain coming from between my thighs. I could feel _all of him_ buried deep inside of me and my arms and legs immediately clamped around him; holding on tight as my breathing picked up. I swallowed back the sobs and blinked away the tears. It hurt more than I was expecting – more than I'd heard about. This certainly wasn't the pleasure Rhaegar had shown me, but it's what's to be expected.

Without asking he started to move – in and then out. Slow paced but even. Continuing to bury himself to hilt over and over again, small gasps left me as he did. I had half a mind to push him off, to tell him to stop – but the other half told me to endure the pain. Moving his lips back against mine I kissed him with a fierce passion; anything to get my mind off of the hurt. With one hand holding up his weight, the other slid down the narrow crevice between our bodies and his fingers worked at the cluster of nerves; running smooth, deep circles.

My walls squeezed around him at the jolts of pleasure that was starting to form and several hitched moans echoed out into the bedroom. It was intense and a little uncomfortable. Feeling the temperature of the room begin to rise, a light film of sweat layered our bodies and when Rhaegar had pulled away from my mouth, I could hear his faint pants of breath beside my ear. The sound made my insides twist with arousal.

But when he moved his _torturing_ hand from between my legs, the air was forced from my lungs as he began to hammer himself into me at a rough pace. Knitting my brows together as I felt his thick, throbbing member prod my walls with every sharp thrust he made, my lips parted to let out a strangled whine as he went harder and faster without little warning or adjustment.

Forced to listen to the wet sounds made by the slick flowing my entrance, I arched my back and angled my knees higher and my thighs wider; my body jolting from the force of his love making. Deep down inside of me, I could feel an odd and sweet tension coiling. I moaned while pressing a kiss to his Rhaegars jaw. Hovering his luscious lips near mine, he refused to kiss me like before and instead he watched. He watched as I fisted my fingers in the sheets and he watched as I slowly came undone by his _punishing_ pace.

Unrelenting in all aspects, the pleasure was strong and unforgiving when it finally burst. My walls spasming, thighs shaking and a tingling wave rushing from the tips of my toes to the back of my throat. I could taste pepper as my eyes closed shut and a choked moan filled the room. Gasping as the moment of euphoria washed over me, I gradually sank down from the blissful high – and it was then that I started to re-notice the stinking ache between my thighs and the pain in my muscles.

Still pinning me to the mattress with the weight of his body, Rhaegar continued to ravish me as I looked down to where our bodies joined; my brows furrowing together. I was sensitive from release and the continued feeling of Rhaegar stretching me out had a moan of discomfort falling from my lips. But as his hips drove into mine a few more times, I soon heard the low and masculine like moan before an immediate gush of warmth filled me up.

Resting his forehead against mine to catch his breath, he pecked my lips before pulling out of me. Getting off of the bed, Rhaegar pulled his breeches back on and I looked in confusion "Are you leaving?" I questioned. Did I do something wrong?

"I have a few things I need to care of" he replied while pulling on his undershirt and vest.

I sat up on the edge of the mattress "Please. Stay with me" I begged softly.

"You're tired. Go to bed" Rhaegar reached out to caress my face; his thumb running over my bottom lip "I won't be long" taking one last look at me, he exited the room and I was left alone and a little hurt by his absence. What could be so urgent that Rhaegar had to leave me on this night above all?

Sighing, I stood up from the bed with a wince before walking over to the mirror. Standing in front of its bare reflection, I looked at my naked form. My slender legs, curvaceous waist and ample chest – the body of a woman. Running my fingers over my skin, I was expecting something _different_. I thought that after this night I might have changed in some way, but there was nothing except the smear of crimson blood between my thighs to say that anything had happened at all.

Hearing the faint noise of the guests floating in from the distance, I turned from the mirror to go back to the comfort of Rhaegars bed. Slipping under the smooth sheets, I curled into a pillow; my lungs filling with his familiar scent. Fluttering my eyes closed, a dreamless sleep soon took me.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think :) Cheers for reading.**

Twisting inside the warmth and softness of the bedsheets, my eyes fluttered open when I felt the ghost of someone's hand gently brushing along the side of my cheek. Trailering my eyes from their fingertips to his face, I looked up to the site of Rhaegar as he stood by the bed; still dressed in the same clothes as yesterday. Did he come back last night, like he said he would?

"Did you sleep well?" his voice brought me out of my trailing thoughts.

Flickering my gaze from Rhaegar to one of the nearby windows, I saw that the sun was beaming high in the sky and I wondered how late in the day it was. I nodded "Yes, thank you. But how long – " I started and he interjected.

"Mid-day" he answered "I told your Septa not to wake you. You needed to rest" he brushed a few strands of my white hair from my eyes. Holding the sheets to cover my nakedness, I slowly sat up in the bed and winced at the tenderness in my core "Do you need the Maester?" I shook my head.

"No. It'll be fine" I replied. There was a brief moment of silent before I added "However, I am a little hungry" looking up through my lashes, I heard him chuckle.

"I thought you might be" holding out his hand, I was hesitant before taking it with my own.

Helping me up from the bed, the sheets drifted down from my body and I sucked in a light breath. Picking up a thin, cotton dress hanging over the full length mirror, Rhaegar bent a little to allow me to step into it. Using his shoulders as support, I didn't miss the brief contact of his fingers as they skimmed the outside of my thighs. Coming around to tie the string at the back of my neck, he guided me over to the small dining table near the open balcony.

There was bowl of fruit and freshly cooked meat waiting for me "I had the servants bring you something to eat" he added while pulling out a chair for me to sit. After tucking myself in, I started to pick a few things from the fruit bowl while Rhaegar sat himself beside me. Plucking a crisp green apple, I heard the crunch as he bit into it.

Taking a mouthful of water, I glanced over him while I ate a few things here and there "You don't look as if you've slept. Did you?" I asked curiously.

"Not as much as I would have liked" he replied "I still have a few errands to attend to today"

"So I suppose we won't be spending much time together then" I admit I was a little disappointed "Will you at least tell me what exactly it is that's keeping you, or is it private?"

He sighed. It was faint but I heard it "A handful of the noble houses have matters they wish to discuss before they leave for home. Unfortunately it can't wait" he explained.

"Shouldn't the King be handling these _important_ matters himself, or at the very least, the hand of the King?" I quirked an eyebrow "You're his son. I didn't realise _your_ presence was necessary"

"Not necessary, no" he spoke seriously "But when the time comes for me to rule, I'd rather be prepared and familiar with the Kingdom and its people than not. You should consider the same, for the duties you yourself must fill" Rhaegar was right, but still – would a day without politics _kill_ him?

I leant back in my chair "Have children, or more preferably a boy" I said "That is my duty – the only one that really matters"

Rhaegar disagreed "That isn't true Rhaella. As Queen and as my wife you have my ear in all things. You'll govern this Kingdom just as much as I"

"But would you listen?" I questioned, my attention completely on him "Between me and the advisors you'll have – even yourself – who would you listen to in the end? The King does what he likes – who am I or anyone else to change your decision?"

"My flesh and blood" he answered. Looking into his eyes, we held contact until a series of knocks rapped on the bedroom door "Enter" he called firmly. Turning my sites, I watched as a handful of servants shuffled into the room; their hands carrying steaming buckets.

"The water your grace" one of them explained. Rhaegar nodded his head and the servants wandered into the adjoining bathroom. Listening to the splashing stream as they filled the bathtub, they soon filed out of the room with their heads bowed to the floor.

"For you" he said with a nod. Standing from his chair, Rhaegar went to leave before I grabbed his hand.

"Stay a little longer" I begged "Please" surely he could spare a little more time – for me. With Rhaegars absence, I feel as if I've barely had a chance to let everything settle. Barely had a chance for us to be together like we should after being married.

Rising from my chair, he still held my hand which was a sure sign. Rhaegar could have left by now but he's still here. Stepping to move in front of him, our fingers laced together and I reached out to touch his chest with my other hand. Cupping my cheek, he look me up and down; his deep eyes taking me in. And after sliding his hand down the length of my neck, he pulled on the ties of the dress.

The fabric skimmed down the length of my body to pool onto the floor and I was once again left naked for all to see – or just him. Reaching down, Rhaegars arms hooked under my thighs to hoist me up. Wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, I leant to press a kiss to his lips. Gentle but still passionate.

Walking us over to the bathroom, I could feel the steam radiating off of the water's surface as we neared. Gently dropping me back down to the ground, Rhaegar undress himself while I stepped into the large hexagon shaped tub; the water sloshing around my legs before I sat. Joining me a moment later, I shifted forward so he could sit behind. Leaning back, the water rippled just above my breasts and I sighed as the heat worked at my aching muscles.

Tickling the flesh of my stomach and upper thighs, Rhaegars hands wandered beneath the water's surface. I wondered "Does it feel different?"

"What exactly?" he asked.

"This" I shrugged "Us – marriage. Does it feel different to you, or just the same as before?"

There was a second of silent before he replied "I feel responsible. A sense of duty, as a husband – to make sure your safe, happy, that I do right by you"

"And you didn't before?"

"That was a different feeling" he said before asking "And you?"

"I don't know. I suppose I do, but not in the way I thought" I sighed "When I first thought of marriage, I was expecting something out of story books – something incredibly magical"

"And it wasn't?" he questioned.

"It was – _real_. It was nerve raking. I didn't know what to expect or what to think, I just knew it was happening" getting up onto my knees, I turned to straddle Rhaegars lap "And now here we are – together forever" his hands gripped my thighs.

Dangling my arms over his shoulder, I leant in and kissed him. Fisting his hand into my hair, the other wandered up my backside to follow the curve of my spine. Feeling the tip of his thick member prod at my entrance, I moaned from the aching pain as he pushed himself all the way inside of me; filling me up. And even though it hurt a little as I hadn't healed from last night, I didn't tell him to stop.

Instead I grinded my hips along his and with my legs I pushed up and down his length; the water sloshing once again from the sway of my body. Moving my lips, I gasped and moaning from the feeling as my walls clenched around him like a silky, warm vice. Hugging me close to his body, Rhaegar kissed down the side of me neck and onto my shoulder. Passionate.

Pushing deeper and faster, my hands moved to grip the edge of the bath on either side of him; my brows knitting together. The ripples of pleasure slowly pooled into my groin and belly, my back arching for more. The pain was bearable and the rest was overwhelming. It felt good to have him inside of me. He's what I wanted all along. He's what I needed, and now here he is – mine, in every way.

* * *

Cloth covered market tents lined the side of the street and men and woman bargained for whatever goods they offered. Trying to block out the loud racket all around me, I noticed it was rather busy here today. Proceeding to walk down the cobbled road, sometimes wet with sludge emptied from one of the overhead balconies, I was careful to avoid the puddles as I made my way to the orphanage.

After finishing our bath, Rhaegar had soon left for the _important matters_ of the nobles and so as I was left alone with nothing to do, I decided to schedule a visit to the orphanage. It's been a couple of months since my last visit and I felt guilty for not coming sooner – what better way to spend the rest of the day? Passing a few people here and there, Sir Barristan Selmy and another guard followed close behind me.

Siting the familiar cement arch way, I waited for a man with his horse and cart to pass before heading into the open courtyard. Immediately I noticed it was rather quiet except for a small group of children playing a little ways away "Please stay here" I spoke to the guards. Heading further into the orphanage, I went inside to see where the Septa was.

Navigating the halls, I found she was talking to another woman before she noticed my presence "Princess" they both curtsied in respect. Gently dismissing the other woman, the Septa came over to me "I wasn't expecting you. It's been so long"

I nodded "I know, forgive me for not coming sooner"

"Please, there's nothing to forgive. In fact I'd like to congratulate you on your wedding. I hear it was an exquisite event" she spoke with kind words, a smile on her aged face.

"Yes, indeed it was" I agreed before adding "I came to visit Lyra. Would you happen to know where she'd be? I'd very much like to see her" immediately the smile left the Septa's face to be replaced with one of sadness. My stomach sank at the site. I could already feel it, deep down, that there was something wrong "What happened?" I asked, my voice light.

The old woman took a deep breath in, her hands clasping together "A month ago she caught a fever. We tried our best, but it wasn't enough"

It took me a moment to register the words but when they did, a pang of hurt shot through my chest "She's – dead?" I couldn't believe it – I didn't want to. Lyra was perfectly fine the last I saw her and now she's gone "Why wasn't I told?"

"It all happened so fast your grace"

Standing stunned and silent, I wasn't sure what to say next. I felt angered, but what's that going to do for me? Kicking and screaming won't return someone from the dead. It won't reverse time so that I can change it. The more I think about it, the more I come to feel that it's my fault. I should have come sooner. I shouldn't have shied away in the Keep for so long.

"Your grace?" brought of my troubling thoughts, I regained what composure I could. It seems to me that bad thing always follow shortly after the good. To think my day would be ending with such loss, a girl who's barely lived, already dead.

"Please accept my condolences" I spoke barely above a whisper. Turning around, I left back to the courtyard; not another word leaving my lips. Passing the children, my eyes remained firm ahead as I went by the guards and back out onto the street. Heading for the castle, I followed the pathway up the stairs and to my own room. Opening the door, I stepped in and pushed it closed with a thud.

My heart race beneath my chest as sobs started to form. Biting them back, my fists clenched as I leant against the door; my fingernails forming half-moon indent in the palm of my hand. Slowly sliding down to sit on the floor, my head landed in my hands as I sniffled and wiped the tears as they dripped down my red cheeks.

Remaining huddled by the door, I'm not sure how much time has passed but I could see that the sun had begun to set as the sky filled with an array of warm tones. Jolting a little, someone had gone to open the door but stopped when they realised the weight leaning against it "Your grace?"

It was Septa.

Slowly getting up from the floor, I straightened my dress before opening the door just enough to see through to the other side "What is it?"

"I was coming to see if you'd returned" she replied while looking my dishelmed form up and down "Is something the matter? You look as if you've been crying"

"I don't want to talk about it. Now if that's all, I'd very much like to be alone" opening her mouth to speak, Septa stopped herself before taking a step back. Taking that as my signal, I closed the door to silence and solitude.

Walking over to my bed, it was freshly made with clean soft sheets. Unbuckling my shoes, I slipped them off before climbing onto the bed. Collapsing on my stomach, my face snuggled into the pillow as I then curled into a foetal position. Peering out to a nearby candelabra, my eyes watched the bright flames as they flickered with the breeze that blew in from the windows and balcony. Slowly lulling me, I didn't even know I had drifted into the realm of sleep until I was startled awake by a sharp thud.

Taking in a shaky breath, I sat up in the bed. It felt like only a few seconds of rest but as I peered around in the darkness, it must have been hours. The sky outside was now littered with shining stars and the moon stood high with a beaming glow. Squinting, a few of the candles had been snuffed by the wind while I slept. It was hard to see where the sound had come from. But then I heard the strike of a match before a glow of fire illuminated Rhaegars face.

Watching him as he re-lit the blown out candelabra's, the room was soon filled with a dim glow "You scared me. I thought you were someone else" I muttered out tiredly.

"Mother was worried. You didn't come for dinner" he replied.

"I wasn't feeling well"

"Your Septa told us otherwise. You were crying when she came to see you earlier. You wouldn't tell her why" getting up from my bed, I walked out onto the open balcony; the stone floor cold against my feet. Hugging my arms over myself, I breathed in the fresh air. Following me, Rhaegar stood to my right "Will you tell me?"

I sighed. I didn't want to bring it up. I didn't want to talk about it. But I didn't want to bottle it all away either "A girl died at the orphanage. It was a month ago. I wasn't told about it until now" I keep seeing her face in my mind "If I came sooner, if I wasn't so selfish, maybe she'd still be alive. She was only a little girl. She didn't deserve to die"

"Don't blame yourself for the things that are not in your control" turning to face me, Rhaegar pulled on my arms to tug me into his warm embrace. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him, my cheek rested against his chest and I could faintly hear the patter of his heart beat. For a moment we stood on the balcony holding each other close. It felt nice to be able to close my eyes, to feel the wind in my hair, to have a few seconds of peace and security.

Rhaegars lips pressed against my forward, gentle like the touch of a butterfly. It was then that I felt the wet tickle of a tear fall from the corner of my eye. Looking up, his thumb brushed away the trail it left behind. Watching as he leant forward, my lashes fluttered when he kissed me; his hands rising to cup my cheeks. Squeezing the black leather of Rhaegars vest, I moaned at the taste of his sweet mouth.

I pulled away. Not now. With the pain I feel, it wouldn't be right. Unwrapping my arms from his waist, I turned back to face the vast site of the city. Leaning against the cold stone railing, Rhaegar didn't say a word. Instead he turned to leave and I listened to the fading sound of his boots as he left my room.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think :) Cheers for reading.**

* * *

It was a beautiful day today, not a cloud in the sky, no sign of rain or a storm, just the distance chirp of birds and the fresh but salty scent of the air. Walking down one of the many hallways inside of the castle walls, Mother kept pace beside me; the sound of our shoes making a light click against the stone floors "Have you decided on what you might wear?" spoke Mother "The festival is in a weeks' time from now"

A long day of celebration, eating and activities, the Festival is one of many we have throughout the year. This particular one happens to be in honour of the Mother; who represents motherhood and nurturing. She's prayed to by many for things such as fertility and compassion.

I nodded "One of the gifts I received for the wedding was a dress made in Essos. It's beautiful. I think it would suit me for the day"

"Good, then you're settled. And you mustn't forget, the last of the nobles will be leaving this afternoon. It would do you well to see them off" I nodded, although Mother caught the little sigh that slipped from my lips "I know it isn't the most exciting, but we all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes"

"I know" I replied with an apologising tone "But doesn't it ever grow tiring? Don't you ever get sick of playing pretend? It must hurt your cheeks to have to smile that much and not mean it"

"Of course it's tiring, but it's your duty to _pretend_. It makes a difference for them and for you" she replied. Walking through an archway we turned into another hall and continued down until we reached a set of carved wooden doors; two Gold Cloaks standing either side of it. It's Mother's bedroom.

Entering inside, the room is quite large with a queen sized bed, a mahogany dining table and open view to the shining expanse of the sea-side. A perfect place to be for when the sun sets. In fact I remember when Mother used to take me and Rhaegar to the docks. We'd stand at the very end of the peer and watch into the distance as the glowing orb in the sky lowered itself into darkness. It's one of my more favourable memories as a child.

Heading over to one of the chairs, I sat down opposite Mother. Watching as she poured us a glass of wine, I couldn't help the raise of my eyebrow but I didn't say anything toward it. Clutching the glass I took a sip and savoured the fruity but strong taste "It's been a week since the wedding" she spoke, her eyes on me "How are your more _personal_ affairs?"

A breath hitched in my lungs but I quickly swallowed it down. Is that why she gave me the wine, I wondered. Looking down, the cup was settled on my lap and I glanced at my distorted reflection in the dark red liquid "Persistent" I then replied with a gentle sigh "He's always so suggestive – always trying"

"And you don't approve?" she asked with a slight tilt of her head.

"It's not that I disapprove" I said with a shake of my head "I just feel as if he's eager for something other than _that_ , but he never talks about children – I'm not quite sure what to make of it just yet"

"I understand, and you're right about your suspicion. All men are the same when it comes to matter of an heir. Being of royalty doesn't help the situation. I suspect your Father would have shared words with your brother no doubt" my brows knitted together in confusion.

"Your saying he's under pressure?" I questioned "For what urgent reason?"

"As much as I hate to admit it, we're getting old Rhaella. We're no longer young and to a degree, neither is your brother. With your late birth comes doubt and complication. Producing a child early would ease a lot of pressure from Rhaegars shoulders as well as your Fathers"

"This isn't making me feel any better" I teased.

"Perhaps not" she smiled before turning serious "But never the less, I wouldn't worry yourself over it. When the times comes, it will happen. No one is ordering you to do anything as of now. You both have years of life yet" nodding my head, Mother's words eased me a little about the subject. At least now I know what's going. At least now I can prepare myself a little more "Although I wouldn't keeping shutting him out _too_ much" she teased "He may have more patience and understanding than most, but he's still just a man"

Lifting my drink to my lips, I took a much longer and drawn out sip than was really necessary, but anything to hide the blush rising to form on my cheeks. Eventually lowering my now empty glass, I smiled as the wine started to hit my senses.

* * *

Standing on the descending steps located at the front of the Keep, I stood in the line of our family – Father, Mother, Rhaegar and myself. With my hands by my side, I stood patiently while the nobles spoke their good-byes "Again I congratulate you on your marriage. My family and I wish you the very best your grace" spoke Lord Vance; an old man with shoulder length grey hair and foggy blue eyes lined with crow's feet.

Taking my hand, he placed a kiss on the back "Thank you Lord Vance, and I wish you safe travels on your journey home" he gave a curt nod in return.

Taking a few steps back Lord Vance turned around to step down the slope of thin stairs. Waiting at the bottom are his wife and two young daughters. Getting up onto his horse, the rest of family went inside the awaiting carriage that held their luggage on top. With Sir Vance's green, black and white banner flapping in the wind, the group started off down the cobbled road to the city. They were the last family to leave the Keep, and the first to depart without another word is of course the King.

Stalking off back inside the walls of his castle, Mother soon followed along while I trailed behind; Rhaegar keeping pace at my side "I want to show you something. It might take your mind off your troubles" he spoke and I looked at him.

"My troubles?" I questioned.

"You've hidden it well, but I can still see you're upset by the loss of your friend" I looked away. He was right, I am still upset and I suppose I have hidden it rather well, all things considered.

"And what exactly are you going to show me?" what exactly would remove the dreary sadness enough to really enjoy myself?

"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?" following beside Rhaegar, we'd made our way into the outer courtyard near the stables. Waiting for us was the familiar boy servant I'd last seen in the stables a few weeks ago. He was standing with a hold of the reigns to Rhaegars black Stallion; the beast of an animals beady black eyes staring us down as we approached.

"We're going riding? Now, at this time of the day?" I questioned with a gesture. The afternoon is fast approaching, the sky already turning. It would be dark by the time we went anywhere outside the city walls and back again.

"You'll be safe" Rhaegar said as his hand patted the slope between the horse's eyes. Taking a quick glance around, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go for a ride. It would do me good to get out of this place for an hour or two, depending on where exactly we're going.

"Alright" I agreed.

Turning to me, Rhaegar came over; his hands gripping under my arms to picking me up onto the saddle. Adjusting myself, I decided I wasn't going to sit sideways like I should and so I subtly placed my legs on either side of the horse. Fluently getting up to seat himself behind me, the servant boy handed Rhaegar the reigns and his arms came around my waist to hold onto them and steer.

With the a kick of his boot, the Stallion moved forward and we made our way out of the courtyard to travel through the thick of the city. After a few minutes of silence, we'd reached one of the gates of the city; the Gold Cloaks bowing their heads in respect as we rode past "Now that we're away from prying eyes and ears, are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"You're not very good at waiting" he replied with a tease in his voice.

"I suspect that's a _no_ "

He sighed "It's a nice place" he explained after a moment of silence "One you've never been to before. A secret place of my own. Magical"

"Magical you say" a smile crept onto the corners of my lips as I leant back into his chest, the wrists of his hands resting on my thighs so that they didn't get tired "In what way?"

"Its beauty. Its seclusion" he replied "A place man hasn't touched and where nature still thrives undisturbed" hearing the emotion of his description made me already believe it was indeed magical and I have yet to see it.

Riding along the two-lined dirt trail, it wasn't until we diverted to the base of a nearby mountain that we'd left from the main road. Heading through the long blades of grass, we then ventured deep into the woods and the trees grew thicker the further we went. Listening to the wind as it blew through the trees; swaying them a little at the top. A few leaves here and there fluttered down to rest on the ground and I could hear the buzzing of insects, the crack of a few branches and the whistle of birds high above.

This place felt more _alive_ than the rest of the world.

Tugging the horse to a stop, Rhaegar dropped the reigns in order to get off. Landing on the ground with a light thud of his boots and a crunch of the brown leaves that had fallen, he tied the leather reigns to a solid branch "We'll walk the rest of the way" he instructed while reaching up to help me off the saddle.

Not arguing, I followed close behind Rhaegar as we went a little more ways up the mountainside. It wasn't that steep which was a relief, but as I glanced up ahead I could see a clustering wall of deep green shrubbery and thin trees as well as the sound of rushing water – a waterfall perhaps. Finding a decent opening, he gestured and I walked through first.

What laid on the other side was breath taking.

Like I'd thought, the sounds I heard did indeed belong to a waterfall; streaming down the mountain side to fill the relatively medium sized lagoon below. The water is a cloudy greenish blue with large and small rocks surround it to also be hidden away by a circling of tall trees and thick greenery. No wonder no one's ever found it, you wouldn't know where it was unless you really looked.

With a wide smile going from ear to ear, I was so caught up in the mesmerising view that I didn't see Rhaegar swoop in from behind me. Gasping, he'd plucked me from the ground to hold me in his strong arms and with a steady stride he headed straight for the water.

"What are you doing?" I questioned sternly. He didn't stop "No. Wait. Put me down" I demanded as I tried to wiggle from his grip "Stop. No!" squealing, Rhaegar tossed me into the water and I landed with a splash; the cold water drenching from head to toe.

Pushing my way to the surface, the water level wasn't that deep yet and so I stood up with a sharp gasp as I clutched my arms; my white hair sticking to my face as I shivered. I could hear his laughing "Enjoying the water?" he questioned with a smirk on his lips.

"It's freezing" sloshing my legs through the water, it was hard to move with the added weight of my clothes. But as I got half way to shore, Rhaegar had covered the distance to meet me in the middle. He'd removed his leather vest and I imagine his boots as well. All I could see is his undershirt and black breeches. Turning me around, he nudged me back into the depths of the water.

"You'll get used to it" he spoke with a chuckle "But you can't keep these. They'll way you down" standing waist deep in the cloudy water, I felt Rhaegars hands reach around to unclasp the clip at the front of my dress. Pulling down the shoulders, my arms slipped free with a tug and he pushed the rest of the dress down my waist. Tossing it to the rocky bank along with my undergarments, I stepped further into the water until I could no longer feel the sandy floor.

Turning around in the water, the coldness didn't bother me as much as before as I acclimated to the temperature. With a little distance between, I kept away from the crash of the waterfall and instead swam in a small circle. I stopped to look at Rhaegar as he hovered in the water, watching me as I enjoyed myself "Why have you never taken me here before?" I asked curiously.

"I was waiting for the right time, the right reason"

Swimming over to him, my arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist; I could feel his hands skimming up my thighs to rest underneath "Thank you" I spoke in a soft tone. Leaning in, my body pressed against his through the water as I planted a lingering kiss. Reaching up, Rhaegar held the back of my head so I couldn't pull away.

Moving my lips against his, my eyes pressed closed and the moment went from one of thanks to that of heated desire. Feeling the tingling pool form in my core, I felt the tip of his swelling member prod at me from beneath the water's surface. Reaching down, I lift myself up just enough with what leverage I had to guide him into me before pushing back down. Moaning as buried himself to the hilt, stretching me along the way, I clutched myself tight around his body.

With the rush of water roaring not far away, it was hard to hear ourselves and I didn't noticed we'd wandered near the rocky wall until a slight bump jolted us. Thankfully the rocks weren't jagged and sharp but fairly smooth from the lap of the water over the few years. Gripping onto the stone wall with one of my hands, I used the leverage to move up and down; Rhaegars arms helping me along the way. Moaning, my voice echoed a little which seemed to spur him on even more.

Slipping out of me, Rhaegar tugged us through the water to head toward the grassy and sandy shore and once we got out footing he picked me up by my thighs; our bodies slippery and wet from the water. Clutching the sides of his face, my lips crashed against his in a heated kiss. Taking a couple more steps, he crouched down to the ground to lay us down before leaning back on his knees.

Looking up into his deep and dilated eyes, I didn't get to stare long as Rhaegar grabbed my legs and flipped me over onto my stomach; a breath of air escaping my lungs. Pulling my hips up into the air, his legs knocked mine farther apart and my forearms held me an inch off the ground. Thrusting back into me from behind with little warning, I swallowed with a moan. Hitting deeper with the new angle, he went slow and hard at first; his hand holding my hips with a vice like hold so he could pull me into his thrusts.

Squeezing my eyes closed every now and then, I looked out into the shrubbery ahead of me as moans were forced from me as my body jolted forward with every slam of his hips. Gripping the blades of grass and grains of sand covering the ground, the wind was chilly as it blew over my damp skin "Faster" I gritted as the pleasure built, but enough to push me over.

Ramming himself in me with a single hard jolt of his hips, I yelped as he hit the wall of my uterus. Threading his fingers into a patch of hair at the base of my skull, Rhaegars pace fastened to form a punishing rhythm. Hearing the distinct slap of skin amidst the crashing of water, I moaned at the firm grip of my silver locks as well as the pleasurable friction he was providing.

Feeling the familiar clench of my abdomen as it wound tighter and tighter, I could feel the ticklish trail of stickiness running down between my thighs as well as the wet coating of my walls as it made a sucking noise. Letting go of my hair, Rhaegar leant more on my body to pin me flat on the ground; his forearms resting beside mine with his fists clenched.

With his lips beside my ear, I could hear Rhaegars ragged breaths as he continued to pound into me; his speed never falling. Spreading my legs a little wider and my backside a fraction higher, a trail of moans left my open mouth as I gaped. Feeling the beginning of my orgasm, my eyes squeezed close and my entire body tensed as a wave of euphoria shot through me like bolts of lightning in the sky.

Gasping with a moan, it lasted longer and more intense than last time and I saw stars in my blackened vision. I'm not sure why that is though. Maybe it was because of the thrill the location and circumstance offered, or maybe it was because of how rough Rhaegar handled me. The last few times have always been gentle and careful, as if he's scared I might push him away if he did something too surprising.

Spilling himself into me a few more strokes later, a deep moan rumbled near my ear and I shivered at the sound. Still on top of me, I turned my head and leant to press a gentle kiss to his forearm. Tired and satisfied, my lashes fluttered with fatigue but I forced myself to stay awake. We still have the journey home yet "You're not as _delicate_ as you might seem" Rhaegar muttered, his voice gravely as he spoke "Not if you'll let a man do _that_ to you"

Leaning up off of me, the warmth of his body disappeared along with the heavy force. Giving a sudden and unexpected sharp swat on my backside, a sting rippled along my flesh but I didn't complain. It wasn't like the pain of being disciplined as a child, it was different – _sensual_. Slowly sitting up on my knees, I turned to look into his deep eyes. A flush of pink pigmented my cheeks as he looked down at me.

"What happened to life being exciting?" I defended quietly. Unsure of myself.

Leaning down, Rhaegar pressed his warm lips against mine for a kiss "I never said it was a bad thing" he replied after pulling away.

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 **A/N What if I told you I've already written the next chapter? o.O**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Another update! Give me some love and leave a review :) Cheers!**

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Walking down the cobbled street of one of the main roads, this particular path is called the _Street of Flour_ and it's where numerous of the finest bakeries are located. In particular, it's where _Shepherds Corner_ is held. Every year and _only_ on the Festival of the Mother, the owner of the bakery; a round bellied man with an incredibly kind heart, goes to work to prepare the most delicious tarts the Seven Kingdoms has ever tasted. It's the reason I've gotten up so incredibly early this morning, so that I don't miss out.

Holding the edge of my skirt up, the street has a white dust tinge from the flour that would sometimes waft out from the shops. And situated above us are paper lanterns that scallop in a zig-zag down the road; seemingly linking building to building. There were also flowers of all sorts in nature decorating the window sills and doorways of the bakeries. I would say indefinitely that out of all the streets in Kingslanding, this one is always the _most_ Festive for the Mother.

Coming up to the store I needed, there were already two ladies making their way inside, but it wasn't nearly as horrifying as the street long line-up I'd once seen. Stepping up the raised entry platform of the store entrance, the overhead bell rang for another customer while the two Kingsguard who followed me waited outside. Handing the familiar tarts over the counter, the baker with his curled white moustache raised his hands in the air when he looked over to see me.

"Princess! You've come early this year!" the baker greet, his apple round cheeks turning red and his bushy eyebrows raising in excitement. I watched as his other two female customers dressed in their highborn clothes turned before sinking low with a curtsy and their heads bowed low.

"Please" I said with a gesture for the other two customers to rise. I never liked it when they did that, it always makes me uncomfortable; especially in times like this. Standing back up, the two ladies quickly left the shop.

Walking over to the counter I smiled "I have it here, along with a few extras" he said while pushing a white box over to me. Going to hand him the money, the Baker shook his head and gestured with his hand "Please. A gift, your grace"

I smiled while reaching over to a round wooden bowl with a few pennies of tips "A donation then" I said while dropping the coin with a small clang. Taking the box, the baker nodded with a smile and I said "Thank you"

"Thank _you_ , your grace"

Making my way out of the small shop, the Kingsguard continued on behind me before Barristan Selmy asked "Is there anywhere else you'd like to go your grace?"

I shook my head with a smile "Straight home from here Sir Barristan"

"As you wish" he nodded before falling into step behind me.

Making our way through the twist and turns of the waking streets we walked past the city town square, and I could see a handful of men raising up a wooden carved statue of the Mother. During the rest of the day to come, the city inhabitancy would come with their offerings to lay them down at the base of _her_ statue. Most will even pray.

With a long stretch of walk we'd made it back to the castle and I headed down the corridors, passing servants and resident nobles, before making it to the dining hall where Mother, Father and Rhaegar sat with their silver plates and array of breakfast foods "There you are" spoke Mother as I sat beside her after placing the box of tarts down onto the table "How was your journey? You left quite early this morning"

"Refreshing" I replied "I wanted to get there before the swarm of others" grabbing a few things from the platters in front of me I started to eat in relative silence "Some of the streets have already been decorated for the Festival. It's beautiful outside"

"There's many words to describe this city – _beautiful_ isn't one of them" grumbled Father as he sat at the head of the table "No amount of _flowers_ is going to wash away the stench of shit and piss" I rolled my eyes at his comment and I heard the faint sigh that left Mothers lips.

"If you're so disgusted by your Kingdom of shit and piss, then why don't you change it?" I questioned while buttering a piece of bread.

I wasn't sure why I'd retorted to Father's crude remark. It always ended in him barking or insulting me in some unjust and cruel manner, but I suppose I couldn't help myself this time. The words fell from my lips before I could even stop them. Deep down I'm sick of Father's complaining about the city and people he ruled; always telling us about how savage and filthy they are. This place, our _home_ , will never be good enough compared to Dragonstone.

"Watch your tongue, _daughter of mine_ " Father spoke with venom in his words "This cesspool we live in can never be changed, and neither can the whores and bastards that squander inside of it – to _change_ would be to _burn_ , until there's nothing left but ash and rubble"

Then he'd be the King of nothing. What would Father be then? A pathetic old man. I bit my tongue in reply. I wasn't going to say anything else. I wasn't going to ruin the day. Like always, I'd push it all behind me. Bury it where the light couldn't reach. Placing down the bit of bread, I didn't realise I was holding the knife so tightly until I had to let it go. Looking up from my plate, I felt a pair of eyes piercing straight into me from the other side of the table.

It was Rhaegar.

He was staring right at me with an intense look. I imagine he too was probably wondering why I'd spoken out. Lowering my gaze, I sat back in my chair and continued to eat whatever food I needed to fill my appetite. After all, it's going to be a long day of games and celebration.

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Finding our way to the tourney grounds located just outside of Kingslanding, the entire round oval area had been decorated with hay bales and flowers, lamp lights, statues of the Mother and of course, activities for the children and adults. Watching from the side lines along with a few other nobles, men took turns tossing heavy weights over a horizontal bar. If they couldn't swing it over high enough then they were disqualified and if they were able to muster the strength, the bar was then lifted higher for the next round. Simple, but I imagine very difficult.

Watching a few more rounds, the group of men participating became less and the ones that remained more burley and rough looking. I swear one of them must've had a giant as parent as he was monstrously tall and broad shouldered with a wide jaw and thick limbs. Lifting the weight of metal, the giant tossed it with a single fling of his arm; he made it look so easy, and I watched as it swung over the bar to land with a thumb onto the grass of the other side. The giant raised his arms with a deep roar in show of his strength while the crowd cheered and clapped.

Moving my way through the gathering of people, I slipped out into the open but busy space as people walked here and there while laughing with smiles on their faces. It was nice to be surrounded by such positiveness, but it saddened me that the event held at the tourney grounds weren't for all. Everyone I see around me are either nobles or higher as none of the common folk were aloud here; except to man the stalls. Apparently no one likes to mix with those _far beneath their status_. I suppose it's always been that way and it's _one of those things_ I'm not able to change.

With my personal guard in-tow, I wandered around the grounds looking at a few temporary stalls that had been made. Most of them selling murals of the Mother, flowers, food or scented candles. It was mid-day now, the sun blaring down from the blue sky and brief coverage of clouds. Walking over to a cluster of wooden barrels filled with freshly clipped flowers, I was looking through them when a woman in a faded blue dress and white apron approached me.

"Do you see anything you like your grace?" her feminine voice had the typical southern lilt

"There all quite lovely" I complimented. Holding out something, I looked to the woman's hands as she held a ring of colourful flowers joined together to form a crown.

"It's for your hair your grace. They seem quite popular with the ladies" I took it from her hand, careful not to bruise the delicate petals.

"I think I'll buy it" I took a gold dragon coin from one of the sown in pockets on the inside of my dress "Here" she held out her hand and I placed it inside.

"Your grace, this is too much" the woman's eyebrows raised and her mouth gaped in astonishment and protest. The golden dragon I'd given her is more money than she'd earn in a year of good hard work.

"It's alright. Please, keep it" I smiled. She curtsied, her head bowing before she stood again and left to tend to her barrels of goods. If she were a wise and an unselfish woman, which I'm fairly certain she is, the money would pay for many of the things she'd need to take care of herself and children; if she was blessed with any.

Turning around I was startled when my sites landed on a deep red vest, I could see the pin that named him Hand of the King resting on the right side of his chest "That was very generous of you" spoke Tywin Lannister as he stood with his hands clasped behind his back; golden hair shining in the sun.

"Generosity to those less fortunate eases my conscience my lord" I replied.

"I suppose it would. The people certainly adore you for it – it's a _refreshing_ change one might say" added Tywin with a knowing voice "Perhaps, when the day comes and your brother is crowned King, the world will finally be at peace – at least for a time"

"I could only hope. There's been enough violence and bloodshed to last an eternity" I replied "And the scars it's left behind are more than I alone can heal, but if I can make even the slightest of difference – I will"

Tywin looked at me with his crystal blue eyes "You'll be a fine Queen one day" he gave a curt nod of his head "Enjoy the rest of the festivities, your grace" watching the golden headed Lannister leav me to my devices, I looked down at the crown of flowers before placing them onto my head.

Starting off across the open grassed field of the tourney grounds, I spent the remainder of the day by myself; excluding the guards. Mother was somewhere in the mass of things with Viserys and as for Father, I didn't much care what he was doing; probably secluding himself away in the Keep. As for where Rhaegar was, I hadn't seen him since breakfast. I imagine he might be wandering around the grounds as well with his company of close friends, Arthur Dayne and Jon Connington.

Continuing to watch the rest of the games, I later discovered that the _giant of a man_ I'd watched earlier on in the day had indeed won the throwing contest. Proceeding to watch out for the younger children as they ran amuck with their sparklers, the sun had lowered itself in the sky and I'd acquiring a few cups of delicious wine. I admit I'm rather chipper than normal, but I didn't think it was anything to make a fuss about. It wasn't as if anyone where _really_ paying attention and with no light except for the lit torches and barrels scattered about, no one could really see my flushed face and dilated eyes.

Finding myself in the centre of the oval, I was dancing with a medium sized group of other women. Holding hands, we skipped in a circle while a small cast of musicians played their violins and cello's off to the side. Laughing, I'd almost tripped a few times here and there but it didn't bother me so much; as long as I didn't _actually_ fall. In all honesty, I don't think I'd be able to get back up on my own.

Switching ways, we girls skipped left instead of right before rushing into meet each other in the middle and rushing back out again. Letting go of each other's hands, I stretched mine into the air as I spun in a circle on the spot; the fires and things all swishing into a blur as I swayed with the music. Smelling the fresh night air and the scent of cooking meats and wine, I twirled and twisted but as I came to slow myself the world didn't.

Stumbling a little, I thought I'd caught myself until someone pressed into me from behind; their arms wrapping around my waist. I smiled, I know who exactly who it is. Who else would come to save in my dire time of need? Giggling, I stood as straight as I could before shrugging myself from Rhaegars arms and turning to face him.

"Thank you" I breathed out as I curtsied quickly and dramatically, my hands holding my dress to let the fabric drop back down to my side. I licked my lips.

"You're drunk" he announced.

I looked around before leaning in a little closer "Yes" I whispered before holding up two pinched fingers "Just a little though, I promise"

Rhaegar shook his head before his hand rested on my shoulder to guide me away from the dancing "I think you've had enough celebrating for tonight" he said "Where are your guards? They'll take you home" I shrugged myself away from his hold and Rhaegar stopped walking to look back as I took a step away.

"I'm having fun. Let me have fun" I begged "You should do the same. Go and enjoy yourself" I stepped forward and clutched his hands "Or better yet, dance with me" I laughed.

Rhaegar sighed. For a brief moment I thought he was going to agree until he swooped down, his arms wrapping around the back of my knees to then throw me over his shoulder. As if the world wasn't demented enough, I was now seeing everything upside down. And it was then that I saw two familiar faces standing a little ways over, their arms crossed over their chest. It was Rhaegars friends, Arthur Dayne and Jon Connington. I could see a ghost of a smile on their lips. They're clearly amused by my rare display of character.

"Are you doing this because of them?" I suggested as Rhaegar walked, not straining at the fact he was carrying my entire weight.

"No" he answered "I'm doing this because your guards are apparently too incompetent to watch over you themselves. If I let you roam free the way you are now you'll wind up hurting yourself"

I sighed with a little role of my eyes. It's like a parent scolding their child for the same reason – having too much fun "Alright" I said "I'll go home. You can let me down now. I can walk" pausing, Rhaegar off loaded me from his shoulders.

Looking up at him, Rhaegar had let go of my arms to brush a wisp of hair out of my face. But as soon as I felt the tips of his fingers on my skin, I'd clutched my dress with tights fists and bolted "Rhaella" I heard him growl, his hand failing to catch me. Not looking back, a grin had spread across my face and I laughed as I ran straight past Rhaegars friends.

Running through the vast maze of people, I faded out the sound of festive music and others having a good time. Instead, I focused on finding a place to hide. Glancing around frantically, I spotted a cluster of large wooden wagons and carts holding a couple of barrels of what I assumed to be alcohol. Placed just on the edge of the dark woods, if I took another step I'd be amongst the thick trees. Not wasting another moment I hurried toward them and picked one to hide behind. From here I waited for the familiar head of silver hair to pass me by.

Giggling, I covered my mouth to stop the sound from giving away my position. I wanted to see the look on Rhaegars face as he ran around looking for me like a lost puppy. Crouching down low with my hands bracing against the wooden wagon, it felt like eternity that I'd been standing here waiting for him. I was beginning to wonder if Rhaegar was _actually_ looking for me. Maybe he'd let me go, but that's not like him to do that.

With my brows knitted together in confusion and deflation, I stood up from my hiding spot when a strong pair of arms suddenly wrapped around me from behind; lifting me a little ways off of the ground. Startled, a gasp of a squeal left my lips "Don't do that again" Rhaegar spoke close to my ear, his voice firm and a little irritated.

"I knew it" I giggled.

Putting me back down to turn me around, Rhaegar was sure not to give me the slightest opportunity to escape again; his grip on my upper arms firm but not enough to form bruises "Knew what?" he questioned a little harshly. I didn't take any notice.

"That you would come looking" I replied "That you'll _chase_ after me"

"You think this is a game?"

"Isn't it?" I asked with a tilt of my head "The game of cat and mouse. I do this and you do that, and on and on we go until we can't _take it_ anymore. I rip your clothes and you rip mine, and we fu – " he released one of my arms to cup a hand over my lips before I could finish.

Rhaegar sighed "You aren't being very lady like" his eyes, almost black in this little to no light, peered down at me with that same intense look he'd given me at breakfast.

Reaching up, I quickly grabbed the hand that held my mouth closed. Pushing down all but two of his middle fingers, I wrapped my lips around them and sucked. They made a wet _pop_ as I pulled them from my mouth "Is that what you _want – f_ or me to be lady like?" I asked while holding his stare.

Rhaegar tugged his hand and clutched my jaw "I _want_ you to go to your room and stay there"

"I will – _if_ you come with me"

A moment passed "No" he said firmly.

"Fine" I huffed while crossing my arms. The wagon that we were hidden behind, in the middle of the cluster, was only half full of barrels and they're all stacked at the front end leaving me a little room. Jumping up to sit on the edge, I announced "I'm not going"

Rhaegar came to stand in front of me "You'll do as you're told"

"Or what?" I retorted "Are you going to throw me over your shoulder again and march me all the way back to the castle yourself? I doubt it" I said while playing with the skirt of my dress

Stepping forward Rhaegar reached to pull me off the back of the wagon, but I grabbed a hold of his vest and leant in further to press my lips against his. He didn't try and stop me either. It wasn't until I slipped my hand down his breeches and felt him growing hard that he pushed me away. Pulling my hand from his crotch, Rhaegar glared "A few cups of wine and you're a rebel who wants the whole world to watch" he growled.

"The whole world isn't _watching_ " I replied "There's just you and me here. The dark woods on one side" I nodded over his shoulder "And all of this to shield us from the other" I gestured to the cluster of wagons forming a small wall.

Clutching the skirt of my dress, I inched the fabric up the length of my legs so that it bunched up along my thighs. Grabbing Rhaegars hand I pushed it between my legs until I felt his fingers touch the fabric of my undergarments; the only thing separating him from me. With my other hand, I toyed the black strings of his breeches.

"Touch me" I whispered.

"No" he said again; tone still firm. I was frustrated by his answer.

Sighing, I dropped my hand from the strings; my expression turning sour "Why won't you do it?" I complained lowly. I'm _drunkenly_ confused. I thought I was doing everything right "What do you want?" I asked, and with a squinted look of _annoyance_ we stared at each other for a few seconds; a silent fight between the two of us.

I felt Rhaegars hand moving beneath my dress, I'd almost forgotten in my tipsiness. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of my undergarment, he pulled and tore the fabric. I would have fallen off the wagon if he wasn't standing between my legs. Bundling the clump in his hands, he tossed it over my shoulder before leaning down to kiss me.

Humming, my eyes closed in satisfaction – he's giving in. Caressing my flushed cheek with one hand, the other grabbed hold of a patch of my white hair. Rhaegar held me still as he pulled away from the kiss, two of his fingers brushing over my lower lip before sliding themselves into my wet mouth. Sucking, he drew them out along with a small trail of spit and directed his hand between my thighs. Gasping, Rhaegar buried his fingers all the way to the knuckle with one slippery thrust.

It hurt. A stinging sensation caused my inner walls to spasm around his intruding digits. Not waiting for me to adjust, Rhaegar slid his fingers almost all the way out before pushing all the way back in; over and over again. Spreading my legs wider, it eased the tightness and pain. My hips started to grind back and forth to find a rhythm while moans escaped my mouth.

Forcing me to look up at him with the tight grip in my hair, he then released me. Pressing a hand to the middle of my chest, he pushed me down to lay in the back of the wagon; my head making a light thud against the wood. Removing his fingers from my warmth, I watched as he quickly untied his black breeches. Grabbing my legs he jerked me toward him so that my backside was right on the edge before filling me up with a single slam of his hips.

A choked whine left my lips and my brows knitted together before he began thrust into me at a deep and even pace. Clutching the leather of his vest at his waist, my body continued to jolt to the thump of his hips. Rhaegar moved a hand to cover my mouth from the moans that I couldn't keep down. Turning my head, I could see through a small sliver of a gap as people walked by – not in the least bit knowledgeable of what we were doing.

The excitement of possibly being caught had a fresh wave of wet heat pooling from my groin. Slouching his body over to cover mine, I was trapped with fluttering lashes as I took the pleasure Rhaegar mercilessly gave. I wonder how he _learnt_ to make a girl feel so good. Turning my head back to face him, I tugged his hand away from my mouth.

"Kiss me" I uttered – and he did.

Moving his lips against mine with passion and a certain fierceness, I gasped here and there for a breath of air. Hooking the crook of his arms underneath my knees, Rhaegar pinned my legs higher and wider before going faster. Pulling away from the kiss, his jaw was taught as he groaned; a slight sheen of sweat forming on his forehead. Peppering the side of his face with sweet little kisses of encouragement, my hands crawled up under his leather vest and undershirt to gently but firmly rake my nails down the expanse of his back.

And then he stopped moving. His hips stilling.

Retrieving my hands from under Rhaegars clothes, I looked up as he looked down. His brows were drawn together as he leant back, neither of us speaking. Did I do something wrong? Opening my mouth, I went to ask him why he'd stopped when he shoved himself so _hard_ and _deep_ inside of me he'd managed to hit the wall of my insides. My mouth instantly dropped open and I groaned; my eyes a little wide and startled.

A few seconds passed when I went to speak again, a sliver of a syllable leaving my lips when he did the exact same thing. My legs started to tremble and my heart thumped so loud I swear I could hear it. Rhaegar was still looking down at me from above; _daring_ me to try and talk again, and when I didn't – he _hit_ me again before pausing. Moving his hand the palm pressed down on my lower stomach before he thrusted – once – then twice.

I whimpered before swallowing "Faster" it felt better when he went faster. Right now it wasn't pain, but it was uncomfortable and intense. Unlike the _constant_ he was giving me before, it was a jolt of pleasure before it sizzled away into nothing. It was _teasing_.

"You take what I give you, or you get nothing" Rhaegar pulled all the way out of me and I clambered to pull him back. I didn't want him to stop – that's the last thing I _wanted_.

Nestling his thick length to the hilt again, I sighed as he continued to rock into me with an even rhythm this time; my hips following along. Using his other hand, Rhaegar snaked his fingers between us to start rubbing deep circles on my swelled bundle of nerves. A moan escaped me and his thrusts quickened. I could feel the wagon moving ever so slightly beneath me, but he didn't care that someone might notice – not any more.

Moving my hands to my sides, I fisted clumps of my dress to stop my nails from biting into the flesh of my palm. My back arched and my jaw clamped every now and then. With all the rough treatment and his relentless fingers, I felt raw between my legs and a little sore – but it didn't matter. I could feel the pleasure building inside of me. It was creeping up so incredibly slow but that's what made it feel that much better. It wasn't just a quick rush – it was drawn out.

Feeling my insides tense up, the peak had hit me out of now where and I quickly bit the knuckle of my index finger to stop the scream that burned in the back of my throat. Holding my breath, I rode the wave of pleasure as it coursed through me. Panting, it slowly died down and I felt exhausted; my limps feeling useless and my conscience still cloudy from aftershocks and all those cups of wine.

I laughed. It's the Festival of the Mother, the God that deals with fertility, and here we are tangled together in the back of wagon. Maybe, if all the superstitions and wives-tales are true, I'll be given a healthy child from this night of _daring coitus_. A boy perhaps. One could only hope. The future heir of the Seven Kingdoms could have just been conceived this very night. One could only pray.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think :) Cheers!**

* * *

Gasping with a smile tugging on the ends of my lips, my back hit the wall and I sighed in pleasure as I felt Rhaegars body flush against mine. Wrapping my arms around his neck I kissed him feverishly as I felt his roaming hands caress and grope at my body. Trapping ourselves in one of the many rooms in the Keep I'm not quite sure what led to this moment. All I knew was that there's a pooling ache between my legs and I'd kill anyone who would dare interrupted us.

Clutching the skirt of my dress, Rhaegar scrunched the fabric up around my hips so that his hands could dive under to feel the soft flesh of my thighs. A tingle worked its way along my spine and he'd quickly reached down to hoist me up off the ground. Wrapping my legs around his waist to secure myself, his fingers skimmed along the fabric of my undergarments. Slowly he slid his down the waist band I moaned into the kiss when he rubbed smooth circles on my bundle of nerves.

My eyes squeezed shut and my lungs panted when he moved his lips down the length of my neck and onto my collar bone. It felt incredibly good. His fingers running down my slick folds only for me to moan from the tightness as he pushed two of his digits all the way inside of me. Sliding them in and out, my body slowly adjusted to the intrusion and with the added wetness that constantly pooled from his ministrations, it quickly became pleasurable.

Clutching around the collar of his black leather vest, my hips started to grind into his hand and my legs squeezed tighter as they began to shake. Feeling the tension form in my stomach, I bit my bottom lip and cursed myself. I didn't want to finish like this. I could feel Rhaegars fingers still moving inside of me as my muscles clenched around them, but that's not what I really wanted. What I want is still tucked away in his breeches and incredibly hard.

"Please stop" I muttered out – and he did.

Pulling his fingers out to grip underneath my thighs with both hands instead of one, Rhaegar leant back a little to look at me "Did I hurt you?" he questioned with a frown.

I shook my head "No" now he looked confused. Moving one of my hands from his shoulders I trailed it down the little gap between our bodies and tugged at the black lace of his breeches. A grin formed on his lips before he planted a kiss to my temple. Jolting his arms, my body jumped a little as he adjusted his grip on me.

"Not now" he said while looking at me.

"Why?" I teased "Are you scared someone might walk in and see us?" still pressed against the wall with him between my legs as they wrapped around his waist, Rhaegar hadn't made a move to put me down or leave.

"I don't know if you remember" one of his hand moved and before I knew it, his fingers were inside of my warm and all the way up to the knuckle. My mouth fell open while my brows drew together "But we were fighting not long ago"

I could barely concentrate as he teasingly thrusted into me with little pumps of his wrists, but a few flashbacks had crossed my mind by his words. I wouldn't really call it a fight exactly, it was more of a heated argument about all the time he spends with the small council because Father can't be bothered himself "I had a good reason. You were discussing the campaigns in Dorne again"

His hand stilled and his eyes squinted. I knew I shouldn't have said it "You were eavesdropping?" he accused "What did I say about doing that?"

I gave a defeated sigh "Not to"

"But you did it anyway" he confirmed. My hands moved from his breeches to wrap back around his neck "Why?" I didn't answer. I'd made a promise to Rhaegar and I broke it because I was selfish, because I wanted to know what he was doing. He roughly pressed his thumb against my swollen bud and I squirmed "Don't ignore me. I asked you a question"

"Because you never tell me anything" I retorted "You're always sneaking about with your council, talking about battles and politics. I'm scared you're going to leave again"

"I'm not sneaking around and I'm not leaving" Rhaegar sighed before leaning his forward against mine and giving me a quick kiss "I promised. And unlike you, I keep my promises" glaring at him, Rhaegars words sent a pang of hurt and I slapped him on the shoulder. I didn't mean to break it. I was scared.

"Don't hit me" he said.

I rolled my eyes "It was a slap. You would've barely of fe – " I was cut off from my retort when he wiggled his digits inside of me, and a breathily moan sounded when they set a steady rhythm. The spark that had once been dimmed by our dull moment of conversation now burned overwhelmingly. Being in such an awkward position for so long hand my legs cramping, but Rhaegar continued to pin me against the wall as he coaxed the pleasure from between my thighs.

Feeling hot and bothered, a slight sheen of sweat formed on my brow as I panted and moaned. The pleasure was peaking higher and higher, and the familiar clench of my walls and curling of my toes had be biting my tongue so hard I tasted copper. Once I'd collected my breath Rhaegar pulled his fingers from me; my gush of wetness making a tickling trail down my groin to dampen my undergarments.

Slipping his hand out of the waist band, I was gently lowered to the floor; my legs a little numb and my body a little shaky. Pushing a few stray strands of my silver hair away from my face, I smoothed down the skirt of my dress and felt a little uncomfortable. Standing wedged between Rhaegar and the wall, I felt the remaining slipperiness of my release as well as the _hard_ evidence that yet to do so.

"I told you to stop, didn't I?" I said in a matter-of-fact tone. Looking down at me, I could see his eyes were dilated to almost pure black and he'd yet to step away from the confining position.

"There's other ways you can make me _happy_ " my head tilted a little to the side as I held a look of confusion. I wasn't positively sure what exactly Rhaegar was talking about, but I do have a hint of an idea; if the stories of the other noble and servant girls is true.

I glanced down at his breeches to see his evident _hardness_ straining against the leather "I don't know how" my voice was a chocked whisper. Rhaegar took a couple of steps away from me to seat himself in a nearby chair; his arms lazily resting on the detailed arms of the chair.

"I'll teach you" looking at me from half way across the room, he motioned for me to walk over with his finger "Come here" slowly peeling myself from the wall, I made my way over and he'd spread his legs so that I could stand between them "Get down on your knees"

Doing as he said, I lowered myself so that I was now level with his crotch; my dress bunching up around me like a cloud of fabric "What do I do now?"

He leant forward in the chair "Open your mouth" I lowered my jaw, my lips parting. Holding the side of my face with one hand, the other pushed two fingers into my mouth "Suck" my velvety wet lips wrapped around Rhaegars fingers and I did what he told me "You can do better" I sucked a little harder before he slowly withdraw his fingers and sat back in his chair "There. Now you know what I want you to do – and no biting"

I sat unmoving for a minute, a little stunned and lost for words. He wanted me to do _that to_ him. Glancing up into Rhaegars deep eyes as he peered down at me, I slowly moved my hands; unlacing his breeches. I stopped "What if someone sees?"

Rhaegar chuckled "Not long ago that was far from an issue. Getting scared now that you're sober?" he teased and I huffed.

I gave a long piercing stare before I tugged at the ties of his breeches again. Pulling out his rock hard member I leant forward without a single hesitation and wrapped my mouth around as much of him as I could take without gagging. I had to hold back the smile when I heard him groan and hands tighten on the arm rest. Swirling my tongue, he tasted between a mixture of salty and sweet. It wasn't the nicest of tastes but it wasn't horrific either.

Continuing to suck up and down in long drawn out strokes, my hands rested on his thighs for support. I felt a strange rush course through my body and a sense of pride swell in my chest. Instead of Rhaegar doing all the work it was now me, and he's enjoying every second of it. I moaned when one of his hand threaded into my hair, the vibrations making him moan as well.

"If I didn't know any better, I would have thought you'd done this before" Rhaegar rumbled out before his tangled fingers pulled himself out of my mouth "Have you?" he then questioned. My brow knitted and I shook my head.

"No" I've never done this to anyone or Brendon, in which Rhaegar is suggesting.

For a moment Rhaegar looked into my eyes, searching for any trace of a lie and when he was satisfied he guided himself back into my mouth, his hand pushing my head down. I gagged as I felt the tip prod near the back of my throat. Saliva pooled in my mouth and a little of it dribbled out of my lips to trail down his shaft. My eyes squeezed shut.

Clutching the insides of Rhaegars leg, he continued to bob my head with a slow and deep rhythm and each time I gagged when he hit the back of my throat. Drawing nearly all the way out, my tongue ran underneath in a sort of caress and when the tip was all that was left in my mouth I swirled and sucked; beads of white leaking every now and then.

Continuing on for another minute or two, I felt Rhaegar tense beneath my hands and the grip he had on my hair tightened with a sting before he let out a groan. Holding me still, warm jets of salty cum filled my mouth and when the initial wave of his pleasure had died down Rhaegar pulled himself free; a string of saliva and release trailing out to snap between us.

A little wide eyed, I wasn't able to speak with all of the _thick substance_ sloshing in my mouth, and so I looked up at Rhaegar only to watch as he tucked himself back into his breeches with a chuckle "Staring at me isn't going to make it disappear" he leant forward with a small sigh, his hands caressing my cheeks "Swallow" I clutched one of his wrists as a plea. I don't want to swallow. I'm worried "It won't hurt you, and you don't have much of a choice. There's no where you can spit out – unless you want to walk all the way to your room with a mouthful of _me_ "

I wouldn't make it to my room. No doubt someone would try to talk to me and I couldn't ignore them, especially Septa, she'd know that something was wrong. I don't quite feel like the embarrassment. Flattening my tongue, I swallowed – once, then twice, until there was nothing left.

* * *

Tossing and turning in my sleep, I couldn't ignore the odd twisting in the pit of my stomach. And in the moments of consciousness when I was awoken from my sleep, I'd watch as the sky outside changed from the pitch black of night to a dark blue; slowly getting lighter as time passed. Managing to fall asleep once again, I'd suddenly jolted with the need to be sick.

Throwing and kicking the covers off of me, I barely had enough time to fall onto my knees beside the bed before I heaved into the chamber pot. Continuing to throw up, it wasn't until the entire content of my stomach was emptied until the twisting knot faded to dull pangs. Taking a breath my lungs and throat burned and my mouth tasted awful.

Sitting on my legs, my arms wrapped around my stomach and I rocked myself a little for comfort. Taking easy and deep breaths, I stood from the floor with a frown. What was happening to me? Nearly every morning for half a week I'd been shrouded with this ill feeling. It was starting to drive me mad. I've barely gotten any sleep.

At first I thought it might have been something I ate, but since it hasn't left I think I'll have to see the Grand Maester; which I'm not too fond of doing. He's the very same person who inspected me when I had the _incident_ in the bath. A creepy old man whose eyes linger for longer than they should, but he wouldn't dare touch me in _that_ way. Not unless he wanted to lose his hands, his eyes or even his life. One whisper to Rhaegar and the Grand Maester would be _grand_ no longer, just a rotting corpse.

Sighing, I got up from the hard ground so that I could stagger to the bathroom where I rinsed my mouth with some water from a jug. Washing my face I was patting it dry when I heard the door open "Your grace?" called Septa.

I walked out of the bathroom "I'm here"

"Is everything alright? You look rather pale this morning"

"Yes. I'm alright" I lied "I just have a small headache, it'll pass"

Walking over to the floor length mirror, Septa had gone to select a dress before coming back to me. Shrugging off my gown, I was fitted into my undergarments before I slipped my arms through the sleeves of the dress. And once I was finished with my clothes I sat down at the vanity table so Septa could braid my hair.

"Don't forget, you have your sowing lesson today" announced Septa as she slid a pin into my hair.

"Again?" I questioned with a light sigh "I don't know why I have to keep doing it"

"Do you have something better to do with your time?" I shook my head "See, and besides, your still young and still in need of practice. Marriage doesn't put a halt on education" Septa had finished my hair, her arms resting on my shoulders with a smile on her lips "There. Ready for another day. You should be going. You wouldn't want to be late for breakfast"

Nodding my head, I rose from my seat and made my way out of my bedroom and through the Keep. However, instead of going to the dining hall I made my way to the living quarters beneath the Rookery. Approaching the single arched wooden door, I knocked and waited for an answer. After a few moments, it opened to reveal the Grand Maester.

"Your grace" he announced. Standing in his grey robe and chains, the old man stood hunched as usual "What can I do for you on this fine morning?"

I smiled through the pleasantries "I've been feeling unwell as of late. I was wondering if you could prescribe something for the sickness"

"Yes, yes. Please come in" he opened the door wide and I stepped in. A cramped room, there was only enough space for a bed, desk and wardrobe, and there was also a window that peered out into the distant sea. Remaining standing, the Maester had brought over the familiar brown bag full of instruments and medicine "Now" he started off "If you'd be so kind as to explain your sickness"

"It's mostly in the morning and sometimes during the day. I've also lost my appetite in a few things as well" I replied.

The Maester stopped his fiddling to turn and look at me "Do you feel nauseous? Crave unusual foods?" I nodded "Then, your grace, you may very well be with child" I felt woozy and numb at the words that had left his mouth. My throat had gone dry and I tried to swallow the lump that formed there, while my chest tightened and my belly fluttered.

"Are you certain?" my voice was a whisper.

"Forgive me for asking, but when exactly was the last you bled?"

It was an embarrassing question but I tried to think back "Not since before the wedding, over a month ago" all of the signs are there and it never once occurred to me. The sickness, the tenderness of my breasts and the absence of my monthly bleed. The answer was right in front of me the entire time.

"Then I am certain that this is the case" the Maester grabbed his chains and gave a short bow "I'd like to be the first to congratulate you"

It was hard to believe. My hand caressed my stomach for a brief moment as I thought – there's a child growing inside. A part of me and a part of Rhaegar. Brought out of my daze I straightened my posture and gave a firm look at the Maester "This information stays between us. Not a single word about my state of condition is to leave your lips. Do you understand me Grand Maester?"

The old man was taken aback "Your grace. It's my duty to inform – "

"And I _said_ you'll do _no_ such thing. If I hear word that you've betrayed my _trust_ , then I'll see to it myself that you never make the same mistake again" a clear threat.

The old man had turned red in the face before nodding "As you wish, your grace"

Turning from him, I exited the confinement of the Masters room. I don't want anyone to know about this – not yet. I need to wait until it's time, until I can no longer hide the evidence. I'm protecting myself from the pain, the gossip and Rhaegar. If this child lives then it'll be a proud and glorious day. But if it dies, like _eight_ of Mothers children, then I want it to be as if nothing had happened. I don't want to see the anger, the sadness and the disappointment in their eyes and words.

I couldn't handle it.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N** **Another update! As always I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

It was hard to keep a smile on my face as I sat across from Mother. Invited to have lunch with her, we'd conversed in notable and random subjects; most of it being gossip. Sitting near the balcony in her room there was a beautiful breeze and view, and although some of the food was much to be desired with its unusual smells and tastes, I tried my best to eat as much as I could stomach.

Somewhat slumped in my chair, I cradled a glass of water instead of wine. I'd heard that drinking alcohol doesn't have a positive affect towards a growing child's health "Lord Oswell of house Whent has graciously invited us to a tourney" spoke Mother as she bit into a cherry.

My mind searched for the familiar name "House Whent? They reside in Harrenhal, don't they?"

"They do" nodded Mother "They'll be hosting their event there. The land and castle is big enough for the guests he plans to invite"

"And who exactly are these guests?"

"All of the Great Houses I assume and I suspect many other nobles of high standing. It's going to be quite a gathering I hear" my interest was spiked at the news, my thoughts on other more _worrisome_ matters temporarily washed away.

"Has he told us what it's for?"

"There's no apparent reason, other than the tremendous amount of money he intends on bestowing upon the winners" she replied "The reward is three times greater than that offered by Lord Tywin at the tourney in Lannisport" the tourney held in honour of Viserys's birth.

My brow lifted at the notion "Lord Whent is indeed wealthy, however, I don't think his funds are _quite_ that sufficient" it was hard to believe the Lord of Harrenhal could afford such prizes.

"We shall soon see" spoke Mother before a moment of silent overtook us. It was enough time for my troubled thoughts to come back, the frown and the cloud of sadness adorning me once again "You haven't seemed yourself these past few days. Even you're Septa is worried. You've been acting strange. Reclusive"

I sighed before bowing my head to stare at my distorted reflection in the water of my cup. I felt sick but not like in the mornings. It was a frightened sort of sick. I'm nervous "I have a confession, of sorts" I replied, there was a pause of silence "I went to see the Maester. I wasn't feeling well – sick all the time. After questioning me" my mouth went dry and I swallowed. I shouldn't be drawing it out. If I'm going to tell her, a person I trust above all, I have to just say it "I'm pregnant"

And as soon as the word had left my lips, it was as if the entire world had gone deathly quiet. A pin could drop and we would both be able to hear it. Now my nerves swelled three fold, the sickness working its way to the back of my throat. My palms were starting to sweat as I gripped the cup settled on my lap. I'm too afraid to look up and see her face.

"Rhaella" Mother said firmly but softly "Look at me" I didn't want to, but I built the courage and did as she said. Wandering my eyes up to meet hers, I could barely breathe "How long have you known?"

"Almost three weeks" I confessed.

Mother's eyes closed for a moment, trying to take it all in " _Three_ weeks, and you're only telling me of it now" she breathed out before leaning back in her chair "What about your brother? Does Rhaegar at least know, or is it just yourself?"

"He doesn't know" Mother shook her head. This is exactly what I was afraid of – the disappointment "I had to keep it to myself" I defended "And you have to promise me not to tell anyone. I don't want any of them to know about it"

"If that were true, then why are you telling me now?"

"Because I'm scared Mother. Because I need your help. I already have to hide so many things and my stomach is already beginning to swell" I answered "I don't know who else I can turn to"

"You're being foolish" she admitted "It's a _child_. A blessing. You're shielding yourself away, hurting yourself because you think it's going to end in blood and grief. It isn't, and the more you think it is, the more your poisoning your mind and the life of your child – _Rhaegars_ child" she added "How happy do you think he's going to be if he discovers the truth? That his _wife_ didn't tell him the news? That she kept it hidden for three weeks and maybe more?"

"He won't find out" I uttered.

"Because you trust the Maester?" Mother questioned. I couldn't help but notice her eyes had narrowed by a fraction "Pycelle is not your friend. His duty is to the realm, to the King"

"He's kept his mouth shut so far" I replied. I myself was getting angered. This wasn't the outcome I had planned, but deep down I know it's what I deserve.

"And what about Lord Varys. His little birds are everywhere. There isn't a thing you can say or do that he doesn't know about. And who do you think he serves? You? Me?" she shakes her head "He serves for the _good of the realm_ , just like Pycelle. It won't be long until your secret it let out, by one way or another"

I looked at Mother. She didn't say another word and I had to ask "And you – Mother?" I needed an answer. I needed to know if telling her was the right thing. If giving her my trust was the right thing.

"My family lies above all else" Mother replied, her voice lowering "You are my daughter. My _only_ daughter. If this is your choice, then so be it. But I will not hold any blame for the consequences that may follow"

"You won't" I replied before setting my cup down onto the table "This decision is mine alone"

Mother gently sighed before leaning in with a worried look on her face. Grasping my hands in her own, she said "As your Mother, I'm telling you this is a mistake. I don't want to see you hurt. Please, tell Rhaegar the truth before someone else does it for you"

I gave her hands a gentle squeeze "I'm doing what I think is right. I'll tell him when I have to, but for now, I'm protecting myself"

* * *

The rest of the lunch was rather uncomfortable and tense, but after we finished I'd found my way through the castle after summoning two guards to escort me to the Great Sept of Balor. Riding in one of the finely crafted carriages, it was a quiet journey apart from the sounds of the common people as the busied themselves with their daily chores.

Once we'd arrived, the carriage had been set down and I stepped out onto the concrete "Stay here" I commanded the guards. I needed some privacy for this next part.

Picking up the edge of my dress so that I could walk up the steps, I went to the very top with a click of my shoes. The familiar doors were open wide and I stepped into the massive dome like structure. It was warm inside with candles, stained glass windows and the statues of the Seven standing tall at each end of the seven pointed star painted into the floor.

I also noticed there weren't many people here, just a handful of Septon's and those who'd chosen to pray. Walking down the marbled steps to reach the centre, I approached the statue of the Mother and gazed up at her face as she held a babe in her arms. Kneeling down onto the ground, I lit a candle at the base before clasping my hands together in my lap.

Although the Faith of the Seven has never been my true religion, I felt it was the only thing I could do in a time like this. I was begging, praying, that the Mother would help me now. That she'd look after the child growing inside of me as well as myself. I prayed that everything would be alright, that there was nothing to fear. As long as it's healthy. As long as it's alive. I don't care about anything else.

Remaining knelt on the ground, my knees started to hurt and my body began to cramp but I didn't let it disturb me. A bit of pain is a small price to pay when it could potentially offer me something far greater in return. Praying for over an hour, it was heading into the afternoon when I opened my eyes. A small gust of wind had blown in and I watched as the candle I had lit turned dark; a trail of smoke snaking up into the air from the burnt end of the wick.

A twisting knot formed in my stomach and my chest felt tight as I rose from the ground to stand "A rare site" spoke an old but tender voice from behind me "I don't think I've ever seen a Targaryen pray to a God that isn't their own before" turning around, I was met by an old man with short white hair and prickly stubble. His eyes are a clouded brown and his clothes a little tattered and dirty.

"I'm searching for hope"

"Hope. Very powerful" the man nodded "As long there is hope, even a single thread, then there is always possibility – there's always a chance"

"A chance is all I ask for" I replied "A chance that the Mother will listen to my prayers, at least just this once" there was a moment of silent and curiosity before I asked "I've never met you before here in the Sept, and I can't say that many people approach royalty so _casually_. May I ask who you are?"

"I'm a simple man looking to open the eyes of this city. A man who believes in the humble life void of gold and bloodshed. I don't believe titles and names should divide one man's fortune to another man's suffering" he answered "You may have a renowned name, silk dresses and the finest of all things, but there will always be one commodity that no amount of money or power could ever buy – and that is _life_. It's the very thing you've come to pray for, isn't it?"

I nodded hesitantly "Yes, it is"

"Then I shall pray for you as well" he said "For we are all equals when it comes to the mercy and grace of the Mother"

* * *

 _The night was cold as I stood in a field of grass, the long green blades tickling the skin of my thighs. The moon glowed in the sky like a great beacon and there were a thousand stars speckled around it. There wasn't a cloud in site and it was deathly quiet, like all the people and animals in the world had suddenly disappeared. I felt a sense of dread wash over me, a tingle starting from the tips of my toes to rise all the way to the back of my neck; where the little hairs stood on edge._

 _Then I could hear it. The thundering beat of its monstrous wings as it flew overhead. It was a shadow of death, its scales black as night. The ear piercing shriek it let out had my heart pounding beneath my chest. My hands clutched at my ears. It sounded like a cry of pain and suffering. Tears stung at the back of my eyes as I watched it descend onto Kingslanding. The great city that lay in the distance with a soft glow of oil lamps and torches._

 _The people were all asleep. They didn't know what was coming until it was too late. I tried to warn them, I tried to call out, but all I could really do was watch as the dragon so fierce and powerful decimated the city with its fire. I could feel the heat of the flames as it melted stone walls. The silence had been overtaken by screams and I crumbled to my knees when the buildings collapsed one after the other. So much death. So much suffering._

 _Falling to my side, I curled into myself and closed my eyes. Crying, I tried to drown out the sound of their deaths until it all finally stopped. Silence took over the air once again and when I opened my eyes I saw myself lying on a pile of ash in what used to be my bedroom. It was melted, distorted, everything burnt to a cinder. Nothing was left untouched by the dragon's flames and as I found myself walking the halls of the Red Keep, I could smell the fowl scent of burnishing flesh. Corpses are everywhere, all of them holding pure agony on their charred faces._

 _I tried not to look, until I came upon a door painted with crimson blood. Reaching out, I pushed it open. I could smell the pungent scent of copper mixed with freshly cut roses. The room was bare and unburned. It seemed as if nothing had happened at all. Standing in the middle of the empty room is a cradle. Rhaegar was leaning over it, rocking it gently while he sang a familiar song. As I stepped forward, he didn't acknowledge my presence. Instead he kept his eyes down cast and when I'd finally made it to the cradle, I looked down into it._

 _What I saw was death staring right back at me._

* * *

It was halfway through the night when I awoke in my bed with a searing pain in my belly and a throb between my legs. When I reached down underneath the blanket I could feel the sticky smear coating the inside of thighs. The wetness had soaked its way through the crotch of my gown and I knew then what had happened. I could smell the awful stench of blood as it wafted from beneath the sheets, and just like my dream, a piercing shriek filled with pain and suffering echoed out into my room. Only the cry didn't come from a soaring dragon in the sky – it had come from me.

Tears streamed down my face as the doors to my room busted open to allow the guards into my room. It was dark and they couldn't see. I suppose they thought there was an intruder, their heads flickering this way and that to try and find the man responsible for my scream "Your grace. What is it?" one of the guards finally asked when he couldn't tell what was wrong.

My bloodied hands fisted the thick blanket as I continued to feel the stabbing pain "I need the Maester" I winced out.

The guard was silent for a brief moment until he turned to his comrade "What are you waiting for? Get the Maester!" he bellowed. I didn't listen to what the man said after that, but before I knew it, he too was gone. I was left alone, silent and crying; like the all the people and animals had disappeared from the world.

Sobbing, I heard the scuff of shoes before the voice of my Mother found its way into my ears "Rhaella!" she called my name in panic. Her brows knitted as she came to kneel at the side of my bed. She was still dressed in a night gown with nothing but a robe to cover her modesty. Her silver platted over her shoulder, a little loose from the hours of sleep "Your hands" she said after taking them in her own; their covered in smears of blood.

More tears flowed down to drip along my cheeks "I tried to tell you, and you didn't listen" I said with a sniffle "No one can know. Please, Mother. Help me. Help me hide it"

My cheeks ached and my throat was sore. Mother hushed me gently "Rhaella. The guards. The servants. Too many people have seen" her brows furrowed. She didn't know what to do to calm me from my panicked state "It'll be alright. The Maester's coming. He'll help you" she tried to reassure me.

A few minutes passed and I was still crying, but I'd managed to somewhat muffle my sobs. Soon I heard the sound of ringed chains and armour jingling down the hallway "When _he_ comes, don't let _him_ in" I quickly spoke to Mother while squeezing her hand "I don't want Rhaegar to see me – not like this" she didn't get to answer me before Pycelle entered into my room, carrying his familiar brown bag. The door closed behind him to give us privacy.

"What is your injury your grace? I shall remedy it immediately" he grumbled in a calm sort of voice; a little out of the breath from running so far.

"The princess has miscarried" Mother replied for me "Make sure she is well taken care of"

The Maester stood stunned at her words. His face held an expression mixed with shock and blankness as his cloudy eyes stared at me. Another second passed "Yes" he muttered "I will see to it" he placed his bag down while Mother kissed the back of my hand.

Getting up from beside my bed, she walked over to the bedroom door and opened it enough to speak to the guard waiting outside "Go to the servant quarters. Tell them to bring towels, fresh linens and enough hot water to fill a bath. Do it quickly" the guard nodded before he rushed off once again.

The Maester hobbled over to my side and pressed the back of his wrinkled hand against my forehead. He said "There's a bit of warmth. Sweating" he proceeded to listen to my heartbeat "Stable rhythm" once he was finished, Pycelle stood straight again and took a step back so that he could look at us both "The best for now will be to clean yourself and rest. I will prescribe milk of the poppy for the pain"

"Very well" spoke Mother with a nod of her head "Thank you"

The old man bowed "Of course. If the princesses condition worsens, come to me immediately" Pycelle collected his bag of things and hobbled to the door. When he opened it, servants began to file in with buckets of hot water. They all headed to the bathroom to fill the tub before leaving.

Mother came back to my side and clutched the blanket in order to peel it back, but I was hesitant to let it go. I didn't want to see the mess – the blood "You need to bathe or you'll get an infection" she explained softly.

I released my grip, but before she pulled the blanket away she gripped my chin and made me look at her "Don't look" she said "It's better if you don't see. Close your eyes" I trusted her and did what she said. I felt the blanket being pulled away. I felt the cold and I smelt the pungent scent became stronger. It made me feel sick. I'm glad I couldn't see, but I could steel feel it. Sloshing around and sticking to me as I got up off the bed.

Mother held my hands to guide me from the bed to my bathroom. My eyes were still closed as I let my nightgown drop to the floor. It was then that I opened my eyes so that I could step into the awaiting tub filled with cloudy white water. Sitting down, I could smell the scent of light fragrances. Coming up from behind me, Mother clipped my hair up away from the water. I could see it was turning the lightest shade of pink as I started to wash myself.

Once I was done, I stood from the water and out of the tub. Wrapping a towel around my body, I shivered from the cold as another wave of sadness hit me, I sniffled. After drying myself as best I could, I dressed into a fresh nightgown before walking alongside Mother into my bedroom. The linens had been changed with fresh ones, although I could still smell the hint of copper in the air. But as soon as my eyes landed on the trembling form of a servant girl by the door, I froze.

Rhaegar stood in front of her, his hands clutching at the bloodied sheets to inspect them. When he noticed my presence he paused and shoved the material back at the servant "Get out" he ordered, his voice low but firm. Immediately the servant girl rushed off and the door closed behind her with a thud. Then he turned to us, menacing and shrouded with anger. Deep eyes landed on me and I could barely breathe.

I didn't know what to say, but Mother hand stepped beside me to speak "You shouldn't – "

"I shouldn't what?" Rhaegar hissed "Shouldn't be here? Shouldn't know?" he looked from Mother to me. There was a moment of silence "Leave. I will speak to her alone"

"She has been through too much tonight. She is tired and I will not have you _interrogate_ your sister" Mother spoke firmly, like a Queen. But in this moment I was surprised. Not long ago she had told me she would hold no blame or consequence and yet here she is, defending me.

"If you won't leave then I'll ask my question now, and you will answer me with honesty, as I deserve" Rhaegar stepped forward until he was but a step in front of me "Did you know?"

My head lowered to the ground and I briefly glanced to my Mother. I don't know what to do or how to answer. I wanted to lie, so that we wouldn't suffer. I wanted to tell the truth, so that I could relieve the weight that bore down on me so heavy and painfully. My mouth opened but no words came out.

"Answer me!" he barked.

"No!" tears welled in my eyes as a sharp jolt ran through my heart "No" I felt the trickle of salty beads roll down my cheeks. My face began to ache and burn and sobs racked my body before I felt strong arms wrap around me – Rhaegars. I clutched to him, burying my face into his chest. He held me for as long as I need, caressing my waist and my locks of hair while I listened to his heartbeat.

The after a moment longer he leant away so that he could place a warm kiss onto my lips, before stepping back "Take care of her" he spoke gently this time. Letting go of me completely, Rhaegar's hand skimmed along my cheek before turning and leaving my room. When the door closed I gasped for breath as more tears flowed, my hands reaching up to cup my face.

Mothers hand rested on my shoulder "Come" guiding me back to my bed, I tucked myself under the covers while Mother went to get a glass of water. I watched as she dripped a few drops of Milk of the Poppy into the cup before bringing it over to me "Drink. It'll take the pain for now" I nodded and drank as much as I could before laying down.

Sitting on the side of me bed, Mother combed her fingers through my now loose hair before starting to hum the familiar tune. It began to soothe me as the drink took effect. The pain dulled to something bearable while my eye site became hazy, and slowly I went to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Sorry for not updating regularly but I got the flue and it's been absolutely savage. I've also been busy with getting things ready for University, but enough excuses - here's the next chapter. I must warn you "Shitith has hitith the fanith" in this chapter. Let me know what you think and I appreciate all the reviews I can get :) Cheers!**

* * *

For weeks I was bed bound. For weeks I had to stare at the same four walls of my bedroom with nothing but the muttering of my mind and Septa to keep me company. It was constant torment as I laid on the same mattress, and every time I closed my eyes to sleep I would relive the horrible moment. Sometimes I'd wake with a cold sweat and sometimes I'd wake up screaming. The Maester had to keep giving me essence of Nightshade to calm me down and give me some form of rest.

I was slowly fading away.

For a couple of days after it happened, I kept trying to convince myself that it wasn't affecting me. I tried to tell myself that I had braced for it. But even though I knew it was coming, nothing could ever prepare me for the emptiness it would leave behind. I had landed into a large pit filled with guilt, anger and sadness. I could feel it slowly eating away at me on the inside and nothing I did would make it go away.

There was no _Milk of the Poppy_ for the type of pain I feel.

After a while I couldn't take it anymore, being held prisoner in that room. I argued with heated words and teary eyes until they gave me what I wanted – freedom. I was allowed to roam around the castle again and the first place I visited was the nursery of my little brother – Viserys. Standing by his crib I watched as he slept so peacefully. The knuckle on my finger brushed against the soft pale skin of his round cheek.

"He's grown, hasn't he?" asked the gentle voice of Mother as she stood by the door.

"It's beautiful" I replied "Just a few months gone and he's already changed so much. His hair has grown a little longer and his body a little bigger. Soon he'll be a grown man with girls chasing after him" I jested. A crease formed on my brow "And to think I could have had that for my own"

"You will" spoke Mother as she came over to my side "This isn't the end"

I sighed "I should have told him. There was an opportunity to speak the truth and get it all out of the way, but I didn't. I was too afraid. Too much of a coward to confess what I did" I spoke "But I can't imagine him knowing the truth – "

Mother grabbed my arms to make me look at her "The truth is what you told him last night. It's the only _truth_ he and anyone else is ever going to _know_. You can't change it, so live with it. Don't speak about the past any longer. Wipe your tears and straighten your back, because if you don't it'll continue to tear you apart"

I was a little lost for words as I listened to her speak.

Reaching up, I wiped the tears from my eyes with a nod. I didn't realise I was crying until now. Pulling me into her arms, Mother held me and I felt a sense of calm wash over me. Pulling way after a moment, I straightened myself out. I need to think. I need to be alone "I'll be in the gardens. I need some fresh air" she nodded in response and after one brief glance at the crib I left.

Heading through and out of the castle, I made it to the main courtyard near the stable when I was interrupted by someone keeping step beside me. My eye site caught the blur of a man with no hair and he was dressed in silk robes. I stopped walking and turned to look at him "Varys" I spoke "What do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"The pleasures all mine your grace" Varys bowed his head before he stood with a sad look in his eye "I wanted to give you my sincere condolences on your loss. I would have come sooner only I didn't want to disturb you in your recovery"

"Thank you. It's very kind" I replied remotely. I looked the eunuch up and down before gesturing with my hand "Would you walk with me?"

"If it pleases your grace" he nodded. Although I didn't want company, I couldn't help but think back to what Mother had said to me a few weeks. She told me that Varys has many 'birds'. That there isn't anything he doesn't already know about. I wanted to see if it were true and what his intentions might be toward it.

Heading further into the gardens, we passed a few people here and there while remaining in silence and it wasn't until a death like quietness overcame us that I stopped walking and turned to face Varys "I wanted to speak to you about an important and personal matter" I started "I understand you have an _ability_ to acquire certain information, whether it be important or not"

"I know what it is you're asking of me and I give you my word, your secret is safe with me" he replied with a serious look "However, I can't say the same for the others" Varys had confirmed the question on my mind, but in doing so he had also aroused more concerning ones.

"What others?" my heart started to beat a little quicker.

"Pycelle. The Queen" he began and I interjected.

"That's absurd" I said with small scoff "My Mother would never betray me, and as for Pycelle, I'm not worried in the slightest. He won't speak if he wants to live"

"I admire your loyalty and fierceness princess, but this is an entirely different game. Different rule and different consequences" Varys spoke "And one thing I've come to learn from this game is that sooner or later the truth always comes out"

I shook my head "Not this time. I'll do whatever I have to, to make sure that never happens" I looked Varys in the eye. I felt the faintest tingle of hope "It's dangerous, I know. But would you help me?"

"I'm not a gambling man your grace, but if I were to place a bet on the outcome of this ordeal, I wouldn't put it on you" he replied "The way I see it is, the odds are not in your favour. If this were to end the wrong way, it could land my head on a spike – and I quite like where it is now"

"Is that your way of saying _no_?"

"It's my way of saying this won't end well, no matter which road you take" he replied "I can't offer you protection but I can offer you advice – tell the truth, the whole truth. Lies and secrets are like festering wounds, the longer you ignore it the worse it gets" Varys paused to let it sink in "The outcome might surprise you. He may even forgive your decision"

I looked down at the ground, my arms rested by my sides and my hands fisted a bunch of fabric from my skirt. Maybe I should do it. Mother warned me in the beginning, and now Varys is telling me the same thing. Both of them agree that the best course of action is to tell Rhaegar. Both of them know it's a stupid idea to keep it a secret, that it would be worse if I did. Who knows, Varys might even be right, Rhaegar might forgive me. But what about my Father? The old man would be furious. He'd use it against me and torment me with it until the day he dies. I don't want that. I don't want the possibility of things being horrible and nightmarish.

"As I said your grace, I offer you my _advice_ – it is still your choice" spoke Varys, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I nodded and looked up into his brown eyes "I've made my decision"

* * *

With the rest of the day slowly passing by, the night had taken over and I became more nervous by the second. Having made my way to the dining hall so that I could eat with my family for the first time in weeks, it had remained very quiet beside the clanking of cutlery and the sound of chewing.

Sitting on my usual chair beside Mother, I kept my head down for the most part. I couldn't find it in me to look at Rhaegar. I had lied to him _that_ night and I've kept on lying since then. Every so often he'd come to my room to comfort me, to tell me everything would be alright. He was understanding and gentle. But now every time I look at him I feel nothing but guilt and sadness.

Staring down at the food on my plate, I'd eaten a few bits here and there and now I was just pushing a piece of carrot around on my plate. Mother leant over to whisper to me "Don't play with your food Rhaella" I gently dropped the fork to the side and sat back in my chair, my gaze now fixating on the goblet standing by my plate.

"It is normal to mourn daughter" spoke my Father, although I didn't turn my eyes to look at him "But these unfortunate things happen in life all the time, some bigger than others. However, there comes a time when you must pick yourself up and move on to better things"

"Not now" Mother said with a hiss in her tone.

"Hush woman, I was not talking to you" Father replied with a firm stare in her direction "Surely she can speak for herself and not have to hide behind her Mother's skirt"

"I am not hiding" I growled, my fingers tightening on the end of the wooden arm rests of the chair. I turned to look at him "What exactly is it that you want me to say?" I questioned with a glare "It doesn't matter does it? Because whatever my answer is, it's never going to be good enough. Just like _I've_ never been good enough. It's always been _him_. Always. Why not me? I'm your only daughter, and yet, since the moment I was born, you've pushed me aside like I'm nothing but a worthless sack of shit!"

"You've been given everything a woman could ever dream of possibly having. Do you wear rags?" he questioned "No" he then answered "Do you go hungry? No. Do you have shelter? Yes. And what do I have in return? Nothing but an ungrateful child" he spoke firmly "If I had half the mind, I'd of thrown you out onto the streets a _long_ time ago"

"I'd _rather_ have nothing, than have to live here with you for one more _fowl_ second. Your nothing but a cruel, sadistic, _old_ man" I spat.

Father stood from his chair with a swift motion and I quickly followed "You dare speak to your King in that manner!" he hissed with an evil glare in his clouded eyes. His hands were braced on the table and fisted into a white knuckled grip.

"I _dare_ speak to my _Father_ in that manner" I retorted "You are no King"

Father raised his hands and pointed at me, his face gone red with rage "Se ao tala issi daor ābra. Aōha festering womb lēdan rūsīr morghon speaks syt itself" (And you daughter are no woman. Your festering womb filled with death speaks for itself) he seethed in Valyrian.

"Enough!" Rhaegar slammed his hand down on the table, but I barely heard it. I had been deafened by Fathers words. They stung like a blade to the heart and the air had been sucked from my lungs before a wave of numbness overcame me. I only came out of my void of blankness when Mother had taken my hand. Startled I looked down at her as she sat beside me.

Gently pulling away from her, I moved from my chair and made a swift exit from the dining hall. I could hear Father bellowing after me, but I didn't care. I needed to get away from him. Walking fast down the hall, I wiped my cheeks of tears as they dripped down one after the other. I looked over my shoulder when I heard heavy footsteps sounding from behind me. I thought it might have been Father, but it was Rhaegar.

Picking up my speed I walked faster and pushed into the first empty room I could find. It was filled with a few shelves with scrolls and books as well as a wooden desk with papers and writing inks. My back was facing the door when Rhaegar came into the room "Stop following me" I said firmly "Go away" feeling his hand on my shoulder, I shrugged his grip and spun around. I shoved him, not hard but light enough to send him the message "I said leave"

"Don't listen to him" Rhaegar spoke. He refuses to do as I say. He refused to leave "What he says isn't true – none of it"

I scoffed "It is – it's the most truthful thing he's ever said. I'm the most useless, worthless, unappreciative person in the entire world. You don't have to lie to me Rhaegar. You don't have to keep consoling me, trying to tell me that I'm a good person and that I've done nothing wrong – I've don't plenty wrong, and you all think it. The only difference is you won't say it to my face"

Rhaegar stepped closer to me, his hands landing on either side of my waist "Don't tell me what to believe Rhaella. I already know the truth and you _aren't_ a horrible person – and you can't control what can't be controlled. What happened was not your fault, I've said it so many times but you never look as if you believe me" he sighed lightly as he looked into my eyes "Why won't you believe me?"

"Because I am liar" I whispered. I clutched one of his hands from my waist and raised it to my lips so that I could kiss the back "Everything I did, I did to protect us. The truth is – I knew all along. This baby, _our_ baby, it wasn't a horrific surprise like I led you to believe"

Just as I knew he would, Rhaegar immediately snatched his hand away from my own before clutching my jaw to make me look up into his piercing gaze; angered, shocked and still confused "You knew about this baby and you told no one?"

My lips pursed, I told Mother but I wasn't going to tell Rhaegar she knew. Mother doesn't deserve his wrath because of a fault that is my own "It was better that way" I answered. Rhaegar pushed me from his hold and stumbled a step back. My jaw ached from his bruising grip.

"How was that a better decision in your eyes?!" he barked.

"Because I was scared! Because I was frightened!" I replied with a whine "I didn't want you to suffer if it were to die, and I was right – this child _died_ " Rhaegar stepped forward and raised his hand as if he were about to slap me, but paused just before he did. Balling his hand into a fist instead, Rhaegar lowered it to his side.

His tone went to something menacing "Never again will I comfort you. I will not hold you, kiss you, call you my sister or my wife. You have lost my love and for the rest of your days, you _will_ remember – the death of our child is on your hands" straightening himself, he leered down at me before turning and leaving the room.

Varys was right and he was wrong. The truth always comes out and Rhaegar was _far_ from forgiving. I made a wrong move in the great game and this is the price of my mistake. I don't think there is any coming back from this. I think this just might be the end of me – of us.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N It's been forever, but a review I recently got made me feel so bad I haven't updated. As always, I hope you enjoy the new chapter and let me know what you think. I'll try to update regularly from now on but I've been working on a few new stories. Head over to my account on FictionPress to check them out, there all original (mostly smutty one-shots). The account is Pandora10001. Cheers :)**

Sitting at the vanity table in my room I peered at the withered person that stared straight back at me. She was cold. Her skin paler and sickly looking. The beautiful glow that once surrounded me was now dim – a damp shadow. Rhaegar hasn't spoken to me since that night. He doesn't see me like he used to. He stays far, far away. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought he'd left the castle.

I've never felt so _drained_.

"Your grace, it's time we made our way down. Your family will be waiting for you. I don't think they'd appreciate any more of a delay" spoke Septa from behind me. She stepped into the reflection. I think she noticed my _change_. I barely speak anymore and when I do it's a raspy couple of words at best.

"Yes" I replied before slowly standing up. It's been a few weeks since the argument and more quickly than I'd expected, it was time to start our travel to Harrenhal for the tourney.

Of course I didn't want to go. Not in the weak and pathetic condition that I've put myself in. I don't want the other nobles to see me like this and bicker amongst themselves. I don't want rumours spreading or snickers of disapproval being made. I wanted the people to see me as their rightful future Queen and for now, their Princes; a strong and fierce woman like her Mother. I didn't want them to know the truths.

Making our way out of the castle, we passed a few marching Gold Cloaks here and there and as we made our way closer to the main courtyard, I started to feel lightheaded. I wondered if Rhaegar was going to be there. I haven't seen him in what feels like so long. I wondered what he'd do or what he'd say to me if he were. Probably nothing at all.

Waiting as the doors to the courtyard were held open for me, I stepped outside to see my Mother waiting for me. I assumed our Father had already taken a seat inside the carriage; which there were two. I must be traveling by myself with Septa. I felt nauseous at the small glimmer that Rhaegar might be coming with me, but as I looked to see his black Stallion prepared and waiting, I knew that wouldn't be the case.

I took a relieved breath. I'm not ready to be so close and confined with him yet, and I'm sure Rhaegar feels the same "There you" spoke Mother as I walked over to her. She gently placed her slender hands on my shoulders and gave me a brief glance up and down "You don't look so well"

"I don't _feel_ so well" I replied "I want to stay"

Mother gave me a sympathetic sigh. Beside Septa, Mother is the only one who's ever talked to me since the argument. She found out when I told her I'd confessed, but I was eternally grateful the horrible secret was not uttered to my Father. I suppose Rhaegar didn't want to have to deal with his procrastination either, or the chance Father would tell the world. In a way, the miscarriage is still a secret. A _dirty_ family secret that no one will ever know.

"I know you want to stay, and I would let you if it weren't so important that we attend. Just rest assured that it's only for a week and then we'll be back on the road for home" spoke Mother with a smile as she caressed my cheek "Now, get yourself settled. We have a long journey ahead of us"

I nodded my head. Walking over to my carriage, Mother had gone over to the one she was sharing with Father, but just as I was about to step up to climb inside. I heard the doors of the castle open again. Turning I watched as Rhaegar strode forward, his face set firmly. Making his way over to his horse, he never once looked at me. He ignored my presence as if I weren't even there and swiftly mounted his horse. Taking the reins he gave a slight kick of his boot before moving forward up to the head of the line.

"Your grace?" spoke Septa as she sat in the carriage waiting for me. I gently shook my head before getting inside. The door closed behind me and after a minute, I felt the familiar pull as the wheels started to turn. It's going to be a very long journey. A very miserable and hurtful one. I wasn't looking forward to it.

* * *

Riding for four days, we stopped only a couple of times to rest and water the horses before continuing on, and each time I never once encountered Rhaegar. He'd always elude me wherever we spent the night. Even when I asked the soldiers where he might be, they'd tell me that he _wishes to be alon_ e. It wasn't until the sixth day on the trail to Harrenhal that I mustered enough courage and strength to try and find himself.

I just wanted to hear the sound of his deep voice.

I wanted to feel the heaviness of his gaze as he looked down at me.

Stopping a little ways from the Kingsroad, the soldiers and handful of servants had set up tents for us to camp in for the night. It wasn't the most comfortable, but I preferred it from the Tavern Inns. I didn't like the look of some of the grubby men there along with the grubby women. They spoke vulgarly and continuously groped one another in full view for all to see.

Looking up into the sky, the sun had set a few hours ago and so the colour above is a dark blue, not quite black but I could still see the stars shining through. Focusing my vision back down to the Earth, I took a quick glance around trying to see the familiar face and head of hair. But like always, he's nowhere in sight. Roaming around the huddled campsite amongst the scattered trees, a few fires had been lit for the night and some of the soldiers were already sitting around talking about random subjects. Sometimes they'd laugh boisterously.

"Is there something you're looking for m'lady?" a servant with a bundle of stick had approached me with a curious gaze in her eyes.

"Yes" I nodded "I'm looking for my brother. Do you know where he might be?" the servant pursed her lips. She was thinking before giving me a nod of her head and pointing to my left "The last I saw, he was heading toward the river over there"

"Thank you" I said appreciatively. I should have asked a servant sooner instead of a soldier. Moving around her, I trekked through the scattered trees and pushed past a few bushes to get to the river bank. I still couldn't see him anywhere in site. Maybe he had left.

Not giving up, I walked along the river bank to see if I could find him when I saw the familiar black body of Rhaegars horse. The beast of an animal was grazing along the grass, and just a few steps away I found Rhaegar crouched down beside the river bank to wash his hands. Approaching as quietly as I could, I know he would have heard the rustling my shoes made through the grass, but he didn't make a move to leave.

Instead he waited until I was a few steps beside him "What do you want?" he asked. I lost all thought and feeling in my limbs for a split second. The sound of his voice made my throat become tight as butterflies tickled my stomach. I didn't actually think I would find him and I didn't think he'd actually speak to me after so long – after what he said to me that night.

Why was I here? What was I going to say to him? I didn't know. I hadn't thought this far ahead "I wanted to speak to you" I finally replied, unsure of my own words.

"Then speak" Rhaegar wasn't kind. His words were firm instead of loving and he still had yet to look at me. Instead he remained crouched beside the river stream.

It took me a moment to regain my previous confidence. I had barely said a word and I was almost on the verge of crying; my vision slowly blurring from the tears "I want you to come back" I said with a weak and pleading voice "I don't want you to keep avoiding me. I don't want you to keep treating me like this"

Rhaegar stood up and looked down at me, as if I were an ant and he was the shoe "I will treat you the way you _deserve_ to be treated" he replied. His once hypnotising eyes were now vicious as they bore down at me. I had to look away.

"It was my fault and I will take the blame, but I can't keep doing this. I can't keep feeling this way. I don't want you to hate me forever. I made a terrible mistake, I know. But I want to fix it. I want to fix us" salty tears fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I felt sobs leaves my mouth and I tried to muffle them with sleeve of my dress, but they still echoed through the fabric.

Rhaegar did nothing. He stood there and watched me. Then, after a minute he spoke "You want to fix this? You want to make me happy?" he questioned. I nodded furiously. A small beam of hope swelled in my chest "Then turn around and walk away" he added "I don't want you here" the hope, as quickly as it came, was crushed in an instant.

The air became stuck in my lungs and I felt light headed. More tears came after that and I couldn't take it anymore – I left. Moving swiftly, I got as far away as I could, as quickly as I could. Heading back to the camp site I furiously wiped my tears and bowed my head to keep the others from seeing the mess I was in. Finding my tent, I entered and walked over to collapse on my bed.

Burying my face into the feather pillow – I screamed.

* * *

For the remainder of the journey I was silent and still. I stayed in my carriage for when we travelled and I stayed in my tent or room for when we settled for the night. Each and every night I was haunted my Rhaegars words – _all_ of his words. But above else, I was haunted by the miscarriage and the memories it had created. Somehow I could still feel the _pain_. I could still feel the wet stickiness as it clung to my skin along with the stench of blood. No matter how many times I tried to scrub it all away or douse it with layers of perfume, it was still there; strong and pungent.

It was a scar that would never fade.

Arriving late in the evening, we made our final journey down the last bit of road. Pulling the curtain to my carriage window back, I could see a grand tourney arena had been set up just outside the castle along with a city of tents. For a moment I could barely believe what I was looking at. The magnificent yet damaged Harrenhall stood monstrous and tall before me. I suddenly remembered all the tales I had been told about it. How long it took to build and how many men it took to arm.

Watching as we entered under the black gate of the castle, the hooves of the horses clicked against the stone floor before coming to a halt. Septa leant forward and brushed a wisp of my hair out of the way "I know it's difficult, but try to smile. Say what you need to say and then no more if you don't want to" I nodded my head. Septa's right. I still have a name and image that I need to uphold.

Waiting, it wasn't long until a servant opened the door of our carriage and I stepped out. Walking over to join my family, I stood beside Mother as a tall stout man by the name of Walter Whent knelt before my Father and kissed his hand "My King. It is an honour to receive your presence and I welcome you all to my humble home" he spoke before rising "I've made arrangements for a grand feast to be held in the hall, if you would care to join us"

Taking a look around, I had tuned out of the conversation to roam my eyes over the interior of the castle. I've never seen it so up close and personal before. It's a true marvel despite the fact it had been half melted by dragon fire so many years ago. Suddenly I was taken from my daydreaming when I was subtly nudged from the side. It was Mother.

"Forgive my daughter. She hasn't been quite herself recently" apologised my Mother.

Lord Whent simply chuckled and a flush of embarrassment heated my cheeks "There's nothing to forgive. Young minds are often a little distracted by new things" spoke the Lord with a kind smile as he stood before me "If you would like, your grace, I'd be more than happy to give you a tour of the castle"

I nodded with a quick smile "I would grateful"

"Then it's settled" he said with another chuckle and clap of his hands "But for now, I'm sure your journey has been long and tiresome. I've had tents prepared for you with finest feather beds and silks. My son, Thomas, will show you the way"

"Much appreciated" spoke my Mother with a smile. Stepping up, a young man with brown hair and blue eyes stood beside Lord Whent. I assume him to be Thomas, his son.

Following alongside Mother and Father, Septa stayed behind to sort the luggage. It wasn't until we were being guided back out of the castle gate and toward the city of tents that I realised Rhaegar was nowhere in sight. He hadn't been there for the introduction either.

"This is your tent, my King and Queen" Thomas held back the flap and Father strode inside without a word of appreciation. Mother followed after him with at least a smile before Thomas turned to me "This way, if you will" he spoke with a gesture of his arm. I followed alongside him to the tent opposite my Mother and Fathers "I hope it is to you and your brothers liking, Princess"

I swallowed the lump in my throat "Yes, it will be" Thomas held open the flap of my tent and I walked in. Waiting a moment until he was gone, I sighed. I'm supposed to share a tent with a person that can barely tolerate my presence. This week is sure to be a nightmare.

"You should get dressed" I gasped in surprise before whipping around to see the owner of the familiar voice "The feast will be starting shortly" Rhaegar was standing by the small table in the centre of the tent, dressed in new clothes. How didn't I notice him? He must have been on the other side of the curtain to the washroom.

I was stunned on what to say "Why are you here?"

"Why do you think?" he asked while pouring a glass of wine.

"I didn't think you'd want to stay in the same room as me, let alone the same bed"

"In truth, I don't" he said hurtfully "But for the sake of public appearance, I must" walking over to me, Rhaegar was but a step away when he held out the glass of wine "You should have a drink. You look terrible" he said bluntly.

I gritted my teeth as I took the glass from his hands. Giving me one last look, Rhaegar moved passed me and left the tent. Peering down into the ruby red liquid, I angrily tossed the cup onto the floor; the wine splashing everywhere as my hands came up to hold my face. I sniffled before wiping the few stray tears.

"Your grace?" it was Septa. Coming into the tent from behind me, two men carried my trunk inside the tent before leaving. Walking over to it, I knelt down and unclipped the locks before pushing up the lid.

"Help me get dressed. The feast will be starting soon and I don't want to be late" I just want this night to be over. Then I can go to bed and escape this place along with this horrid world – if only for a short while.

Septa came to my side "Of course your grace"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N You're all probably going to shout at me for writing this chapter, but it was either going to happen in this update or the next – so yeah. Anyway, drop a review if you're so inclined.**

 **Also, there's this one reader out there who sent me this very long message. It was from a Guest on chapter 19 (you said you're a student of literature). I just want to say thank you very much. What you said meant a lot to me and I'm really overwhelmed that you've read my story that many times. If I could reach through the screen and hug you, I would. You're an absolute champ, so cheers!** **J**

 **Warning: I told you at the very start of the first chapter that not very nice things are going to happen in this story – well this is it.**

* * *

It's time for the feast.

Keeping a hold of my skirt so that it didn't drag along in the mud and grass, I followed the trail of lit torches until I found my way back to the Harrenhal. Heading through the large open gate, there's a handful of soldier here and there along with fire barrels to keep you warm and light the way. The hall the feast is being held in is just a couple of meters away and already I can hear the sound of music along with the noisiness of a large crowed.

Heading over, the large wooden doors were wide open and people came and went as they pleased. Stepping inside, the smell of wine, ale and roasted foods filled my lungs to leave my mouth watering. I could see rows of wooden tables and chairs lining the hall for the array of nobles and others. There were also hearths everywhere to house burning fires and a space at the far back had been reserved for those that wanted to dance.

Finding Mother seated beside Father at the head table, I went over and made myself comfortable on the seat beside her "This looks rather entertaining" I spoke to her while roaming my eyes over the people below. A majority of them laughed and joked with each other, while some of the older families remained calm and contained at their tables.

"It's certainly lively and extravagant" Mother replied with a smile on her lips "I must ask. Do you know where your brother is? I haven't seen him since before we arrived. His absence was noted at our arrival and now he's nowhere to be found for the feast"

"It most likely has something to do with me" I sighed with a sad look on my face "Rhaegars making good on his promise to have nothing to do with me, and I doubt anything _I_ have to say will make him feel any different. I've already tried"

Mother leant in close to my side as we spoke in hushed voices. It was loud and people were distracted, but we still didn't want the chance for some passer-by to hear us "I wish I could say something that could comfort you, but men don't like to be deceived no matter what the reason"

"I'm not going to change my side of the story. I did what I had to do and if he doesn't understand that by now, then he never will" I sighed "I'm worried about the people. They aren't stupid, and if Rhaegar keeps disappearing and ignoring his duties then they'll gossip. I'm trying to bridge the gap before it becomes any worse than it already is, but I can't do that when he refuses to be anywhere near me"

"Then find a time and place where you two can be alone and undisturbed" replied Mother "Tell him how you feel. Tell him everything you want him to know and don't leave or let him walk away until he listens"

I gave a light scoff "You and I both know it isn't that simple. Rhaegar does only what he wants. He's just like our Father in that aspect. No one can push him around and no one can stop him"

Picking up the cup of wine near my plate of my food, I was starting to relax and enjoy myself. Laughing at a joke that had been made, I was halfway through my third glass when I noticed a few heads here and there turn to look toward the door. Following their line of site in curiosity, my laughter died in an almost instant. It was then that I saw Rhaegar standing at the entrance of the door.

But it wasn't _him_ that had my stomach dropping so low to the ground and my fingernails digging into the armrests of my chair. It was the _girl_ standing beside him, holding his arm with a shy smile on her face. In an instant my heart ached as anger bubble in my veins. The feeling shot through my body like lightening and I wanted to tear out my hair and scream when he took her over to the dance floor – in full view for all to see.

My _husband_ has been nearly absence since we arrived at Harrenhal, and now his first public appearance is of him escorting another woman to the dance floor. A scrawny, boyish looking girl with long brown hair and blue eyes. How I wanted to smack the angelic smile off of her face as Rhaegar twirled her into his arms and held her with such softness it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge.

"Lord Whent?" I asked with a calm and smooth voice. My hands gripped my cup of vine so tight I thought it might break. I was seething in side.

"Yes your grace" he replied with a smile as he leant to look at me.

"I'm not entirely familiar with many of the nobles here at the tourney, but who is the _beautiful_ young girl dancing over there?" I asked "The one in the blue dress"

"Oh" he said with another smile after looking "That would be Rickard Starks only daughter, the lady Lyanna"

I hated that name.

I _loathed_ that name.

It was like acid on my tongue when I spoke it "Lyanna. What a lovely name" I muttered before taking a mouthful of my wine.

For the remainder of the feast I watched like a hawk from the dinner table as they danced together, occasionally taking a break to eat or drink. Rhaegar was laughing with her, smiling. It made painful cracks form in my heart. What was he doing? Why was he doing it?

Of course for anyone else it wouldn't look so obvious. The Prince was just dancing with a noble girl for the night. It was nothing to take too seriously. Only I saw everything they didn't. I saw the way Rhaegars hand lingered on her waist. How he looked at her like a rare flower. He was being so kind and gentle with her, while I sat over here alone and hurting. Rhaegar never once asked me to dance. He didn't even say a single word nor glanced at me.

"He's just being kind Rhaella" whispered Mother from beside me. She must have seen my face.

"Oh, is that what it is?" I questioned with a snicker. My eyes were glaring at the girl in the blue dress. The _lovely_ lady Lyanna "He knows _exactly_ what he's doing – and it's far from being _kind_ " swallowing the last of my wine I stood from my chair with a wobble in my step.

Mother grabbed my hand "Please, don't make a fool out of yourself" she pleaded.

"He already has made a fool out of me Mother" tugging my hand away, I made my way toward the opened door of the hall. I've had enough for one night.

Trying not to fall over, everything was moving in awkward directions and I felt myself stumbling on occasion. Shivering as I felt the cold, my shoes clicked along the stone floor as I walked toward the gate of the castle. Following the line of torches to the city of tents, there was next to no one outside beside the guard. It was incredibly quiet and peaceful out here in the open field as I trekked along the grass.

Making it to the tents, I was almost near my own when I heard a fuzzy call of my name drift across the air. I stopped to see who it was and rolled my eyes "Go away" I grunted with a shew motion of my hand as I stepped inside the large tent. It was Rhaegar, he was a few steps away and getting closer. I wish there was a door so that I could shut him out, but he instead he walked in right after.

"What are you doing leaving the feast to walk alone in the dark?" he asked firmly, as if I were doing something stupid and I should know better.

"I was getting away from you" I replied plainly as I turned around to look at him. There was a meter or two of distance between us "It's clear you don't want my company anymore, so why should you care where I am and what I'm doing?"

"Because our Mother is worried for you safety"

"She shouldn't be. I can take care of myself" I huffed with an annoyed tone as I reached down to unbuckle my shoes "Go back to your party and your pretty bitch in blue. I wouldn't want to ruin all the fun you two were having"

"You're jealous" Rhaegar stated.

"You would be two if I rubbed up against another man all night long" I retorted with a snap. Quickly kicking off my shoes I look at him as he stood with his arms crossed "Is that where you've been all this time, instead of with your family and host – _fucking_ another woman?"

Rhaegars eyes narrowed "Careful how you speak to me" I could tell he was angered but in the state that I'm in, I couldn't care less.

"Or what?" I asked feistily "What are you going to do if I you speak to you the way you _deserve_ to be spoken to?" Rhaegar wasn't impressed that I used his words against him "Are you going to hit me, is that it?" I questioned "Go ahead. It'll just prove how much of coward you really are. You're a sick and twisted bastard. You have no _idea_ what I've gone through. I've given you everything"

"Everything but your complete loyalty and duty to me as my wife!" he yelled "You lie and sneak behind my back, and then expect me to forgive you for killing our unborn child"

My eyes widened at his accusation. Picking up the closest object which was a book, I flung at him as hard as I could "I didn't kill it! It wasn't my fault that it died!" I yelled in reply "But now that I think about it, I'm glad. I'm _glad_ it doesn't have to put up with you as its father!"

A sharp snap sounded in the air as Rhaegar strode forward and back handed me across the face. Stumbling to fall to the ground from impact, I winced as I felt the stinging pain blossom along my right cheek. I was in shock. I never thought in a million life times that he would ever touch me in such a way, with such anger. Reaching down, Rhaegars fingers threaded to grab a hold of my hair.

Hauling me to my feet, he handled me like a ragdoll as his arm swept out to clear the square table in the centre of the room. Pushing me down, the edge dug into my hips and I squirmed and thrashed beneath the weight of Rhaegars body as he bunched up the skirt of my dress "What are you doing!" I screeched with wide eyes.

Kicking my legs, the adrenaline and fear in my body had me crashing back to reality with full force and I was fully aware of everything. That's when I started to beg and plead with tears blurring my eyes "Please, don't. Stop it!" I sobbed. Being so close to Rhaegar, I smelt the scent of his clothes along with the sour undertone of wine and – _her_.

The cold night air brush up against the skin of my legs and backside as my undergarments were pulled down with a quick tug, and despite the ruckus I was making, no one had come to my rescue. Couldn't they hear? Didn't they care? "You can't do this" I sobbed "It's not right" he wasn't answering me. He wasn't saying anything.

I fresh wave of tears and chocked sobs erupted when I felt him prodding from behind. My heart was pounding like galloping horses and when he filled me up with a hard thrust of his hips – I screamed. The pitched sound didn't last more than a second as his hand clamped over my mouth to keep me quiet. My own hands reached up to grab his forearm. It was painful, like a sharp blade being rammed into me over and over.

Moving my mouth I bit into hand and he hissed in pain as I tasted drops of blood. Despite the open wound Rhaegar still didn't remove his hand or stop, if anything it made it worse. The table beneath us rocked and creaked from the strain of his hard thrusts, and my throat became incredible sore from all of my screaming. I could barely breathe as the air was repeatedly forced from my lungs.

My fingernails dug into the leather sleeve of his forearm, trying to cling to something; even if it was him. It all seemed to last an eternity as I cried rivers down my cheeks. My ribs and chest dug into the hard surface beneath and my insides felt like they were on fire; burning and stretching every time he moved. It wasn't until I heard Rhaegars heavy breathing and manly grunts that I knew it would soon be over.

I whined with a croaky rumble as I felt a gush of warm and the slowing of his hips. Stopping all together he moved his hand from my mouth and I could finally draw in a lung full of air. Rhaegar was still hovering over me, his hands either side of my head. I didn't want to look at him and so I closed my eyes "You desperately wanted the answer to your question, and now you have it" he said "Give me a worthy son – and don't ever talk me that way again"

Pulling out me, Rhaegar stood and back away. Listening to the shuffling off his boots as he walked across the pelts that had been lain along the floor, I stood straight with a wince as I watched in my peripheral as he departed to the bed not far away. Falling back with a slight bounce of the feather stuffed mattress, he laid still and silent on the right side of the bed; his eyes closed and his chest easing into a steady rhythm.

Sinking to the floor with a shallow whimper, my teeth grated together at the aching and shooting pain between my thighs. Curling on the ground, I hugged myself as I stared at the candelabra that sat not far away. I watched as the yellow flames swayed and flickered, and when a gust of wind blew into the tent, tears rolled from my eyes as they were snuffed into a puff of trailing smoke.

What have we become?

* * *

The night was cold and almost unbearable. My eyes refused to close to allow sleep. I was too afraid and too hurt to be able to welcome the darkness. Instead I remained wide awake on the hard but also soft ground, and I listened to the breaths of the man who slept so peacefully despite all that he's done. I wondered for hours, debating myself on whether or not this was my consequence. I flipped through the history of my mind and the memories, collecting together all the bad things I've done in my life. I wondered if all of _that_ , let to _this_.

It was the early hours of the morning when I felt it. Not the warm beam of the morning light, but rather the warm hand of a _monster_. Rhaegar touched my arm. He was trying to draw me closer into his presence, I wouldn't allow it, not this time.

"Don't touch me" I growled before raising a hand and slapping him across the face. With a scowl on his beautiful face, he let me go so that I could curl tighter on the ground. Stepping over my weak body, Rhaegar left the tent. It was quiet and silent again.

Another amount of time passed before Septa came to my tent. Her voice was panicked as she spotted me on the floor by the table, items strewn all about after being swept away the night before. My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to block out her raking voice and the sound of my name being called.

"Rhaella" she gasped before kneeling down beside me "What happened?" her aged old eyes wide as she looked my dishelmed form up and down.

As soon as she touched me, I screamed. It felt like a white hot poker had been lain against my skin. I leant up and pushed her away "I said don't touch me!" my lungs panted for air as words fell from my mouth with no remorse "I don't want your filthy hands on me ever again"

"Your grace?" she whimpered, mortified by the situation before her "What ha-"

"Shut up!" I yelled "Stop talking to me" I pointed to the tent opening "I want you out. Just, get out!" I barked like a girl gone mad as my hand hit the floor "You're useless, pathetic and I want you out of my sight! Just go. Go away and don't come back"

Sitting on the floor I watched as the Septa scrambled to her feet and fled for her life. I swallowed the dryness in my throat as I stared at the tent opening. They all say it behind our backs, each and every one of them. They all know it's true. Maybe it is. Maybe after all of this – I have finally slipped into the malicious abyss of _madness_.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N Another update! I appreciate the bucket load of reviews I received from the last chapter. So many! As always thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think. Cheers :)**

There was thunder outside.

I could hear the rumble of the clouds above, along with the strong icy wind as it swept into my tent. I wish it would rain. It would save me from having to go outside at one point or another. Instead I could stay here where it's nice and safe; under the blankets with a sense of protection. After screaming at my Septa, she had run to leave only for Mother to take her place – she hasn't left my side since then.

Sitting in a tall chair not far from my bed, Mother sowed into her embroidery hoop. I don't want her to be here. She should be with Viserys; holding him and whispering sweet words. I stared at the wall of the tent as I lay on my side. After discovering me curled on the floor like a frightened animal, she helped me wash. But no matter how many times she asked me what was wrong – I didn't tell her. I didn't want her to know and to be angry or disgusted by the fact.

"Rhaella" I didn't even see her rise from her chair and walk to my side "You should eat. It'll make you feel better" I haven't touched anything since last night at the feast. A light cramping pain from hunger strung me.

I slowly sat up with a light grimace at the sharp ache between my thighs. Watching, Mother went over to grab the plate that had been set on the square table. Bringing it over she sat it on my lap and I looked down to see the assortment of fruits and cold meats. Picking at it, I ate a few things here and there, just enough to fill my stomach and stop it from growling at me.

Mother sat on the side of the bed to look at me. She took my hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze "You frightened us all last night. Your Septa is in tears. She doesn't know what happened to make you lash out so terribly, and neither do I" Mother paused before asking again "Please tell me what happened Rhaella. I can't help you if you don't"

I dropped piece of apple I had in my hand and shook my head "Nothing happened. I wasn't feeling well after I left – the wine" I went on to lie "Too many emotions"

Mother had a frown on her face as she rubbed soothing patterns into my hand with her thumb "Alright then. I'll let you have some time for yourself, that way you can rest easier. Maybe you'll feel better by tomorrow. They've post-pone the first match because of the storm, so at least you won't have missed anything" she said with a comforting tone.

I gave as much of a smile as I could. Getting up from my bedside, Mother grabbed her embroidery hoop and left the tent with graceful steps. Putting the tray of food aside, I was slipping back under the thick blankets when I heard commotion coming from outside. It was the sound of Mothers voice and she walking to someone – Rhaegar.

Burying my head into the pillow, I wanted to melt right into the mattress. I didn't want him to come in here. I didn't want him so close to me. Shutting my eyes, I appeared as if I were sleeping when the entrance rustled as someone walked in. Instantly the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I strained to listen for the sound of footsteps.

My body tingled as I felt his presence. I could feel him watching me, and then there was warmth. I could tell he was standing by my bed, but I refused to open my eyes and acknowledge it. I wanted to pretend that he wasn't, but as I felt the tips of his fingers brush a few strands of loose hair, it took all my strength not to scream at him.

It wouldn't be wise to throw a tantrum mid-afternoon, not when all the other nobles are so close and they can finally hear. Digging my nails into the palm of my hand, the indentations started to sting and I knew I'd broken the skin. His fingers were still brushing along my cheek and jaw before they swiftly disappeared. Staying utterly still, it wasn't long until I heard the rustling of the tent flaps before I knew that he was gone.

Breathing out a jagged sigh, my eyes fluttered open. I could still smell him, along with something else. My eyes swelled a little with tears as I know who the scent belongs to. Despite everything, Rhaegar had been with her today – the pretty northern girl in blue.

The lovely lady _Lyanna_.

* * *

After finally being left alone, I had drifted to sleep through most of the remaining hours of the day and night. Waking up to the sound of voices outside my tent along with the noises of a few birds, I had turned over to find myself alone; the other side of the bed unused. Rhaegar didn't come back to sleep here last night. It made me wonder for a brief moment where he _did_ actually spend his time. I quickly shook my head when a faded flash of _her_ face and laughing voices rattled in my brain.

Rolling to lay on my back, I stared up at the pointed roof of the tent. The outside weather had turned silent with its rumbling. By the bright beams of light shining underneath the fabric of the tent entrance, I assumed the dark clouds from yesterday had cleared; the chance of rain diminishing to almost nothing.

It seemed to be that the tourney will indefinitely begin today. I internally groaned at the thought of having to leave the comfort of my own solitary. Without a proper reason to stay behind, my lack of presence would be surely noted if I didn't attend the first match. And besides, I didn't want to have to answer Mothers or anyone else's questions. It's better to do what I have to do and get on with it.

Unfortunately the workings of the world don't stop for a single person _tragedy_.

Rubbing my eyes, I slowly moved to sit on the side of my bed; my legs dangling over the edge. My body wasn't in so much pain as before, it had died down to just a dull soreness. Reaching for the cup of water that had been left on my bedside, I took big mouthfuls to take away the dryness in my throat. Continuing on, I doubted that Septa would come to help me for the day ahead.

After having screaming for her to get out and hurling hurtful words, I wouldn't want to help me either. It was unfair to have done what I did to Septa. What I said wasn't true. It was the anger and pain that made me say it. I should apologise, but right now – I couldn't find it in me to do it. I didn't want to have to _apologise_ for saying and feeling the way I did.

Heading over to my trunk full of things, I picked out a suitable set of clothes to wear for the day. Starting to get dressed, I had pulled on my stocking and was halfway through trying to tighten the laces on my corset when Mother stepped into my tent "Rhaella. What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed" I replied while looking in the mirror to try and adjust the laces. It was difficult having to do it myself.

"I can see that. I mean to say, what you are doing trying to do it yourself?" walking over to stand behind me, Mother took the laces from my hands and started to tug and tighten them for me "Septa would be more than happy to have helped you"

"Would she?" I asked with an unsure tone "I didn't think she'd want to be anywhere near me. You said it yourself – she was in tears because of what I'd said"

"That maybe so" Mother nodded "But your Septa cares and loves you deeply. She understands you must have been awfully upset to have been the way you were"

I gently sighed as I looked in the mirror. I don't think it's a good idea to have Septa's company straight away. I'll wait a couple more days. For now I want to be by myself. Helping me get dressed, Mother placed the last pin into my hair. Making our way out of the tent, the harsh sunlight blinded me for a moment or two as we walked.

I felt uncomfortable for some reason as I moved out in the open. I felt as if all eyes were on me; knowing and staring deep within. I felt constantly anxious at every twist and turn as we followed the crowed of people; a handful of soldier following behind us. Nearing the stadium, I looked in awe at the massive structure that was going to hold the tourney for the remaining week.

"This way your grace" the soldiers escorted us through the seating areas to reach the middle section of the viewing area where the house Targaryen sat, along with a few other high nobles. Already perched on his large throne type chair, my Father looked out with a stern face toward the narrow field.

Taking my seat beside Mother, there's another vacant chair reserved for Rhaegar beside Father. I knew he wouldn't be joining us for most of the time. As always, he's participating in the games. Watching on, more people filed in one after the other to take up the space below us. No one sits higher than the King. No one but the Gods.

Glancing around, I could see several house banners dancing in the wind; the three headed dragon, the golden lion and the growling head of a Direwolf. Sitting down below, near the edge, I could see the Stark family all lined in a row like ducks. Right at the very end my eyes locked onto the familiar brown locks and northern style dress. My fingers curled into a tight fist before releasing. I felt as if she were everywhere – always taunting me.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" called a voice for our attention. It was Lord Walter Whent, our host "I am most pleased and eager to begin the tourney. But before I do, I want to give my most humble thanks to each and every one of you who have so graciously come to join the festivities. With that said, I'll hold you no longer – let the games begin!" applause erupted from the seated crowed either side of the narrow jousting lane.

An announcer for the events stepped forth. He was tall and rather thin, but when he spoke he captured the crowd with his descriptive introductions. One after the other, matches between wealthier and less notable men collided with broken lances and the occasional injury. There were times when people roared with smiles and there were times when it ended with a mere clap for politeness.

"And now I welcome you to the man you've all awaited so patiently for. The dragon himself, our prince – Rhaegar Targaryen!" tuning in my attention at the call of his name, the people went wild as they caught the site of his black armour and stallion.

Watching as my brother waited on one end, a burly muscular figure settled on his brown occupied the other. I believe the man to be Brandon Stark, the oldest of the northern children. Suddenly my interests became peaked at the thought of the match. Anticipating every minute, it wasn't long until the flag was woven and the horses took off toward each other; the sound rattling into my ears.

Clashing against one another, the sound of splintering wood had the crowd gasping; wondering if anyone was injured and who it might be. It was after that moment that Mother had lent over to speak to me "You always hated having to watch. You used to flinch" she said with a brief pause "Have you gotten used to it after all this time?"

"I suppose I have" I nodded. Why should I care like I used to? Why should I care if Rhaegars hurt or not – dead or not? He doesn't deserve my fear or caring heart. In a sense, a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Leaning back into my seat, I watched as they the match continued; one punishing blow after the other. Of course in the end, Rhaegar had won and Brandon Stark left to join the long list of defeated foe. Slowly moving along on his horse, Rhaegar lifted his helmet off to reveal the signature white hair of his house. I could hear as the nobles spoke to each other. I could see as the _girl_ who sat too close for comfort followed the disappearing form of my brother.

It was at least a few more hours until the matches were finally over and everyone departed the stadium to go back to their tents. Following the soldiers and Kingsguard as they escorted us from our seats, we made our way out to the open area and I quickly diverted from my parents to head back to my own tent.

Stepping inside I immediately stopped when I saw Rhaegar sitting at the table. Relieved from his armour, he wore his usual attire of black instead. I'd wondered where he went after the match had ended with Brandon Stark. Realising a glint of gold, it was then that I Sir Arthur Dayne standing by Rhaegars side; dressed in his Kingsguard uniform. They had been discussing something in hushed words before I interrupted.

Looking at them for a split second longer, I turned and left with not a single word falling from my lips or theirs. Was there nowhere I could go where neither him nor _her_ would follow? It was almost impossible. Storming off I sighed as I wondered aimlessly, trying to find a place where I couldn't be disturbed.

Shielding my eyes with my hand as the afternoon sun was still bright and strong, I weaved through a few people here and there before I finally ended up a little ways away from the city of tents and Harrenhal itself. It was much quieter now and I took minute to soak it all in. Standing in ankle length grass, I glanced around before sitting. It isn't proper for a highborn, let alone a royal, to be sitting on the dirt, but there was no one here to tell me otherwise.

Leaning back, I laid down with my arms either side of my body. I felt the gravely earth beneath my hands along with the textures blades of wispy green. Peering up into the blue sky, it turned a few shades darker as the time passed me by and I knew that eventually I'd have to go back. I only hoped that Rhaegar wasn't there when I did.

Tracking a bird through the sky, it had left from one of the tall thick trees and it swooped through the sky in an elegant pattern. It called out every once and a while, and before long there were two. Both birds flew around each other like partners in a dance. It put a smile on my face, but eventually they flew away to where my eyes could no longer follow.

Slowly getting up from the grassy floor, I dusted myself off quickly and started back toward the tents. It'll be dinner time soon and I've yet to have a bath either. Trekking along, there weren't many out at this time of the night but there were still a few men who lingered around barrel fires to talk with a few chuckles.

Passing them by, I remained as hidden as I could in the shadows as I slipped back into my tent. A dull glow filled the space as lit candles were scattered around. I was relieved to see Rhaegar and his friend were now gone. The place is empty beside myself. Making my way over to the brass bathtub hidden behind a curtain in a separate and smaller room linked to the tent, I saw that buckets of water had been set down.

I suspected they had been delivered earlier on, but with no Septa to do the rest and pour it into the awaiting tub, I was left to do it myself. Dipping my finger into the water, it was warm enough to wash. If I'd gotten here sooner it would have been better, but I wasn't going to go to the trouble of requesting a fresh batch.

Grabbing the buckets one after the other, I filled the tub with a splash before getting undressed. Stepping in, I slipped under the water and grabbed the nearby sponge. Washing up along my arms and down my stomach to clean my legs, the water turned to a milky white from the soap. Once I finished cleaning, I stayed in the water a moment longer to relieve some of the tension in my body.

I wanted to feel relaxed, but I somehow couldn't manage. Especially when a mouse like voice called out "Your grace?" a servant girl "I have your dinner for tonight. Where should I put it?"

"Just on the table" I replied.

"Alright. I'll leave you now, if that's all"

"Yes, that'll be all" I responded while standing in the tub, the water sloshing two and fro as I stepped out and grabbed a towel. Drying myself, I slipped on a crème silk white gown before walking out to see a silver tray filled with an arrangement of hot meats, fruit and vegetables.

Taking the tray, I sat on my bed and ate it instead of the table. Chewing and swallowing, I managed to get through half of the meal before I was too full to continue. Glancing around, I felt uncomfortable being so alone. I felt as if I were the only one on the planet. I'm used to being surrounded by others and now I have only my own self to keep me company.

Catching a glinting silver flash, I looked down to see the knife and fork set neatly on the side of the tray. Picking up the blade, my thumb scratched along the sharp edge as my distorted reflection peered back at me. Getting up, I placed the silver tray back from where I took it and headed around the room to extinguish a majority of the scattered candles; the knife was still clutched tightly in my right hand.

Heading over to the large bed, I pulled back the blanket before climbing in under the covers. The sheets were cold and it made me shiver. I've never liked being cold. Closing my hand around the wooden grip of the knife, I still held it under the blanket as I lay waiting. My heart had been a steady rhythm, but it slowly rose the longer I stayed awake.

I had closed my eyes to appear as if I were once again sleeping, but I'd have to pinch myself every time I caught myself dozing off. I had to stay awake. Feeling the metal blade resting flat against the side of my thigh, my brows furrowed in slight confusion. What was I thinking? What was I going to do with a knife? I was starting to second guess myself when I heard the rustling of the entrance way.

He's here.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N Another update! It's been a while, but I had to take a short break to figure out the upcoming chapters for this story. I think I've got it sorted. Also, I've been busy writing a few other original things on my FictionPress account (Pandora10001). Check them out if you're interested.**

 **Thank you all so much for the great reviews I've had recently. As always, let me know what you think.**

 **(Lady of Literature) – Keep the love and reviews coming! I appreciate your support, it really gives me so much motivation to keep writing this story and hopefully continue to do a good job. Cheers :)**

* * *

It feels like a life time has passed since Rhaegar had come into the tent. He'd relit a candle by his bedside and was currently unlacing his shoes. Waiting, my throat tightened as I swallowed and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. Clutching the knife tight, I waited as he moved under the sheets and had just leant over to extinguish the candle.

This is the time.

Getting up in a flurry of fabric and moving limbs, I threw my leg of Rhaegars waist so that I straddled him. The blade of my knife pressed against his throat, but not enough to cut into his pale skin. Immediately he froze, his deep eyes peering up at me with a somewhat narrowed look. Silence filled the space between us. I didn't know what to say as I sat on top of him, his arms resting either side of his body.

I thought that Rhaegar might have called for help. I thought he'd try to throw me off of him, or try and calm the situation. But he did the last thing I expected him to do – he lied there with no sign of a struggle. Was he going to let me do what I wanted? Was he going to _let_ me kill him? _Was_ I going to kill him?

Now that I was here with the blade pressed against Rhaegars throat, I was in the perfect position to do it. I didn't care what anyone else would do to me afterwards. I wanted my revenge. My hands started to shake a little, minutes were passing and I still haven't done the deed. It was all so much easier in my mind. Feeling wet tears begin to bleed from my eyes, they dripped down to wet his chest.

"I'm starting to lose my mind" I spoke in a whisper, more to myself than to him.

"Give me the knife Rhaella" his hand went up to hold my own shaking hand "You'll hurt someone"

"I'll hurt _you_ " I retorted "It hardly matters thought what I do, you'll never be able to feel the pain you've caused me. You'll never know how _that_ feels"

There was a pause of silence as the flame of the candle on his bedside still flickered with the air. It was our only light, and it casted a terrible shadow upon the right side of his face "I regret it" he spoke.

"You're a liar" I replied "I don't see an _inch_ of regret in your eyes or your actions. Every day you ignore me, and every day I can smell that girl all over you – even now" I breathed out "Why does it have to be with her? What does she have that I don't?"

"Nothing" he answered " _She's_ nothing"

"Then why?" I begged "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because you and I are falling apart" he answered and I stilled "Look at yourself Rhaella. Look at what you're doing" my eyes glanced down toward the knife at his throat "You're on the verge of trying to kill me – your husband"

"Yes, the _husband_ that would rape and tear his wife down to the ground" I shook my head "I was never this person. I was happy once and then it all started crashing down around me – one thing after the other. And when I turned to the person who I thought could keep me safe and standing, he turned out to be cruel and unjust"

His jaw tightened before releasing "It's true, but I still love you – I've _always_ loved you, since the moment you were born and I held you in my arms"

"Then why can't you show me? Why can't you _be_ that person?" Rhaegar reached up and touched the necklace that hung around my neck. It was the one he'd given me when he had returned from Dorne – the one with the blood red stone.

"I have" he said "I will"

I shook my head "You can't – _I_ can't keep forgiving you. It's not fair for me or for you. I have to do something"

"You _have_ to kill me?" he asked.

"I don't _want_ to" I admitted "But there's nothing else. I can't _think_ of anything else that'll make you understand – that'll hurt you enough"

"Ending my life won't hurt me Rhaella" he replied "The only person it's really going to hurt is you. In the end I'll be gone and you'll still be right here – alone. Is that what you really want?" looking down at him, the air kept catching in my lungs as I thought about what Rhaegar had said. He's right. I shook my head. It's not what I want "Then give me the knife"

I struggled.

This was the moment I wanted, and now I'm giving it all away. Slowly, I lifted the blade from his throat. Loosening my grip, Rhaegar took it from my hand and dropped it over the edge of the bed with a clang. Holding onto my legs, I gasped in fright when he flipped our position so that he laid on top of me. I started to panic. Was it a mistake handing the knife over? Was he going to finish what I started? The more I thought about it, the more horrible the thoughts became.

"Do you still love me?" he asked "Even now"

My brows furrowed as I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. For some reason my heart had skipped a beat when Rhaegar asked the question. His beautiful deep eyes looking into mine made my insides feel heavy and jittery. I couldn't deny or lie about my feelings for him, even if they are chaotic. Deep down, somewhere in me, I know I still love him. It's a fatal attraction that'll never leave us.

I nodded my head "Yes"

* * *

Three days had somehow blurred passed after that night. Somehow it was becoming easier to breathe, as if a weight had been lifted from my chest and I was no longer being held down. Each night and day, Rhaegar had become a strong presence. He no longer avoided me. He no longer treated me with silence. But most of all, that familiar floral scent of winter roses had left the skin and clothing that covered Rhaegars body. I could almost say that our lives had gone back to the way they were.

Almost.

Adjusting the buckle of my shoes into place, I looked at myself in the mirror. Lord Whent is being gracious enough to take some time away from the tournament in order to guide me on a tour through the castle. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I was alone for now as Rhaegar had left earlier to prepare for his match.

My hand felt the soft silkiness of the bed sheets. Since that night he always slept beside me. He doesn't hold me like he used to. I wouldn't let him. However, every now and then I'd feel Rhaegars warm hand skim the flesh of my arm or my back during the night, but I'd quickly shrug him away. I'm not ready to have him touch me again, not yet.

Another moment had passed as I waited, I could hear a few other people walking around outside. Then, the familiar voice our host caught my attention "Princess? Are you ready for the tour?" I straitened myself out and pulled back the flap of the tent with a smile.

"Yes, I am" he stepped back to give me some room. Out stretching his arm, I took hold of it as we made our way along the worn in pathway. Following it all the way up to the gates of Harrenhal, we made small, light conversation as we did. Walter Whent a pleasant man to talk to, not as cold as the other nobles in Kingslanding.

We stood in the stone paved courtyard of the castle "Now" he said while turning to look at me "Where would you like to begin?"

"Anywhere that best suits you" I replied with a small node.

I began to feel a little calmer as we started our journey at the large feasting hall. Lord Whent would tell me an array of things about each part of the castle. He seemed to be very knowledgeable and proud about his home. Then, he'd show me several of the hidden rooms and compartments that he'd found over the years of exploring and living in the castle.

Of course, we couldn't venture everywhere, as half of the castle had been melted by dragon flame, but that in itself was satisfying enough. To think there were once magnificent and deadly beasts soaring through the sky. There's times, like before I miscarried, when I'd have premonition-like dreams. Mother said they come to all of those that share their blood. Some say it's a curse, others, a gift.

Inspecting some of the towers that had been bent, lumped and cracked from the burning, I reached out to touch a piece of stone that had dropped from one of the towers centuries ago. The stone is charred and melted, but it felt very warm to touch despite being in the cold shadow. It was if the _fire_ were somehow still there, trapped inside.

"It's odd and fascinating isn't it?" asked Lord Whent from beside me "Many people have wondered about it"

"It's magical" I muttered with a smile. That's the only way, in my mind, that one could describe it. After another moment, I withdrew my hand and stepped back "I'd like to thank you, Lord Whent, for taking the time to show me your beautiful home" after a few hours, this was the last of the castle I had to see. The whole experience was breathing taking.

"The honour's mine, and I'm pleased you enjoyed yourself princess" he gestured "Would you like for me to walk you back?"

"That would be kind of you" Lord Whent held out his arm and I took it.

Travelling back across the massive area of the courtyard, my shoes tapped against the stone flooring as we went under the gates and down the pathway of grass and dirt. Wandering back to the city of tents, we were stopped at the site of my Mother as she exited from her tent "Rhaella, Lord Whent, I missed you two at the tourney" she spoke with her soft voice.

"Yes, I was showing the princess the castle" replied the Lord "I did make the offer. It would be poor of me to not live up to it"

"I'm sure appreciated it" said Mother with a light nod of her head "But if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to discuss something with my daughter. It's rather important"

"Of course" he replied before letting my arm go and pardoning himself. I looked toward Mother after a minute and she gestured to her tent. Following close behind, we were alone once we entered; besides Viserys' who laid sleeping in his wooden carved crib.

My brows became furrowed a little "What is it that you wanted to talk about?" I asked curiously. Is something wrong?

"You're Septa" answered Mother "It's been five days since the incident occurred and she's rather frightened that you've dismissed her services. You've yet to request her back by your side"

I glanced down at my feet "I forgot" I muttered under my breath "She may come back if she wishes. I haven't dismissed her"

"Then I'll have Septa informed" it was silent for a moment "There is also something else – are things alright between you and your brother?" she questioned

"Yes" I nodded "Things are fine"

Mother stepped forward "I don't mean to pry, but I was beginning to worry for the two of you. You've barely spoken or gone near each other since the incident and now, _miraculously_ , he hasn't left your side. I wondered if something might have happened"

Something big _did_ happen, but Mother doesn't need to know all the details of what goes on between me and Rhaegar. It would hurt her to know the truth, the _whole_ truth "We had a _discussion_. It'll get better – I hope"

"That's good. I'm glad" I gave Mother a ghost of a smile before a hiccupped cry began to echo out from an awoken infant. I thanked the interruption. I didn't want to have to talk about it anymore.

Heading over to the crib, I looked down into Viserys' fluttering eyes. His tiny legs kicked and his equally tiny hands reached out to grab at me. Leaning down, I scooped the bundle up into my arms "He's getting heavy" I smiled "A big beautiful boy" I kissed his pale forehead and felt his thin white wisps of hair that were just beginning to grow on his head.

"It won't be long and he'll say his first words" Mother spoke with a sigh "As you get older, time goes much too quick. There's some days where I wonder if I've done enough in this life. Have I seen all the things I wanted to see?"

"Have you?" I asked while turning around to look at her.

"No" she replied "And that is of no fault but my own. It's a mistake that I don't want you making Rhaella. No matter what happens, don't sit back and do nothing. I want you to explore the world. Do it for me _and_ for you own self, because if you don't, you'll get old like me and you'll regret" I passed Viserys to Mother "Children are beautiful, there's no denying it – but there not everything life has to offer"

"But what if there all that I want?" I asked "All that's going to make me happy?"

"Then that's the way it is" she replied "As long as it _really_ is what's going to make _you_ happy. That's all that matters"

I nodded – it is. Even when having a child of your own pushes your body and spirit to the very limit, even if the pain is like no other, it's still what I really want. It's always been what I wanted since I was a little girl. I wanted to imagine myself in the far future surrounded by beautiful children with white locks and capturing eyes. I just have to wait. I just have to be patient.

The day will come.

* * *

It's the last very last day until we finally depart back to Kingslanding – home.

Sitting in the seat beside Mother, we watched from the arena stand as knights in their shining armour clashed against one another. Hooves pounded the earth, the wood of lances shattered and the metal plating that shielded the men dinted with each blow they received. The matches lasted all throughout the day and the time had finally come. The long awaited finale.

It's the match that'll announce the winner of the _Tourney of Harrenhal_.

It was of course between Rhaegar and none other than a knight of the Kingsguard, Sir Barristan Selmy. It certainly made for an interesting match, and I could see a few men already wagering each other. In all eyes, it was an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. Both, my brother and Selmy had fought with vigour against their opponents, leaving no mercy.

"It has been a rather long and no-doubt enjoyable week these past recent days, and now the time has finally come for the last of our brave knights to charge once more in claim of their victory" spoke the announcer; the man who's words drew you in one syllable at a time "I am most honoured to announce our last opponents" he gestured to the left "A noble servant of the Kingsguard, Sir Barristan Selmy" he gestured to the left "And our Silver Prince, Rhaegar Targaryen, a force that is to be reckoned with" applause rang out from the crowed and I too clapped "Let us watch on for this moment in history that will surely be told in stories and sung in the great halls"

Stepping back, the announcer left the jousting area and a servant holding a flag came out to signal the beginning of the match. Leaning forward, my hands gripped the seat as I almost sat on the edge. The flag was woven with a single stroke and I watched as time slowed, the horses hooves kicking up dirt and grass as they ran on a collision course. The entire crowed held their breath – even myself. Then, when time came back to me, the sound of a bang louder than thunder struck the air.

A gasp left my lips as his body fell from his horse to land on the grass with a thud – it was Barristan Selmy. Still, after all these years and all these tourneys, Rhaegar is yet to be defeated. He'd won the match and solely claimed the title of victor. I sat back in my chair, my body relaxing, and when the excitement of it all had died down enough, Lord Walter Whent presented himself to the Prince atop his monstrous horse with a velvet cushion holding his treasure; a crown of winter roses.

"Your grace" spoke Lord Whent.

In this moment, the whole world had been pushed into complete silence as they watched. Not a single soul dare utter a word in fear of disrupting what was transpiring. Rhaegar dismounted from his horse and took off his black helmet to exchange it for the crown of roses. I waited in my seat with bated breath as Rhaegar walked forward one step at a time, and up along the blank middle section of the stand.

He had passed a couple rows of people and eventually the northern girl herself, who unlike the rest, didn't turn in her seat to watch. Coming to stand in front of me, he knelt and presented the crown with a tug of a smile on his beautiful face. Rhaegar spoke the words everyone was waiting to hear "I name _you_ the _queen of love and beauty_ "

I was shocked for a moment as I took in the site before me. I almost couldn't believe it. Leaning in, I took the crown from his hands and placed it on the top of my head. The weight of it felt heavenly and graceful, and a smile ghosted on my corners of my lips before I leant in placed them on his. An array of applause clapped from all around.

* * *

 **A/N You guys have no idea how many times I rewrote the last bit of this chapter. I was originally going to name Lyanna the Queen of love and Beauty, but then you'd probably all kill me – so here we are. Happy ending to the chapter.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think. Thanks a bunch for all the reviews I received with the last chapter! I was so thrilled and speechless by how many there were. I'm glad I made the right choice for the ending of last chapter, you guys were happy it ended with Rhaella being number one.**

 **(Lady of Lit) – Dude…two reviews 0_0 you're a legend, honestly. Yeah, a lot of people were shocked but also relieved I made the ending the way I did. It was so tempting to have it go differently though. Also, I was wondering what are your overall thoughts of "Inferno of Desire"? I was reading it last night and I'm starting to think I'm lacking with detail/fluency/wording (I'm not sure how to describe it) Awesome name by the way…it's lit…I'm sorry…I had too – for the puns sake.**

 **Theme song I found for this story and Rhaella (It gave me chills the first time I listened to it) – Madness by Ruelle**

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Standing out in the open, I took in the morning fresh air along with the warm rays of the sun as it graced along my skin. It's almost time to depart for our long journey back home. The grand carriages waited not far behind us, fully packed with suitcases and trunks of varying sizes; the horses that pulled them grazed along the green blades of grass.

Standing beside Rhaegar, we are currently saying our good-byes to house Whent along with the other nobles who crowded around "We wish you safe travels on the Kingsroad your graces. It was an honour to have the royal family in my home. I hope you come to join us sometime in the future" Lord Whent bowed along with the others, as is expected.

"Yes, yes" spoke Father "In the future"

Everyone stood straight up again and I held a smile on my face as Mother and Father moved to get into their carriage. I wish he wasn't so rude all the time. I wish Father was polite and well-mannered like he's supposed to be. It makes me feel so terrible and guilty at how lowly these people are treated by their King.

Heading over to my own awaiting carriage, Rhaegar held the door open for me "You look troubled" he said with a somewhat worried look.

I turned to him "It's nothing" I replied "I just want to go home. I miss it more than I like to admit"

"It won't be long" Rhaegars hand reached out and pushed back a loose piece of silver hair. Normally at a time like this, I would have lent in and kissed him; even if it was in front of a crowd of people. But now isn't like all those other times. This kiss I gave him for crowning me the _queen of love and beauty_ will have to suffice – small steps.

Instead, I gave Rhaegar a gentle smile before stepping up into the carriage and sitting down. He closed the door behind me and I slouched a little as I relaxed. Septa had already situated herself across from me earlier on. However, I feel uncomfortable being around her as of late. After what I did and all this time apart – it isn't the same as it was, yet.

But that's not to say I don't appreciate her effort "You seem exhausted your grace" spoke Septa.

"After being watched so closely by so many eyes, who wouldn't be a little tired?" I jested before sitting up in my seat "So much has happened in so little time. It's hard to think" reaching over, I opened the window and pushed back the curtains. I could hear a few people talking outside before the lurch of the horses jolted the carriage forward.

We're finally leaving.

Journeying along the Kingsroad through a range of tall scattered tree's and open plain views, the sun rose and the sun set on the horizon – one day after the other. Lounging in the carriage, I had tried to read a book but gave up with the sometimes bumpy terrain, and finishing my embroidery wouldn't be the safest option. So, I was left with nothing but staring out through the open window or talking to Septa.

Crossing over a cobbled bridge, I leant from my seat to peer out and have a look at the river stream below. I could smell the salt of the water along with the wet earth, and I smiled when I saw two fish swimming together in a synchronised way. Looking a little further up, two older men and a boy stood by the small riverside with fishing poles. They had stopped what they were doing to take off their hats and wave at us. I returned the gesture and when we slowly passed, I sat back down on my cushioned seat.

"That was nice of you" spoke Septa.

"It doesn't hurt to be polite. It makes a difference in the end. I'd rather have the people love me than hate me when I begin my rule" I replied.

"That's a good philosophy to have" nodded Septa "It'll certainly make things easier"

The carriage went silent after that and I sat back in my seat picking at a loose piece of thread in my gown. This long trek home isn't going as quickly as I'd hoped for. Glancing out the window, the sound of hooves became louder and a figure on top of his brown horse kept pace beside our window.

"Princess" the voice belongs to one of the soldiers "I've been sent to tell you that we'll be stopping at the local tavern shortly. The servants will take any belongings you might require up to your room for the night"

"Thank you" I nodded.

"Your grace" he rode off on his horse.

Another tavern. I thought I might have the luck of being able to camp out under the open stars again. It seems that won't be the case. Feeling the occasionally sways and bumps of the uneven ground beneath the wooden carriage wheels, I shifted in my seat as my back began to ache from the upright position. That along with the fact my corset keeps chaffing and poking me in the ribs – I'm beginning to hate traveling.

* * *

The week went slowly but surely and my heart almost leapt from my chest when my eyes laid on the draping walls of Kingslanding. Anxiously I sat almost jittering in my seat. We'd stopped perhaps once since leaving this morning and I couldn't wait to be able to stretch my legs and breathe in the familiar air. Heading along the worn in trail, we arrived at the gates and Gold Cloaks arrived to keep the crowd as controlled as possible.

Some of the common folk stood on the side of the street and waved or simply looked as we passed. Others bellowed out and called our names. But as we continued along the cobbled street, I raised an eyebrow as I saw two woman lift up their dresses to flash their bare bodies beneath. It was obvious to all at who the _display_ was directed towards, as it happened right as Rhaegar rode past on his horse.

He didn't acknowledge it and I was thankful.

Continuing along, we headed up toward the Red Keep and I marvelled at the massive structure. Sometimes I forget how big it actually is until I've been away for a while, or I see it from the city down below. Peering out, I took in the colourful sight of some of the smaller gardens and trimmed hedges with fountains. Everything's been kept so wonderfully while we've been gone.

Pulling into the main courtyard, a line of servants stood waiting to help with the baggage. Coming to a complete stop, the sound of hooves echoed along with the clanking of armour. A servant opened the door of our carriage and I stepped out first and then my Septa. Stretching my arms and legs little, I headed toward the grand double door of the Keep when Mother called my name "Rhaella"

I stopped and turned as she walked over to me "Is something wrong?" I asked curiously.

"No, not at all. There'll be afternoon tea in the gardens if you wish to join. Your Father and brother have some important matters they need to discuss with the small council" she explained.

I nodded with a smile "Alright. I'll freshen myself and join you soon" it'll be nice to spend some quality time with Mother in the gardens and by the sea.

Turning, I headed through the doors and Septa followed close behind as we made our way through the labyrinth of halls and up to my room. I paused before opening the door wide. Everything had been dusted and cleaned for my arrival. I finally felt at home. Drawn out of my moment, the Falcon Oberyn Martell had given me sat perched in the corner of my room.

I walked over to him. Stroking his feathered chest, his little head twitched here and there. The bird made another quiet noise. Suddenly, I felt fatigued from the trip and I sat down on the chair of my vanity. I closed my eyes. The site of the feather stuffed bed and its silky crisp sheets were too tempting of a site. I wanted nothing more to collapse and sleep the rest of the day away, but I'd already told Mother I'd join her for afternoon tea.

Reaching up, I tugged the pins from my hair before Septa stood behind me and took over. Upbraiding my hair, she re-tied and pinned them again. It felt more secure and not as loose or frazzled as before "Thank you" I glanced into the vanity mirror to check my overall appearance and stood "I'll be going to the gardens. You're free to do whatever you please in the meantime" I said with a ghost of a smile.

"Yes your grace" she curtsied. There was a moment of silence.

Turning on the spot, I exited my bedroom and headed back through the corridors before wandering out into the main courtyard and into the mass of the Royal Gardens. Walking alone and in a familiar territory gave me a sense of peacefulness. I sighed with contentment. With the small click of my heels along the cobbled stone pathway, my hand reached out to brush the small green leaves of the hedges and touch the velvety petals of flowers. It smelt wonderful and fresh. A hint of salt lingered in the air from the nearby sea

Heading over to the undercover area near the fountain, I saw Mother sitting on one of two chairs with Viserys in her arms. Since the moment the baby had been born into this world, Mother never dared to part from him. He was always so close to her, even though Father wasn't pleased that he joined us on the journey to Harrenhal.

I sat down on the opposite seat and Mother looked up. A spread of fresh fruit, pastries and cheeses had been lain out for us along with a pot of tea "How are you feeling after the long weeks?" she asked.

"Tired, but well" I replied "I enjoyed the tourney and the siting of Harrenhal. I've always wanted to see it in person"

"I'm glad you were able to" Mother glanced down at the babe in her arms. He was quiet and calm this evening "How is the relationship faring between you and your Septa. You too have had a week together in the carriage"

"Things have become better, but there's still time" I replied. Reaching over, I took a crème tart from the three tiered platter in front of me. Biting into it, I gave the pastry a few bites in my mouth before swallowing with a grimace. I placed the tart back down "What's wrong? You almost turned green" spoke Mother with a worried look.

I gently shook my head "It didn't taste very nice" my tongue swiped over my teeth. Taking a sip of some black tea, I tried to wash away the awful aftertaste. I'll have to remember not to eat them again.

"Try the fruit – it's better for you" I gave a small huff at the comment, the edge of my lips turning up. It was a very mother-like thing to say.

For the remainder of however much light we had left of the day, I spent it talking with Mother about a few things here and there; most of it based on events that happened at Harrenhal. Some tales were interesting to listen to, others not as entertaining; such as politics. Getting up from the table, the sun had lowered in the horizon and the sky had turned a dark shade of blue as we walked back to the Keep.

"Will you be joining us for dinner?" asked Mother as we stood in the hallway.

"No, I'm afraid I'm rather tired. I think I'll be going to bed very shortly" it almost hurt to have to hold back all the yawns that had threatened to escape me over the couple of hours since arriving home.

"Breakfast then?" I nodded in confirmation.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning. Good night Mother" giving her a kiss on the cheek. I pecked Viserys on the forehead. Partying ways, I climbed the flights of stairs to reach my bedroom and once I entered the grand room, I found Septa sitting at the dinner table with a book. She stood after hearing me walk in "Have you been here all this time?" I asked curiously.

"Yes your grace. I wanted to make sure I was here to help you bathe once you returned. The water is ready for you" she answered swiftly, her hands clasped in her laps. The tension that I felt made me feel uneasy – I couldn't take it anymore. I have to say something.

Stepping forward until I reached Septa, I took her hands in mine "I'm sorry" I said "I know I should have said it sooner, but I needed time. I know what happened that night must have scared you, but it was of no fault of yours" I paused "I don't wish to speak of the matter, but I _will_ say that I'm sorry for any harm I may have caused"

Septa had been stunned silent by my heartfelt words "Your grace" she started before simply saying "Thank you. In truth, I was – I was beginning to worry"

"Please, don't. There's no need to worry. Everything will be fine. It'll be as it was" I gave her the biggest smile I could muster. I gently squeezed her hands before letting go to take a step back "A warm bath sounds very inviting and it's getting rather late. I think I've had enough excitement for the day"

Septa gave me a smile. Heading into the bathing room, she helped me take off my dress and untie my corset. Rolling off my stockings, I stepped into the steaming bathtub and enveloped myself into the water with a pleasurable sigh. I felt as if I'd gone to heaven. Relaxing, the heat of the bath ebbed away the ache in my back and other joints while Septa began to clean my hair.

Soaking in the milky white water a little longer, it wasn't until it started to turn cold that I climbed out with a slight splash; a few drops of water running down my skin to drop onto the floor. Drying myself warm, I slipped into a cotton gown that felt smooth against my skin. Wandering out into the main area of my room, the moon glowed high in the sky along with a few wispy grey clouds via the view of the balcony.

"Will that be all tonight your grace?" Septa stood near the door way.

"Yes, that'll be all" curtsying, she exited my room.

I breathed in a sigh, the candles had been lit to illuminate the space around me with a warm glow. Walking around, I circled the room to snuff a few of them out one by one. Sitting on the side of my bed, I rubbed my arms and the back of my neck; working out the last few kinks before a knock sounded at the door.

I stood from my bed to face the door "Come in"

The door clicked open and Rhaegar walked in. My hands tightened a little as my heart began to beat a little quicker. I assumed the meeting must have ended, but why was he here of all places. It was rather late after all. Surely he must be tired from the long ride from Harrenhal "Is something wrong?"

Rhaegar moved closer "Yes, and no" he replied "I want you to talk to me"

"Talk to you about what?" I looked down at my lap, my hands fiddling with themselves to try and distract myself from whatever was happening.

"Anything – everything" he replied "I want us to be close. I want you to come to me"

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"Because it's too early" I replied "It's too early for _anything_ – _everything_. I can't force what isn't there"

"Love?"

"No" I shook my head "That isn't what I meant. I love you. I just can't be _close_ to you yet, not like before – I need time to myself"

"How much time?" stepping closer with each word he spoke, Rhaegar now stood in front of me.

"As much time as I need, for as long as it takes" from this distance I could smell the masculine scent that lingered on his clothes along with the tang of leather. Rhaegar slowly reached out to touch the side of my face with the tips of his fingers.

The caress was warm, but my body still tensed and my fingernails still dug into the palm of my hand. It was _eerily_ familiar. My eyes closed, and when I felt a pair of lips pressing against my own, I flinched away "Please" I whispered. Rhaegar stepped closer, his strong arms wrapped around me and I became trapped; like a bird in a cage.

Kissing me again with a fraction more force, my arms shifted to free myself but I could barely move. All I could do was try to avoid the interaction by turning my head, and even _that_ didn't work. Rhaegars lips were soft and sweet – intense and passionate. My hands clutched his leather vest, holding on for dear life.

It's been two weeks since we held each other so close. It's been two weeks since I've ever been kissed in this way. I missed it. Feeling Rhaegars warm wet tongue skim over my bottom lip, I hesitated. My mind became blank for a moment, and when the moment came rushing back at me – I l gave in.

Pulling him closer, I kissed him with the same vigour – the same raw emotion. Shifting ourselves, I nudged Rhaegar to sit on the edge of the bed. Placing a leg either side of his waist, I sat on his lap with my hands around his neck as we continued to kiss. When my lips felt sore and I ran out of breath, I pushed against his chest and he laid back.

My fingers reached for the ties of Rhaegars breeches and once they were loose enough, I pulled him free; he was already hard and throbbing. Leaning up with my legs, I bunched up the short skirt of my nightgown to rest just along my hips before nestling back down. With one smooth motion, a gasp left my lips as he filled me up; tight and wet.

Placing my hands on my chest, my hips swivelled in a sensual way. Pushing up and down, he nudged and rubbed up against my insides in a delicious way. The burning had dissipated the slicker I became and the long I kept my even pace. Rhaegar moved his hands up the tops of my thighs before starting to roam them up along the sides of my body.

It was then that I took his hands away and pinned them to the mattress. I didn't want this to be about his pleasure. I want it to be about mine. Rhaegars jaw went taught as he peered up at me, but he didn't say a word in protest. Moaning, I rode harder and faster, just to my liking with not a thought about the level of pleasure Rhaegar was receiving.

The stir in my stomach knotted with tingles. My thighs and calves began to burn but I ignored the pain. My hands pressed back onto Rhaegars firm chest, while his arms rested by his side. Moans and gasp flowed from my mouth. A slight sheen of sweat coated my skin, and the wet warmth dripped from my aching core.

Grinding my hips down, I felt the breaking point collapse with an intense wave of pleasure as it washed over to blur my brain and curl my toes. My legs clamped onto his waist as I whimpered. Slowly riding out the aftershocks of my orgasm, I was breathless for a moment as I looked into Rhaegars deep eyes.

Leaning down, my lips grazed his enough to barely touch. I pulled away satisfied and especially tired. Moving off of him, I could tell that he was still hard as he slipped out of me. Rhaegar sat up swiftly and tucked himself back into his breeches before getting up and leaving. The door had closed behind him with a thud and I was left all alone once again. I collapsed onto my bed and my long lashes fluttered as I drifted into sleep.

* * *

 **A/N I really want to ask a big favour. If anyone could read my other story on FictionPress, you would be an absolute champ. It's called "Dysfunctional Connection". It's a continuing story of my one-shot "The Highway", and it's going to be full of smut and drama. There's already two chapters up, so please take a look if you can and let me know what you think.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think. Cheers for the all the awesome reviews for last chapter** **J**

 **Guys! Some of you might know that I live in Australia, and over here we have an "Abbey Medieval Festival" that goes for two days. I went this Saturday and it was amazing! I had my palms read as well as my tarot cards. I shot a few arrows and rode a camel. I watched Romanians dancing in their traditional clothes. Tons of people were in awesome costumes. There was even this one couple who literally looked like they stepped out of the "Vikings" show. But what really made my day was, of course, the jousting. Holy crap you guys, I was sitting smack bang in the middle of the seating stand, and I couldn't help but think of this story (more specifically when Rhaegar crowned Rhaella). It blew my mind and I highly recommend going for any of you fellow Aussies or international guys.**

 **Lady of Lit – I really wanted to write about what happened if Rhaegar crowned Lyanna instead. The story would have gone completely differently, but I didn't think having all that extra 'heart break' would really work with the characters. About Inferno of Desire, I completely agree with you. Now that you put it all out there, I get where you're coming from. I should have made her more strong and fiery. It would've been more interesting and entertaining. Funny you should mention about Mileena running away. I originally planned for that and have Rhaegar come after her. I was going to have her meet some sort of Farmer and he'd help her hide and they'd form some sort of relationship (not anything solid though). But yeah, cheers for the review and comments. I appreciate it.**

* * *

It was in the late afternoon when I walked with swiftness through the hallways of the Red Keep. Heading up a twirling path of stairs, I felt a little breathless as I neared the chambers of the Grand Maester, housed beneath the Rookery. It had been a few days since we'd arrived home from Harrenhal and a sickness had struck me. At first it was barely anything to worry about; an uneasy stomach, small headaches and fatigue.

However, this morning I could barely stomach the smell of breakfast. It was foul scented as if it might be rotten. I knew that wouldn't be the case and so I ate a few strips of meat, only to heave it all up in a matter of seconds. Septa had witnessed the whole thing. She thought I might have caught an illness from the journey, but as the days went on – it suddenly dawned on me and I knew. I just needed to know with certainty what I thought is what is right.

Knocking on the wooden door, I heard shuffling and grumbling as the sly old man on the other side got up to answer my call. I waited for far too long as the Grand Maester Pycelle eventually cracked the door open. His eyes wandered up to look at my face before they went wide upon noticing who I am.

"Princess" he rasped with his old voice "Please, come in" Pycelle opened the door wider and allowed me to enter, not that I particularly wanted to. I still loathed the cramped room along with his presence. Pycelle closed the door behind me "What brings you to my chambers this fine evening?"

"I believe I'm pregnant again. I need to know for certain that it's true"

The Maester was silent for a moment before he retrieved his brown bag full of instruments "Are your symptoms all quite the same?" he asked in reference to the last time I visited.

"Yes, they are" I answered "Odd smells, sickness and cravings for sweets. Only this time my body is sore in places I'd rather not describe"

The Maester came over and settled his bag down onto a table "The condition of pregnancy sounds to be surely positive" he reached in and grabbed a few small bottles "I would prescribe this concoction to ease your soreness and to help you rest"

Taking the bottle of clear liquid, I tucked it into a pocket in my dress "You can rest easy. You needn't worry about keeping it a secret this time Maester"

Pycelle looked at me with a hint of shock "You mean to say you'll be informing the King and Prince?"

"I mean to say the whole Seven Kingdoms will know"

"That's most excellent news your grace" he spoke before bowing as low as he could "I would like to congratulate you on this memorable day. If there is anything you need at all your grace, I will remedy it immediately" I had to resist the urge to say something witty in return.

"I'll be sure to hold you to it"

Turning, I left the room that smelt of bird feathers and dead cats. Moving down the spiral of stairs, I paused halfway. Leaning against the wall, I took in a deep breath. My hands rested just on my belly. A sudden wave of fear and nervousness washed over me with a cold chill. Butterflies tickled my insides and my eyes slightly watered.

I'm scared of what might happen again. I don't want it to be like the last time – a time that wasn't all that long ago when I think about it. A part of me screamed that it's too early to be going through this again. It's too stressful. After today I know it'll be a long time until I'm able to sleep well again. Until I no longer have to worry that something horrific could go wrong.

Sniffling, I wiped the few tears on the back of my sleeve. Collecting myself, I continued down the rest of the staircase. Heading down and through the castle, I wandered around until I could find the man I was looking for. I eventually stopped a Kingsguard who was passing by "Your grace" he bowed. His golden armour gleamed and rattled.

"Do you know where my brother might be?"

The Kingsguard took a moment to think "There's a meeting in the council chamber your grace. I believe he might be there on behalf of the King"

I nodded "Thank you"

Heading toward the council chambers, it was a fairly decent walk as it's on the other side of the castle. Stepping up another flight of stairs, my palms began to sweat as I neared the familiar wooden door. My throat tightened a fraction. How will I say it? How will he react? My mind became filled with a million thoughts and other things.

Sucking in a shallow breath, two guards stood poised either side of the door to keep out any of the unwanted "A meeting is in session your grace" spoke one of the guards as their backs straightened from the sight of me.

"Open the door" I wasn't going to explain myself or argue for that matter. The pair of guards glanced at one another quickly before doing as I said.

All talking inside of the room immediately ceased once I entered. With arched rectangle windows looking out to the ocean, there's thick large columns wrapped in carved green vines and a large painting donned the wall behind the long wooden table. The room is somewhat dark and dim with only a few candles to light the way along with the beams coming through the windows.

Sitting at the head of the table is Rhaegar, while all the other men sat to fill the other seats. I saw a map and other documents sprawled out on the table. I wondered briefly if it was anything important – if it was anything to do with war. But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside in favour of the information I had to share. Only I wasn't going to announce it with a full audience.

"All of you, leave" I ordered, but they all sat there in a stunned sort of way. They glanced at Rhaegar like lost children wondering if they should obey my order or stay with their prince.

Rhaegar held a blank but firm look on his face "Get out" he ordered. His voice sounded more of a mutter, but it had the men immediately scurrying to leave.

The men rose from their seats. Hurrying past me to squeeze out the door, I moved forward a little and watched as Rhaegar also got up from his chair. Rounding the table, he poured himself a cup of wine and downed it before pouring himself another. The wooden door of the council chamber closed shut and were finally left alone.

"Why are you here?" he asked with a glum tone.

My eyes zoned in on the floor for a moment until I stepped a little closer to him "I have something I need to tell you" my voice had turned soft, almost a whisper. Rhaegar didn't seem to be all that interested as he turned to look at me with his cup of wine.

"Then speak" he replied with a cold tone "I have business that needs to be finished"

It's a tone that I'd grown familiar with over the last few days since the night we were _together_. After leaving my room, Rhaegar didn't make an effort to be near me like he had the remaining weeks of when we were still at Harrenhal and the journey home. I wouldn't accuse that he'd _avoid_ me, but rather kept our contact scarce since then.

I feel as if our relationship is always drifting apart, this way and that. We can never seem to come together like we once were, but we never seem to completely breakaway either. Rhaegar and I are constantly standing in the middle ground, still trying to figure out what to do and how to move on. It's difficult.

Deep down I hope that having a child might manage to fix it somehow. Taking in a shaky breath, my brows knitted together slightly. He was taking another mouthful of his wine when I told him, plain and simple "I'm pregnant"

Immediately he tensed before lowering his cup. He swallowed the mouthful before setting down the wine and walking over to me. Lowering my gaze, I felt shadowed as he stood so close that we were almost touching "You saw the Maester?" he questioned.

I nodded "Yes"

He reached out with one of his hands and gently pressed it flat against my stomach. It felt like a warm caress. Placing my own hands over the top of his, my eyes closed with a gentle sigh. I had expected worse and I had expected more, but this is enough for me. Rhaegar pressed a kiss to the top of my head and his arms moved to encircle around my waist. He pulled me to him until my body was flush against his.

My fingers clung to the fabric of his vest and as I pressed my ear against his chest, I could hear the beating of his heart. The urge and the need clicked all too quickly in my mind and body. Reaching up, my hands cupped the sides of his face and I leant up to kiss him. My soft warm lips moved against his with careful passion and he responded.

Picking me up into his strong arms, I didn't hesitate when he turned and stepped toward the long wooden table. Setting me down on the edge, his arms swept out to the clear the space. Papers and cups of wine spilled and fell onto the ground with a clang. Leaning back onto the table, a few small objects dug into my back but I didn't care about the uncomfortable position.

Pulling up the skirt of my dress, I spread my thighs wider as Rhaegar stepped forward. Lining himself up, the tip of his already hard member nudged and prodded before slipping in with a slow thrust. A faint gasp left my parted lips as I felt him fill me up with a tight stretch.

Planting a hand either side of me, Rhaegar moved his hips into mine. The table rocked and creaked beneath us from the force of his movement and moans left my mouth one after the other to fill the air. There was no doubt that the men outside could hear us; as we were making such a racket. But for now I didn't care about them, although I knew when it was all over I'd be increasingly embarrassed.

Bending over, Rhaegar kissed me again. His hands lifted up under my knees to pull me closer to him. Swivelling my hips and rocking them back and forth in tune with the rhythm, a whine left my mouth "Faster" I begged as my face morphed into expressions of pleasure.

Picking up the pace, I held my legs wide open as he rested his forearms either side to keep his weight from crushing me. While my hands clung to the sides of his vest, raked down the expanse of his back and tugged at wisps of his silver hair. Thumping against me, I revelled in Rhaegars manly grunts and moans. It was a sweet melody that had me aching and dripping for more.

* * *

The morning came with a wave of sickness as I emptied the contents of my stomach into a metal bucket. Maester Pycelle's remedy that he'd prescribed _did_ cure most of my soreness like he had said, and it did give me a good night's rest for a time – but nothing would help the illness. It would be something I'd have to deal with for as long as I'd have to, along with the other unfortunate facts of pregnancy.

When the nauseating symptom that had me feeling terrible finally abated, I was able to get dressed for the big day ahead – the public announcement. Informing Father and Mother nearly a week ago, they were both proud in their own way.

Father handled it with a placid tone, like I knew he would. It was merely an approving nod of his head, coupled with a few grumbled words. Mother on the hand was splendidly happy, but I know that she still worries for me deep down. Complications can happen more than once, as she _all too well_ knows. I try not to think of it.

One day I'll dream the future, and it'll look nothing like the past.

Standing out on the balcony, my eyes were closed as I took in the scent of the salty ocean along with the sounds of the Capitol "Your grace, the announcement will be starting soon" spoke Septa, drawing me out from my time of brief calmness.

"Yes, we should go" I agreed.

Moving away from the balcony after one last look, we headed through the winding maze of the halls until we found the large carved doors that led into the throne room. Two Gold Cloaks stood guarding either side. Walking in with a slight tap of my shoes, nobles of all houses stood on the left and right with a single path divided down the middle.

Peering right ahead, I can see the Iron Throne that supposedly took a thousand swords to make. It's the seat that my Father now resides in. Slightly hunched forward, his old eyes scowled over the crowd that had formed to receive the important news. Walking along the marble floor, large columns wrapped in carved green vines held up the massive structure.

But what made the room so grand wasn't the marble floor, the decorative columns or even the Iron Throne itself. What made this place truly breathtaking and fearsome are the dragon skulls that ran the expanse of the room. Starting small near the entrance of the throne room, the deadly skulls grew bigger the closer you came to the Throne. And seated right beside my Father is of course the largest and most frightening of them all.

Balerion the Black Dread.

Walking up the couple of steps, I moved to the right and stood beside Rhaegar who had his hands clasped in his lap. A few minutes past when the court was eventually quietened. All their boring eyes are now looking up at us with full attention. No one dare speak in this tense moment and before their King.

A King who'd probably burn you alive for all to bear witness if you tried such a thing.

"As you all know, an announcement is to be made" spoke my Father with his withered voice. He coughed a sickly cough. A habit that's been occurring frequently as of late "My only daughter, Rhaella, has conceived a child" a loud applause rang out from the crowd before it was quickly hushed "I will her the strength and the courage needed to move forward as a mother, and the endurance it will take to raise a child of her own"

Immediately afterward, Father went into another one of his coughing fits again. Moving a hand to cover his mouth, Mother stepped toward him and spoke a few words as the King spluttered until he was nearly red in the face. Watching as Father clumsily stood from his chair, the Kingsguard followed close behind him as he exited the throne room along with my Mother.

I turned my head to see Tywin Lannister, Hand of the King, take his place on the Iron Throne in order to finish off any more addresses that needed to be made. The people immediately quietened down again as Tywin began to speak. All though I wasn't particularly listening, I did manage to catch the ending of another announcement. One that had me feeling confused and a little angered.

"I wish them safe on their journey as they travel back to their homeland on Dragonstone" spoke Tywin before continuing on with something else.

I looked up toward Rhaegar "What is he talking about?" I asked quietly so that the others wouldn't hear.

"We're going home" he replied in an unfazed sort of way "We leave tomorrow morning"

"Why?" I asked, but Rhaegar didn't reply. Instead he chose to ignore me and look straight ahead.

I shook my head. Holding up the edge of my skirt a little so that I didn't trip, I swiftly stormed off down through the divided gap of the crowd. With my head bowed, I made my way out of the throne room and all the way up to my room. Closing the door behind me, I felt light headed as I slowly went to sit down on the edge of my bed.

It's all so sudden and confusing.

Wiping my hand over my face, I felt a tightness in my chest before tears suddenly began to well in my eyes. My vision became blurry as I felt a thousand emotions overwhelm me as I sat on the bed and cried with choked sobs. Sniffling, I tried to wipe away the tears but they wouldn't stop falling down my cheeks.

I couldn't control it, all these feelings.

I heard the door to my room open and when I looked up, I saw that it was Rhaegar and he was walking toward me. Getting up from the bed, the crying seemed to stop as I wiped the tears from my eyes. The sadness and upset emotion turned into anger instead, but it wasn't towards him in particular. It's hard to explain. Crossing my arms, I took a few steps away from Rhaegar.

"I'm not going" I spoke defiantly.

"This isn't a negotiation" he replied

"I'm _not_ going to Dragonstone. There's nothing there for me, no reason to go. I belong here in Kingslanding with my family" I argued.

"Why?" he asked while crossing his own arms.

"Because this is my home" I answered as if it were obvious, which is should be "This room, this castle and this city. I was born here. I was raised here – I want to stay"

"Kingslanding isn't the world Rhaella. There's other things out there, other places. Why wouldn't you want to see where you came from? You'd like it if you saw it" I shook my head. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go _anywhere_.

What would happen if I left? What about Mother and Viserys? Would I see them? What if something happens? Then we'll be too far away. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all.

"I'm scared" I admitted. My voice had turned quieter.

"Scared of what?"

"Being alone – having us and no one else" I replied "I've never _left_ home before. I've never been by on my own – without Mother, and even Father"

Rhaegar walked over to me and I looked away when I felt him touch my arm "There's nothing to be afraid of – you won't be alone" Rhaegar pulled me into his arms and I wrapped my own around his waist so that I could cling to him "It won't be forever" he said while pressing his lips to the top of my head.

Taking in the warmth of his body, I felt comforted in this moment. The sadness and anger from before had dissipated and I was somewhat calm again. Breathing in the scent of his clothing and feeling the material of his vest beneath my hands, I felt a tingle start up between my legs. I don't know why it keeps happening so frequently and not.

There's times where I don't think about it at all, and then there's time where I can't seem to get my mind off of it. When it happens, I never feel _satisfied_ , and it come about at the most unusual and somewhat inappropriate times. Of course, I wasn't going to ask Pycelle or anyone else of the strange moods I keep having. Instead, I came to my own conclusion that it's the fault of the pregnancy.

Holding onto him, my arms slowly relaxed their grip. Reaching down to take and hold of one of his hands, I brought it up to cup my cheek. It was just as warm, large and somewhat soft; still masculine from all the times he's picked up a sword. Caressing my cheek with a brush of his thumb, my inner self hummed from the feeling.

Turning my head, I kissed the side of his palm before wrapping my lips over his thumb. I sucked and my wet tongue flicked up underneath. It was a brief sensual moment as Rhaegar removed his thumb and cupped the sides of my face. Leaning over to kiss me, our lips moved against each other with passion and his own tongue pushed into my mouth.

I pushed him back toward the nearby table. The bed is too far away for my liking and so I made him sit on the chair. Pulling up my skirt, I sat on Rhaegars lap and wrapped my arms around his neck as we continued to kiss. His hands massaged my thighs as I swivelled and grinded my hips into his groin. I could feel the hardness forming in his breeches and it only made the _buzz_ in my core become stronger.

Rhaegar moved his hand down the front of my undergarments and rubbed at the little bundle of nerves. I moaned as I pressed myself closer against him. The slow circular motions sent pangs of pleasure rippling up into my belly and I felt the wetness soaking a little patch into the fabric of my undergarments. Wandering his hand further down, Rhaegar fingers slipped over my folds and to my opening before slowly pushing up into my tight channel.

Sinking my hips lower down, he was knuckle deep inside of me as he pumped his fingers in and out at a leisurely pace. Moving my lips away from Rhaegars, I peppered small kisses along his jaw and neck while relieving small moans when he'd wiggle or deepen his digits. But soon the friction and feeling of his hand wasn't enough.

I wanted more.

Leaning away, my arms unwound from Rhaegars neck and my hands found the black ties of his breeches. Quickly unlacing them, I was about to reach in and pull him out when Rhaegar took over. Shifting, his legs spread a little further apart. An arm wrapped around my waist to pull me forward as he lined himself up. Pushing down on my hips with both of his hands, I'd sunken all the way down onto his throbbing member.

A deep gasp of a moan left my parted lips.

It all happened so quickly that I had to take a moment to collect myself. Rhaegars hands that rested on each side of my hips started to move and swivel around my own. I started to respond and planted my hands onto his shoulders for support. Grinding my hips, he moved inside of me; brushing and rubbing up against my inner walls.

Moaning, I tried to thrust up and down at a quick pace, but it was hard to do that with the no real support for my legs. All I have is my upper body strength, arms and Rhaegar. I whimpered as I grabbed the edge of the table right beside us. Using my hand as leverage, it helped, but not by much.

We were struggling and he must have thought the same.

Holding me in his arms, Rhaegar got up from the chair and placed me down onto my feet. He turned me around and nudged me into the end of the table "Bend over" doing as he said, Rhaegars hand on my upper back guided me all the way over until my stomach and breasts were flush with the wooden surface.

At first I was hesitant for the safety of the baby, but the edge of the table was low enough so that it only dug into my hips and no my stomach. With my forearms tucked beside me, Rhaegar pull down my undergarment and moved up my skirt so that it was out of the way. Knocking my legs further apart, I felt him prod from behind before sinking back into my warmth.

Another moan echoed and bounced off the wooden surface of the table. Not wasting any time, he moved in and out at a quick even tempo. This is much better than before. The angle is deeper, it's faster and I'm more comfortable. My nails scratched at the dining table as I had nothing to cling on to, and my body jolted a little at every ram of his hips.

Whining and mewling as I felt every inch of him, Rhaegars hands moved between roaming along my body, to holding either my hips or pressing themselves onto the table. I couldn't help as my eyebrows knitted, or when I'd let out a sharper moan when he'd thrust his hips particularly deep. Thrusting in harder from behind, my breath hitched as my inner walls would clamp tighter around him. The flesh of my backside jiggled from his vigour and the table would rock with a slight splintering creak.

I only hoped that it wouldn't break, but just as I conjured the thought – another, more embarrassing moment had happened. The door to my room opened and I turned my head to the left with a chocked gulp as I swallowed a moan. My mind immediately went blank at the site; although I couldn't cancel out the pleasure I was still receiving.

A young servant girl had stop mid-step. She was wide eyed and scarlet red in the cheeks as she took in the embarrassing site. The whole ordeal only lasted for a few split seconds, as she immediately closed the door and fled, but it felt more like an eternity. However, the scenario didn't seem to faze Rhaegar as he didn't stop or acknowledged the fact of what happened – if anything, he became more _passionate_.

I felt a slight pressure hover over my back as Rhaegar leant over to kiss me. Turning my head a fraction further, our lips moved together as he slowed his pace to deep and long strokes instead of fast and hard. Moving my left hand up behind me, my fingers touched and tangled into his hair until he leant away.

My body was nothing but a sensitive tingling mess, and my belly felt so tight and filled with pleasure I think I might explode. Rhaegar held onto my hips again and picked up where he left off as he started to pound into me. The wetness began to pool quickly between my thighs and it dripped a little way down the inner part of my legs.

I felt myself coming closer to the edge and I moved my legs further apart and arched my back. My hands fisted into a white knuckled grip. My fingernails dug into the palm of my hands and my toes started to curl. I became louder as I felt _it_ nearing closer. Rhaegar nudged up inside of me over and over again like a constant battering ram. It felt incredibly good, and before I knew it – I was shaking.

My legs trembled a little, my inner walls clamped tighter with small spasms as I felt that familiar wave of intense pleasure crash over me. It numbed my mind with colourful sparks and I went slack after a moment; when it all started to slowly fade away. Amidst my own release, I felt the familiar rush of warmth surge into me accompanied by a manly groan.

Rhaegar slowed his thrusting to a complete stop before slowly pulling out of me. Catching my breath, my lungs panted a little, as did his. A thin sheen of sweat coated our bodies and my core ached a little but it felt satisfying. Mustering the strength, I used my hands to shakily push myself up off the table.

Pulling up my undergarments, I let the skirt of my dress fall back down. A strong pair of arms quickly wrapped around my waist straight afterwards. Rhaegar kissed my neck, his hands resting on my stomach with a gentle caress "I love both of you" he confessed.

I glanced down to the ground, my hands moved over his own "Even if it's a girl?" I questioned hesitantly. I've always wanted to ask.

He turned me around in his arms " _Even if it's a girl"_ he replied "I'll cherish all of my children – no matter what"

* * *

 **A/N Apologies for how late the chapter is.**

 **P.S I've dropped a very subtle hint of a _very big_ event that's going to be happening in this story. You'll need to pay attention to the _meaning_ and _grammar_ of the word. If you think you know what it is, let me know. I'm keen to see if you've gotten what it is or not. **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N Another update! As always let me know what you guy's think of the chapter and story so far. Reviews are much appreciate.**

 **I'd like to thank all the people who had a guess at the hint I left behind in last chapter. I'm not going to say anything though about it though. You'll just have to wait and see what'll happen. However, I've planned chapters all the way up to chapter thirty – be prepared is all I have to say about that. It's going to get wild.**

* * *

The morning sun woke me early the next morning. Standing out on the stone balcony, I overlooked the city of Kingslanding for as long as I could. My hands gripped the textured railing as I took in the sites, the sounds and the smells. I have a feeling that it'll be a long time until I see this place again. Not moving, I heard my bedroom door open from behind me. They approached and stood beside me. From the corner of my eye I could see it was Mother.

"The carriages are waiting to take you out to the docks" she said with a solemn tone. It's time – _already_.

"I'm going to miss you, and this place. I didn't want to go. It wasn't my choice"

"I know" she replied "But this will be good for you. It's frightening, moving to a new place, but you'll come to appreciate your own freedom. You're not Queen yet. Take the time to see the world before it's too late"

I nodded. Turning to her, my eyes roamed over her face; beautiful features and silver hair "Promise that we at least wright to each other"

"I promise" she said. Taking me in her arms, I pressed my cheek into Mothers chest as she held me close. I'm going to miss the warmth and comfort of her embrace. I'm going to miss her familiar voice "And promise me that you'll be safe while you're gone?"

"I will" I replied while pulling away.

"I think it's time we went" spoke Mother "Your brother will be waiting for you"

Making our way to the door of my room, I looked over my shoulder one last time. I want to make sure I remember all of it, that way I could at least take the memory of home with me. After a moment, we proceeded to walk down the hallway and along a couple of stairs.

Passing two Gold Cloaks, they pulled open the door to the main courtyard so we could walk through. Waiting for us on the other side is a carriage and wagon with our belongings packed inside. Rhaegar stood off to the side talking with our Father, about what I didn't know. I turned to Mother and she gave me a reassuring smile. I could see Septa standing further back near the door.

I gave her a nod of my head and she returned it with a smile. I was told that Septa wouldn't be coming with us, that she'd be staying here to help take care of Viserys instead. Of course, I understood, but that only meant I no longer have another person I'm familiar with. I took in a shallow breath as Mother tucked back a wisp of my hair.

"Are you ready?" Rhaegar stood behind me.

I nodded my head and we walked over to the carriage. Rhaegar held the door open for me and I stepped in. The inside is lavish with fine carved wood, decorative silk pillows and a window that opened up to the world outside. Closing the door behind me, Rhaegar left and I waited with a fluttering heart as a commotion of voices happened before the horses tugged forward.

I tried to peek out the window to see if I could find my parents, but they were on the other side. So instead I sat back as we travelled down the stone pathway to reach the docks. It felt like a long journey from the Keep to the ship, but I knew the one at sea would feel even longer. I wasn't looking forward to it. I've never been on a ship before. I've never been on the open water.

Listening to the sound of hooves beating against the ground, the carriage slowed to a halt. I could hear the sound of the water lapping up and I could smell the strong tang of salt in the air. The door opened and Rhaegar stood on the other side. He held out his hand and I took it to step out. Positioned not far away is the massive ship; the Targaryen symbol imprinted on the sail for all to see.

Watching, the servants had already begun to move our things from the wagon and onto the ship. I looked behind me to see the Keep standing tall and a little too far away. The pinnacle of Kingslanding. Rhaegar placed a hand on my lower back to guide me toward the ship and I hesitantly followed. Moving up the creaking ramp, my heart began thud loudly beneath my chest as we made our way onto the top deck.

Walking forward, I passed a couple of men that made up the crew before stepping up to the very front. A dragon head had been carved to face forward and toward the straight horizon of the sea. Arms wrapped around me and a warm body pressed in from behind. Rhaegars hands rested on my belly; firm and slightly raised.

"Careful you don't fall" he said.

My own hands rested over his as I leant back "You wouldn't let me"

* * *

The days aboard the ship went one after the other. I woke up to the sound of water crashing and I fell asleep with the gentle sway of the waves. The hours in between where filled with either sowing, reading or views of the surroundings on the top deck of the ship. Currently I was doing neither but lying in bed, trying to curb the sickness that swelled in my stomach and in the back of my throat. I wasn't sure if it was because of the baby, or because the sea doesn't particularly agree with me.

Rhaegar was upstairs on the deck when a knock sounded on the door of our cabin "Your grace" a man called through with a Southern accent "The prince requests your presence upstairs"

I sighed. I didn't want to move, but it might be important. Getting up from the bed, I moved over and opened the door. The man was still standing on the other side and he immediately raced the other way and upstairs. I followed behind him and squinted when I reached the top. The sun is bright today with no clouds in the sky.

Stepping up the small staircase to get to the main top deck at the far end of the ship, Rhaegar stood with his hands leaning against the railing. Straightening himself out, he tugged me to stand directly in front of him "What is it?" I asked.

Rhaegar handed me a silver telescope "Look" he said "Where almost there"

Immediately my eyes snapped upwards. I didn't take the time to look when I first came out, but there it is, right in front of me – Dragonstone. It's just off into the distance but clear enough to see. Raising the telescope in my hands, I closed my right eyes so that I could see the vision clearly. Roaming it over the island, the magnified view allowed me to take in a few more details. So far I could make out the fortress as it sat on a cliff made of jagged rocks.

The stone that made up Dragonstone is coloured a dark black. It appeared to look old and withered but still mostly intact as far as I could see. The great walls are also high pointed and they slanted inward to create a sharp, dangerous look. I'd been told that this place was created using magic and sorcery. That the Vylerians were capable of liquefying stone, and thus formed this grim place that consisted of so many dragons statues.

I lowered the telescope and asked "How long until we arrive?"

The man steering the ship replied "Not long now your grace. We've got good wind on our side. We'll be there within the hour"

I nodded my head. At first I wasn't too thrilled to have travelled to Dragonstone, but now that I've seen the outside, I'm eager to see the rest. For the remainder of the journey, I staid perched outside on the high deck. I watched as we became closer inch by inch, the detail and scale of the castle and island in itself becoming large and almost monstrous.

Stopping a little way out from the main shore, which is made of a large open sandbank as its low tide, we travelled the rest of the way on a rowboat. Breathing in the air on the way, it smelt of sulphur and brimstone. I could also see a small group of people are waiting for us on the sandbank; they held the Targaryen banners. I assumed that they must be here to welcome us.

Once we were as close as we could get, the man rowing the boat stopped and Rhaegar stepped out unfazed by the water wetting his boots. Getting up on shaky limbs as the boat wobbled a little, Rhaegar reached out and grabbed around my legs to pick me up off the boat. He took a few strides before setting me on the firm sandbank.

Approaching the group of people, I noticed one stood further at the front. An old round bellied man in silk clothing, he has shot curly brown hair and a pronged beard decorated with beads. He smiled and extended his arms wide in greetings to us.

The man spoke in High Valyrian "īlon welcome ao va bisa jaqiarza tubis" (we welcome you on this glorious day). He switched back to the common tongue "My name is Lord Elden Gaunt. I've been the keeper of Dragonstone for many years. It would be my honour and duty to serve you in any way I can during your stay" he gestured with his arms "If you would please follow me, I'll escort you to the castle"

Walking only as far back to the mainland, carriages waited to take us up the rest of the way. Heading up the worn in pathway, we arrived at a large dragon framed gate that entered into the main courtyard of the castle. Heading inside with a click of the horses hooves, the carriage stopped and we stepped out. The place feels damp and dreary, but not in a way that others might find unlikable. Instead the close up stone walls of the castle and the carved faces of dragons and other creatures felt oddly familiar.

"This way, if you please" spoke Lord Gaunt.

Following behind the man, we moved deeper and higher into the castle. Everything on the inside and out is made of the same black, melted stone; either smooth or jagged. Some of the floors reminded me of marble but I knew it wasn't. The archways that held up the halls and corridors had been intricately designed along with the pillars. Lit torches made of carved dragon claws also lined the walls.

It's all so grand and tall; everything much bigger and much darker. There's a _power_ buzzing in the air. I can feel it on my skin and in my veins. There's an almost inaudible deep rumble echoing down the hall, like that of a ferocious beast. This place is like no other I've seen before. It holds a twisted beauty, almost indescribable.

Continuing on down the long, large hallway, at the very end is a double door that had been carved with intricate scales and a depiction of a three headed dragon breathing fire. The Lord Gaunt opened the door and we stepped inside. As I took a long look around, the massive room was breathtaking to say the least.

There's a pillared balcony looking out into the open sea. A King sized bed had been placed on the left, it was decorated with grey pelts and blood red silk hung along the canopy. A table fit for eight people stood on top of a rug in the centre of the room, and there's a door on the right leading to a separate room for bathing.

"I hope the room is to your liking your graces" Lord Gaunt spoke with hesitance before adding "Even after the construction of Kingslanding, Aegon the first always favorited Dragonstone. He stayed in this very room, as did many other royalty after his time had passed"

"It's beautiful" I replied while turning around to face him.

The Lord bowed his head "I'm pleased to hear" he said with an easier tone "The servants will have your belongings brought into your room tomorrow, but as of now, I'm sure you'd like to rest from your long voyage" he bowed in respect before departing the room and closing the door behind him.

An object caught my eye as I turned. It was _alluring_.

Making my way over to a small table that had been set in the corner under a window. An off white skull sat perched on a stand. I recognised what it was immediately – a dragon skull, no bigger than that of a small dogs head. There's one just like it in the throne room in Kingslanding. Picking it up, I ran my finger along its forehead and down the bone of its jaw.

Father never let me touch the ones at home. This is the first I've ever held and it felt a little heavier than I thought it would. The bone smooth and the teeth sharp. A hand reached around from behind and gently pried the skull from my hands "You should rest" spoke Rhaegar.

I admit, I am a little tired.

Moving away, I headed toward the grand bed on the other side of the room. Reaching down to touch the grey pelts that scattered over the black sheets, they felt incredibly soft to touch. A smile tugged on the corner of my lips as my fingers threaded through the fur. It tickled the flesh of my palm.

Still facing the bed, I bent down to unclip my shoes before taking them off. Adjusting the small metal hooks that held the front of my dress together, I slipped off the outer layer and it dropped to the floor in a clump of fabric. Since discovering my pregnancy, I hadn't been wearing a corset as it's unwise to have it straining my belly so much. The last I had to remove are my undergarments, and they dropped to the floor after I untied the small lace at the front.

I was about to move so that I could get under the covers when I felt warm hands on my waist. Rhaegar caressed around to my firm and slightly raised stomach before travelling up toward my breasts. They'd grown tender and sometimes sore, but it felt nice when he held and massaged them gently. My eyes fluttered a little and a hum of satisfaction rested in the back of my throat.

My hand moved behind me and I could already feel the hard bulge forming beneath his breeches as I rubbed and grinded the palm of my hand. Stopping after a moment, I shifted forward and crawled up onto the bed. I wasn't far from the edge when I spread my legs and arched my back. It was signal enough and Rhaegar was quick to keep up. I felt the familiar blunt tip dipping in to my entrance a few times before sinking in.

My insides clenched around him and my hands clutched the fur pelts to keep me still. He rocked into me with a hypnotising grind of his hips; his warm hands holding onto my upper thighs. Dragging me back into each of his thrusts, moans left my lips. Rhaegar went deeper and I whined as he brushed against the _sweet places_. My heart went quick and my breaths were shallow as he quickened.

The bed rocked a little as his groin pushed into my backside with each thrust. The air around us had grown tense and heated. My body is warm and I can feel myself working up to that blissful peak. I shifted my legs wider, as far as they'd go. Rhaegars right hand moved from my thigh to run a smooth caress up the expanse of my spine, before coming back down again to travel between my legs.

His fingers pressed and rubbed at the sensitive bundle of nerves. Jolts of searing pleasure shot through me like strikes of lightening in the sky. More moans spilled from my lips to fill the room. The pleasure is relentless and intoxicating. Warmth pooled from my core and my teeth dug into my bottom lip. It wasn't long until I found myself falling over the edge; my legs and arms trembling and my insides spasming.

My lips parted and my brows furrowed as I moaned one last time.

Rhaegar slid out of me and I leant forward to slump onto the bed; my cheek burying into the pillow as my legs closed back together. They're sore and stiff. Opening my eyes a moment later, the bed dipped beside me as Rhaegar laid down. He hadn't removed his clothes – he's tired.

I gazed quietly, over his eyes with long lashes, over his smooth skin like porcelain, and over his locks of silver hair. Could a man look so beautiful? Over all the moments, it's these ones that I cherish the most. When he doesn't feel the worries and weight of the world. When he looks so gentle and peaceful.

This is the man I love.

I nudged closer to his side and placed an arm over his chest. Rhaegar immediately moved and pulled me further into the warmth of his embrace. His strong arms enveloped me and I smiled as I rested my head on his chest; listening to the heart beating beneath. I fell into a sleep.

* * *

 _The fire._

 _The blood._

 _The clang of metal echoed out as swords clashed and swung at their opponents upon the battlefield. The roaring cries of men from either side filled the air. The sounds are deafening. Teeth bared by the men are held with anger and hatred at one another. The scent of iron permeated the air with a fowl stench. Flesh is torn within bodies. Limbs are severed. The rivers of blood flow through the blackened grass beneath the men's feet to drip into the nearby streams of water; dying it a crimson red. Lives have been lost on this day._

 _Hundreds._

 _Thousands._

 _The sky is black and filled with ashy smoke; it rains down on the men below. Neither the stars nor the moon can be seen from above. Furious fire burns all around. The flames so hot it'll melt flesh and metal with a single touch. A great thunderous roar ripples into the sky from above. Two beasts soared through the air; heading straight toward one another._

 _Dragons._

 _Their scales glisten from the light of the flames below. Their monstrous eyes glow with rage. One beast held two heads and the other only one. They collide into each other with a boom that resembles deep thunder. Rows of long teeth as sharp as swords snapped and snarled. Their curled black claws dug into one another to tear flesh._

 _A battle of death._

* * *

 **A/N Serious question. How many of you guys want a happy ending, and how many of you would slaughter me if I didn't?**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N Another chapter! As always, let me know what you think of the story so far. Reviews are always encouraging (except for the person who told me Inferno of Desire is shit). Sorry about the update being so late as well, I've got University I have to do and I'm moving house as well so there's a lot going on.**

 **Thanks for the all the feedback I got for the question I left on the last chapter. The majority of you all want a happy ending and I'll endeavour to give it you, but I'm kind of struggling with how it's going to end. I was also thinking about finishing all further chapters and uploading it all at once, but I'm not sure if you guys would like that.**

 **P.S – Apologies that my version of Dragonstone may not be depicted as accurately as in the show (I went off of research for the last chapter) but I'll try to make it all better now that Game of Thrones is back and we can finally get a better look at the place.**

* * *

A servant girl by the name of Martha tied the strings of my dress with a swiftness of her nimble fingers. Thin and young, her brunette hair rested over her left shoulder in the form of a simple plat. Her eyes are the colour of fresh grass and her nose is quaint and buttoned shape. Over the last month of being on Dragonstone she and I had grown rather close with each other. In a lot of ways she reminded me off Penny. A friend I still very much miss and a friend I still think about quite often.

"There you are your grace" she said with a nod of her almond shaped head. You could see her two front teeth overlapped a little when she smiled, but that didn't take away from the natural beauty she possessed "Is it comfortable?"

Looking into the full length mirror, I gazed up and down at one of the many new dresses I'd been gifted by Lord Gaunt. Silver in colour with faint but elegant white embroidery to match, the material felt as soft as silk as it draped down my body. A silk strap ran up underneath my breasts to cross over on my chest and tie at the back of my neck. My arms and shoulders are also bare to show my pale skin.

I admit, the style of the gown is nothing like I used to wear in Kingslanding. It's much lighter and less restricting. It is, however, my favourite and it'll be much more comfortable around my belly as it continues to grow "It's beautiful" I replied before lifting the edge of my dress enough to see the silver shoes that matched. I dropped the material back down when the door to the bedroom opened and Rhaegar stepped in.

Turning around, Martha stepped aside as he came toward me and stopped. His deep eyes roamed over me "It suits you" he agreed while reaching out to touch the material with the tips of his fingers "But I don't think you should wear something so beautiful to the village"

"Village?" I questioned. I didn't realise we were going anywhere today. We've yet to leave the castle at all since arriving.

He nodded before walking over to a table and pouring himself a cup of wine "It's been brought to my attention that the people are eager to see us. The Lord thinks it wise we should make an appearance, at least once while were here"

"Of course we should" I replied.

"I'm glad you think so" he said while taking a mouthful of his beverage "The others are waiting for us in the courtyard. We leave immediately" Rhaegar sat down his cup and made his way over to open the door. Pausing for a moment, I quickly followed and we walked together to the main courtyard. Martha stayed behind.

When we reached the open place, Lord Gaunt already sat atop his brown horse along with a few guards; two of them holding the Targaryen banner. I didn't see a carriage in site and instead, Rhaegar guided me over to his black stallion that had travelled with us on the voyage across the sea.

"It's a short ride" Rhaegar said as I grabbed the horn of the saddle. He lifted me up the rest of the way before getting on behind me.

Wrapping his arms around my waist to grab the reigns, the group of us headed down the stone path and out the main gate of the castle. Following the rocky trail toward the village, it took only a few minutes to reach the place as it's located below Dragonmont.

As we neared, I peered out to see several wooden huts all clustered around. The ground is mostly grassy with dirt and scattered sharp rocks. Trails of smoke drifted up into the air from some of the huts, and the scent of fish and metal could be smelt along with the saltiness of the nearby sea. I could make out a few people here there, but in particular, a little girl stood the closest.

Dressed in withered and layered clothing, she walked with a pale of water when she suddenly saw us. Immediately stopping, she stared in our direction before dropping the bucket ad running into the village. Her little voice called out but I couldn't make out what it was. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she'd ran in fear.

Finally entering into the village, a group of several people formed around us. They all gave us large and wide smiles. They waved their hands. The children squealed. They all seemed very happy that we're here. Rhaegars horse came to a stop and he got off. Moving to get down as well, I felt his hands support my waist to make sure I didn't fall.

Voices reached out to us. Some spoke in the common tongue, some in Vylerian. The little girl who I saw drop the bucket of water had squeezed her way to the front, she smiled at me. Her cheeks are round and rosy and one of her front teeth is missing. Bending a little, I reached out with my hands and she stepped forward.

Her brown eyes are narrowed right on my hair as her little hands move to touch it "Nyke jaelagon aōha ōghar" (I want your hair) she said with a childish giggle. It made me smile.

"Ao jaelagon aōha ōghar. Yn aōhon iksos sīr gevie" (You want my hair? But yours is so beautiful) I reached out touch her own brown locks. It hung over her shoulders in two braids and little wisps poked out here and there. The little girl is adorable.

Out of seemingly nowhere, more children approached me to touch and caress the silver locks that hung from my head. They all seemed so awe struck, almost obsessed. After a couple more minutes, I stood up as my back had begun to ache, but the children still lingered as well as the others.

"They find you a rarity your grace" spoke Lord Gaunt as he stood to the side of me "Not only because of royalty, but also because of your heritage. It's been many years since a true Vylerian roamed this island. Most, if not all, of the smallfolk that populate the villages are nothing more than Dragonseeds"

I looked to Lord Gaunt in confusion "I'm not familiar with the word"

He bowed his head, as if in shame "It's hardly appropriate for me to converse in your grace"

"Tell me" I replied quickly afterwards "I won't be offended"

I wanted to know what the Lord was talking about. I'd never heard of the name before. Moving forward we began walking along the centre of the village, Rhaegar stood to my right and Lord Gaunt to my left. Some of the people still trailed behind us, mostly the children as I can hear them giggling.

The Lord paused for a moment before speaking "Many on Dragonstone can claim that they are of Targaryen descent due to the custom of _the first night_ " replied Lord Gaunt "It was a time when the reigning King or Lord would bed the wives of newly wed couples. The tradition was banned by King Jaehaerys the first, although it still conspired in the background"

At first I was shocked, and then disgust overcame me "And the people _allowed_ this, _tradition_?" I suppose if they didn't, they wouldn't be greeting us with such worship.

"Yes your grace. In their eyes you are gods, with your ethereal beauty and grace. The tradition was considered a blessing and the children born of such unions were often given lavish gifts by their father" he replied.

My brows knitted together. I'm not quite sure what to think. I suppose I'm glad it doesn't continue. No one should have to be _claimed_ on the night of their wedding. I'd think it'd be a horrible experience. Shaking the thoughts from my mind, we came upon some small town markets. It wasn't anything extravagant like in Kingslanding, but they were quaint and filled with a few things I'd never seen before.

"Princess, a gift!" called an elderly man to my left. He stood behind a table underneath the tarp. With short wispy grey hair and stubble to match, his eyes show kindness and excitement as he held out something in his hand.

I gave a smile in return and stepped over. The stall wasn't far. I looked at the object the man held, a silver necklace. A dragon had been worked and carved to wrap around some sort of glass stone. I'd never seen it before "It's called obsidian, although most refer to it as dragonglass" spoke Lord Gaunt from behind me.

"For you" the old man gestured with the necklace as he held it out with his withered hands "In blessing of your return. A time I did not think I'd see"

"Thank you. It's quite beautiful" I spoke with a smile as I took the necklace. Inspecting in closer, the light from the sun caught with a flashy glint.

"Is – is it true, Princess?" asked the old man hesitantly. I looked up "That you're carrying a child? News drifted fast from the Capitol"

I nodded with a smile "Yes. It's true"

Smiling wide with a relieved sigh, he clasped his hands together "This is good to here. The people are very happy. We _all_ give you our blessings Princess" the old man bowed his head and we continued on to look at the rest of the markets. Making new introductions to the smallfolk of the villages, it was a long and tiring day. My whole body seemed to throb and ache, especially my feet and back.

Walking along the bumpy and uneven ground beneath my feet, we made our way toward the horses. The sun is only just beginning to lower in the sky and the air is turning cool against my bear arms and thin fabric of my dress. I heard tiny pattering of feet before a tiny hand grabbed my own.

"Will you come back Princess?" asked the little girl. The one with the pigtails and missing front tooth.

"Yes, of course I will" my free hand patted the side of her head before an unknown woman pried the child away from me with a hesitant smile. I assumed it must have been her mother as they looked similar in appearance.

"Are you ready?" asked Rhaegar as he stood beside me.

I nodded and his warm hands fell to my waist. Lifting me up to sit on the saddle of his black steed, he quickly joined me and grabbed the reigns. The children formed a group along with a couple of the adults. They all waved their hands good-bye and called out as we made our way from the village.

Riding at the head of the group, we rode up to the castle that stood off in the distance; dark and mysterious like. Reaching the gates we passed through into the courtyard and I dismounted from the horse. Suddenly feeling light headed, I stumbled a little and Rhaegar quickly moved to hold me in his arms.

"Are you alright your grace?" spoke Lord Gaunt with a worried tone as he approached us.

"She'll be fine" replied Rhaegar "Long days take a toll"

Picking me up into his strong arms, my own wrapped around Rhaegars neck as he proceeded to carry me away and back into our shared bedroom. I feel tired and sluggish, like all the energy I had was suddenly zapped. He set me down on the bed and when I lied down, I felt bliss as my head rested on the feathered stuffed pillow. There was no more uncomfortable pressure, just a weightlessness of sorts.

Slipping my shoes off for me, Rhaegar sat on the edge of the mattress beside me and combed his fingers through a few strands of my hair "There much nicer than the people in Kingslanding – with all things considered, I don't think they should" I commented as my eyes drifted close from the lulling of his fingers.

"Because of the past?" he questioned.

"It isn't right to trick people into thinking you're their _God_. We're flesh and blood, just like everyone else. The only difference is a thousand years ago our family rode dragons, and now there all gone. The only thing our family has now is a title and memory, and not very pleasant ones"

It was silent for a moment "When he dies it will change" replied Rhaegar "You and I will leave a new legacy worthy for our children"

I opened my eyes "And what would that look like?" I questioned with a hum "There's always going to be war and murder. There's always going to be people who go hungry and cold"

"I never said it would be perfect. The world will never be a _perfect_ place, but I can make it into a better one"

"You don't have to prove yourself" I spoke while sitting up and taking his hand in mine "The people adore you. They know you're nothing like our Father. They'll be happy to serve and have you as their King. Why does it sound like you're questioning yourself when there's no reason for it?"

Rhaegar didn't look at me. I watched as his body tensed and jaw tightened as he stared out into the distance. Rhaegar made the familiar sound of one of his sighs. It usually happens when he's in a state of melancholy. It's been happening increasingly often as of late. It's something that's always surrounded my brother, ever since he was born.

"I'm afraid of the things I've done" Rhaegar announced "And afraid of the things I'm going to do"

I didn't know if he was referring to _that_ night – the one at the Tourney at Harrenhal. I sighed, and when I spoke, I referred to the both of us "People make mistakes – and sooner or later we all pay the consequences. As you said, the world will never be a perfect place"

Rhaegars grip on my hand tightened and he leant in to kiss me. It wasn't one filled with passion of desire, but rather it was filled with raw emotion. The feeling is hard to describe, but it means more than anything. Rhaegar pulled away and stood up, my hand slipping from his own "I'll return for dinner. Rest in the meantime" he instructed.

Leaving the room without another word, I laid back down on the bed. Turning onto my side, my hands rested on my belly; cradling it gently with my warm palm. The birds chirping every so often outside lulled me a tune that made my eyes drift closed. Why does this feel wrong? Why does it feel like a darkness is creeping ever so close?

* * *

Sitting at the grand table in the middle of the room, Rhaegar sat beside me at the head chair. A spread of delicious foods had been brought to our room; fruit, cooked meats, vegetables and salads. Taking a sip of my water, I no longer drink wine. I didn't want to take any risks, not now.

Staring at the three flickering flames of the candelabra centred in the middle of the table, I watched as the light danced with the caress of the wind flowing in from the balcony. A knock sounded at the door, drawing my attention as it opened to reveal a servant boy.

"Apologies for interrupting, but it's a letter for the Princess" he spoke with a quiet and hesitant tone.

Looking toward me, I stood up from my seat and took it from the boys shaking hands "Thank you" the servant left after a bow and I tore the Targaryen ceil to open up the parchment. Reading carefully, I gasped as my hand moved to cover my mouth. Joy and relief rocked me from head to toe.

"What is it?" asked Rhaegar.

I walked over with a smile on my face "It's from Mother. She saw the Maester a week ago and he's confirmed – she's carrying another child" I could barely believe the news. In the grand scheme of things, it hasn't been all that long ago since Viserys was born. Reading the letter over again just to make sure, I smiled wide. I'll have to write to Mother as soon as I can.

I looked up. Rhaegar was drinking from his cup of wine, staring out across on the dinner table at nothing in particular. I walked to stand by his side, my brows knitted together "You haven't said anything. You don't think its good news?" I asked curiously.

He seemed to come out of whatever spell he'd fallen into after I spoke "Yes, it's good news" he agreed "I'm happy"

"Then why don't you seem it?" I took the wine glass from his hand and sat it down before holding his hand in mine. My thumb rubbed soothing circles along his skin "Something has been bothering you these past few days. Will you tell me what it is?"

Rhaegar took his hand from mine and stood from his seat "It's nothing"

It clearly wasn't "Don't lie to me"

"I'm not lying Rhaella" he snapped with a firm tone. I was a little stunned and when he saw the look on my face, Rhaegars tense body relaxed in guilt of his outburst "I'm sorry" he apologised.

Reaching out for me, I was coaxed into his warm embrace. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I breathed in a lungful of his scent. It calmed me a little, but I'm still worried. I don't know why Rhaegar's like this. I don't know what's caused it or how I can fix it. Maybe he's worried or stressed because of my condition, or maybe there's something else that's going on; something I don't know about. Whatever the matter may be, I hope it soon passes.

* * *

 **A/N Tell me your thoughts on episodes one, two and three of season seven. I want to know what you guys think!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N Another chapter! Thanks for all the reviews I received for last chapter. It's much appreciated. As always, keep letting me know what you think.**

 **What did you guys think of episode four of Game of Thrones? I think it was amazing. Favourite episode so far.**

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Sitting on the edge of the bed, I took a deep breath in as instructed.

The Maester smelt like moths and dusty books. His chains rattled whenever he moved, but I admit, I enjoy his company a lot more than Pycelle. I'm glad I no longer have to have that staggering old man from Kingslanding touch me and look me all over. Instead, the thin old man standing before me with black peppered hair and stubble got straight to the point and never blabbed about unnecessary things.

The Maester leant back and gave me his diagnostics "Your lungs and heart are of stable rhythm and the babe is doing quite well" it's been almost three months since conception. Time seems to be getting ahead of me faster than I can comprehend. No doubt soon I'll be holding a little one in my arms.

Handing me a jar filled with white cream, the Maester explained "Apply this generously every morning and night to any area's you may find stretching of the skin. I'll concoct a few more ointments and remedies for your sickness and pain. A servant will bring them to your room immediately" he stood with clasped hands "Would there be anything else your grace?"

"No, that's all for now" I replied with a light smile in gratitude. The Maester nodded his head and packed his brown bag of mystery before pardoning himself out of the room.

Rhaegar who'd stood watching the whole ordeal stepped forward and I rose from the edge of the bed. Gently pressing his hand to my belly, he loved to feel the swell of my stomach. He loved to know that it was growing bigger, healthier and stronger each day. But more importantly, he yearned for the day he'd feel the movement beneath his hand; to feel his child kick to tell him it was there and waiting.

"I don't want you leaving the castle from now on" spoke Rhaegar.

"Why?" I asked in confusion "What's happened?"

He shook his head "It isn't safe for you to be wandering further out, not like this" he removed his hand from my belly "Stay inside of the walls. Please"

Rhaegar rarely ever says things like _that_. I nodded hesitantly "Alright, but I want to go to the garden. It isn't far away" I justified.

"The guards will go with you"

I sighed and moved away from him. There's been a constant nudging at my heart and stomach these past few days. Something's going on and he isn't telling me. No matter how many times I try and ask, I get nothing in return but that same troubled look and a few short words. It annoys me. It upsets me. What good am I if he can't even talk to me?

"There's something bothering you. What is it?" asked Rhaegar as he turned to look at me, but he didn't approach.

"You don't talk to me anymore" I replied. He sighed causing me to snicker in response "You're always doing that. Every time I want you to let me in you act as if I'm the biggest nuisance. It's frustrating when I don't know what's going on with you, or with the world around us. I still don't know the real reason as to why we moved to Dragonstone"

"I've already told –"

"Did you?" I interrupted with a raised brow "Don't treat me like a fool. We didn't sail all this way for the _view_ " there was a pause of silence "I'm sick of being left in the dark. I have a right to know"

"You can't have everything you want" I wanted to tear my hair out.

"I'm not asking for _everything_ " my tone went firm with annoyance "The only thing I want is for my husband to confide in me instead of hide in a room all day with his secret letters" I gestured to Rhaegars appearance "Do you see yourself, right now? Do you know how destroyed and withered you look? As if you haven't slept for days. As if you've been _drained_ "

Rhaegar shifted his weight as he stood and wiped a hand down his face "Everything I do is to protect you" he replied. I could see that he's struggling with what to say and how to say it.

"Protect me from what?" I questioned "Where miles away from almost everything and everyone. Now all of sudden you're telling me not to leave the castle walls, and that I need guards to escort me to the _garden_ "

"Would you rather I not care for your safety. Is that it?"

I shook my head with a sigh "Of course not"

"Then what?" he questioned. We stood in silence. I peered down at the floor while Rhaegar stared; waiting for me to answer him.

My voice went soft like a mouse "I thought we might have moved here for peace and quiet, and to be with each other, and yet I barely ever see you. You're never here with me, and when you are its silent and distant. You constantly drink and you barely eat. When you lye beside me at night, you can never manage to close your eyes for more than a couple of hours" all my emotions bubbled up making it hard to keep back "I'm worried"

"There's no reason to be worried. Everything's –" Rhaegar wasn't able to finish when a knock sounded on the door. He sighed with irritation "What is it?"

A guard entered "Forgive me. It's for you" the man held out a letter. I instantly rolled my eyes. Bowing, the guard left us in silence.

" _Another_ letter?" I gritted my teeth.

Rhaegar didn't answer me and he didn't open the letter in front of me "It's a beautiful day. I hope you enjoy the garden" turning, I watched as he left the room. Anger swelled inside of me and I pushed the nearby chair over with a loud bang.

What is he hiding?

* * *

After taking a few deep breaths and calming down from the angering situation, the guards posted outside my door escorted me to Aegon's Garden. It can be reached near the back of the castle. Walking along the dark grey stone pavement, it'd been kept in almost perfect condition considering the age of it. Filled with tall dark trees, wild roses, towering thorny hedges and cranberries, the garden had a pleasant piny sent.

It's one of the only things that remind me of home.

Brushing my fingers along the petals of a deep red rose, I breathed in the earthy smell and the aroma of the plant. It's comforting to have the familiarity. Continuing on down the pavements, I'd past two servants as they tendered the garden. But apart from them and the guards, it's relatively silent and empty. Unlike Kingslanding, there's no laughter of the children or couples going on afternoon strolls.

I feel alone.

Touching the gravely stone of one of the carved pillars, I found a seat and gladly sat down. It doesn't take much walking until my feet and back start to ache from the weight of the baby. I know the pain will only worsen, but I'm thankful for the remedies that the Maester provides for me. Staring out, I can see the ocean from where I sat. There's an empty horizon and dark clouds in the sky. It appears there's a storm coming our way.

Peering out, a gust of wind blew past me to swish through my white locks. I could smell the salty tang of the ocean as well rain. The air was also freezing cold against my cheeks and I shivered as goose bumps rippled over my bear arms and legs. Small flashes of lightening would glow in the distance. The bright breams would twist from the sky and touch down somewhere on the surface. There's no thunder yet, but I can faintly pick up the rumble.

"Princess" spoke a guard as he stepped to my side "We should make our way inside. His grace won't like you being out here when the storm hits"

"What _his grace_ doesn't know won't hurt him" I replied, never once taking my eyes off the clouds and strikes of light "Just a few more minutes' soldier, and then we can go back inside"

The guard bowed before stepping away to give me some space. Sighing, my hands gripped the seat on either side of my legs as I leant forward a little. I like to be outside where it's clear and free. It isn't nice nor fair to be trapped in a castle like a bird to its cage; no matter how big or grand. I feel most alive when I'm close to the thrills that nature provides, like a beautiful storm.

Sitting and watching as the dark clouds creeped ever so closer and the wind began to pick up to flick the bushes and trees to and fro, I felt a single drop of rain land on my cheek. Reaching up and wiping it away, the water is cooling against my skin. Getting up on my feet, I walked past the two guards and they trailed behind as we headed back through the garden to make our way to the castle.

We were only halfway when buckets of rain began to pour from the shrouded sky. A small gasp left my lips when the cold water soaked my clothes and dripped into my hair. I had to resist from smiling. I almost felt like a young child again; dancing in the rain. The guards however were not as pleased as they gently rushed me to get inside. I surmises that they either didn't like getting wet, or they didn't want Rhaegar to know that I was caught in the open rain.

Once we were inside, I was taken back to my room where Martha sat waiting for me. Immediately rising from her seat, the woman looked me up and down with wide eyes and a little shock "Your grace? What happened?"

"I was caught in the storm on my way back from the garden" I explained "It's only water"

"I'll make you're a warm bath. You must be freezing"

I shook my head "No, it's alright. Do you know where Rhaegar might be?"

Martha halted "No your grace. I haven't seen him for days now"

"Very well" I headed back to the door "I'll be back soon"

"But your grace" she hurried "You're soaking wet. You'll catch a cold"

"I'll be fine" I brushed off Martha's worry and left the room without another thought or word on the matter. Heading past the guards, I heard them rattling behind me and I stopped to looked at them both "You don't need to follow me. I'm not leaving the castle"

The guards glanced at each other before stepping back to stand by their posts. Turning around, I started down the large stone hallways until I came upon the grand double doors. Carved with a dragon scale design, the guards posted either side look to me "The Prince wish's to be –"

I interrupted "Open the door"

"Your grace –"

"I said, open the door" my voice is firm with no room for doubt. I've grown tired of playing games and people not listening. The guard who spoke nodded his head before opening the door. Stepping through, my shoes clicked against the stone floor and echoed along the walls as I walked toward the throne. I've only visited this room once since I've been here; when Lord Gaunt gave us the tour.

The throne that rested three steps high is smaller than I thought it'd be. The books made it sound as if it were magnificent site to behold. To me it was nothing but a seat that had been cut from some rock, and it held a cold and glum look to it. Dangling from the walls either side of the throne are the red Targaryen banners. The colour and symbol of the three headed dragon fitted in well with the surrounding décor.

Moving up the steps, I stood just in front of the throne. All of this belongs to Rhaegar. He's the Prince of Dragonstone, and after he ascends to the Iron Throne and a child of our own is born, all of this will be handed down; once again continuing the cycle. Reaching out, the pads of my fingers tips ran down the sharp bumpy surface of the throne. It's icy cold and it smells like wet earth and smoke.

A rustling noise caught my attention and I moved around the throne to head into the chamber of the painted table. A round room with an open view out onto the sea, four small pillars supported the open cut in the bare black wall. Centred in the middle of the room is a large table carved and painted in to the form of a detailed map of Westeros. Aegon the Conqueror planned his invasions on this very table; the one I'm now touching.

"What happened to your clothes?" asked a Rhaegar as he stood at the South end of the table, his hands planted down to lean "Did you get caught in the rain?"

"It was nice" I replied "And refreshing"

"You should have changed before wandering the castle" he said "As Princess and future Queen it's hardly appropriate to be seen soaking wet. You should be more mindful"

"Since when did you care so much about a little water?"

Rhaegar didn't answer. Standing at the North end of the table, my eye's wandered over the detailed roads and depictions of castles. My sites then landed on thick books and bits of rolled up parchment. I'm assuming most, if not all, are the letters he's been receiving. I had half a mind to pick them all up and read them, but I strongly doubt Rhaegar would be too pleased if I did.

"How long have you been staring at this?" I questioned "Reading all these things?"

"Long enough to give myself a headache" he replied with a huff. I still didn't understand. None of this is making any sense. Rhaegars deep eyes flickered up to me "Is there something you needed?"

"Take a break" I said "Have dinner with me and forget about whatever this is. It won't hurt –"

"I don't have time tonight" he replied while cutting me off mid-sentence.

"Then _make_ time" I retorted before sighing "For me"

The reigning storm from outside could be heard as the sound of rain from outside echoed into the room. Lightning flashes behind as he stood up from leaning on the table. Walking down the length, Rhaegar dragged fingers along the wooden surface as he made his way over to me. Standing behind me, his warm hands landed just above my hips.

Kissing my shoulder, Rhaegar held me close "Was it beautiful?" he asked.

"What was beautiful?"

"The garden" he explained.

I nodded my head "Yes, it's beautiful. Better than I thought it'd be, but not as intricate or full as the one in Kingslanding. You should join me for a walk next time" I turned in Rhaegars arms and rose my eyebrow "I know what you're trying to do. It isn't very clever. Stop trying to divert the conversation and have dinner with me"

Pressing his lips to mine, I turned my head to the side before he took my face in his hands to hold me still. Rhaegar kissed me with a deep passion, his warm wet tongue pushing into my mouth. He tastes like wine and sugar. The palm of my hands pressed against his firm chest as I tried to push away from his advances. Why couldn't he have a conversation? Why couldn't he accept a simple dinner proposal? How does he always find a way to twist my mind away from the task at hand?

Hurling his hands under my knees, Rhaegar lifted me up and placed me to sit on the edge of the table as I returned the kiss. It's hard to resist the temptation once you get wrapped up in their touches and embrace. Standing between my divided legs, Rhaegar pressed himself against me as his mouth left my lips to trail along the ticklish flesh of my neck.

I clutched his leather vest "I only wanted dinner" I spoke quietly.

"And now I'm offering you something much more pleasurable"

Pressing his hand against my chest, I laid back against the carved wood of the table. Some bits were uncomfortable to be resting against but my mind was instantly distracted Rhaegars hands pushed up the fabric of my dress. Peering down the curvature of my body, my three month old bump is only just that; a small bump, not anything too extreme as of yet.

Kneeling at the end of the table, my legs were placed over Rhaegars shoulders as he kissed up along the soft smooth flesh of my inner thigh. A warm fan of breath brushed over the tingling area that thumped with desire. I could feel the wet heat pooling as my blunt fingernails dug into the wood beneath me. His delicious and strong tongue is something to both love and loath.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

 **As always, I appreciate all the review I've received for this story so far. I know you guys are really eager for the next couple of chapters, and you've all pretty much voiced your opinions. Whether your right or wrong, I'm not going to tell you. You'll just have to continue to read and find out for yourself. Cheers**

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Sitting down at the wooden desk in the large grand room, I dipped the end of the quill into the dark pot of swirling black ink so that I could proceed to scribble down more words. Writing yet another letter to Mother, we converse on a regular basis; especially since receiving word about her new found pregnancy. Of course, I asked Mother all sorts of things; her health and Viserys'. I tell her how much I miss home and what I've done on Dragonstone so far.

There's never nothing to talk about when we live so far apart.

Signing the letter with sweet love, I blew on the wet black words so that they'd dry faster. Once folding the letter, I sealed it with hot red wax and the embossment of the Targaryen seal for privacy. I found Kingslanding isn't a place meant for secrets and I'd rather not have someone read my private writing out of curiosity.

Getting up from my seat, I was halfway to the door when it opened to reveal Rhaegar. He walked in with a single white rose; it's petals clear and vibrant. Twirling it between his fingertips, he held out the flower when he stood before me "For you" he said.

"It's beautiful" taking it in my hand, I brought it to my nose and smelt the elegant fragrance "Thank you"

"I'd like to take you somewhere today. Somewhere special" he announced.

"And where is this special place?" I questioned with a small smirk. I remember quite fondly and clearly the last time Rhaegar whisked me away to one of his _special places_.

"You'll soon find out" holding out his arm for me to take. I slipped my own through the gap and we made our way into the hall. I stopped and turned to one of the guards posted outside of the bedroom door "Please take this to the Maester. It's a letter for my Mother" I said to the man dressed in armour.

"Yes your grace" he nodded before departing immediately.

Continuing our journey through the large stone hallways, we'd ended up in the main courtyard. Two horses waited for us; Rhaegars black stallion and a white mare "Where _exactly_ are we going?" I questioned "Not long ago you forbade me to leave the walls of the castle, and now you're freely letting me go"

"Not alone" replied Rhaegar "And it's important that you see what I have to show you. I know you'll like it"

I gave him one last glance before making my way over to the white mare. Hoisting myself up with the help of Rhaegars strong arms, I held the reins and waited as he mounted his own horse. Following along, no others trailed behind us as we made our way out of the courtyard and onto a dirt trail.

Riding alongside him, I saw that were heading closer to the mountain Dragonmont. It's supposedly the largest active volcano in the whole of Westeros. Wrinkling my nose, the more we travelled the thicker the air smelt of sulphur and smoke. Heading up a rocky pathway, Rhaegar pulled up his horse and got down with a thud of his boots.

"This is as far as we can go, the rest we'll have to continue on foot" he said.

Getting down from the mare, I looked at him "And you didn't consider the state of your pregnant wife" I spoke with a jest and some seriousness. I'm not in the best of conditions for uneven terrain and a long distance hike.

He chuckled "You're my blood. I know you can _endure_ a little walk"

Holding out his hand, I took it in my own and we began to trek up the sort of worn in path up along the side of the mountain. It wasn't very far up in the grand scheme of things, but my feet and back ached already and I still had no clue as to where Rhaegar is taking me.

Stopping, a few lit torches had been placed outside the mouth of an incredibly large cave. I took a moment to look out over my shoulder to the view of the castle not far away in the distance. A cloud of fog surrounded the structure making it appear a little hazy in my line of site, and I could barely make out the ocean view. I turned back to Rhaegar.

"You took me to a cave?" I questioned curiously.

"One of many" he stated "Dragons used to nest in several of them on the mountain side. They liked the heat, and here they'd grow and hatch their young"

I stood in awe as I took in the information. I could barely believe it. I'm standing in a place where once a magnificent creature did the same; although many years ago "Can we go inside?" I asked with hopeful eyes. I want to see it all and take in every drop of detail.

Rhaegar gestured with his hand as we entered inside where, further in, more torches had been lit so that we could see. The flame of the fire flickered along the bumpy walls to give a soft glow. I can see claw marks of varying sizes carved into the floor, and a radiating warmth filled the hollow space of the cave. It's oddly comforting and satisfying.

Crouching down, the pads of my fingertips felt the indents that had been left behind "Why happened?" I questioned quietly "There were so many and now there's nothing" it saddened me to think about the fact "It's a pity they all died before I was born. I would have like to have seen one, even if it's just a glimpse"

No matter how many books I read or how many people I ask, nobody knows the _real_ reason as to why the dragons died out of existence. Some argue that it's because of the Maester's, and others believe it had to do with the Doom of Valyria. As of now, it's all just theories.

"They might be all gone for now, but who's say it'll be that way forever" replied Rhaegar as I rose from the ground to look at him "In a world like ours, anything's possible"

Looking in confusion, Rhaegar held something in his hand. Large and roundish, the reddish scales of the egg gleamed from the torches. It took me a moment to speak "Is this?"

"A dragon egg" he said "It's one of only a very rare few"

Holding it out to me, I gently took the elegant egg into my hands. It felt heavier than it appeared to be and oddly smooth despite the stone like scales. I'm not sure if it's because of the temperature of the cave, but I swear it felt incredibly warm in my hands; as if it still held the fire of life inside of it.

"It's yours to keep" he added and I glanced up slightly wide eyed.

I remembered back to the story my Mother had once told me. That when a Targaryen is born a dragon egg is placed into their crib. If it hatched then it showed that the babe is a true Targaryen, but if it didn't or if it was weak when born, it would be considered a bad omen. My Mother had once shown me the egg that she'd been given after birth, although it never hatched.

Ever since I heard that story I've always wanted one to call my own. One to cherish throughout time as something much more valuable than any gold or rare gems. Now my wish has been granted "Thank you" I said before I became too mesmerised by my new gift. Stepping forward, I leant up and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips.

* * *

After spending a few more hours in the cave and around the mountain exploring, we'd headed back to the castle once the sky started to turn into ribbons of bright colour. I've always thought that despite the horrific descriptions of dragon fire, the setting of the sun is what I imagine it would look like if I were to ever see it. Bright, colourful and capturing.

Sitting in a tall leather chair by the hearth, I punctured the needle through the thin fabric of my embroidery hoop before pulling the silk through with a gentle tug. Since returning home, Rhaegar had once again disappeared. I didn't bother to fight or run after him. It never works the way I want to and he never seems listens to me.

I hate the way he spends all of his time tucked away somewhere, and then, as soon as I've had my full of it he'd take me away somewhere nice or give me a beautiful gift he knows I'll love. Of course, I'd forgive him after that and the cycle would continue once again. Around and around we went. But I could never bring myself to seriously confront him on the matter, I'd always think of an excuse or feel guilty for some reason.

Martha came out of the bathing room with empty buckets in her hands "The bath is ready your grace"

"Thank you" I said before placing down the embroidery hoop and getting up from my chair. Wandering into the bathroom, I untied the simple ties of my flowing silk dress with faint embroidery. It's another one of the dresses that Lord Gaunt had given me. How could I stop wearing them when they feel so exquisite against my sensitive skin?

Once I was undressed and the material of my dress had fallen down to a puddle of fabric around my feet, I stepped into the bathtub and sat down. There's candle light everywhere and a pleasant aroma filled the surrounding air. Sitting back, Martha had walked back in to sit behind me on a stool. Gently working out the pins in my hair and untangling my braids, she brushed my silver locks before washing them with a scented soap.

Sighing at the gentle scratch of her fingernails along my scalp, it wasn't too long until my hair was washed out with fresh water before being tied up out of the way. Loose strands fell around to frame my face "Is that all your grace?" asked Martha as she stood from the stool.

"Yes, that'll be all"

Giving a bow of her head, Martha left the room and I relaxed in the tub as I focused on the hot water along my skin. Closing my eyes, I felt the steam drifting up from the surface to brush against my face and lips. It's almost lulling me to sleep and so I opened my eyes to look beside me where a candle sat. It flickered wildly unlike the others which remained still.

Staring into the flame, the moment reminded of an incident that had happened many months ago. It was just after Brendon had been banished from Kingslanding. I still remember standing by the window as he stumbled out of the cellars. I remember how his mother cried rivers of tears and how Brendon didn't see me when he'd stopped to look around.

Rubbing the centre of my palm, the flame I'd pressed my hand to that night didn't leave a scar. Sighing as I turned a little in the tub, I continued to stare into the bright candle. The bright beam hurt my eyes a little as my vision went somewhat white. A sudden thought came to mind. The dream I had when I first arrived to Dragonstone.

I remember the heat of the fire and the stench of the blood, along with the clang of metal swords and armour in my ears. It felt incredibly real, as if it were more of a memory rather than a figment of my imagination. But most of all, I remember the dragons as they clashed together to fight above the battlefield. The dream or _premonition_ has been plaguing my mind for several nights now. I see it over and over again, a constant loop of death, fear and rage.

The flame extinguished into a rising trail of black smoke and I was instantly snapped from my daze.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N Welcome back to another update! I appreciate all the reviews I've received so far. Cheers.**

* * *

A cool day with only a few rippled white clouds in the sky, I sat on the same stone seat in Aegon's garden. The guards stood not far behind, I could hear them faintly chatting to each other; trying to make the time go faster. Glancing down, my hands rested on my swollen stomach. It's grown to be noticeable now; curved and distinctive despite the draping fabric of my silk dress.

Sighing, it had suddenly became quiet. The birds in the sky couldn't be heard, nor the breeze or the mumble of the guards "Rhaella"

I could hear the gentle thud of Rhaegars boots as he came toward me. I didn't look up or turn to see him from my seat. Instead I stared out into the distance and waited for whatever it is he'd come to tell me. When I didn't hear the sound of his deep voice, I spoke up "What is it?"

"I have a surprise" he announced.

"I wonder what it is" I sighed "You seem to have so many"

It's been weeks since we'd spent time together. It's been weeks since we held a proper conversation. The cycle continues. Stepping closer, Rhaegar added "Our Mother will be arriving to Dragonstone at any moment now. The ship is already in site"

My attention diverted from the distant view to look up into his deep eyes "What?" I questioned with shock "I didn't know. No one told me she was coming"

"As I told you, it was a surprise" he said before adding "I thought it might have made you happy"

I looked away. It took me a moment to speak "It does. It makes me very happy" I replied before standing from my seat "And what about Viserys? Is he with her as well?"

"Yes, of course" he nodded "We should make our way down to greet them"

A smile graced my lips before Rhaegar held out his arm for me to hold. Taking it, we made our way out of the garden and down the long trail to reach the beach. Breathing deep, I smelt the salty ocean and I could feel the wet sand beneath my feet. A small welcoming party consisting of a handful of soldiers and Lord Gaunt had already made it to the shore before us.

Standing beside them, we waited as the ship that held the red sail of the Targaryen banner sailed ever so close to use before stopping a few meters away. A smaller boat was then lowered into the water and I squeezed Rhaegars hand as I saw the image of my Mother appearing with detail. She held Viserys in her arms and her hair is still the vibrant silver I remember.

Making her way toward us from the boat, Mother held a large smile on her face before she embraced me as best she could with the babe in her arms "You've grown more beautiful since you've been away" she said "I've missed you so much. I've missed you both"

"I've missed you too. Terribly" I added before glancing down at the gentle soft face of Viserys "I see I'm not the only one who's grown" I jested "He's so handsome" his once wispy silver hair had now grown thick and slightly curled, and his light round eyes are bigger.

"He's growing to be strong and healthy" replied Mother "Although he's surely developed a cunning personality. He'll be a handful when he learns to speak and walk"

"I'm sure" I laughed softly.

Running the back of my finger gently along Viserys' apple round cheek, his hand flicked up to hold onto my finger. I'd almost forgotten how tiny his are compared to my own, so awfully delicate. Pulling away after a moment longer, Rhaegar spoke up "We've arranged afternoon tea in one of the castle rooms. We'd very much like it if you'd join us"

Mother looked from me and Viserys to face her eldest son. Her back straightened and the beaming smile that was once there had faded a little "Yes. I'd be happy to join you" she said. I could sense the tension in the air and I wondered what could have caused it. Mother only just arrived.

Ignoring the bothersome thought in order to focus on the present, we all headed back up the trail to make our way into the open stone courtyard. Heading inside, I watched as Mother glanced all around as we walked the long dim corridors "It's been so long since I've been here. I've almost forgotten what it all looks like"

"I'd be more than welcome to give you a tour. I know I've most certainly had my fair share of becoming quite lost in this place" I replied as we turned into another hallway. The guards had departed back at the main courtyard along with Lord Gaunt. I suppose we'll be having quite a private lunch, which I'm not bothered by at all.

Entering into the large room we needed, there's a large balcony that had been opened and extravagant curtains surrounded the tall glass windows that looked out onto the sea. Centred outside on the balcony is a table with afternoon foods and beverages. Taking a seat, Mother nestled Viserys' comfortably in her arms. It seems she still doesn't like the idea of him being too far away from her.

Partaking in a few freshly baked pastries and cups of tea, we wandered from topic to topic with a handful of interesting stories. Eventually I asked the question I desperately wanted to know "It's a lovely surprise, but why did you travel so far all of a sudden?" I asked Mother.

"A change of scenery is something I've been wanting" she replied with a smile "Kingslanding becomes dull after a while, and especially more so when you two left for Dragonstone. When I read all your letters I thought this might have been the perfect place to stay for a short while. I can finally see and spend time with both of my children"

I nodded after a moment of silence "I'm glad you're here"

Picking up my cup of black tea, I sipped on the warm liquid. Silence had taken over the table. I can still feel the same tension resting thick in the air, and Rhaegar had barely spoken a word since Mother arrived. It's making me worried. I've never seen them be like this. As if there both somewhat ignoring one another's presence despite sitting right in front of each other.

What's going on? What aren't they telling me?

* * *

Sitting on the chair at my vanity table, I gazed into the mirror as Martha stood behind me; braiding my silver hair into an intricate pattern. It's been four days since Mother had arrived from Kingslanding, and Lord Gaunt had informed us that the people of Dragonstone wanted to give us a celebration in honour of the Queens arrival and our family reunion. I know that for them, it's been many years since the Targaryen's have inhabited the island; especially so many in only the last couple of months.

As the sky turned to darker shades of blue, it was time to prepare and dress for the occasion. Apparently celebrations here are a little different to any ordinary one you might find throughout Westeros. Instead there often held at night with a clear view of the stars, and there's a large fire towering several feet tall that all the men, woman and children dance around. They'd sing the old songs and they'd wear masks depicting the many dragons that once ruled the sky and land.

It sounds incredible.

"You look beautiful your grace" spoke Martha as she pushed in the last pin to secure my hair "Probably the most beautiful in the world"

I laughed "I wouldn't say that. I'm sure there's _plenty_ of others out there more beautiful than me"

"But there not _you_ your grace"

I looked at Martha in the mirror. Her same brunette hair is styled in the familiar plait over her shoulder. As long as she's been by my side, I've never known her to change it. I asked in curiosity "What do you mean?"

"I mean that all those other girls don't matter, because they'll never be you. They'll never have your name or your title, and they'll never have your silver locks – not until there old anyway" she said.

"Do you think all of that matters? Titles and names?" I asked before adding "Looks?"

"Yes, I do" she replied "Because if it _didn'_ t matter than I wouldn't be here and you wouldn't be there"

It made sense "Your right" our world and society is built off of trivial things. Money. Titles. Beauty. It all shouldn't matter when the final place is all just the same. I'm given almost everything in the world while most have barely nothing, and it's all because I was born into the right name at the right time. It's cruel how the world works.

Peering into the mirror, a familiar glint caught my eyes. The red tinged scales gleamed a little as the egg sat perched in a leather box filled with straw. Getting up from my seat, I walked over to the table it sat on; right next to the small dragon skull. Running my fingers over it I felt that familiar heat that warmed my hands back in the cave. I wasn't imagining it.

After taking one last look, I turned away from the dragon egg when the door to the bedroom opened wide. Rhaegar stepped in, dressed in fine black clothing with a silver three-dragon as I brooch on the left side of his chest. He looks incredibly handsome "Are you ready to leave?" he asked and I nodded.

Heading out the door, we walked beside each other through the halls and out to the main courtyard where there's lit torches and a carriages. Mother stood waiting in a beautiful long dress and white fur shoulder coat. Viserys is nowhere in sight and so I assumed a wet nurse is looking after him for the night. I do think that Mother needs a break and a moment to relax without having to worry about his needs.

Stepping up to sit inside of the plush carriage, Mother followed after me while Rhaegar chose to ride his horse. Listening to some muffled voices from outside, the carriage jolted forward slightly and we started to male our way toward the village. Drawing back the silk curtains and opening the square window, a gush of breeze blew in to burn my cheeks.

Taking in a deep clear breath of the outside air, I glanced outside to see the few trees appeared more like towering shadows and the mountain Dragonmont seemed to look eerie in a sense as a haze of fog surrounded it. Everything under the moonlight and stars always looks much different than in daylight. Almost like another side of the world.

Arriving a few moments later, the horses grinded to a halt and a guard opened the door. Stepping out, my shoes crunched against the gravely ground as I walked alongside Mother. Lord Gaunt leaded us further into the centre of the village and I can already see the massive glow of the fire the people had constructed. Music is already playing and a group of laughing children wearing masks ran around and past us.

One of the children stopped and lifted their mask. It's the little girl I'd met a few months; the one that wanted my hair. Smiling up at me with her missing front tooth, she lowered her mask before running off to the join the other children "There quite energetic, aren't they?" spoke Mother with a gentle laugh "One of the joys of having children is that they never run out of it"

"I should feel so thrilled" I jested.

Of course I wanted to have a happy and energetic child, but I've witness a few tantrums in Kingslanding. It's the only part I'm not looking forward to. However, I'm sure with the proper teachings that my own won't cause too much of a fuss. If the baby is anything like its father, it'll be rather contained and mature.

"You're almost nearing delivery. Time is escaping all too quick. Have you and your brother thought of a name yet?" she asked.

I paused with a crease in my brow at the question "No, we haven't. There hasn't been much time to talk about _anything_ recently" I spoke quieter than before. I didn't want Rhaegar to overhear even though he and Lord Gaunt are walking five paces ahead.

"I've heard" replied Mother as she referred to the letters I've been sending her "Has it still not changed?"

"No, it's getting worse. I don't know what to do about it. How do I get him to understand what he's doing when he won't listen to me?"

"Men are difficult" Mother sighed "But I'm sure that whatever it is, he'll tell you one day and it'll all be for a good reason"

"I can only hope"

Nearing the centre of the village the noise of singing voices and various musical instruments grew louder. A ring of men and woman held hands as they danced around the fire. There's several cooking stations for anyone who'd like to fill their stomachs, and I could almost taste the smell of ale in the air. Making our way over to the wooden logs that had been spread out so people could sit, I took my place in-between Mother and Rhaegar; although he's still conversing with Lord Gaunt.

When the next song began to play, I clapped my hangs along with the others as the children gathered with their masks and began to dance. A smile pulled at my lips and I laughed at the adorable things they'd do. Sometimes I wish I were a child again so that I could once again feel free of the dark and truthful world. It would be nice to laugh and smile without having to worry about the things and people out waiting for me out there; ready to pounce at any given moment.

"Are you enjoying yourself your grace?" asked Lord Dalton.

"Yes, very much so" I replied with a nod. I've missed being aloud out in the open air at night. Glancing up at the gleaming stars and the radiant moon, smoke from the towering bonfire slithered up into the air before disappearing.

A moment past when I saw Rhaegar move from the corner of my eyes. Standing up, he held out his hand for me to take "Dance with me" he said.

I stared at his has. I haven't danced with him since the celebration of Viserys' birth "I don't think I can" I managed to get out before the silence drew uncomfortably long.

"Of course you can"

Slowly slipping my hands into his, I stood up from my seat before the slower more sensual song began to play out. I remember the words to it and the dance that followed. Joining us by the fire, more couples in their creative masks paired up before we began. Swirling around, we barely made contact. It's not about the physical, but rather the _seductive elegance_ of how your bodies move with perfect flow and harmony with one another; surrounded by dancing dragons and the song of ice and fire.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think. Cheers for all the reviews so far.**

* * *

 _The fire._

 _The blood._

 _The clang of metal echoed out as swords clashed and swung at their opponents upon the battlefield. The roaring cries of men from either side filled the air. The sounds are deafening. Teeth bared by the men are held with anger and hatred at one another. The scent of iron permeated the air with a fowl stench. Flesh is torn within bodies. Limbs are severed. The rivers of blood flow through the blackened grass beneath the men's feet to drip into the nearby streams of water; dying it a crimson red. Lives have been lost on this day._

 _Hundreds._

 _Thousands._

 _The sky is black and filled with ashy smoke; it rains down on the men below. Neither the stars nor the moon can be seen from above. Furious fire burns all around. The flames so hot it'll melt flesh and metal with a single touch. A great thunderous roar ripples into the sky from above. Two beasts soared through the air; heading straight toward one another._

 _Dragons._

 _Their scales glisten from the light of the flames below. Their monstrous eyes glow with rage. One beast held two heads and the other only one. They collide into each other with a boom that resembles deep thunder. Rows of long teeth as sharp as swords snapped and snarled. Their curled black claws dug into one another to tear flesh._

 _A battle of death._

 _Dancing in the sky with their beating wings, a sudden screeching wail pierced through the open air. The armoured men below stopped to cover their ears with closed eyes as a monstrous shadow fell from the sky to collide with the ground. A heavy boom sounded and the single headed beast laid motionless and quiet. The fire had left its once glowing eyes and fiery body._

 _Flapping its two enormous wings, the victorious two headed dragon descended from the ash filled sky to land on top of the fresh corpse of its kin. Thunderous roars tore from their two mouths and the men froze with fear. Then, one by one, they dropped their blades of steel and metal helmets onto the ground. All the men knelt to the creature who'd conquered the world and its Kingdoms._

* * *

Jolting awake, a cold sheen of sweat covered my skin as my body trembled and my heart pounded beneath my chest. I had the same dream again, but not quite the same. There's more to it now. It's not just the fighting men or the ferocious dragons – I saw the end. The end that didn't quite make sense. None of it really made sense.

Gently sitting up in the bed and resting my back against the headrest, I wiped a hand down my face as I tried to control my breathing. I've never woken up like this before. It's never been this intense. A swirling of something sickening settled in my stomach. I don't know if the dream is good or bad, especially when it's so gruesome to watch.

Taking a look around, it's still very much dark as it's the middle of the night, but I can still faintly see the figure resting beside me. Silent and still as he slept, Rhaegar had come to bed with me tonight. A rare occasion considering that he usually joins me sometime after I've fallen asleep. Peeling away the blankets, I slipped out to make my way into the bathroom.

Closing the wooden door, I lit a candle for some light before pouring some water into the washbasin. Refreshing myself with a cold damp cloth, I looked in to the mirror to see my own reflection staring back at me; light coloured eyes and pale flesh. My hair seemed to glow from the flickering flame of the candle. I can feel a slight throb forming in the back of my skull and I sighed at the pain. Nothing has been particularly easy since I'd become pregnant; no that I thought it would be.

I'm creating life, and a gift such as that should never be _easy_.

Wiping my forehead once again with the damp cloth, I took the lit candle to guide me on my way back to the bed. Setting it down on the small square table, I'd slipped back in when I felt a hand reach to rest on top of the blanket covering my thigh. I lightly gasped from shock before realising it was only Rhaegar.

"I'm sorry I woke you" I apologised quietly

"Why are you awake so late?"

"I wasn't feeling very well" I replied. I didn't want to confess to Rhaegar the truth about my dream or nightmare. Opening my mouth, I was about to tell him to go back to sleep when I felt it – a thud coming from the inside of my belly. Looking down, I placed a hand on my stomach with a furrowed brow.

"What's wrong?" he questioned with concern before siting up.

"Nothing" I went on to say before I felt it again, but this time it's stronger. Reaching over, I quickly took his hand and pressed it against the spot "That. Do you feel it?" I asked before another kick came "It's the baby"

I smiled with a small chuckle. I thought I was going mad for a moment, and that it was all just a figment of my imagination. Although, the Maester did say that around this time it would begin to happen if I were lucky enough "He's strong, just like his Mother"

I turned my head " _He_?" I said "You think it's a boy"

"I have a feeling" he replied before taking his hand away once the baby had stopped its fuss "We should go back to be. It's late, and you need your rest" I nodded my head. Slipping further under the blankets, Rhaegar held me in his warm embrace for the rest of the night.

* * *

A beautiful day with clear sky and comfortable weather, I sat down at the table in Mothers room. She'd invited me to have tea with her. Cradling Viserys in my arms, I gazed down at his beautiful relaxed face as he slept so calm and quiet "Have you been enjoying yourself?" I asked Mother while looking up to see her sitting opposite of me with a cup of tea in her hands.

"Yes" she replied with a smile "It's a beautiful place and I've taken the time to familiarise myself with the castle again. It's all coming back to me now" Mother sipped her tea "And what about you? Have you been taking care of yourself? Listening to what the Maester has to say?"

I nodded "Of course. I have appointments twice a month and I listen and do exactly what he instructs. Everything's going quite smoothly he says"

"That's very good to hear"

Gently pushing back my chair, I stood up and made my way over to Viserys' crib. Placing him down on the soft pelts of fur and cotton sheets, I tucked his little body in nice and cozzie. My hands rested on the side as I waited a little longer to watch the tiny flare of his nostrils and twitch of his eyelashes. Turning around, I looked at Mother.

"Is something happening in Kingslanding?" I asked curiously "Anything important that I might need to know about?"

"No, there isn't" she replied before placing down her cup of tea "Why do you ask?"

"Because I don't believe what you said to me that day on the beach" I replied without hesitance "I don't believe you came here just to see us. You haven't left Fathers side for as long as I can remember. It's strange you'd do so now and it's strange that he'd let you"

"What I told you is the truth"

"Please" I said "Please don't lie to me. I have so many people who do it to me now. I'd rather not have my own Mother join them"

"Rhaella I –"

"Do you think that I can't see?" I interjected "You arrived a month ago and in that span of time, you and Rhaegar have barely spoken a word to each other. It isn't like you two not to talk, and now you avoid one another like the plague. You can barely stand to be in the same room for too long. Even now it's just me, because he didn't want to go. He made an excuse"

Mother was silent before sighing with lowered eyes "I suppose when you point it out, it's no secret that your brother and I are going through troubled times"

"Did you have a disagreement of some kind?"

"Not quite" she replied.

Remaining in her seat at the table, I stood a few steps away; a clear gap between us "And does this confliction have anything to do with Rhaegars behaviour? Is this why he's so busy all the time? Do you know what's happening?" I questioned but Mother went silent "I need an answer. I deserve something with truth in it"

Mother spoke up quickly "Yes Rhaella. I know what's happening" she replied with a sort of pained tone in her voice; as if it's incredibly hard to talk about the subject. There's a weight resting on Mothers shoulders. I can see it.

"Then why didn't you tell me about it?" I asked "I wrote you all those letters. I told you everything. You had all the chances to tell me in writing and in person" my heart sank a little "Do you have any idea how I feel? How many days and nights of misery I've had?"

"It isn't my place to tell you and it's much safer this way" she replied "It's a secret for a very good reason"

"Not any more. I want you to tell me. I don't care what Rhaegar has to say. I don't care what he's told you. I need to know. As your daughter" I said "I'm _begging_ you to tell me what's going on"

Making my over, I knelt in front of her and held her hand in mine. I am truly begging. All this time it's been a secret. All this time the two people I've trusted most in my life have kept it from me. Mother looked down at me with sad round eyes. It might even appear she'd cry as I could see a film of water cloud her eyes. Mother shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you the reason – no matter how much I want to" I looked away defeated, until she added "But I'll you that I came to Dragonstone to look after you. I came to make sure you aren't alone for the months to come"

"Alone? What do you mean?" my eyes widened and I snatched my hands away from hers "Rhaegars leaving, isn't he?"

When Mother didn't make an effort to decline my question, I stood up from my position on the floor. I couldn't believe it. Is this really true? Standing blank for a minute as I processed the information, I turned to march out of the room with determined steps. Mother called out my name "Rhaella" but I didn't listen.

Storming through the castle, I ignored all guards and servants. They all immediately cleared from my path and scattered once they looked upon my face. Rage burnt inside my heart and betrayal corrupted my mind as I found the place where Rhaegar always hides himself away in – the chamber of the painted table.

Blindly ignoring the stationed guards, I pushed open the scale covered double doors of the throne room myself and marched up the stone pathway. Moving around to the hidden room behind the throne, I found Rhaegar and three other men I'd never met before standing around the table. They turned to look at my intrusion.

"All of you, get out!" I barked.

The men quickly excused themselves as I reached for whatever closest item I could find. Throwing a heavy book toward the opposite end of the table, Rhaegar simply stepped out of the way to avoid being hit. He held an unpleasant expression as he looked toward me "What do you think you're doing?" he questioned firmly.

"I should ask you the same thing" I hissed "I spoke with Mother. She told me that she knows. But of course, she can't tell me a thing about what's going on. _It isn't my place_. _It's a secret for a reason_ " I mocked Mothers voice "But do you know what she _did_ tell me?"

"And what would that be?" Rhaegar crossed his arms.

"That you're leaving!" I snapped before throwing another heavy book in his direction "Why?! Why are you leaving Dragonstone?"

"That's _my_ business and mine alone. She shouldn't have told you _anything_ "

"Why?" I scoffed "Did she foil your _cunning_ little plan of escaping, did she?" I looked at him "You were never going to tell me, where you? You were just going to sneak off into the night and let me wake up to have you gone, while myself and _our_ unborn child stay here abandoned on this stinking island"

"I knew you would feel hurt, like you are now" he replied.

"I have a very _good_ reason to be like this. All these stupid secrets and selfish plans, they make my insides hurt and I can't take it anymore" I said with a shake of my head "Just tell me. Tell me why I'm not going with you"

"Your better of here where I know you'll be protected. It isn't safe" he replied "Your condition should make that very evident"

"My _condition_?" I scoffed "I'm pregnant, not dying" I replied before pausing "All this makes me wonder if this was your plan all along. To whisk me away to Dragonstone, not for us to be _happy_ or for us to be _together_ , but so you could run away for some unknown cause"

"That's enough!" he snapped "You'll do as I say and you'll stay here on Dragonstone where you belong, that's final"

Rhaegar didn't answer, but remained quiet. Stepping beside the edge of the carved table, I stopped halfway as to not get too close to each other. Rhaegar didn't move from his spot at the very end, but instead remained standing with his arms crossed while. I watched as he stared down at _the world and its Kingdoms_.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

We'd never been torn so far apart.

Rhaegar had left like I'd been told he would. It wasn't a farewell at the beach while I watched him sail out to sea. It wasn't a tearful fight as he left on his black stallion. It was none of that. Instead, it was exactly how it was going to be; without a single word and during the night. Rhaegar didn't tell me when he'd be leaving, but the moment I'd rolled over to see his side of the bed bare and remade – I knew.

An emptiness had filled me from that day on, despite the heavy and ripe life flourishing inside of me. It made me so incredibly mad to know that he wouldn't be here to see his child enter this world. I saddened me to know that he didn't care enough, although Mother assured me that that isn't the case.

It was an incredibly long and bothersome night when I was jolted from my restless sleep to a gush of fluid escaping from between my legs. Peeling back the thick duvets, the mattress and sheets had all been completely soaked. My heart pounded as I gasped in shock. I was frozen stiff for a few moments before I moved myself to get up from the bed. My completely round and swollen stomach had made things such as mobility increasingly difficult.

Ignoring the trickle of even more fluid as it dripped down to puddle along the floor, I opened the door with a groan "Get the Maester" I called to the guards posted outside "My baby is coming"

The two men looked at one another "Yes your grace" they both ran off with a clank of their armour and I left the door open before waddling back to the soaked bed. Lighting a few candles on the bed side table with shaking hands, I judged by the slight lightening of the dark blue sky outside that it's early morning.

Beginning to rock a little side to side, I waited patiently when a handful of servants rushed in with fresh bed sheets, bowels of water and plenty of towels "We'll change the bed right away your grace" spoke one of the women as they went to work. I didn't see a point in doing so as it's only going to get dirtied again, but I didn't complain.

Once they were done, the Maester shortly arrived along with the midwife; an elderly woman with green eyes "Your grace, is there any pain?" asked the Maester.

I nodded "A little"

"Please, lie down. You'll be much more comfortable" I did as he said and got back into bed "Now, there's still a few hours yet until the child is to be delivered. From now to then, keep calm and drink plenty of water. When the contractions begin, it's good to get up and move about. It'll help ease some of the pain along with the remedies I've prepared"

"Alright" I nodded "Has someone gone to get my Mother?"

"Yes your grace" replied the midwife "I'm sure she'll be here any moment"

Waiting in bed, the Maester had left along with the handful of servants. There's no reason for them to be here where there's nothing quite happening as of yet. The midwife sat on the tall chair by the hearth when my Mother arrived dressed and ready. She came to my bedside.

"I heard the news" she said "Is everything alright? Has the Maester come to see you yet?"

"He did" I nodded "Everything is going according to plan so far"

Mother smiled before leaving to grab a seat "I suppose, now there all there is to do is wait"

"I'm scared" I confessed as she sat down on the seat she'd placed near my bedside "I don't know what's really going to happen. I don't know if it's all going to be okay"

"It will" Mother took my hand in hers "I'm right here and I won't leave. Not unless you want me too"

I gently squeezed her hand. That's the last thing I want her to do "I want you to stay"

Staying well rested and hydrated, hour after hour began to pass; each feeling longer than the last. The time soon came when the contractions began to rear its ugly head and the real pain began to start. In the beginning it wasn't so intense or close together, but as it drew on, I felt as if I'd never catch a break from the waves of cramping pain.

Waddling up and down in a straight line along my bed, my hands rested to support my lower back as it ached with fury. Mother had replated my hair to hang over my shoulder, and a sheen of sweat had formed on my pale skin despite the cool breeze blowing in from the balcony. I tried not to complain too much. I know I'm not the first person to ever give birth and I know I'm certainly not the last. Plenty of women have gone through this, and I know I can do just the same.

Wincing as another contraction took hold, I held onto the bedpost with one hand as I inhaled deep controlled breaths. There's times when I wonder just how my Mother was able to cope going through with three pregnancies, and now a fourth. You almost have to be mad to do it. Standing hunched over, the pain refused to dissipate and I had to grit my teeth.

"Your grace" spoke the midwife as she stood up from the tall chair "Its best you get back into bed now. I'll go fetch the Maester and tell him you're ready"

"Ready?" I questioned with a grunt "Ready for what?"

"To start pushing" she replied. My face paled at the notion. It can't be that time already. Can it?

The midwife left the room to get the Maester while Mother got up from her chair "Into bed" she instructed while pulling the thick duvets off to leave only the sheets and pillows behind "Don't worry and don't be scared. Deep breaths"

"I can't do this" I said with a shake of my head "I've changed my mind"

"I'm afraid you're _far_ too late to change your mind" replied Mother. I looked at the bed and swallowed dryly before painfully moving forward to lie back down. Propping cushioned pillows up behind me so that I'm as comfortable as I could ever be, a few minutes past when the doors opened the Maester and midwife walked back in.

Mother had moved out of the way and the man in his robe and chains took her place "Here, your grace" handing me a small vile of liquid, I downed it without question "It'll help ease some of your pain, but unfortunately not all. We can't risk you falling unconscious" the Maester then gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze "I bid you good fortune. The midwife will take very good care of you"

Giving a bow of his head, the man left the room without another word. It's not appropriate for a male to be in the birthing room at any point in time until after the child is born. Two female servants entered and stood ready for any instructions the midwife may give them. My heart is pounding beneath my chest and I'm trembling with nerves.

"Prop up your legs" ordered the midwife "Nice and wide so that I can see" I blushed before doing as she said and bending my knees before spreading my thighs. Pulling up the end of my gown so that it's resting above my hips, a white cloth was thrown over to give some privacy. I'm glad that I don't have to see what's going on.

Waiting, I could feel sweat forming all along my skin "Take deep breaths" spoke the midwife. I sucked in one breathe at a time, slow and as calm as I could "On the count of three, you're going to start pushing"

I only nodded my head as I couldn't find the words to speak. This is happening. This is happening on this day and in this moment. I'm so close to seeing the face I've only dreamt of looking upon. A thought suddenly saddened me and I soon felt tears slipping from the corners of my eyes. Through all this time, Rhaegar and I never decided on a name.

"One" counted the midwife "Two" another tear fell "Three"

Pushing with all my might, the splintering pain that tore inside of me felt unbearable. Gripping the sheets with white knuckles, a groaning hiss escaped my lips as my eyes squeezed shut. I stopped pushing when I needed to take in a lungful of air. I hadn't realised I'd stopped breathing until now. Gasping as I slumped back into the cushions, my gaze flickered up to the red canopy of the bed.

I cried.

"Again" ordered the midwife "You have to push again"

When I didn't do as she said, the pressure of pain began to build inside of me. Mother came to my side and took my hand in hers "You can do it" she said while wiping away my tears "Keep pushing"

I sniffled "I can't" not without Rhaegar. Not when I know that he's somewhere else instead of here.

"You have to" replied Mother. I nodded. She's right. I have to be strong.

Sucking in some air, I pushed as hard as I could and repeated the process; over and over again. I feel incredibly exhausted. My vision has gone a little blurred. A mirage of servant left and entered the room with crimson towels and bowels. The air stunk heavy of blood and sweat. My cotton nightgown clung to my body and my loose strands of hair to my face.

Wiping my forehead with a damp cloth, my Mother held my hand and the midwife gave words of encouragement. Swallowing dryly, my throat had become raw from all of the screaming "I can see the head" announced the midwife "A few pushes and it'll be done"

I felt joy.

Not wasting anymore time, I squeezed to push this child out of me. I wonder after all this seemingly long time if the baby even wanted to see the world. I feel as if it's being so stubborn. Pushing once again, I gasped when an emptiness overtook me. I went wide eyes when I eventually heard the pitched wail of an infant rip through the air.

Shifting my legs down so that I could see, the midwife held a bundle in her arms. Getting up from her stool by the foot of the bed, she came over to my side. Lowering her arms, I was hesitant to move or touch it "Go on" encouraged Mother with a smile "It's alright"

Holding out my arms, the new born was nestled near my chest. I looked down at the small little face covered in some dry blood and other fluid. I smiled with a chuckle as more tears welled in my eyes, but these are ones of happiness this time "It's a boy" I said.

"Yes your grace" replied the midwife "A healthy baby boy"

"He's much more beautiful than I imagined" touching the soft skin of the little boys' cheek, his deep eyes surrounded by thick lashes stared up at me. He has the eyes of his father. Captivating.

A quiet and peaceful moment passed "What will you name your son?" asked Mother as she lingered by the bedside to see as much as she could.

It came to me in an instant and I knew it would fit perfectly "Aegon" I replied "What better name for a future King?" continuing to hold the child in my arms, he was incredibly silent but curious as he looked all around with a small fidget of his arms and legs.

Suddenly wincing, a sharp jolt of pain stirred in my groin and I gasped "What is it?" asked Mother with clear concern "What's wrong?"

Another crippling pain hit me "Take him" I said while holding out the bundle for Mother. Taking the baby from me, the midwife had stationed herself at the end of the bed. A familiar pressure began to form in my belly and I knew on instinct that I have to push.

"What's going on?" I demanded firmly.

"Your grace, you need to start pushing" replied the midwife "There's another"


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

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A daughter had followed that day.

A radiant little thing that I'd named Visenya. With beauty and grace, she held the vibrant eyes of her mother and pale skin like her twin brother. Nestled in my arms by the fire, Visenya rested peacefully sound as I held her close to my chest. It'd been weeks since the birth and yet I still fell under a mesmerising spell whenever I looked at both of my children. For some reason a part of me couldn't believe that they're right here in front of me.

"Are you ready?" asked Mother as she came to stand by my side; holding Aegon in her arms. I nodded before slowly standing.

Heading toward the grand double doors of the bedroom, I stood and turned to see it all one last time. Who knows how long it will be until I see this place again. I want to soak in every last detail and every last memory I've made in this room. Looking upon the tall windows, the canopy bed and the open balcony, my eyes flickered two and fro. Finally.

It's time to go home.

Receiving a letter by raven, we'd been given clear instruction to return home immediately. It's the only letter I've received from Rhaegar since the night he'd left for his unknown cause. I felt relief that I'd finally be returning to Kingslanding, but I felt a pang in my heart as I know it won't be the same. I can sense it. A great change has happened, and I fear what I'll discover.

Heading out onto the main courtyard, Lord Gaunt and the other soldiers sat on their horses to escort us to the beach. Getting into the stationed carriage along with Mother, our luggage had already been packed and sent to the awaiting ship. Jostling forward a little as we began to move, it was only a few short minutes until we made it to the very bottom of the cliff.

Stepping out, sulphur and salt hit my nose. The smell didn't bother me anymore. I've become so used to it during these long months. Walking along the soft wet sand, it was quiet except for the sloshing of the water and howl of occasional waves of wind. Waiting not far out is a row boat and then the ship a little further; its sails coloured black with the insignia of house Targaryen showing proudly.

"Princess, my Queen" addressed Lord Gaunt "I wish you good fortune and safe travel for the journey home"

I nodded "Thank you. You've been most kind and generous during our stay. Perhaps one day we'll meet again in the near future"

"I looked forward to the day" he said before bowing.

Walking the rest of the way out, we boarded the small boat and I made sure to tuck the fur pelt closer to Visenya. She's so fragile and small. I worry about every little thing that might happen. The protectiveness of a mother I suppose. Rowing to the main ship, we were soon on deck with a handful of the scurry crew and some soldiers.

Heading down into the cabin below, this where we all staid for the remainder of the journey. Neither Mother nor I spoke many words to each other. A tenseness had formed between us and it was caused by the _unknown_ of what's to come. I've still been kept in the dark, despite having been summoned home. There came a point when I'd left the subject alone all together. I know it'll only be a matter of time before I discover it all for myself.

They'll be no more hiding after that.

There'll be no more lies.

Travelling with good winds and smooth seas, it took us just under a two weeks to journey from Dragonstone to the large flourishing port of Kingslanding. Immediately the weather felt a little warmer and the surroundings a little livelier. I can already hear the bustling of the people outside and I'd yet to emerge from the cabin.

A knock sounded on the wooden door "Your grace, we've docked. A carriage is waiting for you" announced a man from the other side.

"Are you ready?" asked Mother.

"No" I replied honestly "But I have no other choice"

Holding Aegon closely, we made our way up the small wooden steps to reach the top deck. Heading down the ramp, I could see some common folk all stopping to stare at us. Some waved or shouted, and some stood silent or bowed. I could hear them all gossiping. It's the first time anyone outside of a handful of people on Dragonstone have ever seen my children. They'll both be the talk of the Capitol and the Seven Kingdoms for months; as it always is when it comes to royalty.

As informed, there's a luxurious carriage drawn by two black horses. I couldn't help but notice the three golden members of the Kingsguard waiting for us as well, including Sir Barristan Selmy. He held open the door with a friendly smile and I stepped up inside. Travelling along a little further, a few more others shouted from outside as they saw us heading toward the castle.

When we arrived outside, the first think I noticed when exiting the carriage is that there was no one there to greet us "Where is everyone?" I asked Barristan.

"His grace is busy with many important duties. Although he _is_ very eager to see the children"

"Surely he can't be _too_ eager if he's not here to welcome us home" I replied with slight venom in my words, but it was by no means directed toward Barristan. None of this is his fault. He's a good man "Where is he?"

"In the throne room, your grace" Barristan lowered his eyes.

I nodded "I don't want to wait. I want to see him now" I said before leaving to make my way into the castle walls.

Walking down the familiar corridors and pathways, I felt slightly uncomfortable as passing nobles stopped to bow to me along with the servants. The Kingsguard followed behind me and when I stood outside of the double doors of the closed throne room, I could faintly hear the commotion coming from inside. The stationed guards bowed before slowly opening the doors to reveal the crowed of people and familiar interior.

It suddenly became quiet, like death had taken over the room. All eyes turned to stare at me as I stepped forward with a click of my shoes. What I was expecting to see was my Father, slouched on the Iron Throne as all around him kept their fearful gaze lowered. I expected Fathers withered voice, wrinkled face and gloomy attitude – but that isn't what I saw.

I understood now.

The world finally made sense. My dreams made sense. The secrets and lies all made sense. Perhaps I should have seen it coming. Perhaps I should have known from the very start. All those conversations we'd talked about. All those important details that I happened to overlook. I was too taken over by my emotions to see clearly what was right in front of me, but now I could – because there was no mistaking the man who now sat on the Iron Throne.

The King.

My husband.

Rhaegar Targaryen.

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 **THE END**


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